CHAPTER THIRTY » BROKEN
"Me and you, we have to stick together."

♔

My first thought as I pulled away from Glenn, my eyes stinging harshly from all the tears, was the baby now in Hershel's arms.

"The good news is she looks healthy," Hershel announced, breaking the silence. "But she needs formula. And soon, or she won't survive."

"No," Daryl spoke up, his arm moving from Olivia's back as he took a step forwards. "No way. Not her. We ain't losing nobody else. I'm going for a run."

"I'll back you up," Maggie said, and I pulled myself out of my current state, nodding.

"I'll go too."

"And me," Glenn added quickly.

"Okay, think where we're going," Daryl instructed before shouting a shell shocked looking Beth over. "Kid just lost his mom," he said in a low whisper, only us closest being able to hear. "His dad ain't doing so hot."

"I'll look out for him." She replied, giving him a weak smile before turning and heading back towards her father.

"You two get the fence," I instructed Oscar and Axel, who immediately obliged. "There's too many," I said, facing Daryl, who merely shook his head.

"Glenn, Maggie, vámonos," Daryl instructed as my eyes wandered back to Rick, who was picking up an axe on the ground.

"Shit," I murmured, watching as he started to head back towards Cell Block C. "Rick!" I called out. But it was already too late.

"Get the gate!" I heard Daryl yell out to the others. "Come on, we're gonna lose the light!"

Sighing, I turned back to the other three, all of us beginning to fast walk. "There's a Piggly Wiggly on 85," Glenn suggested as a destination.

"No, the baby section's been cleared," Maggie shut down. "Lori asked me and Blaire to keep an eye out, haven't had much luck."

"Is there any place that hasn't been completely looted?"

"We saw signs for a shopping center just north of here," Glenn reminded as I thought back to a run we'd done a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah, but there's too much debris on the road. The car will never get through there," I disagreed.

Daryl looked between all of us, pulling his vest on. "I can take one of you." Just as I went to open my mouth, he cut me off. "Not you though Blaire."

"What? Why?"

"If someone's gotta stay then better it's you," he said. "Rick ain't in a good state."

As much as I wanted to argue, I knew there was no point in wasting time. I wanted to help, for Lori's sake. But maybe the way I could help Lori is by helping Rick and Carl.

"I'll go," Maggie offered.

"No, Maggie, after everything you've been through," Glenn shook his head.  "I can go."

"I want to go," she said firmly. "For Lori, I have to."

"Maggie, you sure?" I double checked, although though I knew exactly how she felt with the need to do something for Lori. She nodded. "Okay, be safe. Both of you."

Maggie gave me a pained smile, her arms wrapping around Daryl as the bike roared off into the distance. Glenn and I shared a look, both not knowing what to say or where to even start with the situation we'd been left in.

~

"Hey, where's Rick?" I asked Hershel, hoping he'd returned back from whatever the hell he was doing.

"Still inside."

"Alright, I'll get him." I turned to look back at Glenn, Oscar and Axel all digging graves and shook my head, my jaw clenching. "Three of our group, our family, gone. All because of one asshole."

"Axel and Oscar seem like good guys," Hershel defended, and I nodded uncertainly. I still hadn't made my mind up about the two of them.

"We'll see," I paused, folding my arms over my chest. "You know, T told me that when the evacuations started, he drove his church van to the home of every senior he knew just in case they needed a ride," I smiled at memories of my friend. "He saved my ass loads of times. He wasn't just a good guy. He was the best."

"Got bit closing the gate, if he hadn't done that-" Hershel cut off and I nodded, giving him a knowing smile. The older man reached for my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Are you okay Blaire?"

"Not really," I let out a heavy sigh. "But I have to be. For the rest of the group."

I stayed there for a few more moments before giving Hershel a goodbye smile and heading towards Cell Block C to search for Rick.

It was pitch black when I stepped inside, and I only had my shitty flashlight to guide me. I scanned around, looking in corners and down seemingly endless corridors; the only things I could find being blood splatters on the walls and dead walkers. The stench was overwhelming and I coughed, trying to ignore it as I continued walking.

The injuries on the walkers looked fresh and new, and judging by the large axe shaped holes in their heads, there was only one person down here who was doing that. Essentially, all I had to do was follow the walker trail to find Rick.

I turned a corner, pausing for a moment when I noticed a figure holding a bloodied axe. "Rick?"

Cautiously, I stepped closer towards him. He didn't answer or turn around, he didn't even act like he'd heard me coming at all. "Come on man, everyone's worried about you. You can't stay down here." I saw him slowly turn his head, his eyes glazing over me. "Rick, you don't have to do this all by yourself, okay? Just come out-"

Suddenly, I felt myself pressed against the wall, Rick's arm against my throat. His blood smeared face and soulless eyes started blankly at me as I froze, not wanting to do anything. I was ninety percent certain that if I did absolutely anything to piss him off he'd probably actually kill me. "Rick- Rick it's me."

He let go, staring at me for a moment longer before turning away and heading deeper through the corridors. "Well fuck you then," I mumbled, shaking my head as I watched after him.

I decided not to follow, knowing he needed some more time to calm down. It wasn't an ideal way of dealing with things, but if that's what he needed to do then I had to let him get on with it. I could deal with the rest of the group.

As I stepped back outside again, I was met with a very worried looking Glenn. "Hey, you okay? Where's Rick?"

