CHAPTER FOURTEEN » THE FARM
"Blaire, you're not religious."

♔

"Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?" The woman's voice startled me and I narrowed my eyes watching as the brunette, who'd took Lori on the horse, eyed us with suspicion from her seat on the porch.

"Uh, hi. Yes, we closed it," Glenn said awkwardly, obviously thrown by her sudden question. "Did the latch and everything."

"Nice to see you again," I said, trying to hide the undertone of sarcasm in my voice. There was something unwelcoming about the girl's tone. I completely understood it though, she didn't know us and she didn't want to get too close to us either. I felt the exact same way.

I started to hear T-Dog's heavy breathing beside me and placed my hand on his shoulder to steady him.  He looked like he was going to pass out the moment we struggled to help him out of the car. "We met before briefly," I then added, tugging my lips into a friendlier smile.

"Look, we came to help," T-Dog said. "There anything we can do?" The brunette's eyes flickered down to his arm, where blood from the cut was seeping through his bandage. "It's not a bite. I cut myself pretty bad though."

The girl started to move closer towards us. "We'll have it looked at. I'll tell them you're here."

"We have some painkillers and antibiotics. If Carl needs any," Glenn said, shaking the bottle that he'd pulled out of his bag.

"I already gave him some," She replied, opening the door, which let out a small creak. "Come on inside. I'll make you something to eat and take you to the others."

She led us into the small house and into another room. I swallowed thickly as I stepped inside, noticing Carl lay unconsciously on the bed in the middle of the room. Lori and Rick were sat beside him, looking absolutely exhausted. A man, I presumed the girl's father, stood up and faced us. "Hey," Glenn said, causing the two worried parents to look up.

"Hey."

I stepped forwards, putting on a sympathetic smile. I felt so hopeless, I just wanted to do something to help Carl and to help them both get through this. But there wasn't anything I could do. "We're here, okay."

"Thank you."

"Anything you need," I promised, giving the two of them a nod before slowly turning around to follow the other three out of the room.

~

I winced as T-Dog let out another groan of pain. After we'd eaten, Maggie, the brunette, and Patricia began to stitch T-Dog's arm. "You got here right in time," Patricia commented. "This couldn't go untreated much longer." T-Dog grunted in response. "Merle Dixon? Is that your friend with the antibiotics?"

"No, ma'am," Glenn replied, stepping out of the shadows to stand beside me. "Merle's no longer with us. Daryl gave us those. His brother."

"Not sure I'd call him a friend," T-Dog said, his voice strained.

"He is today. This doxycycline might have just saved your life," Patricia replied. "You know what Merle was taking it for?"

"The clap," Glenn blurted and I closed my eyes, slightly embarrassed by his awkwardness.

"Venereal disease," I added quickly. "That's what Daryl said."

"I'd say Merle Dixon's clap was the best thing to ever happen to you," Patricia stated.

"I'm really trying not to think about that."

I shuddered at the thought and gave T-Dog a reassuring pat on the shoulder as I stepped outside. With a sigh, I rested my hands against the white fence around the porch. The sky was dark, but it was still a warm night. I could hear crickets in the distance, strangely adding to the calming evening atmosphere.

I heard footsteps come onto the porch and I didn't even need to turn around to know it was Glenn. "You okay?"

"Fine," I answered nonchalantly. "I'm trying to pray so, you know, I'd like to do it in private." I wasn't really trying to pray, I wasn't even religious. Truth be told, Glenn should probably be the one mad at me, not the other way round. I tried not to be, but I still was a  bit annoyed at him for not standing up for himself in front of the others. But I knew I couldn't change that for him. Thinking back, I probably shouldn't have been so harsh about it either. Honestly, that was the only reason I didn't want to talk to him- because I felt so guilty about the way I handled the whole situation.

Glenn stuttered for a moment and I thought he was about to leave until he seemed to realise something. "Blaire, you're not religious."

I turned around and shrugged defensively. "I could be."

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "But you're not."

I let out a breath, leaning backwards slightly. "Okay, you got me. Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I shouldn't have interfered."

"No, you were right," he said, causing me to glance up. "I guess I've just got used to them doing it."

I looked up into his deflated brown eyes and immediately felt my heart begin to drop. "Listen, I care about you, Glenn. To me, you're more than just the guy who goes and gets supplies for us. And soon, everyone else will realise it too, ok?"

Glenn nodded, a small smile on his face. "Okay."

"We good?"

"We're good."

I smiled, taking his arm. "Let's go back and see T-Dog. They've probably stitched him up by now."

We hadn't been back inside long when Shane came hurtling through the door. Maggie and Patricia headed through to the room Carl was in, leaving the three of us alone. I shared a wary look with Glenn as we all sat in silence and patiently waited for news. After a while, Rick and Shane disappeared out the door and when Rick stepped back inside, his expression seemed unreadable. "Rick," I spoke up, noticing that Shane hadn't come back inside yet. "Everything okay?"

I stepped forwards as he motioned his head to the side, the two of us heading nearer to the door. Shane came back through, nodding at me as he passed. "Blaire."

"Shane."

Rick pushed open the door and the two of us stepped onto the porch. I shoved my hands in my pockets, watching him as we both seemed to gather our thoughts. "What actually happened?" I asked, after what seemed like an eternity of silence. "How did it happen?"

