I cram another piece of pancake into my mouth. As much as the dream had sent me into a state of panic, I was feeling better now that everyone was accounted for. 

"I was convinced that Randy had gone to look for Lux," I conclude, taking a sip from a glass of orange juice. 

"Caspian?" Verando's voice is hollow, his expression guarded, but his eyes give away the concern lurking beneath; he couldn't hide from me that this was a setback. As if it wasn't hard enough, as if the odds weren't stacked against us, Caspian was the last thing we could have predicted. 

Stefan considers this, "If Red were going back in time to grab anything to hurt you both, it would make sense to grab Caspian during the period in which he was presumed dead. Or, perhaps, he never died at all and has lain low? Stranger things have happened." He gestures to himself, though my warlord's expression never falters. 

I could see him reeling, going through all the possibilities, his eyes fell on his ring, and he knew as well as I did what Caspian's intention would be. I would spare our companions the gory details of Caspian's obsession with the gray-haired man, what they were destined to do to each other. The room had fallen oddly quiet. Save for the sound of the highway rumbling outside, I was allowed to finish without interruption. 

Verando runs his hand through his hair as he paces slowly through the kitchen, eyes distant as he considers my words.

Tiberius sits across from me at the table, his serious expression clouding his usually whimsical face. "And Whitewind is gone?" Tiberius asks slowly, making his words very clear. 

I nod, coupled with a swallow. The reality of our situation melts into my core; I feel disarmed. How were we supposed to defeat Gabriel now? Losing my appetite, I settle back into my chair, staring at the space between us. Tiberius exhales through his teeth, and the group of Sirens exchanges uncertain glances. "Why would he come to you instead of us?" 

The answer seems obvious: I am less likely to do something insane. I am the one who would tell the truth and be forthcoming, and even I struggled with the option of keeping it to myself. It had to come to me because I was the one Whitewind trusted, despite our differences. I was the closest to his vessel, and I could insist upon the man to do the right thing.

"Does it matter?" Sulema's small voice interrupts. "Without the celestial being-" She trails, and Verando's jaw tightens. 

As a King, it was my job to restore order. We did not have the luxury of panic; we had a job to do, and I could not fall apart in front of them. Stefan tries to calm her with an open-handed gesture. "Nic is mighty on his own, and there are plenty of us. We have to do as Whitewind said; we must build an army."

Adjusting my posture, even in my pajamas, I'm their leader and must act it. If I crumble, there is no help for any of us. "First and foremost, we must find Lux."

Tiberius shakes his head as the Sirens giggle in unison. "Tyr is not going to help us." He tells me dismissively. 

"Why the hell not? He's the god of war. You forget we're not dealing with only Tyr; we're dealing with his vessel, and as you have seen, vessels can be much different than their god. Whitewind said he would have the ability to unite our allies; we need to find him." 

It seemed pretty straightforward when put in terms meant to soothe. I knew exactly what their fears were, and we were so limited on time; what if we never found Lux? "Don't forget, you need to train," Stefan tells me firmly, to which Tiberius nods in agreement. "If you're going to do this with no battery, you must train. You have to build up your magic and expand beyond just weather." 

The fire mage, Ryan, scratches his head, "But if Fergus is drawing off everyone, he's drawing off Gabriel too?"

"Gabriel is probably syphoning him twice as fast; I don't think it would affect him." 

Silence overcomes us once more, and my gaze falls on my warlord. "Randy." I sigh. "You've not said anything; what are you thinking?"

Approaching the table, he crosses his arms over his chest while keeping his expression neutral. "Tyr is most likely to befriend Nic; if we approach him with Lycans, I agree that he won't help us. But if you can earn his favor, you should separate your life from mine; it might even become a requirement. An offer like that would show him that you are on his side. We must remember that Tyr banished Fenrir to save this realm; if he is here, he's looking to help, and it sure as hell won't be from a lycan."

His words hit me harder than I would have hoped; as much as I try to be professional, I can feel the corner of my mouth turn down. "And if he wants to take down the lycans along with Gabriel?"

 Verando's eyes lock with mine as I set my jaw in defiance. 

"Your family? Our child? You?" 

It was enough to give him pause; it wasn't just him anymore. 

"Convince him otherwise. We can work on that after this is over; in an ideal world, we would come together, but I can not help you as I could with the celestial being. Now, I'm simply a massive liability. Gabriel will target me to get to you, and if Caspian truly is coming--" His hands rested on the table; his position seemed different than when he wished us to part ways; he didn't want me to go any more than I wanted to leave. 

