Clutching Xavier to my chest, I kiss his pudgy cheek as I swoon over the gentle baby coos. "Hi baby boy," I whisper as if embarrassed that others might hear. 

Adopting the role of a parent was much different than I'd ever imagined it'd be. In some aspects, it came as easy to me as breathing. I never grew bored with the ever-changing bundle before me, every time I held him I memorized his weight, his size, and the way he filled my arms slightly more with each passing day. 

The density of his once tiny body now filled out the charming outfits that had once swallowed him. 

The most difficult aspect of the job was the fact it felt like I was doing it alone. Verando's ability to find ways to escape parenthood was not lost on me, though I told myself it would be better once this mission was over, I couldn't help but worry. 

"Thank you for bringing him, Gary." I sigh, with the possibility of Caspian meeting us here and potentially needing Legardo, it was not safe for Xavier to remain in the capitol. 

Legardo smiles, I admire his pale hair; resembling his father's in its short messy tangles. "He's a very good kid, hasn't been any trouble. You're doing a good job with him." 

I can't allow myself to admit how much that warms my heart. Pursing my lips, he sighs at me but doesn't heckle me further. 

"You're not going to cry, are you?" 

"Nope. I'm just in shock that you're being kind." I tell him, stifling a sniff as I kiss the top of the full head of dark gray hair. "I really can't take much of the credit, I have hardly been able to enjoy him." 

I felt like in his short life, I had barely been present. Between the hospital and the move, my time with him had been quite fleeting. Legardo awkwardly looks as though he'd like to touch me but thinks better of it, opting to cross his arms instead. 

"The fact that you think of it that way means you will be a great parent. I loved raising my kids, enjoying it while you can, they grow up and fall in love with their grandfather and that's just a load of confusion that nobody needs...." Exhaling roughly, he runs his hand through his hair and I offer him a reassuring grin as I cuddle every last moment out of the tiny boy. 

Legardo was due a kindness. "She talks about you all the time, you know. She misses you."

Tilting his head, he raises an eyebrow. "She doesn't miss me, I can assure you. I was a pretty... controlling father. I also lied to her mother her entire life so I can understand the resentment. Verando lets her do whatever she wants, it makes sense she'd prefer him." 

I note his physique, how he looked more fit, how he appeared to be standing taller and his hair in better shape. With Tonya, he'd appeared cold and closed off, pudgier in some aspects or perhaps just under-exercised. Now, he was approaching what one would consider moderately fit. It was good to see him happier, even if it was due to Pascal and nothing to do with us. 

"I think your intel is wrong. Randy," I correct, the malice in his voice does nothing for me. I'd nip it at every opportunity I could. "Is quite hard on her. I think Helen just really wants to be in touch with her wolf, it's not a bad thing. Malka is..." Raising my eyebrows, I think the expression is enough to drive home my point. The white female was difficult to manage to say the least. "Gary... I'd like to not exclude you from all this. Randy is talking to Kestrel right now, there's a chance that-"

Legardo interrupts me with a heavy sigh, "That my father's going to walk in that door and tell me it's my job to kill Caspian?"

I say nothing, there's nothing I can say. Quietly, I rock Xavier, leaning my cheek against the top of his head as he drifts in and out of sleep. My eyes search the tile floors but I find no answers in the jumble of designs. 

"I know what it's like to have a shitty dad. It took him dying for me to realize sometimes people don't have a choice."

"Spare me the sympathy. I encourage you to remember exactly how this feels, to stand here alone, because work always comes first. There will always be something more important than that baby. Even if he is from his favorite of his endeavors." I flinch and Legardo, for once, realizes he's being unnecessarily harsh. 

I spot Helen entering and I'm grateful for the distraction because I feel more wounded by the evaluation than I should. Silvia skips in behind her and runs to me when she sees me. 

I bend to scoop her up, holding her to my hip as I carefully shoulder Xavier. "Papa Nic! Make me a crown! Make me a crown!"

Helen giggles, "Silvia, some people don't wish to be at your mercy."

I kiss the rounded cheek, allowing her to slide down my body. "What is a princess without her crown? Do you have any ice?"

She ponders for a moment before her face lights up. "Pascal!" She shouts, bringing a squeal from Xavier as she runs back out the room so fast I'm surprised she doesn't leave tracks in the tiles. 

