Eating had never been a priority to me, much as I did love to cook and often found myself enjoying the rich flavors of my culture, I often found that I was quite indifferent to the distance between meals. This newfound desire to eat every bite of what was in front of me regardless of what it was, satisfied some carnal urge so much deeper than the mere impression of hunger. 

The ravenous hunger that the scent of the cooking meat triggered, turned me into something less than human and caused my very body to ache for nourishment. The vessel I had sacrificed over to the wolf had been inadequate, underfed, and undernourished. Fighting against my body on the subject of devouring anything edible in front of me with a distinct lack of grace was unsettling. 

While I knew Verando didn't mind my enthusiasm, I was taken aback by how little control I had. In the back of my mind, the presence of something more lingered and I quickly ventured back towards the forefront of my subconscious. I was grateful he opted to remain close by. With my current level of unpredictability, I didn't want to be too far from him nor did the voice inside wish to have him out of arms reach.

 With the thought of food out of the way, I was much more capable of thinking around the nagging instincts that lurked behind my every thought. It would seem that everything had an undertone, every noise had a curiosity or intention and every smell came with a question that had me drifting haphazardly back to my room. 

Verando speaks quietly to an elf guard about the broken door, apologizing for the damage to the marble and frightening the staff. While he was used to a young lycan, they had most likely never seen one before and they were quite concerned about him taking me anywhere by himself. A piece of me wanted them to see what true fear could look like, to discipline their weakness. 

Shaking my head, I scramble to find my clothes and get on with this day. My body is not my own, my thoughts tainted with an intent that was never there before. The desire to claim what was mine, to assert myself among these lesser beings, perhaps getting out was the safest for everyone.

 Assuring them that he was the safest on his own, he dismisses the elf and enters the room as I painstakingly pull on my boots. My clothes feel strange in the way they fit, no longer am I rolling them a dozen times to get the length right. My chest claims the space instead of falling short against the well-cut material. 

Elves had a unique fashion that had always made me feel too slim. In this body, as I rotate in the mirror, I feel uncertain about what is reflected at me, the plains of my body foreign under my hands as I explore the much more taut muscles. 

Would I ever get used to these sharper eyes staring back at me?

 "Are you alright?" Verando tilts his head, surveying the scene of tattered clothes that I had shredded in an attempt to get them on my body. He knows me too well as his eyes settle on mine in the mirror. "It's only the first day, darling. There's a lot to get used to. Don't feel discouraged."

It was easy for him, he'd been born this way. I'd lived my entire life with a normal amount of strength, at a snail's pace with plenty of room for error. In this new form, I had no warning as to how I would feel or what would trigger me to react. With a spark of anger, I feel the heat boiling in my body for only a split second before it simmers back into irritation with the task.

 I have to think about the frustration, realizing it's not at him but in the task of tearing countless clothes. I feel uncertain in how I am beneath the surface for it seems something lurks just beneath the veil of my control. I can only imagine that this would be the wolf that I would inevitably meet. 

"I just feel different." I finally summarize. "My clothes fit, I feel... good... it's not something I'm used to." 

To not be in discomfort, to feel healthy and vital, it was a novelty that I couldn't enjoy. 

Approaching me as if I were a wild animal out of its cage, Verando emits calm as he stands before me. He wishes to touch me, his hands hovering before resting at his sides, I was not predictable enough yet to touch.

 While I was nowhere near his impressive six foot two, I was closer than I'd ever been. Startled, I near the mirror and frown at the disappointment for just a moment. "I didn't ask to be taller." The petty complaint somehow made me feel better, I had liked our height difference. "Are you disappointed?" I finally manage, awkwardly gripping the lip of the dresser as if it might prevent me from mauling him should he give me the wrong answer.

Verando runs a hand through his hair, weighing how I might react to the information. "The lycan side will change your body to make the best vessel for your wolf. There will be some changes, but, no Nic, I'm just relieved that you're alive." He was too sincere for my current level of malice.

 I felt hot, cramped, almost claustrophobic in the room. 

I wanted out.

Making a face at the sharp dark eyes staring back at me, I turn away and practice not giving myself whiplash with the speed of it. "What did you want to show me?"

Outside, leaving the castle behind us, I feel strange as if my body were electrically charged. It was like magic in a way, though deeper and more primal in how it affected my senses. Where I had expected the darkness of the woods, Verando led me away towards the mountain range where the dark magic had yet to touch.

 Everything, admittedly, looks different. The darkness around my home was receding and while the trees looked dead, they didn't appear to sickly and black. My eyes track things I'd never thought to consider, the flicker of the breeze teasing the snow and the sway of the tree tops to indicate the direction of the wind. A variety of delicious aromas circle in my nostrils and bring a euphoric moan from my lips at the thought of being loose to explore. 

