—Present life. Blue Smoker's Pub, New Year's Eve, year 2016—

[08.33 PM] From Jimin: I'm sorry but there's an emergency, I think I'm going to be late. Will it be okay to wait a little while?

We had agreed to meet at the pub which I had been going to. Jimin had wanted to see all the places I had been hanging out with my friends or with Taehyung at, and this was the only place I have never taken him along with. I had my reasons for not doing so, but I really could not pick a different place for tonight. After finding out that the frat houses were going to have their own private parties, I decided that coming here tonight would be a pretty good idea.

Because that would only mean that he may not be here tonight.

That was until I got there, alone and a bit early, to find the place nearly packed for the event that was about to start. I looked around through the crowds, seeing the stage being prepared at the corner of my eyes as I walked over to the bar. The bartender gave me a quick smile when he saw me, asking me with a nod, "The usual?"

"Yes, please," I answered, chuckling. One of the many things I still loved about this place was that everyone had become so familiar with each other that it made me feel safe to sit there on my own. I had never felt worried about strangers coming up to my space since Max, the bartender, would be ready to kick their ass if they ever tried to.

He stayed with me whenever he was not too preoccupied with his patrons so we could talk, just so I would not feel as lonely as I waited. Something I was deeply grateful for, because it stopped me from looking around at the crowd. He did eventually start getting busier as people kept coming in, leaving me with my own thoughts and my drink at the corner of that bar. Everything was going on well for a while, until—

"Is this seat taken?"

There was no need to look over to see who it was. His voice alone ignited all the feelings I had never felt before, and I had heard his voice whispering to me in my dreams all the kind of things I never wanted to relive again.

Jungkook.

Cold shivers started running down my spine since I certainly was not expecting him to be there. I was reluctant to turn around to respond to him, having a part of me screaming for me to ignore. But there was a part of me that had been wanting to see him again, something that felt a lot stronger that I could not stop myself from turning to look over my shoulders. With a long deep breath, I pushed away the grimace on my face as look at him, forcing a smile as I did so.

"I'm with someone." I tried to keep my breath and my voice steady as I answered him, hoping to keep our good distance as much as I could.

"Oh yeah?" He leaned onto the bar counter with a smirk, before he made an exaggerated move of glancing around the room until his eyes landed back on me. "I don't see anyone. I've been watching you for a while and you've been alone for quite some time."

Quirking my eyebrows, I suddenly felt more brazen and let my words slip out before I realised it. "Have you been stalking me?"

"Me? Of course not. I was just keeping my eyes on you. I saw you coming alone and I was worried that someone might bother you or something." He took a swig of his beer and licked his lips. "Are you only lying to me just to scare me away?"

"I'm not lying," I scoffed at him, turning my body to look away. "He's just late, that's all."

He only hummed, showing me a sly smirk to taunt me. "Well, he better be here soon before I snatch you away."

Taking my drink in my hand, I challenged him with a grin. "What makes you so sure I would go with you? Don't you ever think that I'd rather go home instead if he's not coming?"

His eyes darkened as he leaned in, confidently challenging me with his own wits. "If you really are uninterested, you could've just ignored me or walk away when I started talking to you."

I could only bite my lips. He was right, and I was supposed to walk away the minute I heard his voice. Or better yet, I should have never even come back here in the first place after the day we met each other.

"Don't worry, I'm not a complete asshole. I'll just stay here to keep you company until he comes. What do you say? Wouldn't it be much better than leaving you alone and let random strangers make a move on you?" he suddenly changed his tone of voice, sounding more soft and genuine as he continued, "He wouldn't mind if I'm here for a little friendly talk, would he? I'm completely harmless, I promise."

Should I let him stay? Should I give him a chance to speak and for me to know this Jungkook who is sitting in front of me?

"Fine. You can stay."

His smile widened, and he swiftly took the empty seat next to me, before lifting his hand to request for a refill on both our drinks. Max was quick to see him, and soon we were both sitting there with fresh drinks.

"So, how have you been? I've been wondering why I haven't seen you here after that night we met."

"I've been busy," I quickly answered him, unintentionally sounding a bit harsh that I flinched. I softened the tone of my voice as I recovered. "You're only saying that to flatter me, aren't you? I mean—Do you even remember my name?"

He merely smiled without even once looking away. His vague smile and face expression looked a bit sullen as he spoke, "Of course, I remember—" he said. "______. How could I forget about you?"

