Ildri could not stop thinking about the unthinkable idea.  She had failed at wizardry, but could she still learn magic, if she tried another way?  She did not know, but at the same time she found herself walking through the halls, in the direction of the wizard's tower, quite without meaning to.

She looked at the heavy door.  Never before had she come to Lord Wildwood's rooms without an express invitation and even then it was a rare event.  She did not even know if he was there.

Yet she pushed the door open and began to climb the stairs.  He kept magical wards on his sanctuary and he would know she was there.

She knew that she was forgetting or worse, disregarding her place, but she did not care.  A strange recklessness had overtaken her.

Nothing barred her way and she found herself knocking at the door at the top of the spiral staircase.

"Enter," she heard Lord Wildwood say and she pushed the door open.

"How can I help you?" Lord Wildwood asked.  His voice was kind and patient as it always was, but he still looked uncommonly intimidating as he sat behind his desk, surrounded by all his heavy tomes full of wizard knowledge.

Ildri swallowed hard and tried to gather her thoughts.

"Why don't you sit down?" he offered.  Ildri quickly moved to a chair across the desk from him.  "Now, what is it, Ildri?  I know that things have not been easy for you lately."

Ildri swallowed again.  Lord Wildwood knew everything that had happened to her and she could talk freely to him about the things she was afraid of, if she could find the words.  She had been keeping everything inside for so long it was a relief that she did not need to watch her words.  "My lord, I have been thinking about everything we've been hearing.  Is war coming to Wildwood?" she asked slowly.

Lord Wildwood looked at her seriously for a moment.  "I cannot say for certain.  The future is as out of reach for me as it is for any other man.  But I will tell you that there is a possibility.  It seems that Scelus is moving more openly, finally, and we are not as far from the border as I might like.  And even if Wildwood escapes, the rest of Edelland will not."

Ildri nodded.  It was no less than she expected.  "I want to help," she said suddenly.

"Help?  You do help, Ildri.  You're a part of Wildwood and every part plays its own role."

Ildri nodded again.  "I know.  But I've had an idea.  I don't want to be helpless any more.  Maybe it's not a very good one..."

Lord Wildwood smiled.  "Tell it to me anyway."

"I was thinking...  Um, I suppose that I might like to learn magic."

Ildri was surprised that he did not dismiss her outright.  He knew of her disastrous attempt to learn from chef before.  "I recall that Missus Allendale tried to teach you before, but you have trouble maintaining control.  Did you have a new idea?  Something different than the conventional method?"

Ildri wondered if he already had an idea what she was thinking.  "I was thinking of something less, um, conventional.  I was thinking that perhaps I might learn the sort of magic where one makes... potions and such."  She left the actual word unsaid but "witch" seemed to echo through the air nonetheless.

Lord Wildwood was watching her.  "I must admit that I know very little of that branch of magic.  Until recently I disregarded it and I even harbored something of a prejudice against its practitioners, but I do believe that while the principles are basically the same, the methodology is different.  Unfortunately there is no one at Wildwood to teach you, and I fear that it would be dangerous to learn on your own, Ildri."

Ildri nodded.  "I was actually thinking...  I met someone who could teach me."

He nodded and waited for her to continue.  Ildri swallowed.  "Her name is Maxine and she lives close to the capital."

"Maxine.  I remember you speaking of her when you described your ordeal," he commented.

"She's very nice and very good at what she does, I believe.  She's the one who taught Ty.  I think she would teach me, if I asked."

Lord Wildwood seemed to think about everything for a long moment.  Ildri was certain that he would reject her request.  Instead he folded his hands in front of him, and smiled.  "I think that what you suggest will be very good for you, Ildri.  Go ahead and contact Maxine, and I will make arrangements for your travel."

Ildri felt shocked at the ease she was getting her request.  Under her surprise was a feeling she had not felt in a long time.  Excitement.  Ildri smiled.  "Thank you, my lord," she said and she hurried away to write a letter.

One week later Maxine's response came, and Ildri could only marvel at the speed of the messenger.  It had been a brief response.

