so at this point i'm just venting but it's fine this is like my digital diary so anytime that i want to rant vent or update etc. i'm going to do it but dear bullies or anyone that's going to be mean to me, nobody is forcing you to read this nobody is forcing you to comment on this book. But anyways right now having to deal with my grandmas homophobia as well with dealing with transphobes and on top of it dealing with gender dysphoria is a lot but ive came to terms that i am nonbinary. But at the same time i'm accepting that i am i had to the same thing when i was accepting myself that i was lesbian but now i'm doing it with being nonbinary and usually now when someones homophobic i can laugh it off and be totally fine. But when it comes to transphobia it's a hard and it does get to me and i try not to let get to me but it's hard and then putting the gender dysphoria on top of it all and it makes my depression spike on top of it so it makes the committing thoughts a lot more frequent and a lot more there if it makes sense and all i know is it feels to much and i don't want to be alive anymore. But yeah. 

i hope you bubs are having a great day/night thank you all for the support it means a lot to me and i'm always here no matter what!!!!!!!!