CHAPTER TWENTY » ALIVE
"Because I love you."

♔

It was later in the evening and we were all situated in the farmhouse. Patricia, Carol and Olivia were in the kitchen, preparing the food. I was on drinks duty, but my mind was elsewhere.

Rick and Glenn still weren't back with Hershel, despite how long it had been. I knew I couldn't be the only one feeling worried.

I started to bring out drinks for everyone, watching as Andrea and Shane headed inside as I began placing drinks down.

"They should be back by now," Andrea stated as she took a seat at the table. I placed a glass down by her and one by Shane, resisting the temptation to purposely spill it down him.

"Yeah," Shane said, taking a seat at the head of the table. "They just got holed up somewhere. We'll head out first thing in the morning."

Patricia came out, placing some food on the table. Dale smiled. "Thank you."

I headed back into the kitchen with her, smiling at Olivia who was stood with a basket of bread in her hands. "You ready?"

She smiled back. "As I'll ever be."

The two of us stepped into the other room, Olivia placing the bread down on the table whilst I cleared my throat. "Um guys, this is Olivia who I was telling you about. She's staying tonight and then we're going to head back out to find her group tomorrow."

Olivia said her hello's and the others greeted her before she headed back to the kitchen.

"All of you," I whispered. "Play nice. Okay?"

I was met with nods and headed back to the kitchen to help distribute the rest of the food.

"Carl, I want you to keep your head up, okay?" Shane said to the younger boy, who was staring down at the table. "Your old man, he's the toughest son of a-"

Patricia hit his arm, interjecting. "No cussing in the house."

He looked up. "Sorry."

"Lori, dinner," Carol shouted up the stairs.

"She's not in there," Maggie said.

"Where is she?" I frowned, beginning to feel even more nervous. If Lori was missing then that was really concerning, especially because of her pregnancy.

Shane set his fork down. "Carl, when's the last time you saw your mom?"

"This afternoon."

"She was worried about Rick," Andrea spoke up. "Asked me to look in on Carl."

Dale turned to her, startled. "She went after them?"

"She didn't say that," Andrea dismissed, but it didn't ease my nerves.

"Nobody panic," Shane said, setting his napkin down. "Gonna be around here somewhere."

~

"She's not in the barns," Shane said a while later. We'd all been out searching the farm for her. T-Dog and I had been looking around the yard with flashlights but had no luck.

"We checked the yards," T-Dog added.

Carl stared at all of us with wide, worried eyes. "Well, where is she?"

Carol came running over from the other side of camp, stopping beside us. "She asked Daryl to go into town. Must've gone herself."

"You're kidding me," I muttered. I could understand Daryl not wanting to be the one to go, but he knew she was pregnant. If he had an inclination that she was going to go alone he should have at least told someone.

I heard Carl whimper and wrapped my arm around him, bringing him closer. He shrugged me off, running back to the house.

"Hey. Carl!" I called out after him, sighing when he didn't turn back around. This must be awful for him.

"Did you know about this?" Shane accused, looking at Dale.

He shook his head. "No."

"Look, just-" Shane paused. "Did she take a gun?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't let her go out there alone."

Shane didn't answer and instead ran to the car before any of us could follow, driving off to find Lori. I groaned, knowing there was no point in following.

I headed back to the farmhouse, attempting to find Carl. He was a tough kid but he'd already been worried enough about his father, with his mother gone too he must be terrified.

"Hey, where did Carl go?" I asked Patricia as I stepped inside the house.

"Olivia's talking to him in the guest room," she replied. "I'm guessing you couldn't find Lori?"

"We think she went to find Rick," I replied. "Shane's gone after her."

"If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Patricia headed back into the kitchen and I climbed the stairs to the guest room. The door was open slightly and I glanced in to see Carl and Olivia sat on the bed, her arms around him as he cried. The floorboard creaked beneath my feet and I winced as it caught both of their attention.

"Hey," I said, giving Carl a weak smile. "Shane's just gone to find your mom. I'm sure she'll be alright."

Olivia nodded, letting go of Carl and ruffling his hair. As she passed me at the door, I gave her a small nod of thanks before heading further into the room.

"What if she doesn't come back?" He sniffed, wiping his eyes. "What if they both don't come back?"

I sat down next to him with a sigh, wrapping my arm around him. "I've known your dad a long time. He's the strongest man I know. I mean, he made it back to you and your mom on his own didn't he? And your mom, she's tough too. More than you know. I'm sure they're both gonna be fine."

I comforted Carl for a while before exclaiming that he needed some fresh air. The two of us were at the porch steps just as a car pulled up.

Shane stepped out of the car, followed by Lori. I breathed a sigh of relief, rushing over. "Oh my god are you alright?"

