As we make our way to our bedroom, I find that I'm grateful that we aren't returning to Marisol's just yet. The compound lacked much when it came to charm, and yet, I couldn't fault its copious rooms or its convenient nature. The steel structure offered us a means of escape, besides the fact that I've become increasingly concerned about leaving Legardo alone with two children. 

Staying here for the remainder of our time in New York would be best; it was much closer to the Dead City than Verando and Marisol's homes on the beach. "I'm going to shower." I coax, hopefully, as we enter the room. 

Verando hesitates, standing before me in a naked uncertainty that I'm not accustomed to when it comes to him; it's not his body that bears exposure to me but the truth of the depth of his despair. His fingers trail lightly over his forearms as he loosely crosses his arms and frowns at the ground. 

Verando's a good actor, I had almost been lulled into believing the facade in the company of our small task force. I approach him more humbly, tipping my head to see his face better through the grimace. 

"Randy, I can't ask you if you're alright. I know you're not. I.. tell me what you need?" 

There was no room for guesswork in our lives, not at this point in the game. I place my hands on the large pectoral muscles, and for a moment, Tomas crosses my mind, and I miss him so badly that my chest hurts. 

I can hear it plain as day in that Irish accent, talking about Verando's 'breasts' and like a truly insane person, I start to giggle in the middle of seriousness and darkness. He regards me quietly; that full upper lip twitches the slightest bit in amusement for my lack of tact. 

 "Well, for starters, you could keep your laughter to yourself? What're you carrying on about?" Taking a quick inventory of himself, I drag my fingers down the set of jagged scars on the left side, admiring their brutality. 

With his healed musculature, they were more of a stark reminder of where we had begun.

With an airy sigh, I shake my head at myself. "I was just thinking about Tomas. Do you remember how he used to talk about your 'tits'?" I quote, borrowing his boyish grin because the lude duo caused me quite a bit of trouble in their worst moments. 

I press a gentle kiss to one of the scars, relishing in the warmth and the masculine scent of a thoroughly exercised Alpha male. 

"It just brings me full circle to realizing you were making breast motions with your hands behind me while I was speaking to my soon-to-be wife! Talking about her bodyguard nonetheless!" 

I've earned a touch of amusement, exasperated all over again by the nerve of the pair. 

"You're lucky Roksana didn't murder you. I guess I'm just trying to think of happier times." 

Shrugging innocently, I seem to have dragged a part of him out of the depths. The back of my clutched fist presses to his navel as a means of keeping myself from pouncing on him, my hands travel on their own. I was shell-shocked, too. I wasn't sure if I could muddle through any sort of intimacy, not with the thought so fresh in my mind.

I kiss his collarbone, following the trail of destruction to the fang punctures on the base of his neck. His body was still glistening, skin hot to the touch. 

How could we be happy knowing our friend, his ex-wife, the mother of our child, was dead? 

Verando must be sensing my despair; his hands rise to collect my face. "Tomas was making the breast motions, for one thing. For two, Roksana was something else. Third, someone had to keep you from getting too big for your lady britches. It might as well have been me. All I can recall about that day was that Loan was not kind to your outfit choice. Did give you some fantastic birthing hips, though." 

My hands snake up to grope his chest as I manage a half-hearted giggle at the memory. Verando brushes his nose against mine, kissing my forehead.

His breath catches just slightly and I snag one of the offending nipples, rolling it between my thumb and forefinger. "She was big-breasted; I think that's why you fancied her." I muse, allowing myself to drift into temptation, to test the waters and see if this is okay. Something primal in me urges me on, pleading for satisfaction and release. 

Feeling him resist writhing under my fingers, my free hand slides down his stomach towards his waistband. I'd let him call the shots; I'd let him tell me if I was pushing too hard.

 "Jealous?" Verando exhales, reaching to grab my hand, and I press my cheek into his grasp instead. My teeth rake over his palm, "What will I do with you? You're insatiable."

