Have you ever been so in love with one of your friends that it physically and mentally hurts?

i'm afraid that if i tell this girl i like her she won't want to be friends anymore... and her friendship means a lot to me...

I don't know what to do... i'm hurting, and i can't tell my mom because she would just disown me even more, My brother would just hate and bully me even more, and no-one in my family has ever been part of the LGBTQ+ community so none of them understand me, but this girl really makes me happy....