CHAPTER NINETEEN » CHANCES
"What are you holding on to, Blaire?"

♔

"You come here too?"

Daryl half heartedly turned his head to face me. He grunted, giving me a small shrug in response. Sighing, I sat down on the grass beside him, curling my knees up to my chest.

After I'd confessed everything to Glenn, he completely froze up and didn't say anything. I ended up walking away, regretting everything, my heart feeling like it had shattered into pieces. Things between us had been awkward for the rest of the day and I needed to disappear for a while.

I wasn't angry at Glenn. Well, I was kinda mad, but more at myself. I set my expectations too high and I ended up completely humiliated. I thought it would be like the movies, the happy ever after. But I was stupid to believe that. And it hurt, it really hurt.

"I'm sorry," I said, glancing at Daryl. "About Sophia. Getting over something, it's hard. I get it Daryl, I do. Finding Sophia kept you going. It gave you something to live for each day. And it hurts. Losing that thing, that hope, it hurts- I should know. But you're still here. And that's all for a reason," I shook my head, swallowing thickly. "I can't believe I'm saying this but, I need you. This whole group needs you. I know how much you've been through, I know how much this hurts. So if you ever need someone, I'm here."

Daryl nodded, not saying anything in reply. The two of us sat in silence, staring into the distance. It was a hot day, yet it still hadn't stopped us from digging the graves to bury the Greene's loved ones, along with Sophia. Everybody was exhausted, emotionally and physically. It had been a difficult past few hours.

"You know-" I started, a rustling in the trees cutting me off. Almost immediately, Daryl and I stood up, him grabbing his crossbow and me reaching for the gun in my back pocket.

There was nothing for a while until I heard a twig snap. The two of us stood back to back, my eyes flitting around to pinpoint the sound. Just as I was about to lower my gun, thinking it was probably nothing, there was another loud rustling and something started to stumble out of the woods.

I aimed my gun again, watching apprehensively as I tried to make out whether it was a human or a walker. A girl, my age, or maybe a couple of years older, tripped slightly as she came into our sights. I felt Daryl tense beside me and I tightened my grip on the gun.

"Who are you?!" I shouted over to the brunette, who froze on the spot, not saying anything. "I said, who are you? Why are you here?!"

Daryl stormed over to her whilst I slowly stepped over, still keeping my gun raised. "Gonna answer her or what?"

Daryl's voice was harsh and the girl flinched slightly before straightening up. "I'm Olivia Ross. I-"

"Show us yer weapons," Daryl snapped, cutting her off. "Weapons, now!"

Slowly, she held up a knife in her hands. "Drop it," I commanded. She hesitated slightly before letting it fall from her hands, watching the two of us. "Anything else?"

"No that's it," she replied as I started to lower my gun. Daryl kept his crossbow lifted.

"Have you been bitten?" I questioned, stepping closer to her, trying to identify any bite marks or scratches on her skin, as well as looking for any more weapons. There was a piece of material around her arm, acting like a bandage. "Scratched?"

"Not by a walker," she replied firmly. "I tripped and caught it."

Daryl glanced at me and I sighed, trying to think things through. She seemed decent enough but I didn't want to risk anything. Plus, it was usually Rick or Shane's call and neither were around right now. If we brought her back, Shane would probably explode.

"How'd you end up 'ere?" Daryl asked her, his crossbow still aimed.

"I went out on a supply run and a bunch of those damn roamers ambushed me," she explained with a sigh. "I tried to find another route but I got lost. Spent the night in those woods."

She seemed to be telling the truth. And she certainly looked like she'd spent a night lost in the woods. Her shirt was ripped and there were spots of blood and dirt all over the material. Even her hair had twigs and leaves tangled in it.

I turned to Daryl and shrugged, giving him a weak smile. Hesitantly, he lowered the crossbow.

"Come with us, we'll get you sorted out," I said, causing her to smile in relief.

"Thank you," she gushed. "Thank you so much."

