—Present life. _____'s dormitory, year 2016—

"Alright, I'll be there in one."

I was reading my book and lying on my own bed when my roommate, Jisoo, came in while talking on the phone. She had a frown on her face and occasional sighs came out from her lips as she listened to whoever was speaking to her from across the line. "Alright, alright—I'm coming. I'm still at the dorms, and I'll pick you up the minute you get here, okay?"

"Who was that?" I asked her once she had cut off the call and threw the phone onto her bed with a groan.

"My cousin. He's coming back after seeing his family for the weekend, and he was fussing about almost missing the train and blaming me for it. But then again, I did ask him to drop by to grab some things at my grandmother's house for me. Didn't really think he would do that for me, actually," she grinned as she told me. "So in return for his troubles, I have to pick him up at the station in an hour."

"He sounds nice," I chuckled.

"Oh, he is," she only laughed with me. "Well, he is a really great guy, actually. He's been like a brother to me so I guess it makes it easier for him to fuss and complain about them to me when he can't do it with anyone else."

"Are you really that close? Aww—that's so cute—" I cooed to taunt her, earning a flying pillow to land on my face as her response.

"Don't you dare think of anything. He is a brother to me. And I'm dating someone already. He means to me just the same as Taehyung to you."

"Hey, I'm just kidding," I chuckled, throwing her pillow back. "Where is he coming back from?"

She was coughing from having the pillow landed on her nose when she answered. "Busan. He was supposed to come back in another two days since he has no classes until then. But then he suddenly called, telling me that he is meeting someone for a date—or something—tomorrow, and he started to make a fuss about coming back early."

I raised my eyebrow. Interesting. "Really? What's his name? Your cousin."

"Jimin. He majors in Music," she said while stretching her body on the bed. While at the same time, I froze on my seat.

"Jimin? As in, Park Jimin?"

She looked up at me with wide eyes. "How do you know him?"

"Is the place he is going for this—um, 'date' called Coffee Town, by any chance?" I cupped my own cheeks to cover the possible blush of heat that was creeping on my face when a huge grin appeared on hers.

She jumped off from her bed and squealed. "No freaking way!" I raised my hands to stop her as she ran to me and held my arms to shake me. "No freaking way! You're the one he is seeing?"

"Ow—yeah, it seems like it." I cringed at how tight she was holding me, and she immediately let me go once she noticed.

"I can't believe you're dating my cousin!"

"Okay, it's nothing official, alright? We only arranged to meet up and grab some coffee together." I shrugged, while she only grinned and said, "Sure it is," sounding awfully sarcastic, with a scrunched nose on her face.

We fell into a giggling fit at the dawning realization for a minute before lying down on my bed, the two of us sharing the small space side by side, staring at the ceiling in awe. She lifted her body to lie on her side and look at me. "I'm actually glad that it's you who he is meeting up with. From the way he talks about his upcoming date and the person he is seeing, he seems to be so fond of you. And it's good to see him that way."

"Really? Why?"

She sighed. "He seems so lost for so long. It's amazing that he can look so interested in getting to know someone or doing something with another person." She fell silent for a moment, looking as if she was contemplating about whatever she was about to say. But then she continued anyway, "He's been through a lot since he was so young. So I guess that's why he shuts himself from everyone. He has problems in getting close to anyone for so many years. He even refuses to date girls and chooses to focus on dancing and studying music more than anything."

Her words got me curious. "What happened?"

She looked at me for a moment with her lips nibbled between her teeth. "Can you not let him know that I am telling you this? It's pretty personal and he kind of asked me not to tell anyone other than our close relatives or friends. But you are seeing him, so I think you deserve to know." I nodded to let her continue.

"He went through the same thing you did. He got cancer when he was much younger."

"He did not have cancer when he was younger."

I paced around on the sidewalk, with my phone clutched in my hand and pressed so tight onto my ear, gritting my teeth nervously as I spoke to Taehyung who was listening on the other line. I had excused myself to run out of the dorm, not only the room but the whole building, after the talk I had with Jisoo. Everything else she said after she mentioned about Jimin's past became a blur and I rushed out once she left the bed to get ready to leave.

"What are you talking about? You said you don't remember much about him?"

