CHAPTER SIXTEEN » SECRETS
"I don't kiss and tell."

♔

"You alright?"

Maggie turned to face me, finally snapping out of her despondent state. "I'm fine."

"I saw the look on your face back at the well. Have you never seen one killed up close before?" I asked, tying the horse reins around a post. If I was being honest, I preferred walking.

Maggie didn't reply. "I guess it's kind of a shock. You know, being out on the road, we've seen a lot. Guess we've gotten a little numb to it."

A little numb to killing. Even if walkers weren't human.

"I guess so."

I followed Maggie to the pharmacy doors, where a cardboard sign was sat in the window that read: Take what you need and God bless you.

I glanced behind me, double checking there wasn't some horde of walkers following us that we'd happened to miss. I didn't want a repeat of what happened in Atlanta.

The bell on the door chimed, causing me to turn my attention back to Maggie, who was walking inside. The pharmacy was almost empty, shelves looking like they'd been ransacked. Just like pretty much every place I'd been to since the outbreak.

"I'll go see what antibiotics are left," Maggie said, turning to face me. "What else is on the list?"

My eyes widened as I remembered the lists in my back pocket; one of them being Lori's 'secret' list.

"Why don't you get started?" I suggested, my hand itching to reach Lori's list.

"What about you?"

"Um, I'm gonna look around, see what's worth grabbing," I shrugged. "Just some general stuff."

Maggie nodded, heading towards the back of the store. I picked up a blue basket in one hand and started to look through the shelves, chucking things in without really bothering to look. I glanced back, noticing Maggie engrossed in finding things. I stopped by the feminine hygiene section, pulling Lori's crumpled list out and opening it.

Pregnancy tests.

"Holy shit," I whispered, the sound of my own voice starling me. I spotted the tests on the shelf and quietly slid it into my basket. Quickly, I grabbed a couple of other things from the shelves, hoping they would bury the pregnancy test and it wouldn't arise any questions from Maggie.

"What have you got?"

My heart jumped as I picked up another box, unaware of what it actually was. I turned to face Maggie, taking a deep breath. "Jesus Christ please don't do that," I sighed, fiddling with the box in my hand. "And you know, like I said," my eyes wandered down to it and I suddenly realised the brand name. I almost choked, feeling my face burning in embarrassment. "Um...general stuff."

Maggie glanced at the box in amusement. "Condoms?"

I shrugged, brushing it off with a nervous laugh as I turned back to the shelves to hide my blushing face. "Yeah, I mean can't be too careful. Never know who I'll meet."

"What about Glenn?"

I swivelled my head around to face Maggie again. I raised my eyebrows. "Glenn? What about Glenn?" Our eyes met briefly before I shifted my gaze, casually putting a couple more things in my basket.

"I just thought-" she cut herself off. "Well, you two are pretty close."

I bit back a laugh. "We aren't dating."

Maggie's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "So you don't have anything going on?"

"No," I laughed. "Why does everybody always assume that?" I turned to face Maggie, who just shrugged. "Look, Glenn and I, we met the day the outbreak started. We haven't been apart from each other. We found the group together, we used to go on runs together. We rely on each other. So yeah, I guess we're close. But we're only friends, that's all."

Maggie seemed to be satisfied with my answer but she still had an amused look on her face. "Okay. You got everything you need?"

"Yeah," I lowered my eyes back down to the basket, the condoms sitting near the top. I closed my eyes with an exasperated sigh.

"Okay, let's get going then."

The two of us headed back outside, me still dying of embarrassment from the conversation we'd just had. After I'd spent five minutes struggling to get back on the horse, which had caused Maggie to laugh, we headed back to the farm. The rest of the way back was relaxed, and thankfully Maggie didn't bring up Glenn or the condoms again. We spoke about our family lives, me mentioning some of the great holidays my parents and I went on. Maggie told me some funny stories about her and her younger sister Beth. And before I knew it, we were back at the farm.

Whilst Maggie was saddling the horses back up in the stables, I quickly grabbed the pregnancy test and hid it in my pocket. Maggie came back with a smile and the two of us started walking back towards the house. The condoms were still at the top of the basket, and in order for there to be no more awkward situations with anyone else, I went to push it further down. Just as my fingertips brushed the box, Maggie stopped walking. Instinctively, I flinched my hand away, like I was a child that had been just caught going into the biscuit tin when I wasn't supposed to.

"You should take these," she said, picking them up with a sly smile. "I'll take the rest of the stuff inside."

"Um..." I trailed off. "Yeah, sure. Thanks, I guess?"