The deep gaze he was giving me made me want to look away, feeling completely unsettled with him being there and so close to me. There was something inside me that made me feel as if he was reading me. As if he knew what I was thinking about just by looking.

"Are you playing tonight?" I nodded at the stage to divert his attention away from me and hide my uneasiness.

He turned to follow my gaze, sighing briefly yet never letting his smile to falter. "Yeah, I am," he answered while glancing back at me. "You're going to be staying for my performance, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes and said nothing, and opted to give him another question to answer my deep curiosity instead. "Do you really like playing music?

He shrugged, taking a swig at his beer while his eyes scanned around the pub. "Yeah, you can say that. I used to love it so much, but then it became more of a hobby."

"What made you start playing, then? I mean, performing like you do in a place like this?" I looked away when he turned his gaze back at me, looking somewhat surprised that I seemed interested about what he loved doing. The look in his eyes made me even more flustered that I quickly said, "You don't have to answer. I'm just curious because you don't seem like someone who would do music for money."

"I don't know, actually—" his voice trailed, and his gaze suddenly changed. As if he had his thoughts wandering somewhere else but here. "It's not that I'm doing it for money. I think I'm just looking for some concrete reason so I could play music, you know?"

"Why here?"

He grinned. "Because there are not that many students from my campus that come up here, making me feel invisible. Except for you, maybe. You go to the same campus as mine, don't you? I think I've seen you around before."

He has?

"No, you haven't. I barely leave my dorm room unless it's for classes or to go to the library. You don't have to lie to flatter me," I scoffed, turning my gaze back to my drinks.

He chuckled as he gazed away at the stage to watch the first performer setting up their instruments, getting ready for their turn. "Why do you come here so often?" he asked me, breaking the silence between us. "This place doesn't attract most college kids that I know of. I thought you'd be someone who enjoys crashing at parties and stuff rather than drinking at this kind of place."

The question took me by surprise, so I hid my face by taking a quick swig from my glass and took a moment before answering. I mean, what was I supposed to say to him? That I had been coming here only to avoid seeing him around campus?

Now, that would be an interesting topic to talk about.

"College life is too hectic for me. I'm always drowned in assignments and studying and I don't get interested in any of the parties that are constantly held on campus, or by the frat houses. My best friend took me here as an alternative so I would leave my room and actually enjoy living," I said, forcing out an awkward chuckle. "Why aren't you crashing college parties? You seem more like someone who would fit in at frat houses and their parties, honestly."

He released a timid laugh, tilting his head back to throw a quick glance over the ceiling. "I used to crash parties, going to them or even making some wild ones with my friends, until I've grown tired of them. I always feel like there's something missing, like I'm supposed to have more. But I couldn't point a finger on what it is for some reason, or where to find it."

Don't do this, I begged to myself when I could feel my chest being pinched with guilt. I tried to push them away, gnawing at my lips before I asked him, "So you choose to play music to fill the void?"

He closed his eyes. It only showed for a split second right before his eyelids managed to hide them away from me, but I managed to see it. The glint of sadness emitting from his gaze. Yet it disappeared when he opened those beautiful eyes again to look over to me. "How do you know?" he asked me with a voice that sounded so lonely and sad, albeit how good he had succeeded to hide the emotions from his eyes.

"I just—" I stammered, "—a wild hunch, I guess."

He scoffed, not letting his gaze to wander away from me. "Hmmm—I almost thought you might be able to read my mind there. Or perhaps that you've known me for a long time to understand."

"Would you like it if I could? Read your mind, I mean," I chuckled, suddenly feeling a bit relieved when I heard his wits starting to come back, deciding to ignore his last conviction of me.

"For you to read what's inside of my head?" he leaned closer, showing the sly smirk of his which was somehow starting to appear so familiar to my eyes. "I wouldn't mind at all. I'd let you read me like an open book anytime you want."

Feeling completely flustered and slowly turning into a massive nerve-ending under his gaze, I scoffed and looked away. "Stop flirting with me, Jungkook. You know why I'm here," I scowled at him, reminding him about my date. But as I turned to look at him once again once he never responded with his jokes like I had expected him to, I found him staring closely at me. He never bothered to hide the sadness in his eyes this time as our gazes met.

"I love it when you say my name."