So desperately did I want to run, an urge that quickened my heart and made my hair stand on end. Cautiously, I clutch my body as if to hold myself together. What if I never came back? Nervous, I huddle closer to him, seeking out the familiar warmth that only felt normal to me now. We were the same temperature, no longer did I need that comfort.

Among the mountains, the fir and different varieties of cedars shivered with healthy vigor in the chill morning. I marvel at my frozen breath, that I feel warm even though I'm dressed for mild weather. 

He stops, slipping behind me to rest his hands on my shoulders. "Go on, take a whiff."

Folding my hands together, I expect a chill, and instead, I'm wrapped in a warmth that invites me outwards toward the intoxicating scent of the woods. With his hands holding me, I feel more confident in reaching outward with my senses and exploring the aroma that drew me so strongly. 

I slowly inhale, allowing myself to be consumed by the overwhelming scents and silence. 

The wind merely whispered across the snow, I could smell a fresh spring and taste the wetness of the air coupled with the heavy pine and fir. 

"Wow." I sigh. "I feel like I've never been outside before." A pang of regret hits me and I spin to face him. "I kept you inside for so long..." My mind races, playing a thousand scenes of our time in France and on the road, to recently when he'd been practically domesticated. 

With a half-hearted smirk, he shrugs one shoulder. "You get used to it. The wolf always wants out but your human side can be quite reasonable if you allow it to be, you taught me that." Raising his hand, he brushes the back of his fingers gently over my cheek and I feel that voice quiet for just a moment as I admire him with these fresh eyes. 

Truly seeing him, only to be distracted by the scents rolling in off the oncoming breeze.

Slipping out of his jacket, he offers it to me, and for a moment, I wonder if he wants me to put it on but instead, he gestures to my nose in a casual waft of the material. I sample the scent and feel my body coil to spring, to lay claim on the sinful man, yet the intensity of his warning on his stern face brings me to heel. 

He was still the Alpha, after all, at least that hadn't changed. "If we get separated, you can find me using my scent. I need to teach you to work with your body, it'll make you less dangerous."

Dangerous. I was dangerous. More accurate words hadn't been used to portray me, even in my human life. 

My thoughts drift to Xavier and I pull my lips into a thin line. I should prioritize more, instantly scolding myself for getting so caught up in the newness and not focusing on the importance of making sure I understood my body. As I pull myself inward, finding bits and pieces of my mortal soul in the tattered remains of my subconscious, I can feel some resemblance of control wash over me.

"I'm going to leave this here, that way you can find your way back to the elf kingdom in a worst-case scenario-" Pain crosses my face, remorse and regret for something I hadn't even done, did he think I'd hurt him? Did he think I'd go feral and abandon him in the woods? 

Setting the jacket down on the last bits of iron wrought fencing surrounding the castle, he collects me in his arms to hold me to his chest, contact that I so desperately needed to remind myself that beneath all of this I was still a man, I was still human. I nuzzle my cheek against him and bury myself in his scent for comfort, listening to the familiar sound of his pounding heart.

 "I'm not planning on losing you, but, you are a bit of a wild card. It's best to be prepared."

"For what?" I grumble as he eases me out of my jacket and lays it on the fence as well. 

"For you to have a bit too much fun and outrun me. I'm fast but you're younger than I am and a touch more unhinged, we are laying the foundation for your future. Leaving a scent trail to find your way home is smart for any lycan, no matter the age or experience." 

It made sense, much as I didn't like to admit that there was a way for me to leave him behind. 

This was uncharted territory for me, I had been on pack runs but I'd never witnessed the inner workings of wolf life and what that entailed. When he was with me, he favored his mortal side and Alpha obliged. As he pries himself away from me, with a casual gesture, he invites me to follow him as he starts the casual jog toward the mountain range. 

Running had never been something I was good at, I'd never been fit enough nor had I been interested in anything along those lines. My body had always given out long before I felt properly expended, often embarrassingly soon, and thus had burned me on the taste of cardio. 

Yet here, jogging beside him like a scorned toddler, I was slowly beginning to become at peace with my body. 

The restrictions of my humanity had begun to slip away, welcoming the impending fitness of my reborn side that had taken over my meager form. My lungs easily followed suit, my body slipping into a casual rhythm of indifference to the pace that hardly even taxed my humming muscles. Every fiber in me threatened to come alive the closer we got to the tree line, moving at a pace much quicker than I had anticipated. 

"Follow behind me and let me know if you need me to stop."

My lips part, curious as to what he could mean yet he scales the rock face with almost feline-like accuracy. My humanity hesitates where the inner lycan propels me forward and I cling to the rocks with a feral intensity that sends the more fragile pieces crashing to the floor. Scoffing at my lurch, Verando carefully maneuvers his way up the cliff side, not incredibly steep but more treacherous than I'd dare to scale. 

I do my best to mirror his moves, learning my hand holds and my grip strength on much less breakable objects in the rocks that shivered under my iron grip. I could feel that my problem was that I was too elastic, my reach was confident, able to go way beyond a much more timid extension. 