Eyeing Legardo, he narrows his eyes at me. "If I apologize for being a jerk, will you not bring up Pascal?"

"Nope," I tell him pointedly, unwilling to compromise.

Helen looks as though she wishes she could vomit. "Really Daddy, Pascal?" 

The term brings a smile to my face. What would Xavier call me? I called my father Tata but Randy might not appreciate him knowing Romanian given that he, himself, wasn't fluent in it. I soothe the squeaking boy, rocking him back to sleep. 

Helen gives me a side glance, "Randy still talking with Kestrel?"

I nod, attempting to keep the frown off my face and coming to realize that Legardo was, too. "Do you know Kestrel, Gary? He's your age isn't he?"

Reluctantly, he nods. "Our mothers were best friends. We spent a lot of our youth together but Kestrel is very... odd. We have met on various occasions throughout time but we are two very different people. He was very invested in my father and I just didn't have the stomach for it. It's kind of frustrating when everyone swoons over the man who abandoned you." 

His gaze falls sharply on Helen who doesn't shy away but instead shakes her head in exasperation. 

"Will you ever give it a rest?" She demands. "He did what he had to do. Why must you live in the past?"

"I hope you love your family enough to not leave them when you eventually have one, Helen," Legardo growls only to swallow back his wolf side and wrap his arms tighter around himself, visibly disgusted by the response. 

How could we rely on this man to defeat Caspian? He was the opposite of his father. "There are more important things-"

"Than saving our people? Our nation?" It's Helen's turn to look disgusted and as Silvia comes back in, dragging Rhea instead of Pascal, I grow tired of it. 

"Can you both stop fighting in front of children? And me, for that matter? For the love... " This small, broken, jumbled family that surrounded my husband could be irritating but seeing them together, I just wanted to enjoy it. We never knew when it would be our last time together, who we would lose in this final fight, what we could lose. 

Not having a family and then slowly gaining one through the man who murdered mine, I was at a low tolerance for bickering relatives these days. 

Rhea smiles much more warmly at me than I imagined considering her trickery in Newyork with her weather app. "That's a good look for you."

I try and decide if it's sarcasm or not. "Thanks."

Turning her wrath on Legardo, she smacks him on the shoulder with a sharp grumble said under her breath. He bows his head in respect for the one woman who does control him. 

"Are you talking shit about your father again? I swear, Gardo, you're the only one who could complain about having a demi-god for a father. You know, you're just like him."

"'M not!" He snaps only to get collective nods from us as a group. "Oh, the lot of you can shove off..."

Silvia takes his hand, frowning up at him. "Daddy, why do you hate Papa Randy?"

Rhea smiles a smug smirk and I would just rather not talk about it. Helen lifts her, kissing her cheek. "Daddy is a grouch, kid... Did you get any ice?" She shakes her head, making her heavy curls sway back and forth. "Well, how about you and Daddy go make some dinner? I suspect the table will be quite full tonight."

"Good idea." Rhea agrees, handing off the young girl to the sulking man as she shoos them out of the room only to let her true concern reveal the moment he's out of earshot. She turns to us, watching Helen and me under the veil of concern. 

"We can not let him fight Caspian, there has to be another way. He will not survive."

As much as I agree with this, if it's what has to be done then my hands are quite tied. The thought of sending Legardo to his death doesn't quite satisfy me either but we were at a loss of what to do without Whitewind for guidance and only Kestrel's notes to go off of. I move to sit in the arm chair, feeling worn down as I cross my legs and listen to the steady breathing of the baby boy. 

Kestrel had said that it was a toss-up between him, Legardo, and Helen. "I doubt it would be Legardo as he is not Randy's heir."

This seems to offend Rhea in a much deeper way than I could have envisioned considering she was just begging for her son's life. Verando had been promiscuous in his youth, with a rounded down number of progeny and most of them no longer living, Rhea seemed to struggle to stomach that her provided child was still lacking in any sort of favor. Despite appearing quite alright in her relationship with the man, there had to be hidden resentment and hurt feelings lurking under the coarse exterior. 

Marisol had only ever wanted what was best for her husband, she had been the only one besides me to claim him in some form or fashion. For Rhea, the first to bear him a child, that option had never even been presented. 

He'd told me, briefly, about their fling. She had been one of the ladies who followed around the ruffian groups, he had served under her as a guard a few times even though she'd come from a middle-class family. She was a prized jewel, the only daughter her father had, with no sons to his name. 