I await your visit with great anticipation.

Maxine

It had taken a surprisingly short time for Lord Wildwood to make everything happen.  Ildri's head was still spinning when her journey began.

Lord Wildwood had sent an accompaniment of a half dozen soldiers, plus one who would stay with Ildri and Maxine for extra protection.  Ildri was surprised at the consideration, but Lord Wildwood said that the man could be spared, unless the situation escalated.  The guard's name was Allen.  He seemed to be at least twice Ildri's age.  He was rather handsome for his age, or so Hanna had told Ildri with a light blush on her face.

Ildri had not failed to notice that Hanna had been blushing and giggling a lot lately, most especially if Charles' name came up in conversation in any way.  She shrugged her shoulders and wondered if she had really been like that when she had been dreaming about Saul.

The three day journey to Maxine's home was uneventful, yet the soldiers kept up a quiet watchfulness that set Ildri's nerves on end.  It was close to dark when they reached the nearly invisible road to Maxine's house.  Ildri was glad when Maxine greeted her warmly then tucked her up into a comfortable bed in the guest room for the night.

* * * * *

The first day at Maxine's house dawned bright and sunny as if Ildri had turned a corner in her life.  She felt a beautiful positive, uplifting feeling, as if she had indeed done the right thing in coming to see Maxine.  She had not known what to write and she had yet to ask if the older woman would teach her.  If Maxine said no, she would just stay for a short visit before going home, she supposed.

Ildri could smell breakfast cooking as soon as she opened her door.  Allen was sitting at the table in silence and Maxine was placing a plate in front of him.  The food smelled good, if not up to chef's standard and Ildri was glad that she was there in the homey cottage again.

"Good morning, Ildri," Maxine said as soon as she noticed that Ildri was awake.

"Good morning," Ildri replied.  The soldier did not even look up.  Ildri ignored him.  "Thanks for letting me visit," she added.

"No problem at all, my dear.  I'm glad to have the company.  Here, sit down and eat," she said cheerfully, placing two full plates down.  Ildri sat.

Maxine scooted into another chair and picked up her own fork.  Ildri began to eat, marveling at how much better she was already feeling.  She was glad that Lord Wildwood had agreed to her plan.  Of course, it was all up to Maxine.  Ildri cast a glance at Allen.  She would have to wait until they were alone.

"So, how have things been?" Maxine asked between bites.

"Good," Ildri lied.  Maxine looked at her sympathetically, as if she understood.  "And you?"

Maxine smiled.  "Business is better than ever.  It seems that word of my little potions has been getting out.  Most people who use them won't readily admit that they do, but I suppose someone has been giving sage advice."

"Really?  Why?" Ildri asked, wondering if it was the prejudice against witchery.

Maxine smiled, "Few woman want to admit that their extraordinary beauty is a magical illusion.  Even fewer of my male customers would want to make such a confession."

Allen made a light sound of derision at Maxine's words, the first indication that he had even been listening to their conversation.

"Nothing wrong with a little magical assistance," Maxine said sharply.

Allen did not make another sound, but Ildri saw his jaw line tighten at Maxine's pronouncement.  Ildri did not know whether Maxine was ignorant of his reaction or deliberately egging it on.

Allen finished up his plate with calm efficiency and stood up.  "Just put it by the washtub, please," Maxine directed him.  He nodded and did as she said.  He left promptly.

Maxine smiled again at Ildri.  "Now that he's gone, tell me how you're really feeling."

"I don't know," Ildri said in a rush.  "When I left Wildwood all I wanted was to go back.  It's always been the place that I felt safe and happy.  But then when I returned, it was not the same.  I felt...  It wasn't the same."

"Ty did you great wrong," Maxine said gently.

Ildri leapt to his defence.  Maxine had no reason to say such things.  "No, he didn't!  It was a mistake and he even saved me later."

Maxine smiled sadly.  "It's too late, isn't it?  You feel some affection for him."

"No, of course not.  I don't know.  I just feel so bad, so bad.  It's my fault he's probably dead."

