Driving back to base, I tried to sleep, but after Barricade's attack, I could not find peace of mind. It was constantly racing and thinking 'what if.' What if I listened to Optimus. What if I just let Sideswipe get the box. What if I would have just let the bullet drop to the floor. What if...I didn't kill Uncle Jesse. My body shivered at the thought.

Sideswipe has not spoken to me since he asked if I was okay. It's a possibility that he's just giving me space, but time has passed and Sideswipe needed answers. "Did you manage to get the box?" He asked me. "No...I didn't." I answered softly. "Could you not find it?" Sideswipe pressed further, eager to know if I accomplished my goal. "I found it." I told him bluntly. "What happened? Did Barricade attack you while you were home?" Sideswipe asked me. "No he didn't." I began to tear up, but I hid my face from all mirrors or anything I suspected to be another eye for Sideswipe.

"Sophia, can you tell me what happened?" Sideswiped questioned with a concerned tone. My heart began to beat irregularly, again. This time is was the only thing I could hear as it took over my sense of hearing, replacing it with the beating of my heart. I couldn't act nervous, suspicious, or anything of such sort that may put my character in question with the autobots. They will reject me, kick me out. And I have just started to get used to them playing a part in my life.

Trying to calm myself, I began to hear Sideswipe's engine as he drove. "Sophia?" Sideswipe called my name in confusion. "Oh, sorry. I just...started dozing off, but I'm fine." I lied. "I know you're tired, but could you tell me what went down?" Sideswipe asked me again. I sighed, still unsure if I should tell the whole truth. I decided not to. "I left my house, and Barricade pulled up by me. His holoform came out suggesting he take me home. I didn't know it was a holoform until I saw the decepticon's insignia on the police car. So I ran, but he transformed and attacked." I explained to him, leaving the reason why I left, completely out. But Sideswipe noticed how I cut a corner and asked, "Why did you leave the house? I told you to wait for me there." Damn it. "I-I was just walking around my hometown, that's all." After I lied once more, Sideswipe tried to put the pieces together, but it didn't fit. "You said you found the box, so why did you leave the house and not at least take it with you?" Sideswipe interrogated.
I was stumped and I didn't know what to say that would make sense. Instead of hearing my voice answer, I heard Optimus speak through the com link. "Sideswipe..." Optimus spoke sternly, this time concern and disappointed edged his voice. "Yes sir." Sideswipe responded sternly but defeated. "What is your current status?" Optimus asked.

"We are about two and half hours away from base. Have you spoken to Bumblebee?" Sideswipe responded to an upset Optimus. "Just a few minutes ago. He is not far behind you." Optimus informed Sideswipe. He continued, "Bumblebee informed me of Barricade's attack. How is Sophia?" Optimus asked worried. "She's here with me safe." Sideswipe told Optimus. I might be inside an autobot, but with the decepticons lurking around Earth's soil, I don't think I'll ever feel safe. "We are awaiting your arrival. Stay in touch." Optimus noted. "Will do." Sideswipe responded and with that Optimus cut the com link. Throughout that whole conversation, I was waiting for Optimus to address me for some reason. He knows I can hear him, but he decided to only speak to Sideswipe. Trying to avoid the previous conversation, I leaned back in the passenger's seat, laid my head to rest, and managed to fall asleep.

Sideswipe pulled into base, the bright lights and footsteps of the autobots, managed to wake me up. Without warning, Sideswipe transformed while I was still inside causing me to become a little sick to my stomach. In his hand, he began walking towards where all the autobots were standing, except Mudflap and Skids were parked in the autobot hangar. Optimus was in clear view and I couldn't really comprehend what he was feeling right now, but his facial expression was as stern as ever. Seeing Sideswipe and I, he exchanged a few words with Ratchet and the doctor headed over to me. "Are you hurt?" Ratchet asked me quickly without a greeting. I rubbed my neck and answered, "Just got the wind knocked out of me, but I don't feel any pain." Suddenly a slight tingle went through my body and I realized that Ratchet had just scanned me. Looking at the information on his arm, he told me that I had only had a couple of bruises and a bump on my head. Thank the Lord that I don't have to spend another minute in that hospital room. Optimus was listening and watching intently.

