My fingers trail absently over the keys of the hard, plastic board holding various letters of the alphabet. Technology would never cease to amaze me, the thought that one could write out books and articles so simply with one of these devices, hooked by minor pieces of cordage to massive screens.

The makeshift office felt more like a panic room with the ensemble of electronics clouding every open space for its use. I note Verando returning to the use of the implants to protect his sensitive ears from the hum of the computers that even I could hear. It made me uncomfortable, knowing he'd be on a delay and knowing that I relied on him that heavily. Wordless, I approach to assist him in turning the device up with its tiny dial.

We were like satellites, him and I. I could never put a finger on it until I came to this time, two things orbiting around one another, pushing and pulling, wherever he went- I followed. Pursing my lips, I ran my hand through his hair to smooth it over. 

The tangled locks often refused to follow any sort of order, a clear contrast to his personality nowadays. In front of Bet and Landon, I at least didn't have to pretend though I could tell he would have appreciated a bit more professionalism, it wasn't often that he would shrug off my affections.

Handing Xavier over to Legardo so that we could meet uninterrupted had been harder than I thought it would be, putting me in a much more vulnerable state. I needed that contact, my arms craved to hold the little boy, I'd have to settle for his father, which stirred a whole new set of emotions in me.

I drum my fingers on the table, with Bet and Landon now in the same vicinity, I'd probably never escape the continuous droll of meetings when things could be easily concluded in just a few sentences. "Nicolas?" It's Verando's voice that pulls me out of my fog and I perk up to meet his gaze, reminding me of the position I held. "I imagined you would have had more commentary...?"

Clearing my throat, I straightened and noted that he didn't want to point out my obvious lack of focus. I thank him with a tiny smile before turning my attention back towards Landon and Bet, she gives me an irritated glance before pulling up the screen once more. It wasn't my fault, Verando was my head of military operations. I felt quite unnecessary at the majority of these gatherings, the more that I thought about it, the more my mind wandered to more important things like dinner and my child.

I was slowly approaching burnout, I'd entertained thoughts of peace for far too long.

"As I was saying, our bounty hunter armies are holding strong though there are still breeches in security, we grow in numbers every day. Human militaries are beginning to mobilize as Caspian gains courage and begins to attack human cities as opposed to our forces. I imagine he thought he would gain easy access to military bases but we were better prepared than we could have hoped."

The screen flashes with images of the raids and in most of them, we were on the victorious side. Our concept was slowly beginning to prove itself. For a moment, I allowed the small glimmer of hope to shine across my eyes. The training was paying off, empowering the people who had motivated them to step up and take back their cities.

Bet gestures towards the screen as she pulls up an image of a vehicle. "This is a prototype of one of the motorcycles we're working on. They're hard to build but they're coming together quite nicely. We were able to recover blueprints from some of Caspian's hidden files that Landon tracked down, those made this a lot easier."

Verando's frown deepens, he lifts his hand to slowly stroke his stumble with his knuckles. 

"What is it?" I ask, I'd assumed he'd be thrilled with our progress.

"He's not growing bolder, he's simply lashing out. He's getting upset." Verando summarizes.

"It's been twenty-four hours." I point out with a frown. "These have been going on for days."

Allowing his gaze to drift towards me, he offers only patience. "Would you be okay if Xavier was gone for twenty-four hours?"

No. But I wasn't a lunatic.

Pursing his lips, he considers my second sentence. "I'd like to send command down the line to not change anything about the amount of coverage we're maintaining. Do not let him see our true numbers, withhold if we can. I don't like this, it feels like a test." 

Landon's lips part and Verando narrows his eyes. 

"It's what I would do. It's what I did. Get a good look at the enemy before a true strike, he's losing too often for this to be entirely accurate."

Bet blinks away her surprise and turns her attention to me. "I... I'll be honest here, I'm afraid of him but I've been told to listen to you. Some guidance would be nice."

Glancing back and forth between the two, I'm afraid I'm not much help when it comes to decision-making in my current state. "In a court, it is customary that there are certain roles allotted to others, the King is more so an overseer than he is the great.. decider. Verando's the best we have when it comes to military knowledge, I'd think it's a safe bet to listen to him when it comes to Caspian, as I'm sure you've seen in your time with him."

This seems to bring her a sense of relief that she wouldn't have to go against the silver-haired male. "And where do we fall into this court?" She questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Honestly, it's been so long I'd have to refresh my mind on the inner workings of a court, I don't even think it'd be called that in today's time. But, I do think that's a very valid question." 

I hadn't given it much thought, it'd been happening organically and the need for titles had been admittedly pushed to the side. "Perhaps we should arrange a meeting on that, as well."

Stiffening her chin, she nods. "Perhaps." Her mocking tone amuses me and I roll my eyes.

