The aged van seems less than impressed as it idles in the chill winter morning. Plumes of warm fog from the exhaust swallow the back of the vehicle like a bad omen and I almost would rather walk. Much as I hate shivering in the cold, I wasn't much of a fan when it came to the less-than-stellar craftsmanship of unqualified men reading yellowed manuals from a history museum. 

The chain-wrapped tires only add to my lack of enthusiasm but it was truly Gabriel's consistent gaze that gave me pause. Even when I met his eyes, he didn't bother to look away. He wanted me to know that he saw me or perhaps he was trying to decide how to best deal with me considering my bodyguard was proficient at killing our kind. 

I step closer to Pascal and she seems grateful for the body heat, our warm breath freezes in the air as I attempt to warm the atmosphere around us. 

Simple magic had become difficult, where I thrived in the advanced maneuvers, the ease of such a task could be so remedial that my brain almost refused. From inside the hotel, Verando immerges and snugs a toboggan down over my head, smoothing it over my ears. 

"It snowed quite a bit in Romania if I do recall." He teases, knowing full well that my chill was secondary to my condition. 

I don't bother with a rebuttal, happy for the hat that he seemed to have warmed in his jacket before giving it to me. I unzip his jacket, slipping my arms inside to wrap around his waist. Resting my head on his chest, I sigh contentedly as he curses at my chilled hands. 

"That's better... How long before we're in Romania?" Glancing up at him from my position, I note that Gabriel is still watching me. 

It'd be a lie to say I wasn't purposefully putting myself close to my greatest protection. It was a silent warning, Verando would get in his way if he tried anything. 

"Well, right now we're in Hungary. So, I'd say a few hours. Still no contact, I'm going to assume that's not good. There might be some walking." 

This seems to displease him as much as it does for me. 

Pascal frowns. "In the middle of winter?"

Verando pulls one corner of his mouth down. "We've done it before. This time there won't be rabid wolves chasing us." 

I resist the urge to smoothen out the lines and brush my fingers through the stubble. It soothes me, keeping at bay the horrible memories of narrowly escaping hordes of beasts. 

"Home sweet home..." Fadri grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest, he had remained in his Kestrel skin. 

Turning his attention to Gabriel, my progeny's eyes flick up as if they were glancing into the distance as Verando settles on him. "You've been going back and forth, some detail would be nice. You've been quite cryptic."

Gabriel had seemed unwilling to reveal much about my home, only that Fergus was in a safe place and we would be safe in that location. This was all with the hope of getting us to use a portal instead of traveling on foot. The man didn't travel anywhere on foot willingly as he said it exposed him, little could he fathom the cruelty of a warlord that would happily put us on a death march if it meant getting to his destination. 

Pulling his cloak closely around his shoulders, Gabriel firms up his answer before speaking. "I assure you, I've not been cryptic, for it is that I don't know what lies beyond the castle. I do not venture out into the territories of Romania, I do not need to. At one point, it was the source of all the world's lore. Now, with the way things are, I'd wager that it's been long forgotten."

The sense of abandonment I felt for my people wedged a cold stake into my chest. I squeeze the lycan and he pats me reassuringly. "Perhaps there will be some game, then." Verando exhales, accepting the lack of an answer. 

With a glint in his eye, Gabriel smirks, tipping his chin curiously. "All kinds, I'd imagine." 

Climbing into the van, I'm happy for the contact with Pascal as Fadri takes the front seat and Gabriel takes the far back to avoid the uncomfortable sharing of space. The driving makes me car sick and I had no desire to be in the front seat. I'd tried to sightsee but it only proceeded to darken my mood, the cities we had passed through looked much the same as the crumbling ones we had left. 

Buildings were in states of disrepair, people were plentiful but thinner in weight than was to be expected, it was the beginning of an era of self-preservation. Out from under the thumb of their oppressors, learning to survive while fighting a war had taken its toll on the civilians. Us and them,  forced to leave them behind to fight against solitary hordes of humans and magic users. 

We saw bustling groups of smiling faces and confidence, amidst the dirt-stained slush and cobbled together cities. The closer we were to France, the more it appeared that our plans were working, that sending out these bounty hunters to teach and educate had been a fruitful effort.

 But for every positive, there were negatives of total decimation. Burned to the ground, the ruthless anarchists attacked neighborhoods instead of cities. Lumbering ghost villages of skyscrapers and vacant shops in pristine condition, only to look past burned apartment buildings and subdivisions. 

The cleansing kept up with our pace of rebuild, for every town that could defend itself, there was another wiped off the earth. We hugged the coast as long as possible, not wishing to venture further into uncharted territory than necessary. At least bordering the sea, I would have some ability to protect us. 

At least, until now. 

