Black

It felt so warm and soothing. Like the warmth of the sun on a wintery day. I felt like I was in paradise. But that paradise didn't last, and I woke up.

I was lying on my stomach, and that soothing sensation was coming from my back. I opened my eyes and saw a beeping monitor that was reading my pulse. Those lines appeared like some games.

That position was too uncomfortable for me and thus I tried to move, but I felt a sudden and sharp pain from my back that made me back down to that original uncomfortable position.

"Stop moving. You're not fully healed yet." I heard a lady's voice, and I did as she asked me to. It was familiar, but I couldn't remember who it belonged to. I could feel that person's hand over my back. I hummed in response to let her know that I heard her. I didn't know what she was doing, but that warm sensation was coming from her hands.

"Thank you very much, Lilith," I heard another woman's voice. It was so familiar. It felt like the humming of angels. I yearned to hear it again and again.

"His body. It feels different."

After that, I could feel that lady's hand roam around my body. That warm sensation travelled from my back to my limbs and then my head as if it had sentience. After a while, that sensation once again got concentrated upon my back.

"What the hell has he done to himself?"

"Something very selfish."

"Give me your hand." I felt one of that woman's hand leave my back. And after a while, she solemnly spoke.

"So this was what he found after months of searching. Too reckless, I'd say." That woman sighed, and after a short while, she withdrew her other hand too. That warm sensation disappeared the moment her hand stopped touching my skin.

"Try moving now," she said, and I followed her instructions. The pain was still present, but it was bearable now. I then turned around to face those ladies.

The lady nearest to me was so beautiful. She had silver hair but her most striking feature were her violet eyes and as I looked into them, that my heartbeats went into a frenzy. There was a crimson red elongated diamond-shaped tattoo in the middle of her forehead, and it only enchanted her beauty. I felt this familiar sensation from her. I just wanted to hug her.

I turned my head and saw another woman with long red hair. She was familiar to me too. As I looked at her, I heard voices in my head and I couldn't understand them. I turned my head towards that lady with violet eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" The lady asked me in a worried tone, but I didn't know what to reply to her. Who was she in the first place?

"I guess I am okay, but may I know who you are?"

"You don't know me?"

"And who am I?"

Her eyes became teary when I asked those questions. Tears fell down her eyes, and it hurt when I saw her like that.

"Don't cry. I don't like it," I told her. My words had so much power that she stopped it the next instant. But those tears were like a drop of dew on a blade of grass. Ever ready to fall down.

"I'll do as you say. Just..." she wanted to say something, but when she realized my condition, she stopped.

I tried to remember it all, but those memories were in a jumble. When I tried to untangle them one by one, they just flooded over and drowned me.

"Argh," I cried out in pain. My head felt like it would burst open and I stopped trying.

"Black," that lady spoke up in an affectionate manner and her voice was so... calming. I found this unknown sense of peace in my soul when I heard her voice. I again gazed upon that lady, and it brought me peace. I didn't know who she was, but she must be someone very special to me.

"Can you heal his head?" she turned towards the other lady.

"It doesn't work that way."

"Then what about his amnesia?"

"It must be a mental trauma... His memories... They should return." That red lady was unsure about it. But she hopefully said when she saw that the other one was sad. That lady with violet eyes then turned towards me as she lightly rubbed her eyes.

"I am Eve and you are my husband, Black." She said with a beautiful smile.

"You're my wife?" The fact that I have such a beautiful wife stunned me.

"And I am Lilith. You are my boyfriend," that woman in the back said, and I was shocked again. I was married. How could I have a girlfriend? And even if it was true, how come she was brave enough to say it out loud in front of my wife?

"Lilith!"

"Come on. It's just a harmless joke. I meant that I'm his only friend that is a girl." Eve didn't laugh at that joke.

"Very funny. And for your information, you are not the only one anymore." Lilith stopped laughing too when she heard Eve.

"I'll be going now. Go back to your city as soon as you can and keep him hidden. The fewer people know about him, the better," Lilith said after a brief pause. She started walking to the door while waving her hand. But something didn't feel right to me.

"Okay."

"Did I do anything wrong wifey?" I called her wifey to lighten her mood. She looked really sad by the fact that I didn't remember her. And it worked wonders. Her eyes lit up when she heard me.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You were just very selfish back then. Selfish to the point of selfishness."

"I am sorry." I didn't know what I did wrong but apologized for what I might have done.

Eve wandered her hand in my hair and looked at me with a tender, loving gaze. My heart melted down when I looked at her smile.

"It's okay, love. You're back and it's all that matters."

Eve leaned her head forward, and our eyes met. We kept looking at each while smiling.

"I love you," she said affectionately.

"I love you too," I replied. These feelings were from the bottom of my heart. This was the woman I so loved. I might forget everything, but this feeling... I'll never forget it.