Daryl snagged the knife from the ground and the three of us started to head towards the house. "Shane's gonna kill ya. And we definitely should have ran this by Rick first."

"Daryl, I honestly don't care if Shane throws another bitch fit," I rolled my eyes. "And I can deal with Rick, okay? Trust me."

We made it back to the house, which Rick, Glenn and Maggie were just walking out of.

Rick noticed Olivia first and frowned, heading over. Maggie and Glenn followed and I immediately felt myself become uncomfortable, doing all I could to avoid Glenn's eyes. "Who's this?"

I went to open my mouth but Olivia cut me off. "I'm Olivia Ross. You must be Rick..." She glanced back at Daryl and I for confirmation. "Or Shane?"

"Rick," he confirmed, glancing between us. "Blaire, care to explain?"

"She stumbled out of the woods. She's been lost all night," I replied. "I said we'd help her get cleaned up."

Rick narrowed his eyes at the girl. "How many walkers have you killed?"

She looked taken aback and paused for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing. "Um, a lot? Too many to count."

"How many people have you killed?"

Her brown eyes seemed to flicker with pain and guilt and she looked down to the ground, swallowing thickly. "One person."

Rick's accent cut through the tension. "Why?"

"He tried to kill my group."

Daryl turned to look at her. "Group?"

"How many of there are you?" Rick asked.

"There used to be a lot of us," she answered. "Twelve. We got split up a couple of weeks back. There's only six of us now."

"Are they gonna be looking for you?"

"Probably," she shrugged. "I'm hoping they'll stay put so I can make my way back to them."

Rick nodded. "Okay. We'll get you back on your feet, get you back to your group."

"Head inside, Patricia will fix her up,"
Maggie told me and I nodded as Daryl and Olivia started to move.

"I'll catch up with you," I told them, my eyes glazing past Glenn before looking back to Rick. "Can I talk to you?"

The two of us moved to the side, away from Glenn, who'd been awkwardly shuffling about during the whole conversation. "Blaire, I'm sorry it didn't work out with-"

I cut him off swiftly. "I don't wanna talk about that." He tilted his head to the side, waiting for me to elaborate. "If Olivia has a group, maybe we shouldn't rule out the possibility of our groups, you know, coming together."

"I haven't ruled it out," he said. "But i can't deal with it right now. Glenn and I are going to find Hershel, it's important."

"Yeah," I nodded, understanding.

"Look, I'm trusting you to take care of this one. If you speak with the others and they're interested in the idea of meeting her group, we can start to consider it. But I've got to speak to Hershel first. I know you can deal with this whilst I'm gone."

He placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling whilst I stuttered slightly. "Th-that- that sounds like a lot of pressure."

Rick chuckled as he stepped away. "I won't be long."

Rick headed back to the others whilst I made my way into the house. Olivia was sat in a chair opposite Patricia, who was stitching her up. Daryl was skulking in the corner, watching Olivia closely.

She smiled slightly when she saw me walk in and I gave her a small nod, pulling out a chair and sitting beside her. "So your group, can you tell me more about them? Where you're located?"

"There's six of us, not too far from here," she said. "We're staying in a cabin."

"And you got lost on a supply run?"

"There was a whole herd of them, roamers. There's no way I could have made it through on my own. I tried to circle back round but-" she winced as a needle pricked her skin. Patricia muttered an apology. "I lost my way. Next thing I knew it was night fall."

"And your people, they're gonna be looking for you?"

"They damn well better be."

I leaned forwards, resting my elbow on the table and my chin in my hands. "What can you all bring to our group?"

"Well, aside from me being some great eye candy-" Daryl snorted and Olivia grinned, showing she was joking. "I can make things go boom."

Daryl stepped forwards, interested. "Go boom?"

"I make grenades," she confirmed, a confident smile on her face. "Saved our ass a load of times."

"What else?"

"My girlfriend, Jade, she's our best shooter," Olivia said, her confident tone slipping slightly. Her bright, brown eyes became more defeated and she sighed heavily, seeming to find it difficult to speak. "And she's usually our supply runner, real quick on her feet."