Before us lay the barren wasteland of dead space, the badlands in an expanse of snow where entire cities had been wiped clean during the sets of massive storms rolling off the sea. What would come after could be any variety of things. Using the GPS to guide us through the rough terrain, I couldn't help but wonder if any bump or bobble was a piece of earth or a frozen form that would occasionally protrude from the snow. 

Many tried to exist in the badlands, most to perish in the harsh climate and lack of support, it was the only place magic users felt safe. It was among our kind where I felt the most at risk. 

I stopped looking out the windows, I didn't need to know what was out there. 

"Why haven't we seen anyone?" Pascal finally asks. 

Verando appears to have been wondering this too, for the question does little to change his expression. Normally someone would attempt to chase us, at least for a little while. Cars were rare if not nonexistent, our electrically charged vehicle allowed us small liberties in our journey in that most could not keep up with its top speed. There was a distinct lack of elemental pursuit, most gave up quickly before even attempting to run us down. 

"Because no one wants to go where we are going." Fadri allows, glancing at Verando to confirm his suspicion. Verando gives nothing away, his stern expression reflects on me in the review mirror. 

"We're in the middle of winter, I'd imagine this is pretty uninhabitable," I respond firmly, gesturing to the miles of white surrounding us.

Gabriel grunts, "Don't be so sure."

His words effectively end the conversation about the lack of civilians. Pascal huddles closer to me, unlike her in her usual prickly behavior. "Nic, tell me about your home. What's it like? I've never been to a castle before."

Blinking away the surprise, I hadn't thought too much about the structure of my home. Would it even resemble anything of what I had remembered it as? What had four hundred years done to the stone? "When I lived there it was... large." I try and picture it, it had seemed so normal to me before living in the small, modern homes. 

As a child, I had imagined everyone had their castle, we had so few outsider friends. 

The friends I did have were all royalty, with their manors and dwellings, it wasn't done to live in a 'commoner's home. My father had appointed homes built for those of our lords who couldn't quite swing the build of a grand living space, I remember the quick succession in which our court was appointed a new residence as soon our lycans had become able to function.

 With a shudder, I try and focus on the positives. "Before it fell, it was full of paintings, we had ballrooms and large dining halls. A few grand libraries, rooms, and rooms... I remember getting lost when I was a boy."

"Fell?" She raises an eyebrow. 

I chuckle darkly, shrugging my shoulders, "Conquered. The lycans burned the majority of the magical books and family paintings, there wasn't much left of it when I left it beside the stone. Just a bunch of big empty rooms, there was a throne but Tonic saw to the destruction of that with an impressive blood bath-"

Verando's hand tightens on the steering wheel, I flinch at the high-pitched groan from the material as it threatens to snap under his iron grip. Folding my hands in my lap, I offer Pascal an apologetic grimace. She seems unbothered, captivated by the imagery. 

"Wow. You truly were a prince... I almost feel bad for being so mean to you." 

"Don't, most people were." If only she knew how true that was. "Not all of it was undeserved, royal children can be a bit pompous."

"What were the balls like?" 

A part of me would love to snicker but my years of training keep me composed. "As you'd imagine, I'd say. Lots of dancing, it was more of a political thing than a party, a hope to wed off the children. Unfortunately, with my interests, I didn't get to enjoy much of that aspect though I did love to dance at one point." 

I got over that quickly with my height, looking up at women in heels never did much for my self-esteem and the giggling could only be tolerated for so long. 

"Sometimes, we would have a play and get to participate, we'd put on a show for the guests and my mother would allow us to steal sips of wine. I did enjoy that, it was nice to pretend to be someone else."

Hearing myself speak in the silence of the car, I realize with the help of her expression how unimpressed I sound with my old life. In truth, I had been, I preferred this one tenfold to the life I had led before 'Alpha' strode into it. Perhaps that's why it was so easy for me to speak of it now, I'd never trade what I have for what I'd had. 

I was a lonely boy, squaring up to lead a lonely life should the path have continued after school. As a monk, I wouldn't have been expected to marry but it was only a perk for my parents to pretend I wasn't satisfying men. 

Not that I'd been promiscuous before I'd gotten to school, not in the entirety of the sense anyway. 

Clearing her throat, Pascal glances down at her lap. "You know, I keep expecting you to be a jerk. I was expecting you to talk about the money or how many chariots you owned-"

I can't help but laugh. "Carriages?"

She punches my arm with a scowl. "I'm trying to compliment you! Anyway, I'm glad you're here. I feel like people need to know where you came from, I can't help but feel nobody even knows who you are."

It was that way be design, I didn't want people to know my history for it didn't define me. I never asked for any of it, I was too busy fighting to keep my current self alive. Shrugging off the discomfort of the punch, I steal a glance at Verando in the rearview. 

"Some people know me quite well and that's enough for me. The past needs to stay in the past." I want him to forgive himself, to move on as I had. 

