Falling asleep with my husband was quite surreal, as if it were all just some dream and I would soon wake up to find that I had never found him at all. In ways, I wished that were the case, I wished he was happily running in some distant forest too engrossed in his feral side to consider calling me.

 I'd be upset but I could understand it. This, while I felt more connected to him than I could imagine, was raw and painful. 

The only thing I knew for certain was that I would kill Caspian if he did not do so himself. It would be the most difficult thing I'd ever done to allow the man I loved to be near that psycho and take his life. As the sun glimpses through the shades, I hear the distant echoes of our companions waking up and finally dare to open my eyes only to find that he is still in bed- he hasn't woken up yet. 

For a split second, I panic, fearing the worst as I stare at his chest and relax to see the steady rise and fall. How often was it that I had watched him sleep where he didn't appear wrought with nightmares? Watching him now, he appeared quite peaceful. 

Lazily, my fingers trail over the lines of scars across the left side of his chest, testing the fullness of the muscle. The exercise of being on foot for two weeks had done wonders for his physique. While I had not noticed that domestication had taken some of the size off of him, it was quite clear to me now that I had been dealing with a leaner warlord than I started with.

 The fullness and definition he'd gained from just these two simple weeks was enough to bring color to my cheeks and a shy glance to make sure he stayed asleep.

I marvel at the spattering of chest hair and the contrast of my olive skin compared to the light tan of his tone. The silvery hair almost hinted towards a white pigment in a few stray strands. I silently hope the meaning behind the color shift wasn't more sinister. At one point he'd revealed to me that gray wolves were 'neutral', undecided. 

Whitewind had often complained, in our short dealings with him, that Verando's bloodline never held up to expectations. My interest was piqued, and I couldn't help but consider that perhaps the 'gray' was the disappointing factor.

I kiss his pectoral muscle, only to inhale sharply as his hand covers mine. "You look like you have questions." His voice rough from sleep, I sling my leg over his hip to slip closer to him and prevent escape. 

"I've always got questions when it comes to you... how do we do this? What do you need from me?"

Pulling his lips into a thin line, he exhales heavily and kisses the top of my head. "I only need your patience, and perhaps, less interest in waking me so early in the morning." Yawning, he stretches with a groan of disapproval. 

Unsatisfied but accepting, I opt to roll over and snag my battered phone off the nightstand, excitedly tapping in the code to open it as it alerts me to its repair. I pull up the app, quickly looking to see that Xavier is gone, it makes me chuckle as I check the time and see it's still quite early. 

"What're you laughing about?" Verando's lips find the crook of my neck as he holds me from behind. 

"Xavier has been waking up quite early, normally I try and tend to him but.. well you know, kingly duties... I don't know, it just makes me laugh. Harrison has been wonderful with him." I miss the sooty-haired little boy more than I can stand. If it weren't for our support system, I don't know how I'd manage, how this would even be possible. 

All the time, I had been feeling so alone, my family had slowly been rebuilding all over again. It wasn't the same as what we had in our own time but it was good, if I only stopped to see it. 

Verando places slow kisses up to the point of my shoulder. "You really do love him."

"Don't you?" My tone is almost accusing. I feel the silence and I know his answer. It's difficult for him given the circumstances under which we obtained the little boy. "You don't have to answer that," I tell him quickly, reaching back to gently cup his cheek as his lips catch my palm. "I know you love him."

In a quick motion, he pulls me onto my back, hovering over me with an expression that brings me to pause. The back of his fingers brush the shortened strands of my hair back out of my forehead, I resist the urge to arch into his touch. 

"What?" I nervously mumble under his intense gaze. It brings me back to those first clumsy days, when I felt he would consume me with the weight those eyes could bring, now highlighted by the lighter hair color. 

"You're quite remarkable. I must say, I'm infatuated, if not sleep-deprived and a touch delirious." He speaks so evenly that I almost laugh. 

"Oh really? Well, we are married so I'd hope so." As much as I try to deflect, it's still nice to hear. Stretching up, I offer him a quick peck on the lips before waiting for the retreat and yet, he remains, following me back to the bed as his lips find mine. He kisses me slowly at first, testing my reaction, I fight to restrain myself to not leap onto him as my libido takes notice. 

"You're quite tame this morning." His words against my lips hardly give him the space to speak as my fingers tangle in his hair. If only he knew that my body was bursting at the seams. Chuckling, his fingers trail down to lightly graze the base of my neck before slipping his arm beneath me to pull me against him. This delicious man hovering over top of me, hips seated so perfectly between my legs. 

"Mmm.. maybe not that tame." Kissing a trail, his touch sets my skin on fire and I squirm against the contact. "Your heart gives you away. Among other things." 

I feel at a crossroads with myself, between giving him time and taking control of what I need, my conflicted path leads me to just lay at his mercy. "We need to get going." I remind him, though it is quite early. "At least I do. I have to get back to France." To Xavier. 