Daryl stepped forwards again, bus eyebrows raised with a hint of amusement on his face. "Girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at his unnecessary bluntness. "Yes Daryl, she swings the other way."

"Actually," Olivia cut in with a grin. "I swing both ways." I felt my lips twitch into a grin and she laughed lightly. "Anyway, we're both pretty good with weapons. And then there's Liz, Cassie and Chloe. Liz is super smart, her quick thinking has got us out of a lot of sticky situations. Cassie and her boyfriend Tom, they're super hard workers. Chloe, she's just a kid but-" Olivia cut off, shrugging. "We can all pull our weight."

"What happened to the rest of your group?"

Olivia bit her lip, her eyes casting to the side briefly. "There were some disagreements. The group was split. Woke up one morning and half of them were gone, left a note saying not to look. Bastards."

"And if we found your group, would they be willing to join us? Obviously, this isn't our place and not our decision," I looked at Patricia, who nodded solemnly.

"I'm sure you'd be able to stay in the tents outside," she said, not seeming too into the idea though. It was understandable, considering the stunt Shane pulled.

"And we'd have to go on bigger supply runs," I said. "Your group has to be willing to put the effort in."

"Of course," Olivia glanced between all of us. "We just need somewhere safe to stay. If some of your group don't want to associate with us, we'll just stay away and do our own work." She turned to Patricia. "And if you and your family decide you don't want us here then we respect that. You've done more than enough already. But we'd be grateful for security and allies."

I pushed the chair out and stood up, beckoning towards Daryl to head outside with me.

"You're all stitched up," Patricia said, placing everything nearly back into her box. "I'll make you some food and see if Maggie can set up the guest room for you, if she's not tending to Beth."

I turned to face her, frowning. Obviously, we'd missed something. "What happened to Beth?"

"She's in a bit of a state," Patricia said sadly. "She collapsed earlier."

"I'm so sorry. If I knew I wouldn't have-"

"It's fine," she waved it off.

"I can do the food and the guest room, you stay with Beth," I offered, feeling guilty already. The poor family had been through enough.

"I can do it. Sounds like you've got some decisions to make with your people anyway," she glanced from Olivia, to Daryl and then to me. "I'm sure Maggie will come and find you if we need help."

"Thank you." I glanced back at Olivia, giving her a friendly smile before Daryl and I headed outside.

"You sure this is a good idea?"

"She seems harmless," I said. "Plus, our group is a mess right now. Maybe this is what we need to pull us back together again."

Daryl nodded, positioning his crossbow on his shoulder again. "I'll round up the others. Tell 'em to meet by the porch."

Whilst Daryl headed off to round everybody up, Dale and Lori beckoned me over to a conversation they were having.

"Hey," I greeted. "What's up?"

"This place is going to hell," Dale deadpanned, causing me to laugh at how straightforward he was about it.

"Yeah, I'm trying hard to prevent that," Lori replied harshly.

"You won't be able to," Dale said, staring at the ground. "There are people in this group who think that what Shane did was justified."

Lori sighed. "I know you two can't stand each other, but he did something that needed to be done."

"He's dangerous," Dale corrected.

"Yeah, he's a hothead," Lori defended, causing me to shake my head.

"You're right, he is a hothead," I shrugged. "And I agree that something needed to be done about the barn. But that- that wasn't the right way to go about it. Lori, he completely flipped and it was, well, it was scary. I can't be the only one struggling to trust him and his sanity anymore."

Dale nodded in agreement. "He's dangerous. And I think he killed Otis."
I frowned, as did Lori. We were talking about Shane but it still was a big assumption to make. "Otis was killed by walkers. He knew how to handle walkers. Otis was the one who was putting them in the barn."

"You need to be really clear with me right now. What are you saying?"

"I believe that," Dale paused, sighing. "That Shane sacrificed Otis. I can't prove it, but I-I think that he- I think that he shot him and left him for bait, so that he could get away."