"The presidents of Germany and Italy would like to speak with you. I've arranged a meeting in the morning to speak about military strategy, it would seem our concert was a success in that it made half of the planet consummate whatever you were hoping to christen. There's a huge influx of humans heading for the capitol is see the final performance and the wedding, which I've set for Christmas day." 

This fact seems to bring her a great amount of pride as she squares her shoulders and returns her glasses to the bridge of her nose.

Of course.

I try desperately not to sigh, it wouldn't matter, we wouldn't be attending anyway. It just meant our last chance at a holiday, if this goes poorly, would be spent without the real feel I'd been hoping for. Part of me wants the pain of disappointment as another reason to be resentful for my part in this atrocity. I knew it was ridiculous to feel such a way about being the savior of the planet.

My stomach growls in complaint, I'm ready for dinner and for this to be over.

Revitalized from rekindling with my husband, I'm feeling much less ready for war and much more prepared for a night in with my family. Glancing at the paleness of Landon's slim face, I could see he was as much ready for the conversation to be over as I was.

"Any luck on pinpointing Gabriel and Fergus?" I was ever hopeful that one day that answer would be yes. She frowns at me, shaking her head.

"Gabriel hasn't moved. He's either removed the tracker or he's injured and resting."

"I'd imagine he's guarding Fergus, we're getting rather close to the first of the year." Verando allows.

Landon pressed his hand to his forehead, grimacing. 

 "Right..." I mumble, perhaps I'm not the only one feeling the crunch of so much pressure. "Bet, why don't you and Landon join us for dinner?"

"Oh lord, please no." Landon groans, scrubbing his short hair. "I can't take the tension. Too many lycans, too many..." His eyes dart to Verando and he shudders. "I'm sorry, Mr.Mercer, you just... freak me out."

My husband responds with a casual, particularly toothy grin that doesn't touch his eyes. Landon flinches and I swat the silver-haired lycan in a quiet scold. 

 "Verando and his family are quite tame, you like Helen I thought?" 

It's a plea bargain, a way to feed the socially awkward teen and apologize for using him as a weapon for the last month.

Landon quickly shakes his head. "With all due respect, your er... Majesty, .... I've seen enough of lycans to know that I'm quite happy keeping my distance from them. Helen, yes, is tame." 

Once more those dark eyes lock on my husband and he returns his hand to his forehead with a wince. Bet pats him lightly on the back, applying counterpressure to the other side of his head. "I think some rest would do us all some good."

Had we both not been feeling worn down in the other room, I would have put more concern into the odd behavior of an awkward budding adult. "Can I bring you some dinner then?" I ask, hopefully. "It's the least I can do for all you both do for us."

"Sure.. sure." Landon dismisses us and I follow Verando out of the room as we exit down the hall of the large house we'd decided to occupy as our home base. I glance around awkwardly at the strange decore, there were too many of us to fit in the apartment and I was unwilling to separate from any of them at this point.

"You seem off." His voice breaks me from my concentration, homes were so odd these days and I found myself feeling oddly sentimental. No paintings, no statues or sculptures, sometimes the odd arrangement of colors in a square but nothing like the murals and portraits that hung in my own home. They were strange, plaster-painted walls, I hadn't given it much thought until recently. 

My castle had been the place where the majority of my life took place, court meetings, feasts, and study, I hadn't had a home since we'd come to this time.

When Verando left me, when I evicted him from my life, he had easily adapted and molded to survive while I found myself drowning in alcohol to the point where it was now rumored that I'd become a lush. I slow my walk, the dark hall aiding me in feeling a bit safer and secluded.

 Eventually, my feet no longer move and I lean back against the wall, wrapping my arms around myself as I stare at the ground. Verando's eyes casually sweep our surroundings as he faces me, so much taller than I am. "Hmm... a dark hall, quite cozy."

"I think you broke my brain last night, I've been dwelling on my life all day. It's been quite distracting." I laugh sadly as he carefully rests his hands on my biceps, checking my temperature subtly. "I... I'm just realizing that everyone has their place in this world except for me. If I wasn't the King, the prince, what would I be...? I have no other skills, I've never even owned a home or had a job besides this."

Tilting his head in mild confusion, he regarded me quietly before offering a small shrug. I'm dragging him out of his comfort zone, this wasn't something we had talked about. Verando had never had anything, I'd always had everything, he had no desire for any of my possessions and if I were being honest, I never anticipated we'd survive this far.

"Well, if it worries you, darling, I'm quite sure you will be needed as long as you wish to be in power. I don't foresee the world just finding its way when this is all over. They're going to need your guidance."

I feel it climbing into my throat again, the strangling sensation, the realization that this train never ended for me. "Would you be okay with that?" I whisper, finally allowing myself to meet his gaze. 

My fingers intertwined in the material of his shirt, pulling him closer to me as if I wished for his height to hide me from the world. "Till the end of our days I'd be doing... this...? Meetings after meetings, traveling, never ending, always in danger?"