"Satisfy me? Use me to release some of this anger, this hurt, my body is yours." I suggest it as if it were obvious. "I'm not sure what to feel, and I'm even less certain what you're feeling. I need to know you're going to be okay. My body is here, offered as tribute to my Alpha. Use me if it helps, I'm feeling... lost." I admit.

Verando slips out of my grasp with a heavy sigh and heads for the bathroom. I follow after him, and he gives me a stern glance over his shoulder as he rests his hands on the counter and glares at the large mirror. I wrap my arms around him from behind, pressing my cheek to his back as I listen to his pounding heart. "We have so much to do, so much to plan. How can you even think about sex in a time like this?"

I was depraved, I suppose. It hurt so badly to think he could read into this as anything other than a desperate attempt to reconnect. "The only time I feel I can know entirely how you're feeling is when you're at my mercy, bearing your soul to me as I come apart. It's not the sex I'm after, it's the passion and the raw emotion." My cheeks redden as I kiss his back, holding onto him tighter. 

"Nic..." he manages, exhaling shakily as I kiss a trail down his spine in slow, hot, presses of my lips.

"We can multi-task if that helps." I plead, feeling my chest growing tight, terrified he would reject me. In truth, that was part of the fear. That he'd never touch me again, that he'd never recover from this tragedy. I couldn't risk him retreating from me again.

"Multi-task?"

I turn on the shower and test the water with my fingers as I think about my proposal. "Talk about what you wish, and I'll have my fun. You are at your finest when you command over someone; you find me an insatiable whore... let me do my job and serve you." 

Verando makes a face, and I see that he's not so convinced. I slip my shirt off and shimmy out of my pants and boxers, collecting his hand in my own, bringing his fingers up to my lips as I carefully suck on two of them. "Try?" I manage, kissing his palm. 

Taking a step towards me, he collects my face in his hands and presses a slow kiss to my lips.

 "I'm not sure I can do this. Every time I close my eyes-"

"Then fuck me until it goes away." I exhale, trembling under the weight of the fear. "Damn it, at least tell me you'd like to. Randy, I'm so damn frightened I'm losing you. I can't lose you again, please... please, I can't." I hold his hands tighter, shutting my eyes tightly as his thumb brushes away the wetness from under my eye. 

Kissing me once more, he exhales shakily. "We can try. But there are terms, you must endure as long as I do. You can't cum until I'm satisfied, that is my deal."  Could I stand it? Reluctantly, I nod. It was a start, he was playing my game, giving me the parameters I desired. "Your safe word is Stop. Once you say stop, we're done, but so are you."

My heart rate quickens, and I nod once more. We shower quickly; I kiss him between washing and scrubbing, trying to get my fill of him while I still can. The way that he kisses me is different than when we were new at this, the intimate way that his tongue passes against mine, his lips melt against my own. I know his intention is not to torture me, it's to play my game, while also giving him space to move at his own speed.

 I scrub his hair dutifully, admiring the silvering strands. He was slowly shifting from a slate gray to a more silver color, with independent strands throughout. 

"I like this length." Verando distracts me as he does the same for me, running his fingers through my locks that had grown out again. "I'm just glad it's red again."

 Kissing my neck, I lean back against him before turning in his arms, and the kiss builds. Hot, more hurried, making my heart rate quicken. I hook my arms around his neck and easily pull myself onto his body, binding my legs over his hips as he catches me. "Are you sure you want this?" He murmurs against my lips, making me pull at the roots of his hair. 

"I'm not afraid of you." I challenge him boldly. 

Verando carries me to the bedroom and snags a towel on the way before tossing me on the bed and drying off his body. I shiver from the lack of lycan body heat as he throws me the towel, and I dry myself. I feel his lips on my neck as I finish on my hair. 