"What happened?" Carol asked, rushing over to take a look at her. Her eyes looked tired and she had a cut on her lip. She looked pretty distressed.

"I was in an accident," she answered.  "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"She was attacked," Shane confirmed.

Lori looked around the group. "Where's Rick?" I frowned, watching as Shane started to walk away. Had he not told her? Lori glared at Shane. "They're not back? Where are they?"

"Look, I had to get you back here-"

"You asshole," Lori snapped, shoving him backwards. "He's my husband!"

"Lori, I will go after him. I will find him." She scoffed, moving away from him. "Now look, first things first, I gotta look after you. I gotta make sure the baby's all right, okay?"

I swallowed thickly as Lori's eyes widened. She looked at me fearfully.

"You're having a baby?!" Carl exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Uh-"

"Come on," Dale said, breaking the tension. "Let's make sure you're all right."

Lori hardly moved so Andrea took her arm, leading her back inside. I placed my hand on Carl's shoulder, the two of us beginning to follow them. "Come on, kiddo. Let's get inside."

~

The next morning wasn't any less stressful. Rick, Glenn and Hershel still weren't back and Beth was still unresponsive. Maggie, Patricia and Andrea had been upstairs with her all morning.

"You know, I can always go back on my own," Olivia suggested as I geared up to go on our trip to find her group. We were going to hold out as long as we could for the three men to get back, but if they didn't the decision was going to have to be made without them. "If you wanna look for your people."

Before I could reply, the sound of an engine roaring up the drive gathered my attention. Everybody rushed out of the house and towards the stopping car.

"Dad!" Carl rushed forwards, along with Lori who pulled him and Rick into an embrace.

I paused, feeling my breath hitch in my throat when I caught sight of Glenn. He glanced over at me, holding his stare for a moment. Relief flooded me, knowing he was okay.

"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery." Hershel's voice grabbed my attention and I looked over, realising someone had been hurt.

A guy, who'd been blindfolded and gagged, stepped out of the car. "Who the hell is that?" I asked, looking between Rick and Hershel for one of them to explain.

"That's Randall."

~

"We couldn't just leave him behind," Rick said from the head of the table. Everybody was in the dining room, deciding what to do about Randall and also Olivia's group. "He would've bled out, if he lived that long."

"It's gotten bad in town," Glenn commented.

"What do we do with him?"

Hershel stepped into the room. "I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week."

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way," Rick added.

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked.

The door opened and Daryl stepped in, joining the group meeting- which was unlike him. He gave a nod to Carol and stopped beside me, leaning against the wall.

"He'll have a fighting chance," Rick replied.

Shane scoffed. "Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are."

"He was blindfolded the whole way here," Rick defended. "He's not a threat."

"Not a threat?" He said sarcastically. "How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?"

"They left him for dead. No one is looking," Rick assured, glancing round at everyone.

I shifted on the spot, still not entirely comfortable with the situation. It wasn't the same as when Olivia came here. Randall and his men had tried to attack the others, that meant he was dangerous.

"We should still post a guard," T-Dog said, as I nodded in agreement.

"He's out cold right now," Hershel stated. "Will be for hours."

"You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy," Shane scoffed sarcastically. "Look at this, folks, we're back in fantasy land."

He started to head round the table, reaching the door just as Hershel stopped him. "You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet. Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all, this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour; keep your mouth shut."

Shane's eyes blazed with anger but he kept it reigned in as he stormed out of the house.

"We're not gonna do anything about it today," Rick said. "There's just the matter of Olivia's group to discuss and then we'll all just cool off."

"Right," I said after Rick had nodded at me, indicating that he'd wanted me to speak. "Olivia wants to find her group today since it's almost been three days. Daryl and I were going to take her back. If we find her group, we want to know what to do about it."

"Well, she knows where we are now anyway," Andrea said. "What's to stop her coming back?"

"How do we know she's definitely telling the truth about her group?" Dale questioned.

"We don't," I answered. "But there's only one way we're gonna find out."

"And if this all goes wrong?" Glenn asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

I folded my arms over my chest, glaring at him. "Then I made a bad call."

"It's one thing making a bad call, Blaire. But you're risking all our lives," Lori said. "I like Olivia, I do. But how can we be sure the rest of her group are good people like her? How do we know if they're willing to cooperate like she is?"

"I get that," I answered, looking between everyone. "But from what I've heard, her group is weak. They're vulnerable and they're barely surviving. They need help and we need them. Because if we're going to start making enemies, then we're also gonna need to make some allies."

Rick nodded, stepping forwards. "Is there anybody deeply against this idea?"

Nobody spoke.

I turned to Hershel. "It's your opinion that matters most, this is your farm."

"If her group need help, I'm not going to turn them away."

A smile broke out on my face before I could stop it. "Thank you, Hershel. Is it settled then?" I looked around at everyone. "Are we bringing her group back?"