As soon as Ratchet finished his task, Optimus was the first one to speak. "Sideswipe, what were you thinking?" He asked harshly. I looked up at Sideswipe, defeat in his eyes. "I wasn't thinking." Sideswipe responded with his head low. Optimus did not continue, Mirage began to criticize Sideswipe's actions. "She could have been killed! If you wouldn't--"

"Stop!!" I yelled and interrupted Mirage. Sideswipe didn't deserve to be punished or criticized, it was my fault. Every autobot looked surprised and stared at me. "It's not Sideswipe's fault. It's all mine. I'm the one who came to him and made him take me. If he wouldn't have, I would have gone by myself somehow." I looked up at Sideswipe and a small smile appeared on his face. I continued, "If I wouldn't have gone with Sideswipe, then who knows if I would still be here."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Optimus slightly cringe at my comment. "Why couldn't you wait for Sideswipe to get your stupid box in the morning?" Ironhide asked with annoyance. I turned and glared at him, "It's not stupid! It's too..." I hesitated as I thought of the real reason why I wanted to go back home. Images of Uncle Jesse's body flashed through my head. I looked down to the ground, tears teasing at the corners of my eyesight. "It's too important." I breathed. Ironhide dropped the subject, seeing my current state. "Did you get the box?" Mirage asked. "No." I confessed. "This doesn't make sense." Ironhide commented with arrogance. I seriously had enough of him and I don't think I could handle him being here right now.

"Sophia..." Optimus called. I looked up, "Can you tell us how Barricade attacked you?" I cringed as I thought of those piercing red eyes. I told them that same exact story as I told Sideswipe, leaving Uncle Jesse's death out of the picture. Optimus looked as if he was trying to make sense of the situation. "The decepticons have accumulated holoforms." Optimus confirmed as I saw his eyes adjust to the surprising revelation. "Wait, you're telling me that you didn't know?!" I questioned in utter disbelief. They ignored my question and Ratchet suggested explanation."They have been aware for quite some time that we have had holoforms. It would make sense that Shockwave has found a way to install them."

Optimus turned to me once again and continued his interrogation. "Could you pinpoint a difference in Barricade's holoform?" I remember the aurora of red around the pupils. "Their eyes. They are not red like you have blue. Only a hint of red around their pupil." After I informed Optimus, I began to think to the day when I was attacked in the alley. The man had a hint of red in his eyes too, but I didn't see his real form. "They've...they've had them for a while now." I confirmed under my breath. Sideswipe being the closest to me, heard what I had said. "What do you mean they've had them for a while?" Sideswipe asked me in confusion. "Ironhide, remember the day you and Lennox came to my house?" I asked him. "Clearly." He confirmed with confusion at what I was trying to explain. "On the way home from school, I was attacked by a tall, skinny man with a grey jacket and jeans. When I looked in his eyes, I saw the red around his pupils. He threatened that I will pay in this...this screechy and high voice."

"Starscream." Optimus said with a low and inaudible growl. But I heard the frustration and anger in his voice. "Star what?" I asked. "Starscream," Ratchet repeated, "second in command of the decepticons." 

"That would explain how Barricade managed to pinpoint our location. They knew where Sophia lived beforehand." Sideswipe suggested. "Did you use your ability on Starscream?" Optimus asked me. I shook my head, "I barely managed to fight him off, but I didn't want to expose myself." I informed Optimus.

"I think she needs to start training." Ironhide suggested with enlightenment. Training? I didn't want to train. "Why do I need to train when I could just use my ability? The decepticons already know who I am. Next time, I won't be merciful." I retaliated, trying to make my point. "She does not need training. There won't be a next time." Optimus disagreed and I felt a hint of relief. "Optimus, be reasonable." Ratchet jumped in, "The decepticons are unpredictable. What if she is in a situation around other humans and she can't use her ability? She needs to know how to fight and use brawling tactics. With and without her ability."

Optimus didn't respond, but thought about it. I really didn't want to train. It doesn't matter if it's just practice, I could easily hurt someone without wanting to. Optimus sighed, "Very well. You will begin tomorrow morning." I slumped in Sideswipe's hand defeated. Signaling to Sideswipe to let me down, he lowered me to the ground. "I'm hungry. I'm going to go eat." I told them ending the conversation with them. It seemed to be the only good reason to leave.

Heading into my apartment, I went straight to the cupboards. Grabbing a bowl, milk, and some cereal, I poured some Lucky Charms. After quickly eating, washing up, and changing, I went to lay in bed, hoping I could nap for some time. Being the restless person I am, I didn't get any shut eye and could only think of Uncle Jesse's death. I couldn't get it out of my head no matter how hard I tried. Not only am I freak, but you could count me as a murder too.  

Rolling over to my side, my face was directly in front of the picture of my dad and I. Siting up and tossing my legs over the bed, I picked up the picture frame and glided my fingertips against the glass. My dad was my everything, and I missed him terribly. He was the only person in this whole world that could help me cope with my mistakes and myself. I needed him right now more than anything.

As I stared at my dad in the photo, my heart was beating so violently, my chest was in pain and it hurt to breathe. Flashes of Uncle Jesse's body and blood raced through my mind. My hyperventilation caused me to drop the picture frame, causing the glass to shatter against the floor, deforming the image of the picture. My hands began to tremble and soon enough silent tears were rolling down my face as my emotions took over me. The lights began to flicker on and off, objects began to fall to the floor and fly across the room.