Maggie chuckled quietly, taking the basket out of my hands. "I'll see you later." With a smile, she headed towards the house, where Hershel appeared to be waiting.

Sighing, I glanced down at the box of condoms and shook my head. As I turned around to start walking towards my tent, I crashed into somebody, the force causing it to fall from my hands. Without bothering to look who it was, I dived for the box, desperate to hide it in case I'd walked into someone like Dale. That would have been awkward.

"Shit, sorry."

The other person's hand reached for the condoms first and I tilted my head up to look at them. Upon realising it was Glenn, I closed my eyes with a heavy sigh and started to stand up again. "Um," he started, colour rushing to his cheeks as he glanced down at the box in surprise. "Here you- um, here you go."

I took it from his hands, shoving it in my pocket, forcefully pulling my shirt down to hide it. "Thanks."

Glenn scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, his whole face now flushed. "So how was the run?"

"It was fine. No walkers, no people, nothing. Maggie was great, we got along."

"Did you get everything you, um-" he cut off, biting his lip as he appeared to hide a smile. "Needed?"

"Yes, thank you," I replied sarcastically, knowing exactly what he was referring to. It felt like my whole body was on fire with embarrassment and I wanted nothing more than to be swallowed up by a huge hole in the ground.

He nodded, his lips curled in amusement. "Cool, that's cool."

"I swear to god, breathe a word of this to anybody and I will feed you to the walkers."

Glenn chuckled, finally letting out the laughter he'd been holding back. "I'm sorry it's just-"

"I hate you so much," I mumbled, pushing his shoulder slightly. I was going to endure a lifetime of teasing for this.

"It's not like it's anything to be ashamed of," he said. "I mean, it's better to be careful, right? To be honest though, I never really paired you with anybody from the group so it's kind of a shock-"

My eyes widened. "No, wait, I'm not-"

"Who is it?" He asked, curiosity and something else in his eyes. Then he frowned, a look of distaste appearing on his face. "Is it Daryl?"

"Oh my god, no!"

"Shane?"

"What the fu-"

"T-Dog?"

"Glenn-"

"Rick? Please don't tell me it's Rick he's married-"

"Glenn, I'm not having sex with anybody in the group!" I practically shouted, wishing I hadn't spoken so loud. Thankfully, nobody else was nearby. "I'm not doing anything with anyone," I confirmed in a quieter voice.

"I'm confused."

"Look, I just saw them in the pharmacy and picked them up in case I needed them in the future, okay?" I said exasperatedly. "There's nothing going on with me or anyone else, and quite frankly, I'm appalled by the insinuations, you know none of them are my type." 

"Then what is your type?"

I grinned, shooting Glenn a joking wink. "I don't kiss and tell."

I turned back around, hearing him stumbling over words, not even managing a coherent sentence. Laughing to myself, I headed in the direction to Lori's tent. She was stood, glancing around anxiously. When she saw me, she seemed to release a breath and headed over to meet me halfway. "Did you find it?"

I nodded, handing the bagged pregnancy test to her. She took it with a nod, her eyes darting around. "You haven't-"

"I haven't told anyone, no." I replied, shaking my head. "And I'm not going to tell Rick." She nodded and I hesitated slightly with what I was about to say. "Or Shane."

Lori's eyes widened and I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm. "Blaire-"

"Look, Lori, I don't want to get involved with any of that. You need me to get you things on runs then I'll do it, but I don't want to talk about anything else. My loyalties do lie with Rick but they also happen lie with you now, and I have to respect your decisions. So I'm not the right person for you to confess or tell anything to. And even if it's just a scare, it's still not my place to mention anything to Rick, Shane or anyone else. It's only up to you to do the right thing."

Lori seemed too dumbfounded to reply so I walked away, shaking my head. Most of the group knew that Lori and Shane had a thing, no matter how hard they tried to keep it a secret. And not telling Rick about it had been making me feel awfully guilty. If I'd been cheated on, I'd want to know. Even if Lori did believe Rick was dead, she can't deny the fact it happened.

It was just the fact that Lori could be pregnant, and it was probably going to be Shane's child, that made me feel sick. But obviously it wasn't my place to do anything. I could only just hope that Lori would make the right choice before the lies spiralled out of control.

~

The next day, the group stood around the car, Rick sketching on the map lay out between us. "Morning guys. Let's get going, we've got a lot of ground to cover. All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far."

"I'd like to help," A boy, Jimmy, came over to us. "I know the area pretty well and stuff."

"Hershel's okay with this?"