"Good." He exhales as he kisses me. "Tell me about this scar." He trails down the length of one of the scars across my chest, long and spiraling across my ribs. I blink, retracting from him, but he pins me, capturing my hand in one of his as he places it over my head. "Do you want me to stop?" 

The flash of fear crossed my face, he wanted to take me with him, to live through the trauma together as he worshipped my body. If I wanted him to bear all, he needed his pound of flesh from me, too. 

"I want to know everything about you. Mental satisfaction, my love."

"It was a dragon. He swung his tail at me, and I didn't move fast enough. It was while I was in school. They all are." I hedge as he kisses down to find my sensitive nipple. The warm tongue swirls in slow circles as my body chills under the sensation. My free hand finds his damp hair, biting my lower lip as I writhe. 

"These?" He releases my hand to kiss down to my abdomen. 

"I-" I don't think we had ever talked about my chest. My entire upper body was riddled with marks; even with his harsh nature, he had never marked me as my instructors had. "I told you I had to get through school somehow." 

Verando glances up at me, those light eyes filled with concern but I know that he wants to know. He kisses the spot above my navel and trails his tongue back up towards my sternum. I inhale sharply and grips the sheets. 

"My instructor was quite rough with me, they are dragons turned into humans, as dragons do when they get more powerful. They have claws and he would grab onto me wherever he saw fit." 

The smoldering trail comes back to my neck, and I shiver at the stubble on my skin. "All of these are from him?"

I can't help the sad laugh, maybe this was a mistake? Was this what I putting him through?  "It wasn't just him. To survive, I slept with all of my instructors. They kept me safe in exchange for payment, I can't say I had a choice in exactly what they did to me. I.. was just a horrible student, unfortunately." 

Verando rises to look down at me, waiting for my gaze to meet his. "I think you're incredibly talented. I have always thought that. You frozen Caspian in a wave of ice. I more so thought you were spoiled than a lack of magical ability." He presses his lips to my jaw, marking a trail to my ear before catching the lobe in his teeth and sighing with restraint as he attacks my neck.

I arch against him, no longer chilled, feeling his erection pressing against my thigh. I hadn't thought about that time in so long, it wasn't something I liked to think about, it didn't define me, it wasn't who I was any longer. 

"I was quite different. You saw me when we first met. I was a shell, ashamed of what I had become. In school,  most of my friends were eaten by the dragons, and we were hunted every day. I just-" I tilt my head back with a whimper of desire. "I'm not like you. I don't thrive in that situation. I was drowning, my body was all I had to give."

 Verando pauses, and I know I've hit a sore spot. Placing a chaste kiss on my cheek, he smiles almost sadly. 

"And I threw you right back into it not much after... I wish you could see what I see. You're incredible, beyond compare. I'm sorry darling, this wasn't intended to be a pain fest.. I just wanted-" Hesitating, he seems to regret bringing up this painful subject. I clutch his face, kissing him once more, tracing my tongue over his lower lip.

"I have mulled this over for quite some time, why these fledglings are struggling, why we aren't farther along; the answer is 'you.' You have set my expectations so unbelievably high it makes it hard for the rest of us." Verando brushes his nose against mine; I push my hand into his face in embarrassment.

I grimace as he licks my palm, shoving two of my fingers into his mouth and shivering as he sucks on them, licking the length of each digit before biting me, making me retreat to frown up at him.

"You were taught to survive, you have always endured, there is not an ounce of surrender in your body, and I'm afraid I've been expecting that from this task force. The people of our time fought so valiantly because of your ability to rally and push forward. So, my next topic of discussion is, what would you do?"

I'm reeling from the undying devotion and pinch my brows together, uncomfortable with the praise. "I think your plan is fine. Right now, I'm dying for you to stop talking and have your way with me."

"Ah, but you changed it, you want the task force to run interference?" Slipping between my thighs, he sits on his knees to gaze down at me as his hand wraps around my cock. Slowly he begins to stroke, gathering his own manhood in his hand as he strokes them together. I whimper at the sensation, wanting more, needing more.