Allowing me to lay back on the bed, he pursues other interests by slipping his fingers under my shirt and pushing it up towards my collarbone. His mouth finds my nipple and I grip his hair with one hand as my other moves to cover my mouth. 

"I was thinking about that." When did he have time to think? "Is there any particular reason to go back to France? We are running out of time."

"We are wasting time right now." I remind him curtly, though my body refuses to move from under his touch. His eyes could easily be my undoing as he glances up at me from the task of paying close attention to my nipples and chest. Kneading one pectoral while kissing and sucking on the other. 

Hesitating for only a moment, his teeth graze my skin as he finds his way to my navel. 

"Do you want me to stop?"

Yes. No. Was this how he felt all those times I dragged him away from his pack? 

"I want you to kiss me."

 He rises minutely, that boyish grin my undoing, and I slip my fingers from his hair to rest my palm carefully over his face, guiding him lower as I squirm with anticipation. "What are your plans? You better have a damn good reason to not go back to France." 

Maybe I could indulge if we talked about business during?

The cool air hits my cock and I shut my eyes as I attempt to focus on the task at hand, not alerting our companions that lude behavior was occurring just down the hall. It brings me to think of our phone sex and I hear him chuckle. 

"You're quite excited for someone trying to talk politics."

"Shut up and-" I gasp as he runs his tongue up the length of my shaft. "God, I missed you." 

Verando takes me into his mouth and I groan against the back of my hand as he expertly works me, his arm encircling my hip to hold me still as I threaten to crawl out of my skin. When I can hardly take it, he stops, placing a gentle kiss at the base. 

"Well. We need to go to Romania anyway. You said you wanted a second wedding... where do you think Caspian will be?" He says his name so easily. 

"Dead at the bottom of a damned trench if I have my say." The malice in my tone does little to calm me or bring me back from the depths of my involvement in his sinful mouth. 

Dragging his lips against the sensitive skin, I feel his teeth barely graze the tip and I tighten my grip on his hair. My head rolls, I just want all of him.

 "He'll be at the wedding. We put on a show, let him think we will be there, and go to Romania while he's chasing the farce. Gabriel might be able to travel through the dragon realm but Caspian can't."

I shake my head, "Caspian will destroy everything. He will be merciless if we aren't there."

"They can handle it."

"Xavier-"

Verando takes me into his mouth once more and I arch off the bed, cursing under my breath at the intensity. His tongue encircles me, how a man who proclaims to bed women can take a man so deeply into his throat was a mystery to me. The slowness in which he moves, the way those icy eyes meet my gaze any time I attempt to glance down, I'm nearly undone.

I know the point he wants to make, we couldn't take the entire army with us anyways, there would be no means to defend what we had. It would happen this way with or without our departure. 

"Randy!" I plead, for mercy on his logic and for a reprieve from his skilled tongue.

I'm nearing the edge of what I can take, forming coherent sentences becomes a struggle and I moan low in my throat as I babble obscenities. 

"You are quite a sight, darling." His smooth voice as he releases me from his mouth once more. My body shudders, teetering on the point of release. "Consider it. It will be at least a full day's travel to the capitol and then what? Just to pack up and travel back with very little time? We need to give the program time to work, we need to stay on top of Gabriel. If you want, I will go back and you can keep tracking him?" 

The thought jolts me as if I've been electrocuted. My two greatest loves, everything in me pleaded to take his offer, to send him and allow me to keep hunting but the thought of being without him once more might just end me. I couldn't allow Caspian to ever have that opportunity again, I couldn't allow him to face that alone and it was killing the side of me that so desperately wanted to protect Xavier. 

"You're killing my buzz." I threaten as I grab his face and pull him firmly to meet my lips. Guiding him up my body as I taste him, dragging my tongue over his lower lip, I hook my leg over his hip and feel his tension. "All I can think about right now is how badly I want you inside of me."

His jaw grows taut and he carefully stops my heel from encouraging him, resting on his knees, he kisses the inside of my knee apologetically. "I don't want to hurt you..." He admits, bringing me to pause. Puzzled, I searched his face for answers on what that could mean.

Uncertain, I prop myself up on my elbows and tilt my head to get a better look at his eyes. "Why would you hurt me?" His lips pull into a thin line and I frown, he's a dominant, he'd never been with a man before in that aspect. 

"Randy-" How do I even explain? "You're not going to hurt me. Have I ever given you the indication that you were hurting me?"

It saddens me that he has to consider this. "I feel you wouldn't tell me if I was." I feel the weight of his gaze on my scars, littering my chest. "I feel like you endure much more than most would to make other people happy." 

My hands move under their own power to clutch his face before he can hide from me once more. Quickly, he snags one to keep me from touching him yet, the conflict is clear as he forcibly puts my palm to his cheek. 