Something inside of me shattered to pieces at that very moment, right when I heard him speak. I could feel my breath being caught in my throat and my heart breaking in my chest that I almost lost every barrier I had. That I was so close to reaching out to him.

"Jungkook—" my voice trailed, his name slipping out of my lips almost instantly. But at the same time, my body froze when I felt him.

I could feel him being there, standing somewhere in that place. And it was confirmed the minute I slowly looked away from Jungkook's face only to see Jimin standing right across the dance floor. He was there among the crowd, having both of his eyes locked on the man sitting next to me. Even if I could not get a clear view of him from the distance, I could still faintly see the expression he was giving. He seemed impassive, unreadable, yet his eyes were sharp as they were set straight at my companion.

"—but I would really love it if you'd stay to watch me," Jungkook's voice as he kept speaking seemed so far even when he was still there, leaning so close that I could feel his body warmth at my side.

I turned to look at Jungkook to notify him about my date. And the minute he saw the look in my eyes, he just stopped speaking immediately before his eyes trailed over my shoulder. "I see your date is here."

I followed his gaze to finally notice that Jimin was already standing there on my side. His face has not changed a bit when I saw him at first. But within a split second, the cold stare he had in his eyes turned warm.

"I'm sorry for being late," Jimin said, forcing a smile at both us—at Jungkook, to be exact, as he still had his eyes on him even when he was talking to me. "Who's your friend?"

The dim light of the pub was unable to hide Jungkook's clenched jaw that was visible to my eyes mere seconds before he introduced himself to Jimin, mirroring the same pursed smile. "I'm Jungkook."

Jimin nodded his head, his lips curling into a smirk. "I'm Jimin. Thank you for staying with my date and keeping her company while she was waiting for me."

"No problem," Jungkook answered him with a sarcastic scoff. His eyes were glaring with anger at Jimin, and he diverted his gaze away while hopping off from the stool bar. "Now that you're here, I better go and prepare for my performance. It's nice to finally see you again, _____," he said to me, softening his gaze briefly before coldly nodding at Jimin right as he was walking away.

The both of us fell into silence for a while, as we still had our eyes following Jungkook's back before he disappeared within the crowd. I waited for Jimin to speak first. But when he was still lost in his trailing thoughts and still had his eyes looking away from me, I grazed my fingers on his arm to grab his attention. A sigh came out of him before he turned to me, but he was completely calm and relaxed when he finally spoke, "Forgive me. Apparently, it has been a custom for me to always coming late when it comes to you."

There was guilt in my chest. Something in his words pulled a string inside my heart that I instinctively move forward to wrap my arms around his neck.

"I'm just glad you're here now," I told him, before kissing his cheek ever so gently. The moment I felt his warmth, and as our skin touched each other, I felt instantly enlightened. It was impossible to explain it with words, but he made me feel a lot better in every way possible. Every agitation I had felt dissipated and I instantly felt peaceful.

Jimin put his hands around my waist and held me close with his forehead resting on mine. His warm smile appeared on his face after he released another soft sigh. "I'm also glad you're here."

We stayed at the pub for another drink, talking to each other to pass the time with the music behind us as our company.

Time passed by, and the pub suddenly became packed in no time. Jimin took me to the dance floor as the second stage performer started playing, for the music was quite enjoyable and the drinks had made us both feel warm and more at ease. We went back to the bar after the quick dance, opting to rest on our seats with a lighter drink and a short conversation. And before I knew it, I was completely lost in his presence that my previous encounter with Jungkook just vanished from my mind.

Until I heard his voice.

I have not been paying much attention to the music or the musicians that had been playing on stage after coming back from the dance earlier. But the moment I heard him sing alongside the soft strum of his guitar, I could not stop myself from turning around to see him. My eyes and my body moved on their own accord, his voice became the charm that called for me.

Time seemed to stop as my eyes fell on him, seeing him up on the stage as he was playing his song. His voice resonated in the whole pub as if the voices from the crowds and the whole party was drowned in his presence. I was so lost in his performance, completely mesmerised like never before, until he lifted his eyes to look straight towards me.

He kept his eyes on me as he sang. Our gazes locked on each other that I felt like we were the only two people in the whole area. But then everything snapped the moment he sent me a smirk, and I was suddenly enveloped with the sounds of people chattering around me like it did before.

Jimin's fingers wrapped themselves around my wrist as I kept my eyes towards the stage, pulling my attention back to him. "Let's get out of here," he asked me with a smile, which I returned with my own—one that was filled with relieved.