Why did I agree to this? 

"I don't want anyone to feel left out."

"Why?" He quickens his pace, and I bite my lower lip, gripping the sheets above my head. It was hot, so erotic the way he watched me with that devilish expression while stroking me against himself. 

"People who are left out won't follow you. Magic users need stimulation to trigger their magic; if they're powerless, they're useless to our cause." 

I'm climbing. I grit my teeth, and his hand stops and the feeling fades. I glare at him, panting as my body begins to fade away from the edge. "Oh, you are a complete asshole."

"Flattery gets you nowhere, darling." Verando starts again, casually grinding his hips against mine. "So you want to endanger them?"

I curse out loud, squirming under his grasp. "Yes. If they're going to quit, they need to do it now. I think you're being too easy on them. They aren't like our people, but they are capable." I manage; my body starts to tremble as he twists his hand in such a delicious way. Once more, he pauses the moment I'm about to finish.

"You are going to burst my heart!" I complain; at this point, I'd take it over this torture. 

"Then ask me to stop?" He trails his fingers up my over-sensitive cock, and I moan in response. "You are ravishing when you're coming apart like this; it's my favorite sight. " Verando braces himself on his hand as he lowers to kiss my lips. 

Taking my two fingers in his mouth, he makes me writhe as he sucks them, smirking at my reddened cheeks. "What if I asked you to run for office? Take these two and put them to work, let me see you touch yourself."

"Excuse me?!" I demand, and once more, he stops. I tug roughly on his hair, kissing him as passionately as I dare. My tongue claims his mouth as I slide my hand down my body and slip my fingers inside. 

Breaking the kiss, he moves back to my neck to escape my relentless lips.

Verando bites the tender skin of my neck, sucking the skin to mark me, and I rake my nails against his back in punishment, earning myself an appreciative groan. I had forgotten he likes pain.  "I want you to run for office. We will need a magical leadership role when this is all over. I spoke with Ron about it.. he thinks you could form your sovereignty again?" 

"Are you insane?" 

He sinks his teeth into me once more, and I inhale sharply at the discomfort as I quicken my fingers. 

"No. I'm admitting that I'm out of my realm. You wanted to multi-task."

"I want you to f-"

"Language, my darling." He warns me with a chuckle. "This is a business meeting." 

"Fuck you, then stop biting me." I moan, tilting my head back as he torments me with his skilled hand, all while I'm desperately attempting to gain enough friction with my fingers. My thighs want to press together, but he's in between them, keeping them spread as I struggle to hold myself together. 

Verando sits up once more and places his hands on my knees. "You have done quite well. We are almost done, then you get your reward." 

My chest heaves; I'm a panting, drenched mess beneath him as my body trembles from being brought to the edge so many times. 

"Will you run for office? Or at least reclaim your throne? They aren't going to like it, but your people are going to need you to guide them back into some normalcy. If not a king, how about a diplomat, someone who speaks for their rights?"

"Randy." I plead with him for many things: his body, my sanity, the end to this torment. My fingers can't satisfy me, I'm at my wit's end, but he's forcing me to calm down, think, and rationalize.

Their laws couldn't possibly cater to us, but we needed schools, training grounds, and places to practice our craft. We needed legalization. There would be a whole new war to fight when this was over. It only made sense that I would resume our spot in history. Finally, I nod as he grinds against me. "Yes. God, yes, I'll do whatever it takes. Please. I need you inside of me." 

My words bring me back to my lips once more, kissing me deeply as he shoves past my fingers, and I lock my legs around his waist. "As you command, Your Majesty." I want him to stop and at the same time, it feels so impossibly good. My hands find his back, raking my nails into his shoulders as he fills me over and over again.

His hand covers my mouth, and I moan against his palm. "Hush. You're going to alert Artifice." he croons against my ear, kissing my cheek, unable to stop himself from groaning against me. "You feel so good." 