"I don't. But I remember most of the things he told me, and I'm pretty sure that he told me he only started battling cancer just before he met me," I whined while I continued pacing back and forth in front of the dorm's main entrance. My free arm was wrapped around my torso to calm my heartbeat.

Yes, I may not remember much of Jimin from my past life, only vaguely remembered his crescent-like eye smile and his voice, and the way he made me feel whenever I was so close to him. But I remembered most of our chats. "You don't understand, the one thing we had in common was that our illness was caused by the same reason. He told me that he was a healthy child, the cancer didn't come until—It wasn't supposed to happen until later."

"______, breathe. Okay, I'm going to check on our notes later, but are you really sure? What are you worrying about, exactly?"

Right. What am I worrying about?

"What if it's the wrong Jimin? What if he's just a different person? What if—"

"What if he is completely the same person that you've met before?"

I stopped. "What?"

"Okay, I don't really know what I'm saying, and it might sound crazy. But, we never figured out why you are here. So, what if this Jimin also came from the same place you came from? And he started his journey the same way you did?"

My body started shaking. This can not be real. "Taehyung, I'm scared."

"I know you are. I can only imagine." I could hear him sigh on the other line. "Either he is the same Jimin you are looking for or if he is not, he might only be the one holding the answer. Or not. Just meet him tomorrow and find out."

"What should I say to him?"

"Just talk to him, get to know him. You don't have to rush things, especially when we're still not sure," he said calmly. "Just carry on with the date, and find out a bit more about his past from himself. Even if he's not—"

"Even if he's not who we're looking for, it will still be okay," I finished his sentence and took a deep breath, reassuring myself and Taehyung while calming myself down. As I thought about it again, I almost instantly forgot why I was freaking out for.

"That's right. Everything is going to be okay. I'll always be here for you."

I nodded, even if he couldn't see me. "I know."

—First life. St. Vincent's Hospital, year 2026—

I came back after nearly a month for my ongoing treatment.

Hoseok was by my side as I was strolled into my bedroom on a wheelchair. We went straight to have various health checks and blood tests the minute I got back into the hospital, just to keep up with the progress I had made while I was away. And Hoseok stayed with me the whole time.

"Everything is going to be okay, it seems," he said while helping me set myself up on the bed. He had insisted to be the one helping me and took over the nurse's duty since he was going to be out of town the day ended. No one would be allowed to stay with me while I was undergoing treatments anyway.

Well, actually it was me who had purposely requested for everyone not to stay with me. I would hate it if I became a burden to anyone. Besides, I already had a companion who had helped me feel less lonely.

Jimin. Mochi.

He was constantly in my mind while I was away from the hospital. Sometimes, he would appear in my dreams when I rest at night, or when I had my occasional fevers. The thought of him calmed me. And there were times when I regretted that we had never exchanged contacts before I left so we couldn't arrange to meet or talk outside the hospital.

But then again, I was also still an emotional wreck. And every time I wondered about Jimin, wondered why I still wouldn't let myself open up to him, I had to remind myself that I still had an unfinished business with the man who still held my entire life in his hands.

"The test results looked promising, so I'm sure you'll be better and free in no time," Hoseok's voice called me back from my daze, looking up to finally notice the nurse in the middle of setting up my IV bags and their tubes. I fell silent as I let her work, thanking her for her help as she left the room and let us be.

"Hoseok—" I called him while he was busy pouring water for me to drink. "Have either you or Yoongi heard anything from Jungkook?"

He stopped and stood still. He took a glance at me before placing the glass and the jug away and settle down on the chair next to the bed. "He came to Yoongi's place to look for you the day after you were first admitted to the hospital. Yoongi didn't tell him that you were once there and where you were at that time, so he just left. But he somehow found out about a week after that Yoongi was covering for you so he came back, full of rage and started coming back while you were here in this hospital, thinking that you would show up at his place again." He exhaled a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest. "He threatened Yoongi, yes. But they didn't fight. And one day, he came by while I was there and we met. So now he knows that I'm the one hiding you away from him."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Does he know—"

He shook his head. "You told us to keep it a secret."

"Thank you."

"What are you going to do about him? He won't stop looking for you and he begged me to give him your new phone number. But I can't let him go anywhere near you, or let you know that he has been coming to us cause I want you to focus on your treatments."

