—Present life, year 2017—

All the missing pieces of the puzzles were slowly coming together. But tons of questions remained.

The puzzles still came to me the same way it had been. Through my dreams.

What used to be vague and blurry when they first came to me, they had started to become clearer for the past year that I began to finally able to tie them together, piece by random piece. Yet it did not mean that I was able to get all the answers or to see clearly the part of my life I had allegedly left behind. And most importantly, it certainly had not helped me to figure out what I was supposed to be doing now or what steps I should be taking next.

Sometimes a dream came in the form of memories. Sometimes they were voices, dark voices coming through echoes, talking to me and asking me things that made no sense to me at all — like the ones I kept having where I was lost in nothingness or the ones that came as I found myself standing in the middle of nowhere, either it was an empty street, dark alleys, even inside an empty, terribly rundown house. Other times, the dreams meant nothing at all.

I had yet to recognise who it was that had been talking to me in these dreams. But at one point, I had somehow come to realise that ever since I met Jungkook and the kiss between us happened, these voices came to me more often, and there would always be someone there, even if I could never see their faces, rather than just finding myself alone in an endless void.

Some dreams I would forget instantly the moment I woke up the next morning. While with others, I would remember bits and pieces of them, only enough for me to write them down into my notes in random scraps of unrelated scenes, the same way Taehyung had done it for me before. Yet even if I had been able to have them all written down, I had never truly gone back to those notes to try and decipher them myself.

Until today.

A few days had gone by after that afternoon. I had been staying in Jimin's one-bedroom loft ever since, having this urge to stay close to him which kept getting stronger since the first night I shared his bed. We have been spending more time together while Jungkook had been nowhere on sight. Not that it mattered, however, since I clearly had no idea how to face him after that day.

This was the first day I returned to the dorm.

I was getting some change of clothes when I grabbed the notes I made about these dreams and one of the many notes Taehyung made which I had kept with me all this time. As I sat down on my bed, rearranging the pages to figure out the timeline, the sequences, to finally had a clear picture of how my other life was supposed to be like, I still found nothing. Nothing that made perfect sense.

"Hey, you're back," Jisoo greeted me as she walked in, surprising me as I had failed to notice her walking into the room, being so immersed in what I was reading. "Didn't think you'd be back anytime soon. Or have you come by only to pack up your things?"

"Uhm—" I was caught by surprise that I choked for a minute, but the sudden rise of her brows let me know that she had found her answer already. I looked over to my overnight bag which I had placed right beside my bed and laughed. "You got me. Yeah, I hope you don't mind me staying with Jimin for the next week."

She only laughed about it and shrugged. "It's fine. I'm just glad seeing you guys happy," she said as she flopped down on her bed. "My cousin keeps gushing about you and you've been in his place so much lately I was expecting to see you moving in with him by now."

Her comment surprised me so much it made my face flush with the thought of living together with Jimin. But I played it off and laughed at her. "But what will you do if I leave you here, though?" I pouted playfully, before jumping onto her bed and gave her a big, clingy hug.

"I'll be all alone, weeping for my loneliness and wait until Christmas when I can punish my cousin for stealing you away," she joked, before grinning widely when I tightened my arms around her. "Nah, if you move out then I might be looking for my own place or move in with Jiwon. He's been talking about getting a small lodging not too far from campus grounds. It's near a lake and it'll be great for weekend getaways. But I have a feeling he'll be ditching the frat house and just move there permanently if he's really getting it."

The moment I heard about what she just said, I sat back and thought about it for a while, as I was taken back to something which I remembered from one of the short bits of memory I had with Jimin.

A lodge. By the lake. And a picture of Jimin driving—

"A—a lodge? Sounds interesting," I muttered while she was scrolling down her phone. "Is he, uh—planning to buy it anytime soon?"

Jisoo only shrugged lightly. "Nah, he's just talking about it. He'll probably save up some more money before finally getting it or something," she said, before muttering something about how her rich boyfriend would sometimes refuse his family's money when it comes to splurging on things unrelated to his study. "Don't worry, if he really gets it, I'll invite you and Jimin to spend the summer there and we'll have tons of fun together."

"Yeah," I answered her, forcing a smile even if there was an unnerving feeling in my chest about it. "I'm sure it'll be fun."

That night, while I was sleeping in Jimin's arms, I found myself strolling down a beach in my dreams.

I could still feel his arms around me even though I was standing there all alone, watching the waves chasing each other over the white sand and the sunset over the horizon while my skirt was dancing with the passing breeze. As the sun kept descending from the sky, a boat came towards the small port nearby and I watched it as it docked, settling against it after battling with the waves.

Someone stepped out of the boat soon after, wearing all white and glowing under the dimming sunlight. His silky locks were growing messy as they kept being thrown with the wind, but the man couldn't care less about it. He took his time taking care of his boat, tying it up on the deck before returning to the boat. With his hand extended, he reached out to a faceless woman who took his hand and helped her step out of the boat carefully before they walked away, towards the other side of the beach from where I was standing.