I can't help it; I can't keep it in. I surrender to him, taking whatever he will give me, his pain and discomfort, my sanity and salvation. My body refused to lower my volume as I finally received what I needed since he looked so lost and broken. Shaking his head at me, he releases his grip on my mouth.

 "Artifice, deaden the sound in this room."

"I can put your bedroom into stealth mode for private conversations; it is ideal for patient and doctor confidentiality. Would you like to activate it?"

"Yes." Artifice chimes in response, and the lights dim as red rims the floor where it meets the walls. "If you're going to be disobedient, then I want to hear you."

Dazed, I manage to glance up at him, only to regret my decisions as those strong hands hook under my knees, bringing them up to my chest as he exposes me to his mercy. Running his tongue over his teeth, I blush at the way he looks at me as if he wishes to devour me.

"Look at me; I want to see you." It's a near possible request, I'm a mess of profanity as my body is rocked by the intensity in which he slams into me. The bed shudders in response to his merciless treatment, I feel strange as my whole body begins to tremble. I can't control it, I feel myself threatening to implode, and all I can do is surrender to it. 

My entire body contracts as I arch off the bed, hearing him curse and groan as I feel him find his release inside of me, bringing me to my own completion. Panting hard, his hand finds my throat to pin me beneath him as he rides out the waves of some of the most incredible sex I've had. It was as if I came with my entire body. 

I'm shaking beyond my control, an oversensitive mess as my body attempts to recover from the all-out assault on my person.

Rolling on my stomach as he withdrawals, I'm breathless as I try desperately to remember the date and time. My heart pounds in my ears, my chest heaving as I come to. "What the hell was that?" I manage, whimpering for him to not have me again as I feel his hands on my back.

Carefully, slowly, he kneads the muscles on my back in a slow massage. "You're going to be so sore tomorrow; that's what that was."

"I'm sore now!" I complain, limp against the bed as I relish in the feeling of his warm hands. Verando goes over every inch of me, reminding me why he is so different from all the others. He loved me, truly loved me, and the aftercare was proof of that. 

 After the long moments spent massaging my tight muscles and aching thighs, he lays down beside me. I snuggle against the warmth, wrapping my arm around his. "I received a call this morning that our arrangements for our wedding hadn't been solidified. Nice venue by the way. I took care of it."

I flush at the realization and glance over my shoulder at him only to see that he's already beginning to drift off. Was that the reason for the funk he'd been in, today, specifically? 

I have to tell him; he deserves to know. The reason why I've been off beyond Marisol's death, the reason by I felt I didn't deserve any of this happiness. 

"Randy?"

Verando yawns, nuzzling my neck with his nose. "Hmm?"

I kiss the back of his hand, holding him closer to me, "I killed Red. I didn't want you to have to do it, I-" I hesitate, "I wanted to do it; I had to be sure it was done."

The silence between us builds, and for a moment, I'm worried I've lost him. Could he ever forgive me? He kisses my neck, allowing me to breathe. "Thank you." I can't help but wonder if I'm being taken for a fool. "Thank you, Nic. That couldn't have been easy."

"I don't understand.." I admit.

He holds me as his entire body melts along the back of mine; every possible piece of us that could touch melds together. "I know you value life; I also know that I would have wanted her to suffer, allowing her to escape yet again. I'm alright with this, more than alright. I wish you didn't have to do it."

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that." I admit, honestly.

I can practically hear the eye roll as he sighs contentedly. "I have my moments. I'm grateful for you; you know me better than I know myself some days. I love you so much, darling. Even if you are a dreadful wedding planner." His voice drifts as he begins to doze off, and I wonder if he'll even remember this in the morning.

"Artifice. Off." As I snag the tablet off the nightstand and work on getting this wedding off the ground, my inspiration is renewed. 

( How are you liking the 'fluff', the romantic parts, these softer moments between these boys inbetween the intense stuff?)