Ildri and Ty travelled with only scant breaks until after the last of the sun's rays were well hidden behind the horizon. The moon's faint light guided them until Ty finally decided that they would stop for the night. Ildri suspected that they would have continued all night if it were not for the horse needing a break. She could sense that he was anxious to get to the capital and his apprehensiveness increased her own. She knew nothing of the politics of the world but even Ildri could tell that serious things were in the works, things that could change the course of the future. Perhaps even things that would touch the haven of Wildwood.

She did not want that to happen. It was not just her own sense of selfish wellbeing that prompted her anxiety. She feared for them all. She thought of Lord Wildwood and Lady Theresa and their little girl, and of chef and her husband, and Matt and all the other people that she lived and worked with there. Even Missus White. Things were never perfect, but they were happy and safe. She did not want anything to ruin that.

But something was coming on the wind and it frightened Ildri more than anything else. More than being in the world away from Wildwood, more than the dark forest at night. Even more than being alone.

Ty was moving around and settling the horse in. Ildri looked over at him from her spot on the ground as he spoke softly in the horse's ear. It was only after he was done that he looked over at Ildri.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm scared," she said, biting her lip.

"Of what?" he asked, looking around them as if to find the answer to his question.

"Of everything," she said with a shrug. "Of all these things that are happening. I mean, is an army going to invade?"

"I don't know," he said.

Ildri shook her head. "But what do you think? You must suspect something."

"I don't know if I should speak with you about this," he said carefully.

Ildri felt hurt but she shrugged it to the side. "I won't tell anyone."

"Perhaps."

"It's worse if I don't know. I mean, I was happy not knowing when I was safe in Wildwood. But now I'm not there and I don't even know if Wildwood is really safe any longer."

Ty exhaled and sat down on the ground only a short distance from her. Even though they had shared a horse all day he somehow seemed closer just sitting there. "Nowhere is truly safe, Ildri, but Wildwood is one of the safest places that I know of. It was part of the reason that it was difficult to catch Saul."

"But surely Lord Wildwood..."

"He knew that there was a spy in his midst and he knew that I, or rather someone, was going to root out the traitor. But the king has his own reasons that I conceal my identity, and Lord Wildwood is a busy man."

Ildri nodded. "He's barely home anymore. He barely made it in time for the birth of his first daughter."

"His wife must have been upset," he commented.

"I think they were both upset, actually. Ever since she's had the baby she's been happier to stay home. But I know he hates being away. He would rather be with them. But he also wants them to be safe. I didn't understand, but now I think that I do."

"We've all had to make concessions," Ty agreed.

"What have you had to..?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about that," he said, but he did not sound unkind in his words.

"I understand," she said. Ildri tried not to feel rejected. He did not mean anything by it.

"I've probably already said too much. Ildri, I..."

"Yes?" she prompted, wanting to know what he had been about to say.

"I think we had better get some sleep," he finished.

"Of course," Ildri agreed slowly.

Ty quickly made a small fire and they both took their places on opposite sides. They did not talk any more that night.

* * * * *

"I was most impressed at how you handled those guards," Ty told her.

"Really? Oh, thank you," Ildri responded. The way that he looked at her made butterflies flitter around in her stomach. She smiled back at him.

"Ildri."

"What, Ty?" she asked in a happy tone.

"Ildri. Don't make me pour water on you again."

"Why would you..?" Ildri said and then realization dawned.

She opened one eye and looked up at him. Ty was standing there but he was not wearing the admiring smile of her dreams. He looked rather impatient. She groaned. "Let me guess. It's time to go again?"

"Exactly."

Ildri made herself get up and she washed her face in the small stream they had camped beside. The water was terribly cold. If she was at Wildwood the water would not be so frigid, she thought mournfully. She ate a bit of slightly stale bread and looked around broodingly.

He had somehow gotten everything ready to go already. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked, but he was doing something to the horse's saddle and did not seem to be really listening.

"Get up so early and get so much done." She was used to getting up early, but this was ridiculous.

"It's not that early."

"The sun's not even up!"

"We have a lot of distance to cover today. Surely you don't want to prolong this trip any more than I do?" he actually appeared a bit mystified by her words and irritation surged in her.

