—First life. Jung Family's Residence, year 2027—

My father retreated in silence after our confrontation, hiding away in his solitude somewhere in the house. He had never even got to see me falling to the floor in pain after the encounter, or gave me a chance to explain about my condition. But I figured that should only happen another time. I had confronted him and told him everything I needed to say, and that was enough for one night.

Neither of us was the same by the end of the night. But Kara was strong enough to convince Hoseok and me to stay the night, knowing that my brother was not in the condition to drive us anywhere and I was in even worse condition and desperately needing to rest.

I found myself sitting inside my old bedroom when the night ended, resting on top of my old bed while staring out the window to watch the night sky that was void of stars. There were mixed of different emotions, too overwhelming to describe or to make sense of. So I only sat there in the dark, in silence, as I let everything sink in.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Hoseok's voice interrupted my thoughts as he entered the room without making any other sound. He sat next to me, staring at the same view I was so focused on to listen to me.

I gave him a pursed smile, hugging my folded knees as I helped him recall what had happened then. "How could I? You were too focused on what happened in the house when I had mostly been away, and you were Dad's number one supporter regarding to putting all the blame at me, having been listening to Dad all the time and had him convince you otherwise. You never gave me a chance and disowned me right away."

He sighed. "I never meant anything I said."

"Whether it was meant to be voiced out loud or not, it still broke me," I told him. "You were the one I trusted most, Hoseok. And even you didn't give me a chance to explain what I was going through, or even convince me to stay."

We turned to look at each other at the same time, exchanging remorseful glances as our silent apologies. He gave me a pursed smile as he put his arm around me, pulling me close to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "I was devastated when you left. I shouldn't have said all those things. I was blindsided, to say the least, when I first heard you mentioned about helping Jungkook and wanting to give him another chance, I just—It was the look on Mom and Dad's face that made me disappointed at your choice. And you were never here when Mom got sick, and all I heard was Dad's words against you. I should've given you the benefit of a doubt, or try to reach out so I could understand what you were going through. You must have felt lost and confused."

"And alone," I finished his sentence, earning a soft scowl coming from him before he released a bitter sigh. "I felt so alone. I had no one to run to, or to talk to about all the things that happened to me at once. With all the blame being put straight at me, it left me no choice but to run back to Jungkook in the end. Because he was the only one who wanted me, the only one who would listen to me and gave me a chance to be loved. He was there with his arms wide open to welcome me and promised me love when I decided to go back to him."

He clicked his tongue, sighing gently while rubbing his hand on my arm. "At least tonight I finally know the reason why you hated Kara. You seemed so hurt when you found out that they were getting married. I actually thought you were just being childish of not wanting her to replace Mom."

"What do you mean, "thought about it"? You said it right to my face!" I scowled at him. "It still hurts."

"I'm sorry," he said with a bitter chuckle.

"I was hurt. When I found out Dad was having an affair, I was angry at him, but at when I found out that it was Kara—" I nibbled on my lips as I remembered who she was before everything unfolded. "I trusted Kara. We used to go on picnics with her and Mom. She used to take me to practices and pick me up at school whenever Mom and Dad were not around. She was the one I relied to when I needed someone. She had always been a close friend to Mom and every one of us, so when she and Dad became—" I stopped, unable to continue when I had to imagine what I felt back then. All the betrayal still felt real to my heart. "I felt betrayed and I hated everyone for hurting me."

We continued to open up to one another. Exchanging the years that we lost, all the misunderstandings that I had never had a chance to clear up even after I had moved in with him, since we were so focused on finding the cure to my illness and the solution to my failing marriage. Somehow, in the middle of our long chat, we ended up lying on the small bed side by side, halfway falling asleep before another thought came to me.

"You know what I've been doing all these years, before you showed up in front of me?"

Hoseok held back a yawn to answer me. "What is it?"

"Every night, I would have this dream. Of myself falling to the dark. I can never really see or remember what happens in that dream except for the endless falling. But the moment I wake up, I will always remember the accident, and every single hardship and all the pain I have felt for years, and how lonely my life has been. It makes me feel constantly tired of having to get through another day of my life, so tired that sometimes I find myself crying alone in the bathroom when Jungkook was away and tell myself, 'I don't want this anymore'."