"Shane may be a hothead, but he's not a murderer," Lori dismissed, looking at Dale like he was out of his mind. "And- and why would he kill somebody who's trying to help?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was pinned down. He said it. He all but threw it in my face. I'm telling you, I knew guys like him. And sooner or later, he's gonna kill somebody else."

Dale shook his head, heading back to the RV.

I looked at Lori, whose eyes were distant as she seemed to churn everything over in her mind. I closed my eyes, exhaling.

Was Shane really capable of murder?

~

"Seriously? You think the answer to our troubles is going to be a whole new group of people to provide for?" Shane scoffed, shaking his head. The majority of the group was situated by the porch steps and were reacting to everything I told them about Olivia. "And Rick's okay with this?"

"He told me to talk to you all," I stated, narrowing my eyes at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I thought it was a good idea."

"Really?"

"Look, you're not the one who's been left in charge of this," I stepped in front of him, my eyes burning into his. I wasn't going to just stand there and take whatever he threw at me. "I am. And yeah, you're entitled to your opinion, but you haven't even met the girl yet." I turned around, waving my hand around as I gestured to everyone. "None of you have."

"Don't you think we should focus on finding Hershel rather than this?" Andrea asked, looking back to the house. "Beth is in there and-"

"Rick is dealing with Hershel," I replied, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. "And no, I'm not dismissing Beth being a priority right now, but we can't just ignore this. Everybody needs to make a decision. Because Olivia is going to want to go back to her group tomorrow and we've got to give her news-"

"And how's she getting back?" Lori questioned.

"She can borrow a car-"

Shane shook his head. "No way. We're not just lending cars to strangers now-"

"Well if we let them stay then we'll get it back, won't we," I snapped, running a hand through my hair in annoyance.

"What are you holding on to, Blaire?" Shane asked, narrowing his eyes at me. I could feel everybody watching me and I silently cursed Shane.

"I'm not holding on to anything," I defended, annoyed by the position I was now in. "I just think it would be beneficial to our group. I'm trying to make good decisions. You know, not stupid ones that screw up our damn chances of staying somewhere secure!"

Shane let out a half hearted laugh, turning to address everyone else. "Are any of you seriously considering this?"

I scoffed, biting my tongue in order not to snap back at Shane any more. I was not going to give him the satisfaction.

"I think Blaire has raised some good points," Dale said, causing everyone's attention to turn to him. "And I think we should give Olivia a chance, and maybe even her group."

"Thank you Dale," I smiled, glad to have somebody actually fighting my corner.

"I'm with Blaire," T-Dog nodded, patting a hand on my shoulder.

"I suppose, I mean, what harm can getting to know her do?" Andrea said, glancing to Lori, who also nodded.

"Yeah. And I'm sure Carol would agree if she were here."

Shane huffed, tilting his head to look up at the sky in irritation. "Alright. But nobody's making any proper decisions about this yet."

Mockingly, I saluted him, not bothering to try and hide my bitter frustration with him. "Aye aye captain."  

The group began to disperse whilst I waited until everybody had gone. Shane stood where he was rubbing his hand over his chin. "What are you trying to do Blaire?"

"I'm not trying to do anything," I retorted back. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, my problem?" He stepped forwards, shaking his head. "My problem is that you-" he pointed his finger at me. "You are completely risking our lives for this- for some stupid girl!"

"It's called being a decent person Shane, try it some time!"

"Listen-" he grabbed my wrist, yanking me forwards.

"Hey man, get your hands off her!"

I ripped my arm from Shane's grip, watching as Daryl came over, standing beside me. Shane held his hands up in defence, stepping backwards.

"No you listen to me, Shane," I snapped, feeling my voice rise higher in volume with every word. "Rick said-"

"Rick doesn't know what he's doing!" Shane yelled back, the loudness in his voice becoming intimidating.