"Of course I don't, but I need sleep."

"You can sleep when we get there. There's only about another day and a half ride."

It sounded like an eternity to Ildri. She groaned again. "I don't know how you get by without sleep," she complained as he helped her onto the horse.

"I get sleep."

"Not much."

He shrugged. "Why don't you sleep while we ride? You did before."

Ildri could well remember the embarrassment of waking up leaning on him. "I can't do that!"

"Then you'll just have to endure a bit longer."

Ildri stuck out her tongue but of course he could not see it. She did not care. The small show of rebellion made her feel better.

Of course he was right that they needed to get to the capital quickly. But she just wished that he would be nicer about it.

* * * * *

The day dragged on rather slowly. She felt horribly exhausted, as if she really was as old as she looked. She wished that they could somehow arrive at the capital so that she could just sleep in a bed. She also wondered where the soldiers were. They had to be somewhere ahead, just waiting for her and Ty to fall into their grasp. And what if they were joined by reinforcements?

Ildri wished that she had not agreed to meet Saul that fateful night. Things would be a lot better. She would be safe and comfortable at Wildwood this very second. All the fear and sadness would have been gone. But she never would have met Ty.

So what if she never met Ty? She did not need to know someone like him, she told herself. After all, he was all wrong for her. He was not the sort of man who would consent to living a boring existence at Wildwood for the rest of his life. Ty liked excitement and adventure.

And she really did not know a lot about him, she realized. She did not know where he had come from or where he was going. She did not know why he did the things that he did.

She had known all that about Saul, or at least she thought that she had. But she had not known him that well either.

Ildri was struck by the unpleasant thought that perhaps she was as poor a judge of character as she was at everything else.

So how did she know that Ty was really what he said he was, especially since he withheld so much information from her? He had protected her, she knew that much. And they were travelling towards the capital. And people who were definitely bad were chasing them. Did that not indicate that Ty was on the side of good?

And as long as he got her to the capital safely did it really matter if he lied to her or withheld information? Of course not. And if her heart said differently, then it was clearly wrong. It was not as if she had been planning to marry the guy, was it?

She was not developing feelings for Ty. Ildri knew better and she barely even knew him.. He was the one who had killed Saul. She had to honour that memory, perhaps not for the sake of Saul who maybe did not deserve it, but because she really had loved him. Had she not?

Or maybe she had loved how he fit into her plans so well. Ildri sighed.

"What's wrong?" Ty asked her

"I was just thinking," she said quickly.

"About?"

"Saul," she said without considering.

"Oh," he said, and his tone made her wince.

She hurried to explain. "It's not what you think. Not really. I just know I should feel more grief and I don't know what I feel."

Ty's answer was curt. "Good, because he's not worth your tears."

"I suppose."

"Someday you'll meet someone who is," Ty said in a slightly more gentle tone.

"Really?" she asked carefully.

"Of course. One day."

And she supposed that day was not today. Which was fine. Only it did not explain the strange empty feeling in her heart at the words that he clearly had no interest in her. Her heart was so ridiculous. She sighed again.

She would not mope about for what was not meant to be, she decided suddenly. She would go forward with happy enthusiasm. No more thinking about the past. She was nearly to the capital, and it would be an adventure to experience the largest city in the country. If she liked it, she might even stay there.

It was such a foreign thought that Ildri was surprised. She had never thought to leave Wildwood before willingly. And when she thought about it, she only felt a pale shadow of the anxious ache that had previously accompanied the idea.

But Wildwood was home and thoughts of it brought a sweet longing inside her. She did not really want to live somewhere else, not really. But it would fine to perhaps leave the castle from time to time once all the unrest in the country was settled. She could go anywhere. Perhaps even venture to the spot she had lived in with her parents.

A wave of fear and sadness engulfed her at the thought. Perhaps she was better off to stay away from there. But she could go anywhere else. Perhaps she could visit someone that she knew. If she wanted to go somewhere Lord Wildwood would certainly not mind giving her a leave of absence.

Ildri could not believe how free she suddenly felt. She could go places and see new things, and know that her home was waiting for her to return.

If the coming war did not destroy it.