"There was a time in my life when I needed this to be happy. I don't, anymore. What I need is you and I can't bear the thought that when we met.. even if it was under your initiation at times... I did this to you."

My lips part as I breathe in his words, my spiraling warlord. When did I become the emotionally stable one? 

"Randy." Smoothing away the worry lines by his eyes with my thumbs, I'm overwhelmed by his hindsight. "You and I had a physical contract in that- I knew what I wanted from you. I had used my body for so long as currency, and- frankly, I had no idea you were gay. I love having sex with you, frankly, you've ruined me for other men. What you and I have is beyond anything I've ever experienced. It feels... amazing. Sex can hurt, but that is never something I've worried about with you. Not even in the beginning." 

I had been trying so desperately to get back to that, maybe we both pushed this side of the relationship too far. 

Waiting for him to relax, he settles on his hip beside me and I refuse to release him. Much as I'm fighting to contain the urge to show him exactly how I enjoy his efforts, I know that right now this is what he needs from me. Patience. 

"I want every part of you. Every. Part." The return of the eye-roll allows me to sigh a breath of relief, to know that I hadn't fully lost him. "While you give unreasonably good oral service, I can't say I'm willing to part with the other attributes you offer. There's a part of your anatomy that I quite enjoy and it's much too impressive to allow it to wither away from lack of use." 

Making a face, he wrinkles his nose. "You're being quite lude."

 Scoffing, I trail my fingers down to rest my hands on his shoulders and lightly massage. "What is it you call me? Insatiable?" Right now, seeing him shirtless before me, I was at my wit's end. "I'm willing to wait as long as you need to but, let me remind you that I thoroughly enjoy everything involved with being intimate with you. It's not painful," 

Uncomfortable at times but I keep that detail to myself. 

"But. I love that you care so much. I love that you take the time to prepare me, that you turn me on to the point that I'm unable to control myself, that you-" His lips catch mine, a slow, building kiss that makes my hopes rise. 

Warning him with a glance, I straighten to slip my arms around his neck once more and hug him. Spotting the growing light out the window, I could feel my internal clock warning me I was threatening to lose the day. A decision needed to be made about returning to the capitol and much as I wanted to return, his words did have some merit to them. 

It was time to speak to Helen and get her opinion on this as well as check the tablet for Gabriel's location to confirm the function of the software.

Pulling back, I bend to kiss his lips, threatening to build as I move to straddle his lap. Perhaps I could spare a few more minutes- 

The loud knock on the door leaves me jumping out of my skin and Verando chuckling at my nature. "Hey! Sleeping beauty, wake up!" Bet's voice had an annoying, grating tone to it that made me wonder if there was an app to put a person on mute with all the technology available today. 

"To be continued?" I plead.

"Of course." Slipping out of my grasp, he steps lightly across the room to get into the closet and produce some clothes. "I packed these when I first left the capitol but they aren't fitting the best anymore, perhaps you might enjoy them a bit more until we can get you some other options?"

Scanning the room once more, I wonder what it must be like to know where everything is at all times. Pleased by the level of disorganization that I managed to cause in my short time here, I casually slide to the edge of the bed and stretch. I can feel the wandering gaze traveling over my form and appreciate the gesture as I practically saunter across the short space. 

"I think I've gained some weight." He sighs, twisting his mouth into a disapproving grimace as he adjusts the waistband of his boxer briefs. 

The bewilderment in which I lay upon him causes him to purse his lips in amusement and I shake my head as I can't fathom how a man who would live outside on preference could be self-conscious about his weight. 

"As someone who does have body image problems, I kindly invite you to take your marble abs to put some damn clothes on before I show you my appreciation for your current size." 

Roughly jerking the pants from his hands, I put them on with a huff as I roll the bottom to fit my much shorter legs. At least he'd thought ahead to provide me with thermals under the jeans. 

Once I straighten, he assists me in buttoning the pants as he muses at the looseness on my hips. "Ravishing." 

I resist the urge to stick out my tongue. "Ass." 

"Thank you." He sighs, slipping his arms around my waist to lift me to his height. Clutching him at the suddenness of the movement, I hook my legs over his hips. 

"For calling you an ass?"

"Actually, yes." The relief is clear and I must say I'm confused. "For making this so.. normal. For your patience. I have missed you terribly, darling, and I was moments away from reclaiming this territory over and over until you were a heap beneath me. I must say, you're quite convincing." Hovering his lips over mine, I wish to plead with him.

My hand slips between us, groping him through those pesky boxers, feeling the fullness of his manhood in my hand as I invade his mouth with my tongue. "Gods, Randy-"

Before I can utter a response, Bet knocks on the door once more with a force that sends me over the edge of starstruck lover into my version of an enraged warlord.