CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT » GHOSTS
"You're supposed to feel your feelings. It's what makes you human."

♔

"Oh, thank god," Glenn breathed out in relief almost as soon as I stepped back into the prison, immediately crushing me into a hug. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied, giving him an assuring smile before turning my head behind me to glance at Daryl, who'd begun to head past everyone without a word.

"Where's Merle?" Rick asked, obviously voicing the question on everyone's minds. I pulled away from Glenn as everyone started to look to Daryl for answers, but he just continued to walk away.

I shook my head, confirming what seemed to be most people's thoughts. "He didn't make it."

"I'll go," Olivia offered, looking to the empty space ahead of her where Daryl had previously been.

"No," I said firmly, causing her to stop in her tracks. "He needs some time." I turned around to address everyone else. "He's out for revenge," I started, my eyes flitting over Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie, giving each of them a nod. "We all are. The Governor, he's coming for us and he's not going to stop. So we're going to end this, once and for all."

What appeared to be a hint of a smile formed on Rick's face as he nodded back at me, stepping forwards to join me in the middle of everyone. "You heard Blaire. We're gonna need to start preparing."

Upon his words, everybody began to disperse, mixed emotions understandably seeming to fill the air. I mouthed to Glenn that I'd catch up with him in a bit, and started to head towards Rick instead until I heard someone say my name.

I turned around on the spot, noticing Michonne watching me intently. "Hey," I greeted, taking a couple of steps towards her. "Glad you got back okay."

"Thank you," she responded, stepping away from the wall. "For fighting my corner."

"Just doing what anyone else would do," I shrugged indifferently, giving her a nod. "Now, let's end this."

I could have sworn I saw a small smile on her face, something I'd never really expected to see. She always seemed very stern, but there was something about her attitude that I liked. I really hoped she'd stay with our group.

"I know you're still mad at me," Rick said as I approached him, causing me to chuckle slightly at his sudden statement. "But I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you."

"We're preparing for war and you're going all sentimental on me?" I asked, causing him to glance up in the air, letting out a low laugh along with me, until a silence fell again.

"What happened to Merle?"

"Something went down, I'm not quite sure what. It must have been the Governor's doing. But Daryl and I found him," I said, swallowing thickly. "He'd turned."

"How's Daryl doing?"

"I don't think he's doing great," I sighed heavily, shrugging my shoulders. "But you know Daryl, he'll do his best to hide it."

"We'll be here for him," Rick assured. "And if anyone can get through to him, it's you."

"I just– I wasn't Merle's biggest fan, you know, but he meant everything to Daryl. It sucks– it just sucks seeing the people you care about lose the people that they love. And for some reason, I just wanna get my own revenge on the Governor. Revenge on him for doing this, for causing all of this, and for killing Merle."

"I understand."

"I know that it's going to be dangerous, and I know that this isn't what everybody wants–" I paused, shaking my head helplessly. "But I don't think we have any other choice."

"The Governor is going to die today," Rick told me, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. "We'll finish this."

"I hope you're right. I really do."

~

Amidst all the chaos and preparations, I decided it would be a good idea to check on Daryl.

It was difficult to imagine anyone grieving over Merle Dixon, but Daryl was his brother. No matter what he said, no matter whether he denied his feelings, it was inevitable he was going to be hurting.

"Hey," I said softly, leaning against the side of the wall to his cell. He looked up, sighing gruffly. I didn't expect anything more.

"I don't wanna talk."

"I know you don't," I told him, stepping into his cell without his permission. I sat down at the edge of the bed, giving him an innocent smile. "But I do."

He groaned, already aggravated by my presence. "Blaire–"

I cut him off. "I know it's hard and I know you're hurting more than anything–"

"I know, but I ain't gonna be a damn girl about it," he snapped back in response, making me roll my eyes.

"First of all, being a 'girl' shouldn't be an insult, so get rid of that idea," I responded, raising eyebrows at him. He glanced away. "Considering you're grieving, I'll let this one slide. But you should know that you're supposed to feel your feelings. It's what makes you human."

There was silence for a few moments. Daryl hung his head down, defeated, his eyes directed to the floor. "I couldn't save him."

"This wasn't your fault."

He shook his head, lifting his gaze from the floor. Tears brimmed in his eyes, and he looked at me with such a devastated look that even I began to feel slightly defeated. "I haven't got anyone anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous, we all care about you," I said, inching closer to him.

"You shouldn't."