I stopped when I felt my brother shifted on the bed, trying to look at my face while I kept my eyes staring at the dark ceiling. "Every night before I go to sleep, I always cry to myself, wishing. If only this life is just a dream. If only the moment I wake up, I will find myself back on this damn old bed, tired from a long dream and would be rushing to school, with Mom making breakfast at the kitchen and Dad yelling at me to make haste so I could ride with him. I have had the same thought for so long that it started to somehow turned into prayers rather than random imaginations before bed."

Hoseok said nothing, and I looked at him with a chuckle. "Seems pretty impossible, isn't it?"

He only smiled. "You're not alone now. You have me."

"I know," I answered him as I lied my head back onto the pillow, and my thoughts ran through another notion in my mind. "What if it was my fault all along? You know—why my marriage with Jungkook failed. Why he did all those things and hurt me. I could never talk about my feelings, my thoughts. I always so afraid that he would react just like Dad if I had ever shown him what I was thinking, what I felt. What if that was the real reason why he turned his back on me? Because I kept seeing Dad's shadow on him and when I couldn't give him children to make it up to him—"

"No, don't say that," he scowled at me while messing up my tousled hair. "Even if you have been traumatised by how Dad was, Jungkook made a promise to you. Don't blame yourself if he failed to keep his promise. Even if you did shy away from him because of all the terrible memories, he could've shown you that he was a different man compared to Dad. He knew what you were going through, unlike me." He stopped for a while, giving me time to think. "I'm not him, and I can't defend him or say anything about it. Just—believe that what had happened was not your fault. The whole situation between both of you had been fucked up from the beginning and soon, after everything between you and Jungkook is solved, you will have a chance to have a better one. A new beginning."

I only sighed, somewhat relieved, although I was still completely unsure. "I hope you're right."

"It must be hard to let him go. You have fought for your marriage for long enough, it's time to find someone who would fight for you," he gently spoke to me.

"What do you mean?" I looked up to stare at him, only able to see the side of his face since he was staring straight at the ceiling. He didn't say anything, but a name came into my mind. "You mean—Jimin?"

He only shrugged. "Well, I was talking about me, but—" he grinned, chuckling as I laughed with him. "I mean—Maybe? It could be him, or someone else you'll find in the future. Just take it slow this time, alright? You and Jimin are also going through some tough times right now, but you can support each other, at least."

I looked away, closing my eyes to imagine his face. And almost immediately, my chest was filled with warmth. Because that was how he felt to me, how I felt whenever I was with him.

Warm.

One of the reasons why I had given Jungkook so many chances, so much forgiveness, was because I had always believed in second chances. And right that moment, I felt that Jimin could be a part my second chance.

Maybe. If I ever deserved any.

The thought had me smiling in peace, until I fell asleep with the hope of meeting him again soon. That night, despite everything that had happened, despite all the drama that unfolded throughout the night, I found something inside me that I have never felt for so long.

Hope.

—Present life, year 2017—

It came to me so suddenly.

I woke up one morning after having another one of my long dream with the dreadful feeling of guilt, loss, and despair. And I suddenly had the urge to just do something about it.

The dream came to me as though the empty pages in my memories were filled with scraps of pictures, details, and every single thing I needed to know. After taking the time to compile all the pieces together, I came running to Taehyung's dorm, desperately begging him to drive me home.

Home. To see my Mother.

It would be risky. For what I was about to do seemed irrational even as I planned it in my head. Scrap that. There was no plan at all. It was completely rash and reckless that even Taehyung refused to it at first, until I explained everything, told him every single detail, every part of the dream that came to me so abruptly to remind me of my previous life, followed with a plea—

"I'm not the only one who deserves a second chance."

Leading the both of us to where we were at the moment, racing with his car heading straight to my house, to our hometown which was located a few hours away from where we lived.

So, here was the problem—I knew what happened to my mother. I remembered everything since the first day I woke up in this period of time. And it was the one thing I thought about most as I tried to figure out what happened to me, why my timeline was somehow reeled back and how I was sent to repeat everything I have gone through all over again. But the memories were scrapped, cluttered, with tiny bits of pieces missing from my mind. Although at one point I knew it would still happen, as I kept finding things changing, I could never figure out how I would change this one part of my life.