"Is it just guilt you're feeling?"  Maxine prodded gently.  "I know how you feel, believe me when I say that.  But I don't think that you need to feel guilty."

Ildri shook her head.  "But I went along--"

"Let me be frank with you, Ildri.  It's not your fault, and you should stop blaming yourself for things beyond your control.  He wouldn't."

"But—"

"Let me finish.  Those soldiers would have been there whether or not you had went along.  They were waiting for him, they knew where he was.  They must have been using a wizard to track him and shield them, because Ty should have known they were there.  I don't know how they got past Farrel.  And there were at least two groups coming from different directions."

"How do you know all this?" Ildri wondered.

Maxine's smile was secretive.  "I didn't spend my whole life living here in a cottage, alone," she said.  "But I suspect that when Ty sent you away, he knew that there was no way to avoid being caught.  He would have wanted someone to get the message through."

Ildri sighed.  "So he sacrificed himself for a message."

Maxine smiled again.  "I don't know how much sacrificing he did.  I don't believe he's dead."

"But he wasn't at the place where they rescued prisoners."

"Use your head, Ildri.  Do you really think that every prisoner is kept in the same place?  Ty was not your average captive.  He's escaped them before, he's probably somewhere very secure.  They'll be wary."

Abigail jumped up on Maxine and she scratched the rabbit absently behind the ears.  Abigail looked at Ildri curiously but Ildri's mind was on Ty and what Maxine had said.

"When did he escape them?" she wondered.

"I probably should not have spoken of it," Maxine said cautiously.

Ildri nodded, but she filed the new information away to think about later.  She knew Ty was capable.  If he had escaped before, maybe he could escape again.  If he was alive.  It was something to hope for.

"Just trust me when I say that Ty is not the sort of prisoner they would execute immediately.  They know he's full of useful information and he's hardly going to cooperate.  They'll probably try to get that out of him before they do anything rash."

"That's right," Ildri agreed mostly because she didn't want to talk about it any longer.  She decided it was as good of a time to change the subject as any and she still had not come to the reason for her visit.  "Maxine, please teach me magic," she blurted out.

Maxine looked at her as if she had grown a second head or had started breathing fire.  "You want me to teach you to be a witch?" she asked incredulously.

Ildri did not really want to call it that, but she supposed that was what it meant.  For a brief moment, she wondered if she should back down.  She would probably regret her reckless idea eventually.  What had she been thinking?

She could remember what she had been thinking.  She did not want to live the life of a helpless victim.  "Yes, I want to be able to take care of myself," she said with a certainty that was quite foreign to her.

"I haven't taught anyone for years, not since Ty was younger."

"Please Maxine.  Chef said I had enough magic magic.  She tried to teach me wizardry when I was younger and I couldn't make it work because of my lack of control.  But, I thought maybe a less conventional way might work better for me."

"Less conventional?" Maxine repeated, still sounding quite surprised.  Ildri suddenly worried that she had offended her but Maxine's manner seemed more of bemused bewilderment than anything else.

Ildri plunged ahead.  "I can pay you, Maxine.  I brought my savings.  And I can cook for you, too!  And chores, I suppose, although cleaning was never really my strong point.  Chef says I get sidetracked and that's when I break things."

Maxine looked at Ildri musingly.  "You don't need to pay me, but I'd be glad not to cook for a while.  But do you really realize what you're asking me to do?"

"Yes," Ildri said with a certainty she did not feel.  But she wanted power so that she could protect herself and everyone else.  She did not want to lose anything else.

"Witches and warlocks are not well received, Ildri.  Sometimes we're shunned outright, other times we're merely tolerated.  It can be very hard."

"It's also hard when you can't defend yourself," Ildri said stubbornly.  She did not want to be dissuaded, if she could help it.  Maxine could say no, but Ildri did not want to have to back down.  For once Ildri could be firm, she hoped.

"So be it, then.  I'll teach you what I can."

"Thank you," Ildri said.

"We might as well start immediately.  Help me clean up and we'll go outside and begin."