The others turned to Rick, who must have taken their responses as a yes. "Yeah. Bring them back."

"Wait, what about Shane?" Andrea said quickly. "He was pretty against the idea yesterday."

"I'll talk to Shane," Rick said. "He'll come round."

Everybody soon began to disperse, so Daryl and I headed outside to tell Olivia the news. Once she saw us coming, she straightened up. But before I could reach her, somebody tugged at my arm.

I stopped, turning around to see Glenn. "Can we talk?"

I glanced back at Daryl and Olivia, who were watching us curiously, before turning back around. I wasn't really ready to face talking to Glenn again. I just needed to get out of the farm and away from him. "I- can it wait?" 

Glenn sighed. "Yeah, yeah." I started to move out of his grip to go on my way but he pulled me back again. "Actually, no it can't."

Daryl and Olivia took that as a sign to go back to the car and started to leave, Olivia shooting me a wink before doing so. I moved into a more secluded corner with Glenn, looking around awkwardly.

"Look, Glenn-"

"I'm so sorry about the other day," he blurted, catching me by surprise. "I acted like a complete idiot and-"

I snorted. "Damn right you did."

"I was just- I was really shocked," he admitted. "I didn't understand how a girl like you could have feelings for, well, for me. And I couldn't believe I was lucky enough for that girl to be the person I've had feelings for ever since we met."

I let out the breath I was holding, my heart pounding harder in my chest. Glenn had feelings for me too. I'd had a small inclination and I wasn't wrong. He hadn't shut me down, he'd just panicked. "Glenn-"

"Today, Hershel and Rick saved me. And I- I froze."

"Well, you were being shot at," I pointed out, unsure as to where he was going with this.

"I know, but-" he shook his head, looking away from me.

"You don't have anything to prove."

"All I've done, then this-" he gestured between the two of us, his eyes wild with emotions. "It's because of what you said."

"That I like you?"

"Yeah," he shifted on his feet, not making eye contact with me. "A bullet hit the wall behind me and I- I thought of you losing me, hurting. And I couldn't take it. So I hid to stay alive."

I felt my heart clench, feeling guilty for causing him to feel like this. "Glenn-"

"No no no," he shook his head, his eyes watering. "No, you don't get it. Rick, Hershel, they were counting on me and I- I only thought of myself. Because- because I love you."

"You-" I paused, breathing out. "You love me?"

He winced, looking like he instantly regretted every word that came out of his mouth. "Oh no, did I screw up-"

I shook my head, a small smile pulling at my lips. "Glenn-"

"I'm sorry-"

"Glenn-"

"It's just, well, I thought that-" I pulled at his shirt, bringing him closer towards me. He froze, his lips parting in shock. "I-"

"I love you too, Glenn."

He smiled, his eyes blissfully fluttering closed for a moment. He drew closer and I closed my eyes, feeling my lips parting as I waited for his touch. A few seconds passed before I felt our lips brush together, moving gently. Everything around us, all the bad stuff, it melted away. I suddenly felt like I was on top of the world; I'd never experienced such a beautiful feeling that made me feel so alive.

I smiled into the kiss, causing him to copy my action. We both pulled away and I gently lifted my eyelids to meet his soft brown eyes. "I- um-" I stumbled over my words, causing him to let out a quiet laugh. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, and glancing behind Glenn, I was well aware of Daryl and Olivia leant against the car watching us.

"I should probably go," I said quietly, feeling how rapidly my heart was pounding in my chest. "But I- I'd like to do that again when I get back."

"I could come with you-"

"No," I shook my head. "No, you stay here and get some rest." I pressed a quick, chaste kiss on his lips before stepping backwards. "I'll see you when I get back."

"Stay safe." He was smiling, but I knew him well enough to detect the worried look in his eyes.

I nodded, giving him a reassuring smile before turning around and heading towards Olivia and Daryl. The two of them wore smug smiles on their faces, which only got wider as I approached them.

"You and Glenn made up, huh," Daryl teased, shifting his crossbow to a more comfortable position on his back.

Olivia bit down on her lower lip and looked down at the ground, but it didn't stop her laughter.

"Shut up," I muttered, unable to hide the grin from my face, which only caused me to become more and more embarrassed. "Both of you."

The two of them laughed, Daryl heading to his bike whilst Olivia opened the car door. I headed round the other side, pausing when Daryl spoke. "Don't worry, we'll get you back in one piece for Glenn."

"I swear, I will run your bike off the road if you don't quit it."

Daryl chuckled, starting up his engine as I slid into the drivers seat. I turned to Olivia, who held a map out in front of her. She smiled up at me, looking excited to finally be going back to her group.

"Let's go."

❃

Words: 3077
Published: 10th September 2016

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