For these past few years, he had been my protector. Handing that over to someone else seemed to cause him physical pain. With a sigh, his shoulders relax as mine do. This is not the time to show fear, though we are both afraid. "I propose that Tiberius send his men back to New York to bring as many of our forces here as possible. If we must divide, then we must do it with numbers on our side. Tiberius himself can go with Nic to find 'Lux.'" 

"I need you all to speak." I gesture in frustration. I required time to think and decide whether these were the right moves—a rebuttal and input were desperately needed. 

Pascal walks up to stand beside me. "If Nic is going to find Lux, I will go with him. Two Solomonari's are stronger than one. Tiberius can not interfere; he's already said so."

I exhale with her words, tilting my chin to keep my composure. I wasn't hoping for finalizations; I was hoping for alternatives. 

"What about Fergus?" Stefan questions, sipping from a dark wine glass. "Do we just allow him to have access to Fergus?"

"If we go after Fergus, Gabriel will be forced to defend him, and I don't know if I'm ready to fight him yet." There were so many variables and so many ways this could go wrong. "I don't even know where Fergus is."

Verando scoffs as if it were obvious. "He's home, Nic. Whitewind said as much; I'm willing to bet that Gabriel has found another table, same as the one we used to give you the magic off that dragon. We find that table, we will find Fergus." 

I tap my fingers lightly; it did make sense. The possibility of more than one table was slim, but how else would we explain the extraction of such an immense force? He shakes his head, resuming his pacing. "There's more than one game going on here... if we're dealing with-" Shaking his head once more, he pinches the bridge of his nose, and the stress returns to his posture. "Caspian.. god damn it." 

I refuse to believe that man is alive. "You killed Caspian." I remind him firmly. 

"I... couldn't do it." My warlord finally admits, catching me off guard. Caspian had tried to kill him, tried to kill me, so to think he allowed him to live-- "Sota killed Caspian, and we know now that Sota was corrupt. Someone must be standing behind him; for him to be alive, he has to have an angle, but knowing Caspian-" 

Tiberius cocks his head to the side. "One might almost think you're suspecting us? You're the one who's been ignoring your own biology." Verando glowers at him, and Tiberius chuckles with a wink. "Well, if a lycan is hunting us, then splitting up for a bit will help. The battle between the brothers is eternal, Verando; he's coming for you. With Acer dead- hmm.. have a sniff, he is dead, isn't he?"

Verando flashes his teeth, "Combat is always high on a wolf's priority; Alpha has been on edge but--"

"But you can feel him now, can't you?" 

The gray-haired man stills. He had told me in the past that they were drawn to each other, confirmed by Acer's frustration that he couldn't 'live his own life'. A constant dance, circling the original in a desperate attempt to be united; if Acer were dead and not reborn, that would mean Caspian could be trying to put the pieces back together. 

"What are the chances Caspian managed to unite with Acer's piece of the spirit?" Tiberius presses.

My warlord's jaw sets, "I need to lead him away and give you more time to find Lux. If I go to Spain, perhaps some old bloodlines are hanging around there. It was a major hub for my people; surely some remain." 

Stefan picks up his finger to interject. "There will be strigoi there too. We could acquire more allies if we were allowed to do this our way, without so many... tasty... companions standing about?" He smiles sweetly, making Keeta roll her eyes in disgust. 

"A vampire's not going to come with a strigoi. You're going to need more than this damn fairy to get a modern-day vampire to join with you." She flips her pink hair, crossing one leg over the other from her perch on the counter. "I'm going too; maybe I'll get some real damn food and not this stupid blood alternative. You look like you've killed some people." Her eyes drag over my husband, and I suddenly feel this is beyond my control. 

I didn't ask for this; I didn't want to separate; it's never gone well for us. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me, as much as I fight it. The conclusion comes down to our child, Xavier. If I gained Tyr's favor, if I separated life forces from Verando, Xavier wouldn't have to lose his father when I died, be it now or natural causes. As I mull it over, faster and faster in my head, trying for a different outcome, this option resurfaces like a pale light in a dark pond. 

Split, we could cover twice as much ground and wouldn't risk Caspian scaring off our one chance at finding Lux.  Still, a lump forms in my throat, and I feel as though they're asking me to take away my oxygen. 