"Yes, of course. We should go before the time comes."

I stood by him as he took his time to pay up for our drinks, before he then walked up to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. As I followed his lead to walk out of the pub, I managed to look over my shoulder one last time, giving my eyes a chance to find the man that was still singing on the stage with his guitar.

His eyes were on me as he kept playing his song. Yet the mischievous glint that he was showing me before was no longer there as our gazes met, as he was now staring at me with a look filled with pain and sadness while his voice somehow sounded so far and lonely.

—First life. Jungkook's bedroom, year 2018—

The rain had been falling for hours.

All I could see as I gazed out through the window was white pouring rain as thick as white curtains, covering the sight that I would usually enjoy seeing on clearer days. Yet despite the cold and the loud thunders, the sound of the falling rain became a soothing music as I sat on the warm bed, accompanied by the soft strum of guitar playing by my side.

I looked over to see Jungkook at the other end of the bed, sitting with his back resting on the wall and staring straight in front of him. He had his acoustic guitar on his lap and his fingers dancing over the strings so expertly. His voice was faintly heard as he sang his own song in soft hums, but it was not the reason why my face was filled with a fond smile. It was the way his eyes lighted up and the way his face was filled with content. This was the look he would always have when he played music. The look which he would only show to me, when he sang for me and to no one else.

I leaned back on the wall behind me, half-facing him as I watched him calmly playing his music. "Have you ever thought about it? Playing music more seriously—or just, I don't know, show your music to other people?"

He scoffed, keeping his eyes looking forward as he chuckled. "No, not really," he hummed, continuing the strums of his guitar before he sighed. "I don't think I've ever told you this—" he stopped and smirked, chuckling as he let his thoughts to wander for a moment, "—ever since I was much younger, I have always wanted to focus on music. I think I even planned to major in Music once."

"What?" I stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Then, what made you change your mind?"

He pondered for a moment, closing his eyes while hitting that high note with ease before ending it with a soft chuckle. "My family didn't believe that I would be able to make it in life only by doing music. So I did what they asked me to, to study law and prepare myself for corporate life in the future—" he turned to glance at me, his eyes showing a glint of longing and defeat, "—so here I am now."

We sat there not his bed, side by side and exchanging our gazes with knowing looks between us, while his fingers were still strumming his guitar a bit more languidly. "I'm not complaining, though."

"And why is that?" I asked him, "I thought you'd miss it a lot, or still curious at least."

He shrugged, the sly smirk on his face never wavering as he spoke, "Why would I? When the choices I have made led me to find the best things in life? I have good grades in my study and a promising career in the future, I managed to meet amazing people and friends as my second family—" his eyes softened as he gazed at me, "—and I met you."

I bit my lips, holding back the tears that were so close to falling from the way my heart fluttered at his words. "What if you didn't take your current major? Or—What if I didn't come to the frat party?" I reluctantly asked him, as I imagined if either of us had made different choices in the past. "What if we have never met? Would you still be so grateful for it?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, I'm pretty sure I'd find a way to you eventually. I know I would, because there is no way I could pass on any chances of having you in my life. Ever."

There was silence for a moment, and we sat there still without looking away from each other. The thought of not living a life without him seemed implausible in my head at the time, and by how he was staring at me, I knew he might just be thinking the same thing.

"I love you."

My voice came out as a soft whisper. The words slipping out of me so naturally. My eyes gleamed with the tears that had built up over the overwhelming warmth I had in my heart. It was everything I felt for him, spoken through words, and I could feel myself being enveloped with that feeling entirely that I could barely form any other words to speak out to him.

Jungkook stopped moving for a brief moment, before he put his guitar away and shuffled on the bed. I sat still as he crawled over to me. And moments later, I was lying on the bed with him on top of me. He rested one elbow on the bed to hold himself up, while cupping my cheek with the other, tilting my head and held me gently as he leaned down to devour my lips in a deep kiss. My arms instantly moved around his neck, keeping him close as I let myself lost in his kiss, his hand trailed down on my body before he pulled me close in a tight embrace.

"I love you," he whispered between short breaths once he pulled away, yet keeping his nose nuzzling onto mine and his lips still ghosting at the corner of my lips. "I will always love you. And I will always find my way to you no matter how far we stray away from each other. Always."