In my fight to keep up with him, I race well beyond what I thought myself capable of. With every inch I gain on him, he takes two and pushes himself to challenge my budding excitement. 

Turning off the cliff face, he offers me a boyish grin as he pushes off and expertly grips the limb of a nearby tree. Seating carefully up on the large branches, he motions for me to follow with a teasingly curled finger and I wonder if he truly wishes to test my immortality. 

Yet, as I stare at him, bewildered and enthralled all at the same time, my body acts on instinct as I launch myself across the space and narrowly manage to grip the branch in my haphazard attempt. 

It snaps, cracking with an explosive eruption of splinters and bark yet I find little to panic about as I abandon the branch and grip the next to slow me down. This one bows, groaning and whining as it takes my weight, but then innocently springs back to life under my shakey legs. 

I expect fatigue, but instead, I feel fit to explode much like the branch. Verando caught my gaze, checking to make sure that I was alright. 

I can't help but grin back as I find my bearings, I was more than alright, I was alive. 

"Catch me if you can." Verando challenges, his tone teasing, as he slips down the branches so skillfully it's as if he hardly touched them at all. Where he had the grace, I had raw determination and unbridled excitement. Once his feet hit the ground, he made a break for it, running through the trees and into the dimly lit woods with me following close behind. 

With his longer legs, he was much more capable of navigating the rocky terrain but I was faster in the turns. The wind whistles through my hair, my body rejoicing at the use and the desire to hunt and run, I find myself more desperate to catch him with each passing moment. I crash through the bushes, cushioned by the fresh snowfall, knowing that I lack the finesse to truly capture the cunning gray-haired man. 

Yet with each leap, I got closer and closer, much as he teased me with careful turns and twists to maneuver just out of my grasp. He was enjoying the chase just as much as I was, enjoying something that he'd long since given up when he'd chosen to be with me. 

A companion, one who was like him, one who could share this side of his world. I lose him in the trees as we near the water, the trickling having caught my attention and drawing me from the game. 

I make my way towards the steady rumble, the stream manages to navigate through the frozen lands. My body normally would have taken joy from finding this slice of water, only to feel nothing now but appreciation for the potential of a drink that wasn't stale from age and reeking of life in a barrel. Slipping down to my knees at the edge of the stream, I cup my hands and take a long drink from the crystal clear waters. 

Satisfying, cold, nearing heavenly, I sigh contentedly at the reflex to remain. For a split second, I knew that this was where I belonged. The call from the depth of the woods beckoned me, a whisper to run and never look back, a hand outstretched to a side of me that so badly wished to take it. 

I startle as I feel his hands on my shoulders, his lips pressed to the side of my neck. "We'll have to work on your spatial awareness."

Blinking away the surprise, I find myself leaning into him as I return to that familiar ground where I truly belong. The call of the woods silences, yielding to my true place. Distracted, I can only think of my pounding pulse. 

"I'm not even tired..." I marvel, looking at my hands only to gasp at the shock of my bare skin revealed to me. Then, without warning, breaking out into a rumble of laughter at the sight of my tattered clothes. "Oh, I seem to have disrobed."

Raising an eyebrow, my warlord casually adjusts a piece of the remains of my shirt. "Mmm, I like it. It suits you." Resting on his hip beside me, he brushes a strand of hair from my forehead, only to near me. My lips part, hoping for contact, disrupted as his nose brushes against mine affectionately with a slow inhale. 

"Not bad for a first run." The praise brings me a new wave of euphoria that brings another onslaught of laughter, I suddenly knew what made Helen squirm and prance at every utterance of approval. 

I would live for that pleasure emanating from his gaze. He was proud of me, I had pleased him. "Can we do it again?" I ask hopefully, tracking the flutter of bird wings as a lonely sparrow lazily hovers overhead. The smell interests me, I drag my tongue over my upper lip as I consider what the pudgy bird might taste like. 

"Whatever you like, darling. I'm yours for the day." 

Standing quickly, I brush off what remains of my clothes, my body feeling as though it was pulled in a dozen different directions. "I think I'd like to explore a bit more if that's okay." I couldn't possibly ruin the outfit any more than I had and it wasn't as if there was anyone out here to see me. Nodding in agreement, he stands as well and dusts the snow from his pants. 

Once more, I'm met with the striking realization that this man belonged to me. The tangle of silver hair dusted with flakes of frost from his time in the trees, the pales of his outfit standing out against the shimmering perfection of the white snow. 

"There was a clearing not far from here, it'd be a good spot to practice honing your senses."

Stooping down as he speaks, I collect a snowball in my hands. To get what I wanted would take tact, cunning, and above all else, courage. As he turns to gather my answer, I pitch the snowball and land it directly in the center of his chest. Earning an annoied rumbling, growl, the corner of my mouth twitches with excitement. 

"I think I'd like a rematch." I challenge.