You see, some time in the span of the next two years, we were to figure out that my mother was ill. She would undergo an operation to cure it, only to find out that it was too late, that her illness was already spread even after knowing that the operation was a success.

All because we found out about everything much too late, and all because nobody knew it was coming.

And now this fact has changed. I knew about it. I knew everything and knew what was about to happen. And I knew how to change the outcome.

But how do I do it? How do I explain to her that I know what is coming without letting her now my circumstances? She wouldn't believe me. Hell, I still couldn't believe myself whenever I was constantly reminded that I had somehow leapt through time, that my timeline had spun back for me to have a second chance. Even though I had no idea what kind of chances I was supposed to have.

I kept looking out the car window as my mind wandered, trying to make sense of everything and figure out our next step while Taehyung focused on driving. We left before we even decided what to do, without taking our time to figure things out first. Too reckless, I know. But I was too impatient to wait, and know I could not decide what we were supposed to tell her once we got there. What was I supposed to do next—

"Or perhaps I should just tell her," I said to no one, thinking about it out loud.

"What?" Taehyung asked me in shock, before he slowly pulled over, stopping the car to park it at the side of the road before turning to face me, "Wait—What the hell do you mean?"

I started to regret that I even thought about it. But it seemed like the only reasonable thing to do when nothing else seemed to make sense. So I turned to face him, gnawing on my lips for a while before I voiced out the one thing I was contemplating silently during our drive. "Maybe I should just tell her what happened to me."

He shook his head. "No, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Do you have a better idea, then?"

He glanced forward as he tried to think of a possible solution, taking his time to find an answer, only to give up in the end. "My head is running on empty," he said after a further silence, shaking his head with his palm covering his face. He released a groan as he pulled his hands away. "What are we even doing? We should've taken some more time to figure this out, instead of just running there like this."

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I just—I'm scared, okay? What if after all of this, we're still too late and I still can't save her?"

He stared at me with furrowed brows, scowling at me, "What are you talking about?"

Gnawing at my lips again, I took a deep breath before speaking up. "After all this time, I still can't really figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be saving. And right now, one of the things I know what to fix is this," I told him while I convinced myself that this was a right thing to do, even if I was not completely sure about it as we took off on this sudden trip earlier in such haste. "If I can save her, then I will know that I am doing something right. That I am here for a purpose, not just for myself but for everyone else that was once hurt because of my wrong decisions. Or if I was supposed to—I don't know how to describe it, but you know what I mean."

Taehyung nodded his head briefly. "It's just—this is risky. We don't know what would happen."

"I know. I mean, we might not know anything until we get there."

"And this is extremely reckless," he said, looking at me sideways.

"Yeah—" I let out a sigh, smiling bitterly. "I guess no matter how many lifetimes I go through, there will always one thing I can't change."

He scoffed. "Good thing you have me to cover your ass."

A grin appeared on my face unforgivingly. "Yeah, I'm truly glad for having you."

He fell silent again for a moment, taking a deep breath as he put his hands back on the wheel. "Okay, tell you what—We'll just go see her, see what happens and try to get her to listen to you and make sure she'll agree to get her health checked somehow. And when all fails, then you can go and tell her your secrets."

Worries came to me suddenly as the thought of myself having the talk with my mother about my predicament came to my mind, even though I was the one who brought it up earlier. Never in my imagination that it would even be an option. But neither was talking to my mother about her future.

"I guess I have no other choice than to agree to that now, do I?"

We arrived at my house around an hour later, taking our time in the drive to plan out everything before finally facing my mother. Yes, actually making a plan albeit being it a bit too late to do.

I entered the house as we arrived, immediately pacing towards the kitchen while calling for her.

"In here," she answered me, the scent of her cooking was the one that led me into finding her, right at the usual spot she had always spent most of her day whenever she was not working on her art. Yet right when I found her, she was not standing in front of her cooking as she would usually do. Instead, she was leaning on the kitchen counter, with one of her hands pressed on her chest that was heaving for air.

