Night after night I've had that dream. Completely clueless on why, but it's starting to eat me from the inside out. Days for days on end I feel like a walking corpse, but something keeps me from sleeping. No matter how tired I am, something in the back of my mind triggers my eyes to stay open. It's been happening for more than a year now and I can't take it anymore.

Restlessness and insomnia are not the worse things that have taken part in my life. I couldn't believe that I let myself complain about it. If I had a choice, I'd rather have no sleep than not have my  dad in my life. At first I embraced who I became to be after I began to control myself. But then he left me. I always thought that being dangerous was the reason why he gave up on me. Abandoned me. I still remember every detail of that day he left...

It was the middle of the night when my dad opened the door to my room. He approached the bed and sat next to me where I "slept." Not once had I told him about my restlessness and reoccurring nightmare just to make sure I don't worry him more. He shook me to wake me up, thinking that I was asleep.

"Sophia," he whispered softly, "Sophia, honey wake up." I untangled my body from the sheets of the bed to face him. "Daddy?" I said in confusion, "Dad, it's 3 am in the morning. What's wrong?"

He paused and the look in his eye was something I've never seen before. His eyes always sparkled with light and always smiled at me. They had
become empty, darker than I'd ever seen. On that night, that sparkle was gone and his eyes blended in with the darkness of the night.

"Pumpkin listen. Daddy has a very important matter to attend to for his job." I carefully stared at him and listened as he continued, "I need you to listen very carefully to what I am telling you right now and I need you to remember it. Remind yourself everyday." My heart was racing and I stared at him blankly. He reached up and cupped my face, staring at me intensely. "You are my little girl and I would do anything to stay here with you, but I'll be back okay. Remember to never ever uncover your ability to anyone. It's only for your own safety." He paused. As he was about to open his mouth to continue, I interrupted, "Where are you going? Who's gonna take care of me?"

"I cannot tell you where I am going sweetheart. It's a precaution that I need to take." Emptiness filled me and my heart dropped as I realized that not once had my father left my side. "Uncle Jesse will live with you until I return." Uncle Jesse... my mom's brother. "Does Uncle Jesse know about my ability?" Dad shook his head. "No one knows except for me." My dad stared past my head and looked back into my eyes. "I'm sorry sweetheart that I have to do this, but trust in me okay?" I nodded my head unable to speak as I began to choke on my tears.

"I don't want you to leave daddy." His chest started to rise in and out with great intensity as he tried to contain his emotions. "I know pumpkin I don't want to go either. But I have no choice. It's for the best." Wrapping my arms around his torso I pulled my dad closer, not wanting to let him go. "I love you Sophia, more than words can say.  You are my world. Don't you ever forget that."

As I nuzzled myself into his chest I cried, "I love you too daddy." We sat there a little while longer, not wanting to let each other go. Even though my dad had told me he was coming back, I didn't want to face the fact that for once in my life he will not be standing next to me.

My heart broke in two as he let go of me. Holding my face, he kissed me on the cheek. "I love you Sophia. With all my heart." Not wanting him to leave I quickly wrapped my arms around him again. He kissed the hair on my head and gave me one last tight squeeze before we let each other go. "You'll come back right?" He looked at me straight in the eye with a sorrowful smile, "I will. I promise."

After giving me one last kiss on the cheek, he stood up from the bed and headed towards the door."Okay. I'll miss you" I said frowning. Giving me a look of sympathy he spoke,"I'll miss you too princess, but don't you worry."

"I'll try not to." My heart dropped again, but I tried to lighten the mood with a happy I love you."I love you daddy!" He turned around and I swear I saw a tear slide down his cheek as it glimmered in the soft brightness from my night light. "I love you too pumpkin." And with that he closed the door behind him.

That was the night we shared our last words. Our last hug. Our last kisses. Our last glance. That was the last time I had seen my father. That was when I was abandoned.