"Yeah, yeah. He said I should ask you," Jimmy said, quite unconvincingly. I caught Shane's eye and he raised an eyebrow, probably not convinced either.

When I glanced over at Rick, his facial expression didn't seem to be giving anything away. "All right then. Thanks."

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me," Shane spoke up, still situated in the passenger seat of a car. "Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes her, right?"

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high," Daryl said, holding his hand up at his waist before turning back to button up his shirt. "It's a good lead."

"Maybe we'll pick up her trail again," I suggested optimistically.

"No maybe about it. I'm gonna borrow a horse-" he leaned forwards, pressing his finger against the map. "-head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot her."

"Good idea," T-Dog nodded, impressed. "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too."

I snorted, remembering the story Daryl had told us one of our first nights in camp.

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked.

Dale, who'd just walked over with a bag of guns looked over at Rick. "You never heard this? Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra."

Jimmy laughed, causing Daryl to turn towards him. "What are you braying at, jackass?"

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?"

Daryl seemed to become defensive, narrowing his eyes. "Do you believe dead people walking around?"

Jimmy merely just shrugged and reached for one of the rifles on the car hood.

"Hey hey," Rick reached out and gently took it from his hands. "Ever fire one before?"

"Well, if I'm going out, I want one."

"Yeah, and people in hell want slurpees," Daryl replied sarcastically, swinging his crossbow over his shoulder.

"Hey," I moved in front of him. We hadn't spoken since our argument the other day, but I'd already missed him when he first went out to look for Sophia. I didn't want to miss an opportunity to say goodbye today if there was a possibility that one of us wasn't going to have a tomorrow. "Be careful out there, yeah?"

Daryl just gave me a grunt and continued on. I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness, scoffing as I turned to face Rick. "You know where I am if you need anything." He nodded, giving me a small smile. "Good luck out there."

"Thanks Blaire."

I shot him a small smile and headed back to camp to see if Lori needed anything.

I was angry at Daryl still, although I didn't want to be. It had been days since the argument and it was getting stupid now. But I was way too stubborn to back down and so was he. I wanted to remind him that I still cared though, but then he threw that back in my face.

The sound of a guitar being strummed caught my attention and my eyes followed the direction of the sound to see Glenn on the porch. I smiled, heading over to him, stopping a couple of feet away. "Is that the guitar Dale found on the highway?"

Glenn looked up, setting the instrument at his feet as he stood up. "Yeah," he replied casually. "I'm not any good with it."

"I could teach you," I suggested, stepping onto the porch.

He raised his eyebrows. "You play guitar?"

"A little," I shrugged. "Piano is more my forté though."

Glenn held out the guitar. "Can you play something?"

"I don't remember much," I said, taking it and sitting down on the lawn chair.

I held it in my hands, feeling the weight of it and running my fingers over the strings. I loved music, especially at school. When I joined the Police Department, I didn't have a lot of time for music. It was nice to pick up an instrument again. Whether I could still play though, was a different story.

"Alright, let me play you this and see if you recognise it." I strummed the first chord and then the riff, which caused Glenn's eyes to light up.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit!" He exclaimed, causing me to chuckle as I struggled to remember the next chord. The two of us began to sing the chorus, stopping to laugh when I messed up a chord or one of us forgot the lyrics.

Once we were done, I set the guitar down by my feet, the two of us giggling. "Nirvana fan?" I asked.

"One of the biggest," Glenn replied, a happy glint in his eyes. "What about you?"

"More of a casual fan myself. But this is one of the only songs I can still remember to play," I smiled, leaning back into the chair. "God, I miss having music. Don't you?"

Glenn nodded with a sigh. "Well, at  least we've got you playing the guitar and my awful singing."

I chuckled. "We should totally write a song sometime and perform it. Your singing voice alone is enough to even make Daryl laugh."

Glenn nudged my arm jokingly. "Thanks."

"You know I'm only teasing," I laughed. "You're actually pretty good. I didn't know you could sing."

"And I didn't know you could play guitar," he smiled. "I guess you learn something new every day, huh?"

I nodded, staring out into the distance. We should have probably been helping the others out with something but for the first time in a while, I actually felt happy. I didn't want to do anything else, I just wanted to stay in this moment. If I could hit the pause button on time at this very second, I would. It was such a beautiful distraction from our horrible reality. Little things like this reminded me of how life used to be. And it was the first time in a while that I'd felt so elated and lifted.

I wanted to stay like this forever.

❃

Words: 2896
Published: 3rd August 2016

Glenn and Blaire are so cute I literally had so many feels writing this 😂