"I found him but he's completely out of it," I replied. "He almost lost it with me. Thought it was best to leave him before I lost my patience. Or my life."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, no I'm good. Think I'm gonna go find Carl, unless there's anything you need help with?"

"No," he placed his hand on my shoulder, giving me a soft smile. "I'll go find Rick again later."

"Alright," I nodded, my head beginning to ache a little from today's events. "I'll probably go back later too."

"Okay, beautiful." Despite everything, I felt myself smile as he leant down, kissing my lips lightly.

We eventually parted ways and I headed inside, passing some of the others and giving them reassuring looks. I headed into the cells, finding Carl's, seeing him sat on the bed, staring at the wall.

"Hey buddy," I said quietly, peering my head around the wall. He glanced up, giving me an acknowledging nod. "Can I come in?"

He shrugged, so I stepped inside, sitting beside him on the bed. "If you wanna talk to me, I'll listen," I offered, speaking gently. "I promise."

He shrugged a little indifferently, like he wasn't too interested. But I knew that he was hurting. How could he not be? "Did you find my dad?"

"Yeah," I replied, giving him an assuring smile. "He's fine, he just needs a little time." Carl nodded silently, looking down at the floor. "I know you probably want to talk to him and that's okay if you'd rather. But for now, I am here and I'm happy to listen."

It was silent for a while and I was beginning to think that he wanted to be alone. But I was slightly reluctant to leave, not ready to give up on him.

"It was me," he finally said, breaking the silence. "I was- I had to do it. I killed my mom." Tears welled up in his eyes and I placed my arm around his back, pulling him closer to me.

"I know kiddo, I know. And I'm so sorry that had to happen," I said slowly, rubbing his back comfortingly. "You're so strong and so brave, you know that?" He merely shrugged in response and I gave him a small smile. "You are. And I love you so much. We all do, okay?"

He nodded, locking eyes with me. "Okay."

I smiled, ruffling his hair and standing up. "I'll be around if you wanna talk again."

Carl gave me a small nod in reply and I headed out of the cells, a sombre mood taking over me as I found my way back to the others.

~

Later that evening I stepped out of my cell, seeing that most of the group were crowded around, and that Daryl and Maggie were back. One sight I didn't expect to see though was Daryl so sweetly holding the baby in his arms, feeding her the formula.

"She got a name yet?" I asked, directing my question at Carl.

"Not yet. But I was thinking maybe Sophia. Then there's Carol, too. And," he let out a heavy sigh. "Andrea. Amy. Jacqui. Patricia. Or Lori..." he trailed off. "I don't know." I stopped beside him, squeezing his shoulder.

"You like that?" I heard Daryl speak softly, rocking the baby in his arms as she kept drinking the baby formula. "Huh? Little ass-kicker." He looked up with a grin on his face and I chuckled, along with everyone else. "Right? That's a good name, right? Little ass-kicker. You like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?"

After the mood had been lifted and the baby had been fed, Maggie and Beth took her to get her to sleep. Glenn had headed to our cell, absolutely exhausted. The others did the same, leaving only Daryl and I both sat on the steps.

"You okay?" I asked after a while, turning to face him. He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "Daryl-"

"B," he sighed exasperatedly. "Ain't nothing wrong with me, alright? What about you?"

"I just- I know you were close to Carol so..." I trailed off, unsure on what else to say. "I'm sorry. We just lost so much and-" I cut off, shaking my head as hot tears pricked in my eyes. "Sorry."

Daryl glanced at me, his eyes seeming to soften slightly. "You wanna talk?"

"It's just so hard, moving on from this. We lost three people yesterday, three people that mean so much to us," I breathed out heavily. "T-Dog was so kind and honest, Carol so pure and sweet, Lori was such a motherly figure, and now they're all gone. You know, and what's worse is that we don't even have Rick here with us to help us through. He's our leader man and I'm just so worried about him and his stability right now. How do we move on? How do we look after Carl and that little baby girl? How do we do this?"

"It's gonna be alright."

I couldn't help but laugh slightly at Daryl's attempt at comforting words, but appreciated them nonetheless. "I'm just trying the best that I can, but I don't know if it's enough."

"You're a good leader Blaire, people look up to ya."

"They look up to you too," I said truthfully, knowing that Daryl was one hundred percent who everyone was going to be following whilst Rick was sorting himself out.

"Nah," he dismissed, causing me to raise my eyebrows. How could he not see?

I shook my head, not wanting to get into a debate about it. "Whilst Rick is gone, me and you, we have to stick together. You can tell people are looking to someone to do something, to help us through this. We have to be those people." Daryl merely nodded in response, but I knew he was on a similar wavelength to me. I stood up, patting his shoulder with a smile. "Better get some sleep. Got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

He nodded in agreement, also rising up from his spot on the stairs. "Yeah. Long day."

I stepped down the bottom few steps, turning back to look at him. "Goodnight Daryl."

"Goodnight Blaire."

❃

Words: 2146
Published: 22nd December 2016

Leader Blaire™ is beginning to happen and I'm super excited to write it.

Also, I started a 'meet my ocs' kinda book on my main account _toxicity . It's going to be extra information on my ocs and it will include characters like Blaire and Olivia at some point if any of you wanted to check that out.

I hope you all have a great Christmas 🎄❤️