Amused, he slips his fingers into mine, bringing my knuckles to his lips. The calming texture of his smooth lips against my skin achieved the desired effect of calming me slightly, "You're talking to an Alpha, remember? I suppose I haven't been the best influence on you, complaining about my retirement. Nic, you've got plenty of time to figure this out." 

When did he become the reasonable one? When did I become the one who lived in despair? 

It was unlike me, yet this was the closest we'd ever been to the end. Something would end at the first of the year, Caspian's rein or our world as we knew it.

I clutch his hand impossibly tighter until my knuckles whiten and my words threaten to spill out. "I don't want to live this way forever." I attempted, hoping he would conclude my desire on his own, yet he was perfectly content with my humanity. It didn't mean anything to him now, with my youth before him. 

"I'm not going to look this way forever," I add, small as I stare at his chest. I allow my fingers to spread open on his shirt, feeling his pounding heart and absorbing the heat emanating from his form. I allowed him to lift my gaze as his index finger caught under my chin.

"Nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about you." 

I stretch on my toes and he meets my lips, his hand slipping up to cup my cheek as I close my fingers on his shirt once more. Feeling him smile against my lips, he chuckles lightly. 

"Well... save for the height. You're quite short, I'll be doubled over like an old man before too long."

Even on my toes, it was hard for him to kiss me without bending or lifting me in some fashion.

"Ass." I sigh, catching his lower lip in my teeth.

"Why are you in the dark?" Silvia's voice makes me jump and I practically climb the man before wrenching myself free and clearing my throat.

"I'm sorry, Silvia. We were talking." I quickly stammered out, adjusting my hair and shirt. Verando raises an eyebrow at me and I bump him with my elbow to change his smug expression.

"Oh. Did you have to whisper it?" She asks curiously, tilting her head as I bend to scoop her up. "Your faces were so close." Wrapping her arms around my neck, she nuzzles her cheek against mine with a giggle. "Like this!"

I narrow my eyes at the lycan male who was supposed to act as a lookout and keep tiny eyes safe from our escapades. "Your Papa is very old, it's hard for him to hear sometimes. Did you need help with dinner?"

"Daddy got me out some ice!" She tells me excitedly as we walk into the kitchen. "Daddy! Daddy!" She squirms out of my arms and runs to Legardo, I note he doesn't have Xaiver and a sting of panic crosses my face. Legardo reassures me with a small smile.

"He's worn out, Silvia is being a good big sister... niece? Rhea is laying him down. Babies at this age mostly sleep. Enjoy it while you can." Silvia tugs rapidly on his shirt and Legardo lowers himself to her level. She grabs his face and kisses him on the cheek.

"I whispered to you! Like Papa Randy and Papa Nic!" She giggles, turning his expression quizzical as Verando clears his throat at the reveal from the young girl.

"Need help setting up?" He grumbles, passing me to help Helen.

I sit at the table and make idle conversation with the young girl, spotting Briley playing quietly on her phone at the edge of the table. Pascal enters with a couple of cases of beer and Legardo sighs appreciatively. She lifts her chin but he avoids the contact, offering a pointed glance towards his children and I can't help but appreciate her pout as she sits at the table as well.

"Want to try?" I offer Pascal the ball of ice as Silvia skips around the small space, singing a song to herself with her current frozen crown.

Unimpressed, she twists the ice ball with uncertainty. "Why?"

I shrug. "Because children are fickle?" 

How long had it been since I'd sat down to an actual meal that wasn't at a pub or a rushed bite on the go? As Pascal molds the ball, I catch small bits of conversation between Verando and Helen, they speak lower than my human ears can pick up on but I do manage to gain his desire to make sure there are plenty of vegetarian options.

"How's it looking out there?"

Pascal frowns at the busted excuse for a crown. "Decent, I suppose. It's hard to keep our original group from making their way here, they all worry about you, and they want to help. But the safest place for them is back in the capitol. I think you need to call Steffan, much as he's trying to play tough, I think he's really upset that you haven't called him."

Steffan. My best friend for lifetimes who I hadn't even had the decency to tell that he'd been right about my husband. "I can't do this." She hands the mangled ball of ice back and I squeeze it between my palms.

"I'll call him this evening. Thanks Pascal. I'm sorry about your brother." It'd just occurred to me that I hadn't spoken to her much since I launched her brother into a lightning cloud.

The pained look crosses her face and she shakes her head, eyeing my hands as I form the crown quite easily. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me to watch him. I just... you never think it's your sibling."

Little did she know I knew exactly what she was talking about. Finishing the crown, I hand it to Silvia, and the girl squeals in delight. "Now I need a frozen horsey! A unicorn!" I wouldn't allow Grayson's shortcomings to ruin my evening.