The faces surrounding me are ready to sacrifice themselves for this cause, for a final stand, and I feel selfish for holding on so tightly to what's mine. Hadn't I given him to the cause enough? Hadn't I stepped into the flame often enough to warrant a reprieve from the continuous ask for more? 

Tiberius cautiously puts his hand close to mine, gaining my attention. "As a human, I imagine you can't feel the bond as a lycan does.. But I know this isn't easy. It's not forever." He reassures me; he's a creature that feeds off of affection and lust. He can feel my pain; it's mirrored in his eyes. 

Pressing my lips into a thin line, to be so exposed is uncomfortable. Everyone was making sacrifices; this was one I was unfortunately used to making. "I'm too experienced to pretend as if this isn't an acknowledgement of risk. I've dealt with Caspian before. I know what he's willing to do to get what he wants." My voice is slight, a quiet surrender to our fate. "So it's settled then. I'll take Sulema, Pascal, Tiberius, and Ryan to find Lux."

The pain is clear on his face; it had never mattered to him before, but now my life was tethered to his. There could be no quiet indifference, no more avoiding the advances of the dark man who had followed in his shadow-- Caspian would be coming for blood.

Verando nods. "I'll take Keeta and Stefan to Spain to find allies and lead Caspian away. The wedding is in ten days. We will meet back here and regroup before then, regardless of what we have found. If we have an army, we move forward with the wedding; if we don't, then I propose we head to Romania and get this over with. 

I have to meet with Lotta, the woman Ron set up for us, today. Perhaps she can shed some light on the goings on here and arrange some transport for us." 

 I could make it a single week and a few days. "The issue is that I don't know where to begin to look for this Lux."

Tiberius grins, waving me off. "Oh, he won't be too hard to find. A god in the mortal realm will want to have a little fun, mix that with a little chaos; I feel pretty confident about where we can begin to look."

______________________________________________________________________

We decided to meet with Lotta and arrange to part ways tomorrow morning in broad daylight. While there were mixed reviews on allowing society to know of our plans, it was apparent who I was and who Verando was. With Lotta's blessing, we decided that Verando would leave publicly as if we were going sightseeing. 

Hopefully, the movement would attract the attention of anyone hunting us, desperate to keep us from finding Fergus; they would follow him along with Caspian, leaving Tiberius and me to move freely.

I watch in silence as Keeta is fitted for clothes that will make her look more like me, as we are similar in height, and our shoulders are close enough to match. Stefan runs his hands through her hair, and she seems excited to get a new haircut and color, hoping to match mine as closely as possible.

 From behind, she must pass for me to the eyes of anyone following him. 

Feeling sick, I go to our room to shower and dress. Verando doesn't follow me; he is no longer my 'Randy.' He is a warlord, intent on creating plans and assuring my safety to the best of his ability. I remember the loneliness of those nights creeping in on me. He would be gone for days training; he would immerse himself in his work and his people with every fiber of his being. 

I remind myself that this is temporary; this is for our child and our people. 

Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I drown my sorrows in the fluffy muffin I snag from my plate, downing as large a swallow of vodka as possible beforehand. I follow him out the door and to the central hub for the system of tubes, where we await our departure. "France looks so different," I mumble, snaking my arm around his if only to insist myself upon him. 

But, much to my surprise, he doesn't retreat from me. Verando welcomes the contact, pulling me impossibly closer. I huddle into my scarf from the blustering wind, glimpsing the graying sky and contemplating the seriousness of the storm clouds looming overhead. 

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" We step into the pill-shaped car, and I sit beside him, lacing my fingers in his as I lean my head on his shoulder. Verando presses a button that assures we will keep the car to ourselves.  "I like to think this world can't surprise me anymore, and something like this happens. I thought New York was bad."

I shrug, observing our palms in comparison. His was larger than mine, though my fingers were longer than his. I trace my opposite hand over the texture of the multiple lines of scars, dragging over his knuckles and the backs of his hands. "At least this place doesn't seem like a wasteland. Red spent much time here; these people are better off than where we were." 

I almost miss the woman; she was a much simpler villain. But, as I consider that she killed my friend, I damn her to hell all over again. The car clacks much like a train, though the noise is significantly buffered. A small television plays quietly on the central console, welcoming our famous patrons to the country and expressing their excitement for musical talent. Little did they know they would be seeing very little of him. 

"Do you truly think Caspian is alive?" I breathe, my voice small, as if he might appear if I say his name too loudly.