"We should," I countered back, shaking my head at him. "Daryl, you haven't just got anyone; you've got family," I said, placing my hand over the top of his. "And I'm here, I'm always going to be here. Even if we disagree, even if we fall out, you can always count on me. I'm always going to have your back. Because– because we're family." He glanced up again and I smiled softly, not expecting any response from him. "I know it sucks. I know how much you loved Merle, and I know how much he loved you. But you're still loved, Daryl. I love you. We all do. Don't forget that."

I squeezed his hand, rising from the bed and heading to the doorway. "Blaire–" I turned around, surprised that he'd even called my name. He gave me a nod. "Thanks."

I smiled, gently nodding back, knowing that this was as close to an 'I love you too' that I'd ever get from Daryl.

~

Later, I stood beside Glenn, a gun held tightly in my hands. We'd spent most of the morning preparing all the weapons we had, sorting out our best shooters, our best positions.

And now all we had left to do was wait.

"I don't want innocent people to die today," Glenn stated, as I looked up from examining the condition of my rifle. His eyebrows were drawn into a frown, and his stare was fixed in the distance.

"Nobody does, Glenn. Nobody wants any more blood on their hands," I replied softly. "But people are going to die. And some of those people may be innocent, they may not want this, but they're fighting alongside him. We're fighting for us, for our future."

Glenn didn't respond, instead squeezing my hand. I agreed with him, of course I did. I didn't want any more innocent people to die, and it was difficult to push those thoughts aside. But I knew that sometimes it was important to see the bigger picture of what we were fighting for.

It wasn't long before I heard the loud rumble of engines, signalling that the fighters of Woodbury were beginning to arrive.

"You ready?" Glenn questioned as I turned my head to the left to look at him properly. I swallowed thickly, for the most part being nervous about the encounter. But I was determined to not let the Governor slip away again, not after everything that had happened.

"I'm ready."

The first shot was fired into the silence, causing the floodgates to open and a dozen more gunshots to erupt around us. I positioned my rifle, looking carefully through the scope.

I watched briefly as Olivia rushed to jam their machine gun, but quickly directed my attention away, having to trust she'd make it back unharmed.

After waiting in what seemed a long few moments of anticipation, blaring alarms and screams erupted from within the tunnels of the prison, confirming that everything had gone according to plan.

I shifted into a better shooting position, making me slightly more vulnerable to our attackers, which naturally panicked me a little. Quickly, I glanced through the scope of the gun, moving so the target eventually landed on the Governor.

My finger hovered over the trigger, my heart pounding, my head exploding with thoughts. I wanted to pull it. After everything he'd done, all the pain, all the hurt, the suffering. I was going to end everything.

I pulled the trigger, the force causing my body to shudder slightly as I watched the bullet slice through the air.

"Shit," I muttered, frantically looking through the scope again as Maggie and Glenn quickly fired more shots as backup. We didn't get him. I missed. I fucking missed. "Shit, shit, shit."

I kept watching through the scope, prepared to strike again, when I realised they'd began to pull out.

I watched, my jaw clenching, anger burning through my body as they drove off, leaving nothing behind but dust.

~

"We did it," Rick stated once we'd regrouped again minutes later. I was still incredibly frustrated with myself for missing the shot. "We drove them out."

But I wasn't prepared to settle for just driving them out. Not anymore. Not ever again. I wanted this done. I wanted it finished.

"We should go after them," Michonne stated, and I nodded along in agreement. It would be risky, it would be dangerous. But we couldn't just wait around and do nothing now. We'd started something and we had to end it.

"We should finish it," Daryl added on.

"It is finished," Maggie countered. "Didn't you see them hightail it out of here?"

"He's not gonna stop," I protested, sharing looks with both Michonne and Daryl, who I knew were definitely on my side. "And neither am I. Not until this is all over."

"They're right. We can't keep living like this," Carol added, her eyes sweeping around the rest of the group nervously.

We were split again.

"So we take the fight back to Woodbury?" Maggie asked, also looking between us, her eyes eventually settling on me. "We barely made it back last time."

"I don't care," Daryl stated, almost seeming in a rush to get going. I understood him completely. The fire inside me had been lit. And after everything we'd been through, I was ready to unleash it too.

"Me neither," I said, taking a step backwards. "We weren't ready before but now," I looked between everyone, biting my lip due to a sudden, strange urge to smile. "Now we are."

I didn't get the response I expected.

I felt myself straighten up as multiple guns clicked at once, all pointing in my direction. My heart leapt, blood pounding furiously in my ears. Swallowing thickly, dread filling me, I slowly began to turn around, coming face to face with a ghost.

"Mom?"

❃

Words: 1904
Published: 25th March 2017

Yikes.