Rick scoffed slightly. "Hunting accident," he replied. "A man named Otis, accidentally hit him when he shot a deer."

"Jesus," I mumbled. "Was he the man in there stitching him up?"

"No, that's Hershel. Otis is- Otis is dead." I raised my eyebrow and Rick quickly continued. "Hershel needed a respirator for Carl's operation so Otis volunteered with Shane to go get one. But Otis never made it back."

"God that's-" I cut off, shaking my head. The world we lived in now was so cruel, so brutal. A man tried to right his wrongs and still got punished for doing so. "That's so awful."

Rick tiredly started to rub his hands over his face and I only started to realise, with help from the dim porch light, how tired he really was. His skin was sickly pale, his eyes had bags underneath them. Him and Lori had been going through hell. "If he doesn't make it-"

"Hey," I cut him off. "Don't think like that. He's made it this far." Rick's eyes shifted to his feet and he sighed, rubbing his eyes once more. I stepped forwards, wrapping my arms around him in attempt to show my support.

I didn't know much about Carl and Lori, I only knew things from what Rick had once told me. Even after all this time at the camp, I never really associated with them that much- I was always out on runs with Glenn or trying to calm down arguments between Andrea and Merle. I spent a fair amount of time with Carl though and grew quite an attachment to both him and Sophia; maybe it was that innocent charm kids still had that we didn't. The one Grimes I really knew though was Rick. And I knew how much Carl meant to him, how much he loved his son. It hurt having to watch a family go through that but it hurt even more when you cared about those people.

"Thank you, Blaire," he said as I stepped away.

"It's alright. I'll leave you alone to gather your thoughts." I gave him a  reassuring smile and headed back inside, trying to push away my anxieties about Carl not making it. I didn't want to think about that.

"Is he okay?" Glenn asked as I walked through the door.

I shook my head with a sigh. "Not really. Poor family, they've been through enough already."

The door to the other room clicked open and Maggie came rushing through, small sobs audible as she walked past. I stopped in my tracks, watching as she headed into the kitchen, her hand covering her mouth. Glenn and T-Dog glanced at me and I nodded, slowly following her into the kitchen. Looks like I'm comforting everyone tonight.

When I stepped inside, Maggie was curled up on a stool, tears streaming down her face. I realised she must have just been informed about Otis and immediately felt bad. That man died trying to save one of ours, I almost felt kind of responsible.

I moved into her sight, giving her a brief supportive smile. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Maggie shook her head, sniffing. "Do you wanna talk?"

There was a silence that was eventually filled by Maggie's small cries again. "I've known Otis since I was a kid," she sniffed again. "He's run this farm since before my mother died."

"You were close?" I asked. She nodded solemnly as I stepped to the side, eyeing some pictures on a fridge. "If you don't mind me asking, who else did you lose?" I glanced towards the pictures. "Which ones?"

Maggie stood up, her whole body shaking as she stepped towards the fridge, pointing at a picture of a short haired woman dressed in blue. "Stepmother," she choked out before resting her finger on a picture of a younger boy. "Stepbrother."

I placed my hand on her shoulder, giving her a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry."

"Have you-" she inhaled, gathering her breaths. "Have you lost people? Your family?"

I nodded, placing my hand against the counter to steady myself. "I'm an only child. My parents were due to go on holiday when the outbreak started. I don't even know if they made it to the airport, if they were on the plane or if they'd already landed by the time the outbreak started. I like to hope that they're out there, surviving, but either way, I know I've lost them," I sighed, my hand finding their way to my anchor necklace and squeezing it. "This group, they're my family now. We've lost a couple of people; Amy, Jim, Jacqui. My friend's daughter, Sophia, she's missing. It just sucks, you know. This whole thing absolutely sucks." I felt my eyes blur with tears and I blinked them away quickly.

"The kid in there, you care about him?" Maggie asked, seeming to have calmed down a little after the whole ordeal.

"Carl?" I replied and she nodded. "Yeah, I do. If we were to lose him too-" I cut off, biting my lip. "It would tear all of us apart." Maggie nodded and I tugged my lips into a small smile again. "Otis died trying to find a way to save Carl. You should be proud of that."  

"Yeah. I am proud," she returned a smile but her eyes were distant. I knew how much she was hurting. I felt this pressure on my chest, building up. It made me want to cry with her. "Thanks, Blaire."

"It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

But it wasn't. Nothing was okay anymore. We live in a world where our actions either cost us our lives, or cost us other people's lives. We have to make sacrifices in order for us and the people we care about to survive. But how long would it be until those sacrifices start to tear us down? Until those choices we make begin to dehumanise us? We hadn't been out here long, but I could already feel myself slipping away. All I could do was lie and reassure other people that things would be okay, and hopefully I would start to believe those lies too.

❃

Words: 2085
Published: 17th July 2016

hii guys, I'm back again. My exams are over and I only have one week of school left which means I've got loads of time over summer to write!

This was a bit of a filler chapter but the beginning of a beautiful friendship between Blaire and Maggie is blossoming and I'm super excited.

Also, I changed the face claim to Chloe Bennet because I absolutely adore her and I felt like she fit Blaire a little better.

Sorry for not updating in ages, thank you all for being patient 💜