That's when I let it all go, and I sobbed and screamed. Objects flew wildly, and the doors shut simultaneously giving the apartment a shake. From my room, I could hear the plates shattering and the utensils falling to the floor in the kitchen. I dropped to my knees screaming without hesitation as loud as I could. Unable to stop myself, I fell to the ground, shaking with terror and anger, causing the inanimate objects in the room to continue to fly everywhere.

My name was called, but I wasn't able to stop myself. My emotions controlled me now and that's something I could not contain. "Sophia!" I heard from outside my apartment door. "Sophia! Open the door!" It was Optimus. I heard the keys dangling from where I was as I heard my apartment door swing open thereafter.

On the floor, helpless, afraid, and terrorized, Optimus barged into my room. "Sophia!" He yelled my name in terror as he saw me on the floor breathing shallowly and sobbing violently. "Sophia, I need you to calm down. I'm here. I'm right here." He tried to assure me, but the glass of the mirror shattered and the clinging of glass pieces on the floor was all that I could hear. Optimus' eyes were in front of mine, he cupped my face in his palms as I continued to sob and breath heavily. "There's no need to fret. I am here. You can stop now." Optimus told me. But it wasn't working and the clothes on my body were beginning to tear apart. This has never happened before and I could never say that my emotions have controlled me this much. "Can't...stop..." I tried telling Optimus in between my sobs and heavy breaths. "You can. Don't let your emotions control you." Optimus encouraged me with a concerned voice and wide eyes.

"I...killed...him." My tongue confessed without the consent of my mind and Optimus looked extremely confused. My sobs became louder and my chest took in air in agonizing pain. "Optimus...I killed...him." I cried that phrase over and over again. Optimus quickly pulled me into his arms and now the objects that were floating in the room, crashed to the ground. He held me in silence as I cried into his dark blue shirt, grabbing it with the strength I had.

The only person in this world that could stop me from myself was my dad. And now Optimus could as well. No words were being spoken, he just let me cry my heart out as he stroked my head and back comfortably, his chin resting on top of my head. To calm myself, I focused on the pace at which he was breathing. Trying to catch my breath as I concentrated on matching mine to his.

"I killed him Optimus." I managed to finally say without breaks and sobs in between. Tears feel silently down my cheeks and occasional sobs escaped my mouth. Still, I couldn't breathe properly. "It's okay Sophia. I'm here." Optimus told me while still holding me. "No! It's not okay! I killed a human being!" I yelled at Optimus looking up at him. His eyes looked startled and confused. "I killed Uncle Jesse!" I confessed to Optimus, as a sob and whimper escaped my mouth. One of Optimus' hands was placed on my cheek and he wiped away the tears that came streaming down my face. "Sophia...I believe that it was not your true intention." His baritone and calm voice tried to justify my action. I shook my head from side to side multiple times. I lifted my hand to hold his, it was still holding and resting on my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. "But it was." I cried, my chin quivering. Optimus looked at me with sorrow and something else, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I continued to speak, "I don't deserve to be here. I'm just like one of them. A decepticon. This is what they experimented on my mother for. To create monsters like me."

Optimus' face looked sorrowful as ever and angry at the same time. "You are not a monster. And you are certainly not a decepticon." He argued sternly, but calmly. I was too drained to fight back that statement. Optimus noticed my draining body language. "You need to rest." Optimus told me. My chest hurt so badly, that I was afraid to move. With no warning, Optimus picked me up and set me on the bed. "I can't rest Optimus." I softly stated in defeat. I couldn't imagine the nightmares I will be having tonight. I looked at the clock and it was four o' clock in the afternoon. "You need to try." He sighed, as I laid down on the bed drained from my own emotion. Optimus stood by the side of the bed where I laid and stared down at me. "Rest Sophia. I will be back soon to check how you are doing." He told me with a slight smile at the corner of his lips. Optimus was probably the only one who could keep me protected from myself and I couldn't bare the fact that he was leaving me alone with my own thoughts. Optimus was almost at the door, ready to leave. "Please..." I desperately pleaded as I sat up on the bed. Optimus turned around. "Don't leave."

"You want me to stay with you?" He asked me, still by the door. I nodded my head in confirmation like a scared child. I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep and if I did, I needed someone to be there when I woke up from my nightmares to keep me sane. "Very well." He responded and walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down. "Thank you Optimus." I told him as I laid on my side to face him. He turned to me as well and smiled slightly, "No need to thank me. Just rest Sophia. I'll be here when you wake." Optimus reassured me. The drainage that my emotions had caused and the lack of sleep the night before, allowed me to quickly dose off. And the fact that Optimus was here, made me fall asleep that much faster.