Eve then moved her face and planted a kiss on my lips. I was surprised at her sudden action but I savoured that case. She wanted it to be a quick kiss, but I didn't. I wanted it to last longer. I craved that kiss from the very depths of my soul.

Her kiss had magical powers. As we touched, those entangled memories started to untangle themselves. I remembered those things that I had once forgotten. Those memories played in my mind like a movie fast-forwarded a hundred times. And I remembered it all.

I was forgiven!

She found me back. But... I also remembered the horrible things I did to Lilith when I let the darkness out. And Lilith still came to help me despite all that. There was no complaint on her face when I looked at her a while ago. How was I supposed to find peace with that?

When I came back to my senses, Eve had already backed off from the kiss.

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

How was I to tell Eve everything?

"Does it hurt?" Eve asked again. And I had to tell her. I shouldn't keep this from her. Whatever punishment I may face, I was ready.

"Yes, it does... Eve, I did something really bad to Lilith."

* * * * *

I couldn't find Lilith on that day. She was already gone back to her home. I was to rest, but how could I rest when those things hovered in my mind like nightmares. I pleaded with Eve to take me where Lilith is, and she agreed. It was early in the morning when we reached there.

I was standing in front of her apartment alone. Eve decided to wait for me in her car. Taking a step inside was so hard. I had no idea what I was going to do after going inside.

"You may come." I heard Lilith's voice from inside. She knew that I was there.

I took a deep breath and walked in. I looked around and found Lilith brewing coffee in the kitchen. Her crimson hair was tied in a nice bun. She was wearing a grey sleeveless top, not caring about the cold weather.

"How come you're here? Need my healing?"

Lilith spoke while looking straight at me.

"I remember," I stated. There was no change in her expression. She was as cool as ever.

"Nice."

I walked ahead to the kitchen and kneeled in front of her. Lilith was the second person I ever knelt to. But it wasn't shameful. It was my act of forcing myself upon her that was shameful. I could only hope that she can find forgiveness in her heart.

"Are you proposing to me? So greedy. You already have Eve and now you want me too," Lilith joked and acted as if nothing was wrong.

"I've come to you, not as a friend but a sinner. I can neither offer you my life not my love for they belong to someone else. Aside of these, your every punishment. I accept..." I raised my head and looked at her and she looked back into my eyes as if she was trying to see through me. "I am so sorry."

After a while, Lilith calmly spoke.

"You misunderstand, Black. I never blamed you. Even though you were so rough that it may appear like forced, it was not. You had my consent. Otherwise, I would have died rather than letting that happen. Even you couldn't have stopped my death then."

"But why?"

Lilith smiled at me when I asked that.

"Because I think I never fell out of love."

When she spoke, I remembered the words she told me when she professed. 'I think I've fallen in love with you.' Love it such a strange feeling. No one does it by choice. It hurts, and still, you can not stop it. But I didn't have any other choice. I can never accept her love, and that feeling was suffocating.

"It's okay, dear. I know it. You don't have to explain it to me." Lilith came forward and offered me her hand.

At that moment, I hoped that she would blame me. That she would be angry at me. She was too understanding, and it only hurt me more.

"Can I do something for you?" I asked.

"Well, if you want. I want to ask you for three things."

"Tell me. I'll do my very best to fulfill your request." Even though I had given most of me to Eve, I still had that flicker of a lifeforce burning inside me. Granting her requests was the least I could do.

"One, no matter what happened, we would remain friends. Neither you nor Eve would distance yourselves from me because of it." I nodded, and she continued, "Two, if one day, you find it in your heart a little space for me, take me in."

"That will never happen. I am sorry. I can not agree with this condition."

"It's only a big 'if'. I don't think I can ever move on. So I will be waiting. Who knows that one day my prayers might be answered... And three, if I were to get pregnant, you will not force me to give up on my child. I don't ask you to take any responsibility. I will raise my child on my own. I just want you to know."

That third request was so hard to accept. How I to tell this to Eve? But could I really ask her to give up? She only asked for hope from me. I wish I was heartless enough to crush that hope too.

"All of these requests, I accept."

I pressed my hand on my heart and with the remnants of my power, I created a Pandora's heart. It was much smaller than the Pandora's heart I created for Eve. I wanted to gift her the flames of resurrection. This ability would be very helpful for a healer like her.

"What is this?" Lilith asked. How could I tell her that? I was sure she would not accept it if I told her what was inside.

"A gift from me."

She accepted it, and when the Pandora's heart made its way to her heart, she instantly realized what it was and she was furious.

"Are you fucking making fun of me?"

That was the first time I heard Lilith curse at someone. But she wasn't at fault.

"You misunderstand. It's just a gift."

"That's a damn part of you, you asshole."

"I can not use it anymore. And so, I, son of Eden, decree that from this day, you are to spend your life protecting the angels as a Seraph."

I stood up and leaned in next to her ear. I could smell her sweet perfume.

"I wish, I pray... That one day you get the happiness you so rightfully deserve."