"Yes." Verando sounds guarded, and I know precisely why Whitewind had no interest in sharing this information with him. Verando had made great strides, but conveying information was still a struggle for him. "Is that why you look so upset?" 

I pause, and as I consider lying, I decide that maybe I'm no better. Our world never allowed for much truth; being honest with each other felt like a full-time job. Chewing on my words, I circle my thumb on the back of his hand, tracing the outline of the smooth silver watch. "I just forgot how hard this was."

 I'm met with curiosity and hide my eyes from him, focusing on the small hand endlessly circling the face of the clock. It's a marvel of creation, yet I've been told it's outdated. 

"I don't want to let you leave. It never works out for us; something always happens, only this time, you won't be a day's run away from me. You're going to be entire countries away and-" 

His index finger catches my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his own. I'm afraid, not of our task but of him going home, of losing him. While I knew he loved me, he hadn't been home since he was enslaved. "Randy, I've been worried since I realized I loved you that you would return home the first chance you got. Letting you go back to Spain, separating knowing that that lunatic is hunting you, leaving you alone with Keeta..." 

I shake my head at the thought, trying to dispel the images. "It's all my worst fears coupled into one. I'm not worried about finding Lux; I'm just worried you won't return. I know it's silly, I know how much you love me, I'm just... damn it." I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

Verando's expression softens; I feel ridiculous, like a child throwing a tantrum. I'd crucified him, and he was accepting the verbal assault as if it were merely any other conversation. His wild streak was infamous, and I hadn't yet grown numb to the fact that he kissed Marisol or that he so desperately felt a sense of duty to those he left behind in Spain. 

The goal had always been for him to go home. "Do you need me to tell you how wrong you are? Or are you just... venting, as you say?"

I break the silence with a nervous laugh. My body feels chilled; exposed. "I'm just going to miss you, alright?"

Verando gives me my dignity, the boyish grin sneaking onto his lips and making the color come to my cheeks. Even with the time we'd spent together, he could still make my heart skip and embarrass me with how I felt about him. The slightest smile threatens my face, and I watch the television to distract myself, yet all I can think of is the warm body beside me. 

In the corner of my eye, I see he's watching me too. His brow raises, and he slips out of his overcoat. "Would you like another coat?" The button-up he changed into is form-fitting, accented with an attractive tie that I'm sure Stefan selected for him. I nod, pursing my lips, happy for any extra warmth I can steal. 

He leans over to drape the coat over my shoulders, trapped between him and the clothing; I catch the gleam in his eye. His hands linger on my shoulders as he pulls the edges of the coat into a uniform position; it swallows me in size. "If I didn't know better, Mr.Mercer, I'd say you were taking measure of me."

Verando feigns offense, "I beg your pardon? Take measure of an innocent gentleman? I'm a married man." His hand slides down to rest on my thigh. "But-" The word rolls off his lips in a low hum, "What if I were?"

I swallow as his hand slides up, resting at the junction of my thighs with a firm grasp. He nears me, the opposite hand catching himself on the wall to pin me here. My hands move independently, resting on his chest and toying with the tie. "Well, that just won't do. I'm a man of action, and you have no right to look so... ravishing, Mr.Mercer." 

While my body ached, my back throbbed, and my regions were thoroughly conquered, I struggled to deny this man access to my body. Knowing I might not see him again, I wanted to get as much of him as possible.

"Ravishing?" He chuckles, amused by my attempt at his accent.

I roll my eyes with a groan and jerk him to me by his tie, crushing my lips to his. "Shut up and kiss me." I sigh against his lips. "I don't have enough blood flow for foreplay." I catch him by surprise, and the startle at my crude language makes me laugh. "Oh, your virgin ears."

"You are foul, Mr.Mercer," Verando whispers into my ear before diving to kiss my neck. I tangle my hands in his hair, arching against him as his stubble scratches my skin. An intercom dings, and we both freeze. 

"Um... Excuse' moi, Monsieurs? Veuillez vous abstenir de faire l'amour dans notre voiture." The nervous voice pleads, making us both chuckle breathlessly. He presses his forehead to mine, kissing me chastely before pulling away to straighten his tie. 

"Désolé." He responds, his cheek dimpling with his grin. I'm much less polite as I come down from the excitement, "Best not scare the locals, yeah?"

 I can't say I agree as I snuggle into his coat, gesturing with my eyes at the situation he'd caused me. "Speak for yourself; I'd happily make tabloids after that performance."