The sign dictating that we'd crossed in my home country passes on the left and my eyes search desperately for anything familiar. To my dismay, it's more of the same. The spread of farmland would be quite unimpressive compared to the cities anyway. Luming in the haze like frost giants, it's hard to tell if any of the dwellings are populated. 

"We should be just a few hours out. Dezna is not far from the border." Verando cuts through the silence. 

The anxiety causes my pulse to skyrocket. The thought that this was nearing completion made me almost euphoric amidst the stress, while I knew the war would rage on, the world would continue to spin. Xavier could grow up, I could become a lycan, and we could live our lives. It was a conflicting feeling that left me in a whirlwind of emotion as I caught his eyebrows pulling down in the mirror. 

Straightening, I edge to the front of my seat to look out the windshield and spy the heavy black tree line ahead. Like a wall, it cut straight across our path as if it had been placed there purposefully. In the mirror, I see that Gabriel is staring at me again. I refused to lose his gaze, holding it as long as I could manage as the car slowly rolled to a stop. 

The road was gone, swallowed by trees beforehand. 

"Can you get a read on the dark magic?" Fadri whispers as if he were afraid to speak too loud.

Reaching out with my magic, I could feel nothing in response. The forest blocked out all else, heavy and dark firs and wintering trees loom in a dense fog that swallows anything in the distance. With so much fog, tracking a path would be next to impossible. 

"This is why I don't travel on foot." Gabriel retorts dryly. 

Verando unbuckled his seat belt, his eyes flicking back and forth as he calculated the density of the trees. "I think we should assume the worst and hope for the best, there aren't many of us and we all have some form of ability or talent. We should be fine as long as nobody tries anything foolish. I bet the hunting is good."

Fadri scoffs, leaning back into his seat. "Oh, that was my main concern, the hunting. Not the endless darkness of this tree line."

"Don't be a child, Fadri." Verando turns to face us, sizing up my expression. I don't know what to make of the trees, I don't remember the forest ever being so dense. "It's only a day or so on foot. It'll mean a night in the woods."

Resisting the urge to groan, I nod. I'd done it before, I could do it again. "One night? Easy." The confidence I'd willed doesn't touch my voice. "Don't forget this is a mountain range. It might be more than a night, we aren't lycans." 

This seems to dampen his mood in the slightest bit, he opens the car door and hops out to move the back of the van. I take this as my cue to do the same much as my body resists stepping back into the cold. 

The night temperature would be below freezing, I wasn't looking forward to the prospect of sleeping outside. But, I could fashion us a shelter from the snow and that might be acceptable. "Take only what's necessary. Any extra weight will slow us down." Verando instructs the group as he stuffs two outfits for each of us into his backpack. I sigh as he hands me a knife to put on my belt, fumbling with the buckle as he loads his own body with weapons. 

"What do you think is out there?" Fadri asks, exasperated. "Must you take so many weapons?"

"I'll ask you that when you're being devoured by something big, hairy and hungry." Verando checks the scope on his rifle, cycling the pull action a few times before slinging it over his shoulder. "You'd be smart to arm yourself, or don't, we could use bait." 

I elbow my husband with a sigh, hoping to encourage him to soften his tone. 

Pascal loads her hips and belt with an assortment. It's only Gabriel who takes nothing, not even clothes. He stands before the woods, passing his hand slowly back and forth. I attempt to get a read on his gesture before flinching at the splitting headache. The vision comes crashing back, threatening to blind me with the thick, heavy red and the metallic taste on the back of my tongue. 

Gripping my temple, I lean against the side of the van and fight to keep my breathing steady. Words swirl around in my head, a room at full volume, a train station overflowing in comparison to the noise. 

"Traitor."

"We trusted you."

I hear my own voice, I feel the wrath darkening my vision. A hand touches me and I charge my fingers as I sling my palms to defend myself. When I open my eyes, my hands press to Verando's chest. He's holding onto my forearm to stabilize me, frost coating his jacket. 

Quickly, I retract the ice and mutter an apology. 

"Are you okay?" Concern hints in the undertones of his calm demeanor. I stabilize myself as best I can, focusing on the dark colors of his jacket and the way his cargo pants hugged his hips. I focus on the light colors contrasting against the darks, his hair playing off the colors of the snow in the light, silvery tint. 

It grounds me, convincing me he is real and not some hallucination. I couldn't afford to lose it now, not when we were so close.

I nod once, glancing at Gabriel who finishes his scan, assuring myself that he hasn't moved. "Never better. Let's just get this over with, I don't want to be out here any longer than necessary." I resist the urge to kiss him as the backs of his fingers trail over my cheek, assuring himself that I truly was alright. Leaning into his hand, I give him by best smile that I can manage. It comes out more as a grimace. 

My tone answered his questions, I was unwilling to dive further with certain parties close by.

With a nod, he leads us into the dark, dampness of the forest.