So, anyone who follows me knows of my relationship and everyone is probably confused as to what's going on, so I'm here to start from pretty much the beginning. I'll just be calling him my 'boyfriend'.

It all began at my Halloween Party, on November 2nd, 2019. Everyone had gone home besides these two guys, they told me about my boyfriend, and said we'd be a great match. They gave me his Instagram and the next day we began talking.

We agreed to meet up on November 2019, either the 9th, or 10th, or something similar to these dates. It was a weekend in November basically. It was in a very public area, so I was safe.

We agreed to another date, in which I met his family, then another, and another, until eventually, on December 2nd, 2019, we officially became a relationship.

Everything's great, his family like me, my family like him. He got me roses and treated me right and I got him chocolate and kisses, it was a respectful and caring relationship.

I'd go to his every Sunday and we'd spend the day together - perfect for both of us. I like lazy days, he works at a barber shop.

My boyfriend threw a sleep over party on 16th of February, 2020. There was me, my boyfriend, the two mutual friends, and about six other people.

One of these six other people is someone I've met before, we go to the same college and is close friends with my boyfriend. - This is important.

Everyone was drunk that night, everyone was tired and everyone was on drugs. - Also important. To clarify I was drunk and tired, but not on drugs. It's a bad habit to get into. It was great fun.

I at one point, went outside with three other guys, they were having a smoke and I wanted cold, night air. - This is important information.

Then Covid started and England went into lockdown, so now we're talking through text messages. Everything's great.

May 4th, 2020, just past midnight.

My boyfriend texts me, he says he wants a break from our relationship. I kind of freeze and so I ask him why. (while also crying and texting my two friends about this)

He tells me, it's because one of the guys from the party told him I was flirting with his best friend, the one that goes to my college. He said I felt the guys muscles and said I'd rather date him.

1) I did feel the guys muscles.
2) I proceeded to compliment him - like I would with any other friend.

I won't lie, I'm not perfect in this situation, but I know I didn't say that, or if I did I didn't mean it, that's for a fact.

So, I told him what I did, and assured him I loved him and not the guy. My boyfriend didn't believe me. I ask him when I allegedly said this, my boyfriend tells me, 'when the guys went out for a smoke.'

I immediately know when this is, because I remember doing those two things.

So, I messaged the guy and asked him to confirm or deny my statement, that of being I love my boyfriend, I asked him to confirm or deny what happened between us. He sides with me and says: 'Even if you had said that, I wouldn't tell him, you was drunk. It's not fair on you.'

My boyfriend isn't having any of it, and so I ask who told him this. My boyfriend doesn't tell me because 'it would make things awkward'. I promised it wouldn't, still doesn't tell me. So, I said: 'it's fine. Because, I remember who I was out there with. And I know it's not the *guy*. There's only two left, so which one?'

Still doesn't tell me, who cares? I have two suspects.

I tell my boyfriend: 'So, you're siding with two guys who were drunk and high? One of them literally threw up on your stairs. Doesn't really count as reliable.'

I can name every single thing that happened that night, I was drunk and not high.

He told me it's not just me, it's also him. He's not happy with himself. Which fair enough. Why? He smokes, drinks and does drugs.

I sent him a link on self love, or something of that nature and he said it wouldn't help. I suggested talking to his Mum. He said no, because she'd get angry...

Obviously, she'd get angry. Drugs, cigs and alcohol! But, if you'd ask for the help, she'd help.

I let him leave, I showed no interest. And this (literally instantly) is when he realised he made a mistake and he was sorry.

So, I left it that night as it was nearing 4am, my Mum came in and comforted me.

Monday (the next day) comes along, I call him and we talk about it. He sounds uncomfortable and not interested, he wants to move on, in which I now realise is a him thing. Turns out guys in England don't like talking about emotions, it's uncomfortable.

We sort it out, but things are now dying between us.

Our text messages become few and far between, some on my side because I had fallen behind in my A Level English Literature and Language course.

The small conversations are dry, he's not making an effort. He's busy each weekend, I can't see him.

The last conversation between us was on the 18th June, 2020. I hadn't opened his message because I had to do my English - baring in mind it's not just an assay, these are like novel openings and comparatives I need to write from scratch, reading books and writing newspaper opinion pieces - my own idea.

I apologised for this on 22nd June, 2020. I got nothing in response, fair enough. I continued each day, until the 25th June, 2020 in which I gave up. The week finishes, Mum knows.

I think we've officially broken up, eating my worries away and I'm crying. No explanation, nothing. My friends, livid.

Today, 4th July, 2020, I get a message from him.

'Hey xx'

Turns out he's not broken up with me, he's busy. He ghosted me for two weeks, because he was busy.

He's acting like it's not a big deal and doesn't understand why I'm upset or how I came to the conclusion we've broken up.

So, tomorrow I'm calling him. I'm telling him exactly why, but can't keep pushing either because he's a boy and can't do emotions.

I'll offer to meet up with him next week, if not next, the weekend after. If not then, he can decide. Because, at this point I'm angry, and if he's not willing if to make an effort that I can't do anything.

Just wanted to make it clear about what's happened between me and my boyfriend, because I'm sure your all confused if we're on or off, as this is the second time shit like this has happened.