Tagged by ThatGaiaGirl and -JustAnEditor-

So, I haven't been doing tags in a while. It was mostly a personal choice of mine to reject the idea of tags, because it seems odd to me. Sorry to those people who have tagged me and I never got around to doing it. Here's another one. I don't know if I will ever do another tag, but if anyone wants to tag me, that's fine.

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Dear Ex: Haven't met you. Maybe never will. Who knows.

Dear self: You know, you should believe in yourself more. The things I say to you (myself) aren't always true. You always downplay yourself like you don't matter. While it's true that you don't matter to most people in the world, it doesn't mean that you don't have a voice for yourself that you can project to the world. Maybe not now, but in the future I need you to be brave and be more thoughtful. Be useful to yourself and others. I am just a voice in your head that's often mean to you, so only listen sometimes. But still listen, though.

Dear crush: Not a single person.

Dear mom: Hi. I disappoint you a lot. I don't know what to do sometimes and we don't have the best relationship in the world. You always think that we're fine, but why do I feel like this then? Maybe the "teenager" part of me just wants to get away from my responsibilities. I appreciate that you let me do what I like, but sometimes you still force me to do things I don't want. I know that you're trying to teach a way of living. I'm sorry that your childhood was tough, but please don't project that to me or my siblings.

Dear dad: Hi. Sometimes I feel like you don't tell me things you want me to know. You never tell me how you're feeling and you just tend to be quiet. I know what you and mom think about feelings and emotions. Sometimes you see them as a weakness and I can see why. Growing up in a country full of conflict, having to hide from those foreign invader just to stay alive must have been difficult. I'm sorry you had to lose a brother when you were young in this hell of a country. But you and mom both are trying to teach me how to protect myself, to be independent and successful. I understand, but again, don't project your fears to me and my siblings.

Dear school: Fuck you. I hate you. You put too much pressure and I really don't get how people can survive school. To be fair, you still taught me a lot that society only values numbers and grades instead of genuine intellect and talent. Bye, never gonna miss you, bitch.

Dear sibling(s): Hi. There are four of you. Two of you aren't even my real siblings, but I still love you even if you hate my parents and I.

K - You're not my real brother, but I care for you anyway. I wish you could see that I care and that I want you to come home once in a while. You're always off somewhere, but I get it. I know that you respect my parents, and that's enough for me. My dad did this for you and your sister and also for his lost sister. Please know that my dad was in a lot of pain. But still, I really wish you didn't have to go through what you did. I guess things never go our way, right? I'm sure you'll be successful. I want to mend our relationship, because even if we're not actual siblings, we're still family either way.

L - sorry I've been a very neglectful sister to you. There isn't much to say other than how different we are form each other. I've only ever see you as someone to compete with. But it's not your fault that mom may like you more. However much I tried to hate you in the past, I could never. And in the past year, although we haven't been too good with each other, I feel like I've known you a little better. Sorry I always let out my frustrations and anger to you.

D - You're not my real sister, but I still care. I know you hate my parents and my siblings. Maybe you hate me, too, but you just never show it. I get it, though. I wish you realized that your dad is feeding you lies and that my parents want the best for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't send you to a good school. I know school sucks and that life suck, but we're young. I'm not that much older than you so we're learning this thing together. Life hasn't been kind to you or your brothers, but my parents and siblings (and me, too, of course) just want to make it better for you. Talk to K about it, please.

M - Hi baby bro. You don't speak English, I know. You know, you're a lot like me. You get angry all the time and everything stresses you out. There's still some time for you to figure things out and maybe talk to me if you want. Sorry I haven't been home a lot, but school has been keeping me busy. You're so far away from where I live, but it really isn't an excuse for me to neglect you. Also, you're not what your bullies say. Don't be afraid to stand up to them. Our society is a mess, we're still recovering from a conflict and we're in the brink of another one. It was sad to see you scared for my and L's life that time a bombing hit our city, but we're okay and we love you. We don't die that easily.

Dear past me: Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you. I know you're scared, because people are talking shit about you in a language you don't speak. Trust me, work hard and your English will be good. Throw the shit they give you back at their face. Also, warning of bullies and awful teachers at school. Don't depend on mom or dad about issues at school; they're too busy. BUT THEY STILL CARE! Look for things yourself, be independent and stop being a big baby. You don't want people to see you as useless and for you to be a dead-weight. Stop complaining, it's useless. 

Dear future child: I really don't want a child in my life. I don't even know if I want to be married (it's too soon for me to say. I'm not even twenty yet). I'm too afraid to make a mistake on another human being. I don't want to be responsible for fucking up a kid. But if you're here, talk to me about everything. I will make a lot of mistakes, but I'm human. I'll learn a lot from you as you'll learn from me.

Dear the person I hate: I don't hold grudges. If I ever say "I hate (name)," know that it's not real. Hatred takes a lot of energy and that's energy I don't want to spend hating.

Dear the person I love: What kind of love? Platonic? You guys are awesome and will forever hold a place in my soul no matter how small. Romantic? Guess I have to find you first.

Dear ex-best friend: Got none of these. Hope I will never have one, too.

Dear celebrity crush: That's not a thing in my head. Why do people even get celeb crushes? Weird for me, but no judgement.

Dear people who hate me: Yeah, I forgive you. I don't have time thinking about you. Do what you want. I know you're decent people, just not to me. I don't know why, though. I wish you told me why you didn't like me, so I know what to show you. But just know this: I'll be in a place higher than I am now today in ten years and I'll be laughing.

Dear best friend: Youuuuuuu aaaaaaaaare the champiooooooon my frieeeeeeeeend! We don't talk much these days since we're both busy with our own thing. There isn't much else I need to say to you other than thank you for helping me through the darkest of times, talking to me with a level head that time when I almost did it. The second I see you next time there's going to be a lot of hugs. And yea, I only accept hugs from you and my famalam, but you're my famalam, too.

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Won't be tagging anyone. I liked this; helped me sort through my head a little. Thanks for the tag. I don't know if I'll do another one in the future, though. Tags are just weird to me.