"I know," I answered him. I reached out to pull his crossed arms apart so I could hold his hand. "I'm sorry for getting you guys involved in my personal problems. I probably should do something about our marriage, but I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it."

Hoseok took my hands and stroke his fingers on them. "Take your time. Focus on yourself before deciding on anything."

I nodded. "Yeah, I should get stronger first."

I had to be. Because I knew how weak I would always get whenever I saw him. How easy I would be to give in to him if we had met again.

I took my treatments in my own room that day, with Hoseok staying with me all day until night came. Dr. Kim came to visit me each time I had to take any medications or to get my IV tubes changed.

The actual induced chemotherapy only started the next day.

I refused the wheelchair the nurse had offered me with and insisted to walk down the hallway towards the ward. I didn't necessarily have to be there during the process, but I hated being alone. And I wanted so badly to see him again. All for the reasons I couldn't even explain myself.

Everyone greeted me excitedly the moment I stepped into the room.

"Oh, there's our favourite pretty face. Don't worry, dear. We have your favourite spot saved only for you," said Mrs. Lee, the lady who had always claimed the seat nearest to the entrance.

I leaned down to kiss her cheeks and whispered, "You look lovely, as always." She only waved her hand at me before introducing me to a few newcomers that had started treatments while I was away. A young man was now sitting on Mr. Ahn's old recliner, and he greeted me with a cold nod before closing his eyes shut.

The thoughts of people coming and going, of those who were replaced and left no mark once they had left the earth was unnerving. I shook my head to rid the thoughts away and started making my way to the recliner where I had always resided in. But my heart almost stopped when I found not one, but there were two recliners in front of the large window that were left unoccupied.

He wasn't there.

Every horrible thought started to come through my mind and I had to take a few deep breaths before I could speak, "Where is—"

"Looking for me?" His voice coming from behind startled me, and I instantly turned around.

"Jimin." I sighed in relief, while he only chuckled at the sight of my flustered face.

"Hello again, love. Are you worried that I'm gone?" He smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. Not just yet, especially now that you are back."

If only he knew how much I wanted to just jump up and hug him tight. But I could not let myself. So all we did was sit next to each other like we did before, exchanging stories to one another, one part of our sophisticated lives at a time, while keeping our eyes locked on each other.

I loved the feeling I had when I was with him. It was calming, comfortable, and warm. He couldn't stop himself from taking my hand in his a few times while we talked, and I had let him. The feelings he ignited in me was indescribable, but I told myself it was not love. Because I wasn't capable of having them just yet, not with the heart that was still shattered in tiny pieces.

"Do you stay here, in this hospital, all the time—for your treatments?" I asked him, finally having the courage of finding answers to cure my curiosity.

"Oh, no. I don't," he said as he shook his head. "I mean, I used to. They found these bad boys inside me a little too late and I was such a wreck at the time, they had me stay here for six whole months. I had to go through therapy, radiations, surgeries, until they told me that it was okay to come back here for monthly treatments."

I reached over and took his hand, squeezing them absentmindedly in mine. No wonder he knew so much about what I was about to go through. "Where do you go when you're not here?"

"My cousin's place. She actually went to the same university as you did," he chuckled. "She let me use her old apartment since she's no longer using it after she got married."

I watched his face for a brief while, contemplating on whether I should act out on the idea that suddenly came into my mind. But then I gathered every courage I had to ask, "Will it be okay if we exchange numbers?"

His face lighted up in an instant. "Well, now. I thought you'd never ask." He gave me a sly grin which I returned with a scoff. "I have to be honest that I would've asked you first if you would tell me more about your current situation," he said to me with a nod that was pointed towards the ring mark on my finger.

"A friendly meeting out of the hospital won't hurt much, right?" I asked him. Because that was all that I needed; someone to talk to, a chance for me to open myself completely in the real world, in my not-so-normal life.

"Oh, if only you know about all the things I would do just to be able to see you more often, love."

I felt awfully weak for the third day of my treatment. But the fever could not stop me from going through with it.

I fell asleep while resting in the treatment ward. I could not exactly remember what Jimin and I were chatting about before I fell asleep, but we were playing a game of monopoly with the other patients before everyone started retreating one by one to rest on their recliners or return to their bedrooms.

I had a long dream as I had my nap.