As Verando gained favor in Kato's mafia, Rhea had gambled her cards on stepping away from the grace of her family and hoping she'd tie the man down with a child. Mafia power seemed more appealing than taking over the family business or being married off to a slightly wealthier, businessman. 

Rhea jumped on the man at every opportunity in the attempt to get pregnant, and even though he knew it was her intention, he struggled to turn her away in the throws of his youth and addictions. Legardo had been the correct coat color, but his lack of wolf traits and her dismissal from his 'harem' had been the kiss of death for their prestige. 

Verando's family had rejected their existence, much as they did with the rest of his children, save for Tonic. For Verando, it was an easy trade to send her back to her father. They were wealthy enough that a child wouldn't suffer. Yet thinking of Legardo, the most like his father, as a rejected heir broke her more than she'd ever dare to explain. 

With Xavier in my arms, I could only imagine the thoughts swimming in that strange mind of hers. If there was to be a second, a male heir, it would still not be Legardo and both males preferred it that way. It would mean that any hope of ever entering the man's life was zero.

 "Well, to be fair, Gardo never had the training that Helen's gotten." She mentions stiffly. 

"Legardo doesn't want the training. Randy's tried pretty hard to help him." I retort strongly. 

Rhea eyes Xavier but says nothing. She dared not attack a child conceived out of such unfortunate circumstances. Marisol, before me, had claimed him long before anyone else had. Rhea was smart enough not to argue that point. The true heir, the only heir besides Helen, rested safely in my arms. 

No amount of training would assist Legardo on that front, coat color, and appearance be damned. Though I have no doubt Verando would now accept the man as his son, it was evident with every forced meeting of the two that Legardo preferred the separation. Rhea had done too good of a job pining after a man who had no interest in her, effectively damning her son to loathing his sire.

"That's quite enough, Rhea." Verando's voice is enough to make us all jump though I can't help but notice the way her eyes linger on him in his new, thicker shape. He much more closely resembled the man who'd come out of the dragon realm what felt like an eternity ago. "If you don't mind, go tend to Kestrel and make sure he's comfortable for the time being. Helen, I need you to run some recon for me, and make sure that we've had no more attacks. The police force called in an attempted raid this morning on town hall, I want to be sure that that has been cleared up."

Both women leave without another word. His expression says enough, he wants to be alone.

His expression slips into one of exhaustion as he moves to flop down on the couch with a heavy exhale. Timidly, I peer at him before he opens his arms to invite me over. Exhaustion is not something he often reveals and while I understand it's entirely mental, my need to know the details eats away at my resolve to give him space.

 I cross the room to climb into his lap, carefully slipping Xaiver to rest on my inside shoulder. He kisses the little boy's head as his arms wrap around me. Curling against him, I rest my cheek on his shoulder as I drag my fingers lazily up and down the warm onesie. He smells heavenly of a fresh shower and body wash, mixed with a uniquely intoxicating aroma that only he possessed.

 In the silence, I admire the same tangles in his hair. I often miss the length of our time but can appreciate the complimentary shorter hairstyle that required little maintenance from the busy warlord. My own flatter hair had been much less lucky considering I was someone who appreciated fixing it, wishing to keep some length and thickness, it felt like a full-time job compared to his wash-and-wear style. 

"How did it go?"

For a moment, I wonder if he's fallen asleep but I know that he holds me too tightly for that to be the case. I linger on the gentle, rhythmic pulse of the large vein in his neck. The rise and fall of his chest soothes me, I could almost sleep here despite the firmness of his muscle mass, the safety of his grasp reassured me more than I'd felt all morning. "I could ask you the same."

Scoffing, I stretch to kiss his neck at the base of his jaw, smiling against the warm skin. "Nothing I can't handle. Legardo is Legardo, Rhea is Rhea..." 

"Mmm... that pleasant?"

The light chuckle brings a soft laugh from him as well. Shutting my eyes, I place an arsenal of soft-pressed kisses on his chest and neck. "It's worth it to have this one back, even if it's only for a little while."

His body stiffens for only a moment as if he'd forgotten the little boy was even there. "You must be enamored."

I purse my lips, scrunching my nose as I fight the urge but I fear I'm losing dreadfully. "We're having a nice moment here, I don't want to upset you but... Kestrel?."