Oh no, it can't be happening already.

"Mom," I rushed towards her, helping her to walk over to the nearest chair while Taehyung rushed to the stove to make sure that her cooking was secured. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she chuckled, trying to cover up how she was breathing heavily as she leaned back in the seat. A frown showed up on her face as she looked at me. "What are you two doing here? It's the middle of the week, don't you have schedules?" she glanced back and forth between me and Taehyung—who was keeping himself busy saving the meal to give me a chance to talk to my mother—before asking me again, "Why didn't you tell me that you were coming home? I could've cooked something extra for you two."

"Mom, please—are you feeling pain? Is it in your chest?" I asked her, trying my best to get her to focus and to allow myself to understand. Was it already happening? Was it supposed to be this early? Was that how far late we were then?

"What?" she chuckled, waving her hand at me as she answered, "Oh, it's fine, really. Yes, I get this a lot. Sometimes when I'm tired then I'd get some problems breathing. But it always goes away after a nap."

"A lot? How often do you get this? Since when?"

She raised her eyebrows as she looked at me. "Where is this coming from?" she laughed, her breathing evidently seemed so heavy, despite the fact that she was getting much better compared to earlier when we found her. Even the colours on her skin had returned after seeming so pale before. "I don't know, a week? Two weeks?" she stopped briefly as she seriously contemplating with her eye flickering and said, "or has it been a month? You know, I think I did get a chest pain when I went on a picnic with Kara during summer at—"

"Mom, are you serious?" the words just slipped right through me before I could even register it happening, too surprised to the fact that she actually ignored her own health for that damn long. Even she too turned at me with wide eyes. She opened her mouth to protest, only to be cut off by Taehyung who came to hand her a glass of water, insisting that she should drink to get herself calmed after her troubled breathing while glaring at me for accidentally lashing out.

I took a moment to inhale a deep breath while I let my mother drink her water, and Taehyung came to sit with us at the dining table to join our chat. He kept his eyes on my Mom for a while, before staring at me with his brows lifted, waiting for me to say something. With a long content sigh, I tried to talk again, more calmly this time.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm just worried. I'm not around that much and now I come home to find out that you're sick—"

"I am perfectly fine," she insisted, slapping her palms on her lap as she refused to give up too easily to her worried child. "I'll just sleep it off and it will be better soon. I promise. It always does."

Always? I tried my best to not voice out my worries, although I was so close to crying out. I hate the fact that my mother had always kept everything to herself. Her worries, her pain, not being able to find anyone to talk to. But then again, I guess now I could figure out where I had gotten that little flaw from. "Have you ever tried to get yourself checked? To see what's wrong with you?"

"No." She shook her head as she lowered her glass after taking a few gulps of her drink. "Like I said, it comes and goes so fast, and it gets better after I nap or take some pills to get it over with. Maybe I'm dehydrated. Look, I'm doing okay after getting some drink—" she turned to Taehyung to briefly thank him, before continuing, "—or maybe cause I'm getting lack of sleep lately. You know, I have been working on this painting, and—"

"Have you ever done it yourself? You know, like touching your breasts to see if you would find anything weird or something like that?"

My mother's eyes widened. "Are you really going to talk about me touching my breasts while Taehyung is here?"

"I don't mind," Taehyung answered instantly while shrugging, immediately tightening his lips when my mother glared at him.

There was nothing else I could say after. I had to bring it up without telling her too much, but that was a start. I knew now that she had no idea what she was going through, while I finally found out that things may have already started this early. No wonder everything we did to save her then ended up failing. No wonder her condition became much worse so fast and everything advanced so quickly until the day we lost her.

I looked over across the dining table and my eyes instantly met Taehyung's gaze. His eyes seemed so worried, probably just as much as I did, and he visibly sighed at me. I tried to think of any reason for not giving out my secrets to my mother, and I tried my best to find the perfect way of making her listen to me. We decided a few different options on our way here, but we had never expected to find her like this, and I was desperate. We could not be late. Not this time.

And this time, it was my mind that was running on empty. I was out of ideas. Until—

"Mom—"