My eyes kept following him, watching his movements, his facial expression, everything that I could catch on from the distance. I never paid attention to the woman who was holding his hand, too immersed on his look — the soft hair that would probably glide easily through my fingers, the smooth skin and his soft smile, and the crescent-like eye smile that appeared while he was conversing with her, laughing and joking as the wind carried his gentle voice my way.

The sweet voice that could sing me to sleep but would be able to wake all of my senses and my dormant soul awake.

"______?"

A familiar voice called my name, gentle and loving at the same time, and I looked away from the couple to turn around.

The person who spoke to me stood in the distance, right at the top of the sandy hill at the center of the beach. I couldn't see his face, his hair came falling over his eyes that I could only see his mouth moving when he called me. It felt like I have known him all my life, yet I could also feel like there was something missing. As if there was a painful void in my chest when he spoke to me,

"Come on. Let's go home."

He extended his hand at me, yet the first thing I did was look over my shoulder, finding the man with the gentle voice and the calming smile now gone. Not even a trace of him left as both the boat and the port had also disappeared all the same time.

There was nothing left there but us — the faceless man and me — the white sand that was starting to slip between my bare toes, and the sound of the chasing waves coming from behind me.

The sky was growing darker, and I looked back to the man who had summoned me, still with his hand extended as he was waiting for me.

Then, without saying a word, I began walking, climbing the sandy hill to join him and placed my hand in his. And the dream ended abruptly the moment our hands touched without giving me a chance to see his face.

[03.22 PM] To Taehyung: Can I see you today?

[03.25 PM] From Taehyung: Sure. Catch me in the library. I'll be finished in about half an hour.

While I have been trying to get my life together, Taehyung had been busy with his class projects and the upcoming volunteer work which he had been so excited about joining. We haven't been seeing or talking to each other much aside from the phone calls and texts so I had yet to get him caught up with everything that had been going on lately.

It wasn't that I had no reason at all to make the decision of letting him be and focus on his life.

He had been so invested on what I had been going through that I was starting to feel worried that he would be putting his own life on hold just for me. It wouldn't be fair to him and I didn't want any of that. Nor did I want to be so dependent on him when it was my life, my future that I was dealing with.

But for now, I had no choice but to let him back in. Not only because he was the only one I had who could help me and the only one person I could talk to when it came to my case, but also because I couldn't keep this secret from him any longer.

That was why I decided that I just had to see him. Immediately. Before it would be too late and I would find myself in more trouble than intended.

I found him in the library not long after he had parted ways with his study group. He was waiting for me at our usual spot — the small corner where we used to read books about old man's folktales, paganisms, old religions, and all other theories that we believed would be able to help us understand my case better.

He was staring down at a book, flipping the pages a bit carelessly while he was waiting for me. The sunlight coming in from the nearest window made him glow between all the books lining up around him that I stopped to enjoy the view for a moment before finally letting him know I was there.

"Hey," I greeted him as I placed my bag on the empty chair next to him.

"Hey, you," he said, leaving his seat so he could hug me tight in his arms as if we haven't seen each other for years. "I missed you. I was just about to call you."

"It was a good timing then," I chuckled, feeling glad that I could see him yet a tad bit nervous about our talk.

He pushed his books aside as he settled back down on his seat. "So how's it going?" he asked me as we caught up with our lives, with him talking about his class projects and assignments while I talked about how my relationship with Jimin had been going. He seemed pleased — or more like, relieved, even — when he heard about the possibility of me sharing a place with Jimin.

"That's good," he said, beaming with a smile as he listened to me. "He's a really good guy and if things are great then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. We really should hang out together more," I told him, suddenly regretting the fact that we were somehow drifting apart from each other. Something which was not supposed to ever happen. "So, how's the volunteer work? Is it going well?"

Taehyung seemed excited when I mentioned it. Though I couldn't help but notice that he became slightly nervous when he was about to speak. "Yeah, we'll be visiting the mountains this fall for our first project before going abroad. A few farmers needed some new and upgraded greenhouses before winter comes. We'll be in charge of that," he said, before telling me more about the plans on submitting the report on his volunteer work to help him gain more credit for the next semester. He looked at me, looking a bit unsure for a brief moment before adding, "You know, you should come. The team has been thinking about having some design and architecture students join us to help with all the technical stuff."

The idea of getting back to our old pattern, to do things together, side by side, was quite thrilling that I just couldn't pass on the chance for it. "Sounds like a good idea. I'll think about it and arrange my schedule if I can," I made him a promise, to which he was smiling excitedly. "It'll be nice to do something together. It's been a while."

He gave me a small smile to agree. "Yeah, it has."

And then it was finally time for me to tell him everything.

"Speaking of doing something—" I started, only to stop when I couldn't decide how to begin.

But as someone who had known me for many years, Taehyung caught up with it. He leaned forward, curiously reading my face when I couldn't speak. "What it is?" he asked. "You told me there was something important that you wanted to talk about."