"You're just mad because you're not in charge for once!" I exclaimed, it all becoming clear. "You're mad that you lost Lori and Carl and your leadership! You're mad that even your best friend doesn't trust you anymore. Because guess who he trusts instead," I stepped forwards, smirking. "Me. He trusts me."

"You don't know what you're saying!" He stepped towards me again, his face flushing red with anger.

"I know exactly what I'm saying!"

"You're just a stupid girl with naive hope that you can keep going and survive!" He exclaimed bitterly. "I've given you chances. And you think you can lead but you can't Blaire, you don't know how to survive in this world."

"You've given me chances?" I scoffed. "I have tried and tried to make things right between us but you're just a complete and utter jerk, Shane!" I shook my head, stepping away from him. "I don't even wanna waste my breath. And for the record, I know exactly how to survive in this world. But what about you?"

Shane's jaw clenched and he stormed off elsewhere. I released a breath as Daryl moved from my side, leaning against the fence around the porch.

"You got fire inside ya, you know," Daryl commented, lifting his head up to look at me properly.

"He's an asshole," I said, turning to face him.

"But he's right 'bout one thing. Yer holding on to somethin'."

"I'm not," I dismissed, turning my back to him. "Not really."

"What's goin' on?"

After a while, I sighed, giving in and sitting down on the porch steps, causing Daryl to follow suit. "Why do you want to know?"

"I ain't bothered, Blaire. Just wonderin', you know, 'cos you usually talk to Rick about these things."

"I can't talk to Rick about this."

Daryl looked at me, arching an eyebrow. I groaned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before continuing.

"It's just, I'm worried about the group and where everyone's allegiance lies. I've been worried ever since Rick got here. Him and Shane, they're both natural leaders but- but they've both got different ideals. And a lot of people agree with everything Shane did, which I think is wrong. People are looking to him, but they're also looking to Rick and it's tearing us apart. The thing is, if this goes on any longer, the group is going to split and we're going to be in small numbers.

Olivia and her group give us a chance. You know what it's like out there, you and Merle were alone for a while. Well, so were me and Glenn. And Daryl, we barely made it. That was at the start of the outbreak, when our main threat was the walkers. Now, our other threat is becoming the people, the other survivors. There's a reason why they say safety in numbers. We're not gonna make it in small groups. And maybe if we weren't on such bad terms with the Greene's, I wouldn't be so worried. But right now, nothing is secure and I don't feel safe."

Daryl stared at me blankly for a moment, blinking. I swallowed thickly, glancing up into his eyes to await his response.

"Rick and Shane, they just wanna keep us alive."

"But they're killing us. They're tearing us apart and none of us are gonna survive without each other. You're right, they're trying to keep us alive, but so am I. We have two leaders, but it's not gonna be just a simple split in half. Plus, I mean come on man, Carl's a kid, Dale's not getting younger, and Lori's pregnant for gods sake! We need people and as many as we can get because I don't know about you, but I wanna survive."

I stared at him for a moment, breathing heavily. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I was being too paranoid.

"Lori's pregnant?"

My eyes widened as I realised what I'd let slip. "Oh my god I'm an awful person-"

"I ain't tellin' no one."

"Okay, okay. Thank god. I already blabbed to Glenn and I'm pretty sure she's still pissed about that."

"If you wanna give meeting that group a shot, I'll come with ya."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by his response. I always thought Daryl was usually 'team Shane' considering they had quite similar mindsets. I didn't think he really cared about this whole idea of mine.

"Might as well," he shrugged, obviously noticing my unsure expression. "Gives us all a chance."

"Yeah, you're right," I said, casting my mind back to what he and Shane had both mentioned earlier. "I guess that's what I'm holding out for. A chance."

❃

Words: 3992
Published: 4th September 2016

What did you think about Olivia? Is she to be trusted? Or nah? 😏

Sorry if this felt like a filler with unanswered questions about Glenn and Blaire - but it's important to their relationship that they spend this time apart. Lots of stuff going down next chapter though 😊

I start back at school tomorrow though ew ew ew