 He brushes the top of my head with his lips, inhaling in a slow draw to savor my scent just as I did for him. How would this change if I were a lycan, too? Would I still want to do this? It'd taken some getting used to for him to realize he even appreciated my cuddly side. What if I changed too much? There would be no going back. 

"Kestrel thinks Helen needs to kill me at the same time as he kills Caspian. His logic is sound."

 The lump forms in my throat and I lean closer to him, shutting my eyes impossibly tighter. This I can not tolerate, this I can not allow. The world would be nothing without him in it. 

"But Whitewind said nothing about that. I'm reluctant to go along with a plan that's so permanent on a whim. I'm not one for prophecies anymore but I do agree with him that if Fenrir jumps bodies, he will be unstoppable in Kestrel's."

Leave it to Caspian to create the perfect killing machine. "Do you think he's on our side?"

Verando shrugs one shoulder, careful not to disturb the sleeping boy. "Yes and no. He is dangerous but he seems to have control of it. His wolf is even more unstable than mine and it doesn't have a voice so finding out what it wants is challenging. He is quite enamored with Helen, unfortunately, but again he seems to understand that that isn't something that can happen. We're not related, much as we are split from the same being so far back... but we can't risk him slipping and killing her. Best to keep them apart."

 could only imagine what Helen would do in her fragile state if she found such a candidate who wanted her as badly as this man seemed to. Tyler was not designed to compete with one such as Kestrel, though I was disappointed to see that he did not come along. 

He stayed behind, in the capitol, to help run the large army that was forming there. 

"Remind me to talk to Tyler."

"Talk to Tyler." He yawns.

"Asshole." I sigh but kiss his chest all the same. 

"There's a pack of lycans in Norway and Kestrel has the connection. They are led by Acer's daughter, Echo."

"Echo?" I chuckle.

Verando rolls his eyes in response before gazing down at me. "It's a lycan thing."

"I like Xavier." I squeeze the little boy.

He ignores me, much as I thought he would. "If we could get them to come here, we would be able to defeat Caspian's army and still get to Romania before the first of the year. At the absolute worst, we could at least hold them off. Having all three in one place might be enough to reset the balance and straight once and for all. Kestrel believes it will send the gods home."

"No more Demi gods?"

He shakes his head as his hand carefully comes to snag my chin, lifting so that his eyes capture mine. There's not a day that goes by that I don't swoon over this man, the angular features of his face coupled with the full lips and stubbled jaw. "No more Demi-gods."

I frown, feigning despair. "How will I survive? I'm accustomed to a certain amount of god in my daily diet."

"Well you'll just have to settle for me, I'm afraid. Poorly trade, I know." His lips hover over mine before he brushes his nose lightly against mine, a gentle nuzzle that causes me to deepen the kiss on impact. Xavier squeaks and the giggle frees itself before I can stop it. "It begins."

"It's not forever." I remind him and bite my lower lip, offering him one more chaste kiss, my body exploding all over again at the memory of last night. "It.. can't be forever." 

Testing the waters on such a sensitive subject was difficult, it was hard to know how he would react. 

His firm fingers keep hold of my chin, tilting my head to the side to gain as much access to my neck as possible with the baby only inches away. My hand slips to cover his mouth, needing to focus. 

"It'll be plenty long, a human life can go well into their nineties, darling. I'm sure you'll be quite sick of me by then."

Ninety years. Twenty-seven of which were already gone. Every day I got older, every day I got closer to our last. Hiding against his shoulder, I don't know if I'm strong enough to bring out this side of our lives yet. I don't want him to think I've trapped him, I don't want him to run, I couldn't bear it. Yet, the thought of only getting a single human life injured me worse than any pain I'd experienced. I loved him, I loved him more than life itself. 

"Randy..." I plead, begging for the suggestion, begging for help but not knowing what else to say. I can't face him, even after he attempts to dislodge me, I cling to him as if my life depended on it because, in a way, it did. "I.."

"What's wrong, darling?" The concern fills his voice, could he not see how badly I needed him? How badly Xavier needed us? How could he think it would ever be enough when there might be another option? 

Before I could get upset, I quickly stretched to kiss him. I can't do this now, not when we were unsure of what our lives might entail in the coming days. I silence both of our worries with a kiss. This could wait till after. 

As if on cue, Bet enters, unbothered by our closeness. "Landon and I have some updates if you'd like to hear them. "