Biting my lips, I tried to decide if it was alright to involve him on this once again. But then I figured it would be best to speak now or never at all and let him decide if he still wanted to help me. After a moment of contemplating, I finally spoke. "Remember how we did some researches on—you know, this?" I finally asked him while pointing at myself. Then an understanding look came into his eyes when he nodded. "Do you still keep the notes from back in high school and some that we did together here?"

"The ones where I wrote your dreams in?"

"Yeah," I sighed, ruffling into my bag as I searched for the new notes I have made and prepared them for him to look at. "I've been keeping new ones for the dreams I've been having recently. I just—" I handed them all to him and he looked into them carefully. "I want to compare them and try to figure out what happened to me."

Surprisingly, he seemed enthusiastic that I was bringing it up again instead of looking bothered about it. "I have everything with me back in my dorm room," he said, catching me by surprise. "I still go back to those notes sometimes and try to make sense of them."

"You do?"

Taehyung shrugged while I raised a questioning brow at him. "Yeah, I just—I wanted answers too, you know? I just wanted to know if there's a way for me to help you, just in case."

Looking into his eyes, I found his resolution settling there and all the underlying guilt of once again giving him trouble started to be replaced with hope. "Should we try to collect everything and line them up together? This weekend?"

"Sounds good," he said, nodding his head. But then his eyes fell on my hands, noticing me wringing my fingers together even though I had been doing it unconsciously. "Is there something else?"

"I, uh—" I stuttered for a moment. I couldn't possibly know how he would react if I had told him about the next thing I had in mind. Here goes nothing, I told myself with a deep breath. "I haven't been completely honest with you."

Taehyung furrowed his brows. "What are you talking about?"

Swallowing hard, I finally told him. "I met him," I started, while he looked confused, not knowing what I was talking about. That is, until I answered it for him before he could question me. "Jungkook."

The creases between his brows grew deeper for a moment before he blinked. And the confused look he gave me turned to wary. Before he could say anything, however, I continued talking first, explaining everything that had happened and all that I had yet to tell him through our contacts.

I started from how I met him, how Jungkook had coincidentally caught me at the pub — our pub, the special place which Taehyung had found for me, for us, in the hope of avoiding any chance of encountering Jungkook in this lifetime — then I told him about how I had encountered Jungkook while I was on the date with Jimin. Then I ended by telling him about what had happened less than a week ago, starting from our day in the library, our conversation, and the kiss, and how Jungkook had reacted to it even if he was the one making the move.

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you. I just—" I reached out to grab his hands when he grew silent, in fear that he was angry at me for keeping all of this from him. "I wanted to know. I just—I just had to make sure if he was the same person. Or if there's anything different."

"Is there any?" was the only thing he said after a while. "Anything different, I mean."

Shaking my head, I found nothing to answer him. Because our short encounters had given me nothing that may have hinted if he truly was the same person I was supposed to be avoiding. The only thing that made me believe that he truly was the same Jungkook only came in the form of the undecipherable feeling I had in my chest whenever I was anywhere near him, and the familiarity that I felt coming from him.

Then I added that the thing which worried me the most was the fact that ever since I met him, the dreams had started to come more often, much clearer, yet never in the direct order for me to understand any of them.

"It's complicated. That's why I need to go into those notes again."

"I see," he said, nodding his head. He looked down on our entwined hands with his lips pursed together. My chest clenched when I realised that I may have disappointed him by keeping this. But then, he raised his head to look at me. And instead of reprimanding me about it, he sighed and started to confess about his own secrets. "Well, since you're being honest with me. I guess I should too. I told you to stay away and you didn't do it. I understand why, so I'm not mad about it. But I hope you won't be mad at me if I didn't tell you the truth either."

"About what?"

As if fate had its own ways, I had my answers soon enough without him explaining too much. His eyes moved away from mine, looking over my shoulder as he pointed with his chin. "About him."

I opened my mouth to question him, only to have a deep voice cutting me off as it came from behind me.

"Hey, sorry. I forgot to give you this," a man said as he came to us, briefly noticing our entwined hands before he handed the book he was carrying to Taehyung. For some reason, listening to his voice brought something inside me. Fear, worries, and my heartbeat started to pound faster.

"Hey, yeah—thanks, man," Taehyung said to the tall, beefy man who was smiling warmly to him, while he only gave me a quick glance. I could only fall silent, dumbfounded and confused as I looked back and forth between the tall man and Taehyung, who had grown somewhat restless to his appearance.

Taehyung caught my eyes and started to introduce us, "Oh, uh—this is my best friend from childhood, _____," he said, letting my hand go so I could shake the man's hand. I looked into the man's eyes, finally recognising him through a vague memory I had in me before Taehyung added a short confirmation by saying, "This is our team leader. You know, for the volunteer work."

But it was not Taehyung's words that had me came close to clenching this man's strong hand in my smaller one in rage. It was his own words when he introduced himself to me, letting me know that he was none other than the devil himself while shaking my hand.

"Hi, Taehyung told me a lot about you. I'm Kim Namjoon, nice to finally meet you."

I wished I could say the same.