It was the same dream that had been haunting me for years, the same dream that would always leave a painful sting in my heart even hours after I woke up. I always woke up the same way; chest heaving and gasping for air, my hands clenched tight on the sheets covering my body, sweats coating all over my skin, and a burnt feeling in my chest from the speed of my heartbeat. I usually woke up alone, which made it so hard to recover from it.

This time, I woke up to see a pair of eyes staring at me with concern, one foreign hand resting on my knee and the other holding my trembling hand. "Are you alright? What's wrong? Are you in pain?" He asked me curiously and extremely cautious, not wanting to come close even though he looked like he wanted to leave his recliner to hold me tight in his arms.

It took a while for me to process everything, but the warmth of his palm on my skin brought me back faster than I usually did. And I was able to take control of my breath and my heartbeat after a few moments.

"Do you need me to call a nurse?" He asked again, sounding less urgent than he seemed before when he felt my body slowly relaxing, but still filled with worry.

"I'm okay, Jimin. It's only a dream," I answered him, letting him continue stroking his thumb on my knee but squeezed my hand gently over his to return his hold and let him know I was alright.

"A nightmare?" He asked, relaxing beside me. He pulled his hand that was on my knee away, but kept holding my hand with the other. "What is it about? Do you want to tell me?"

I let out a sigh. I closed my eyes to savour the feeling of his thumb circling on my skin, the gentle touch of his finger when he tucked a loose hair behind my earlobe, and the warmth of his hold on my smaller hand while I replayed the dream in my head.

"I was falling. Everything was dark, and I fell. It seemed as if the ground beneath me was so far away, and I could never reach the end of it. The only thing I saw was the one lighting his face, and it became the only thing I saw until I felt myself being pulled away from him in the dark."

"His?" he asked. I saw him staring at me with a quirked brow as I opened my eyes and turned to look at him again. He fell silent for a second until it dawned him. "It was your husband."

I leaned my head back on my recliner while facing his side so I could keep my eyes on him. I nodded. "The face in my dreams was too blurry so I couldn't make sense of it or recognise him vividly. But he was the one who was standing at the top of the stairs to see me fall many years ago."

Jimin's eyes widened the moment he heard my words. "It's a memory?" he gasped. "What—what happened?" I could feel his grip on my hand started tightening as he questioned me. He must have known that the memory was painful enough for me to have me waking up all shaken and breathless when it appeared in my dream.

And I told him everything.

I told him about the pregnancy, about our fight, about the accident, about everything that happened in between and after. I kept my eyes on him as I shared him everything. And I watched how his eyes turned from showing me anger, to shock, and to sadness. And he never let go of my hand as he listened to everything.

He pulled my hand closer to his and kissed my knuckles ever so gently. His voice was trembling with emotions when he finally spoke, "I'm so sorry you have to go through such pain when you were still so young."

"It's okay. I've grown from it. I got through it and even if it was the one that had led me through my whole life after, I somehow have no regrets. I do feel it sometimes, however, regretting that it happened. Regretting the loss and the pain. But the biggest regret was the choices I made after. I should've learned better from it."

He looked deep into my eyes after I spoke without letting go of my hand. He kept my hand so close to his lips and I let him brushed his lips on my skin. His touches and his kisses made my heart flutter and filled with warmth. And I could feel the pain inside my heart, the pain I had from the memory slowly dissolving. And I started to feel as if I would somehow be able to let everything go.

I never wanted him to let go of my hand or to pull away since I didn't want the feeling to stop.

He kept his eyes on me, and his eyes suddenly darkened. "When did this accident happen?"

I pursed my lips while trying to remember. I told him the time and the year of when I remembered it happening and he started to frown.

"That's funny," he mused.

"What is so funny about it?" I chuckled bitterly, before I mirrored his frown.

"The time when it happened," he said, while brushing his lips on my skin with his eyes still locked on mine. "It happened almost at the same time. At least, I suppose it was. I should probably confirm it with my family or my cousin because I don't exactly remember when."

"The same time? With what? What happened?"

He flattened his lips into a thin line, still not letting go of my hand or lowered it away from him as he took the time to think it over. I waited until he answered me, not forcing him to speak until his gaze turned from hesitant to broken.

"I think it's time for me to tell you the story of how Park Jimin died the first time."