!!•Trigger Warning: Self-harm•!!
Aaron point of view
I wake up and I noticed that Aph isn't there once again. It's currently 7:28 am so I woke up seven minutes earlier than usual. This thing with Aph waking up earlier than me has been happening for a week and a half now. She loves to sleep in, like.. a lot, but she hasn't been doing that lately so I'm worried about her. Yesterday I called Katelyn and asked if she's noticed anything odd about Aph and she said no. I then told her that she has been waking up before me and she got worried too seeing as that they have been half-siblings since they were in elementary school, and roommates along with Kawaii Chan a couple years ago, and Aph never woke up early.
Aph's point of view
I wake up and it's around 7:15 to 7:20 am and Aaron wakes up at 7:35 am. I quietly get out of Aaron's protective grasp due to him having a nightmare five hours ago. I quietly walk downstairs to the kitchen and start cooking breakfast. I'm making scrambled eggs with bacon and toast for him when he wakes up. After I'm done cooking his food, I glance over at the knife block and all of a sudden these bad thoughts start going through my brain. Worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, loser, pathetic, immature, irresponsible. Over, and over, and over again. I slowly reach for the butcher knife since it is the sharpest. I don't really know if that is true so don't quote me plz I place his plate on the island with a glass of orange juice and I look at the clock and it is 7:27. I turn back to the sink where the butcher knife was and grab it, hold my arm over the sink, and place the sharp side on my wrist.
- Worthless, cut
- Pathetic, cut
- Stupid, cut
- Fat, cut
- Ugly, cut
- Loser, cut
- Immature, cut
- Irresponsible, cut
My arm is now bleeding from those 8 cuts.
Aaron point of view
I get out of bed and get dressed. But for me, 'getting dressed' will mean put jeans, socks, and my open jacket on. I walk downstairs and I see Aph at the sink, then I smell blood, her blood. I go over to her quietly and see what she is doing. I see cut her wrist the last time.
"A- Aph..." I can barely say my words straight.
"*gasp* Aaron......? I thought you were asleep.." She looks so sad and hopeless.
"I was but I woke up. Aph, please tell me what's wrong and then we can get through it together." I look in her eyes and see that she is starting to cry. I take her hands and slowly take the knife out of her hands and reach for the first aid kit.
"Aaron... I am so so sorry... I- I didn't know what came over me. I- I... felt numb... a- and..." I kiss her forehead.
"Shh, I'm right here ok... What's wrong babe? You can tell me, ok? I love you Aph." I try calming her down the easiest way and also to keep the stress levels low.
"Aaron. There are voices in my head that... that tell me all of these bad things about myself."
"What things do the voices say Aph?" She stays silent aside from her sobbing. "Aph... please... tell me." I get done with wrapping up her arms with bandages and I hold her close to me and we slowly walk over to the couch and sit down. I have her sitting in my lap leaning into my chest. Two minutes pass and she still hasn't calm down, so as a result, I start humming a song from final Fantasy online. Five minutes later I look down at her and she is sleeping. She either cried herself to sleep or I lulled her to sleep with my humming. I reach over and grab a blanket, wrap her up, gently lay down, and hold her closer to my chest. I'm not mad at her at all. I'm just.. sad that she wouldn't come to me, did she even try..?
Flashback-
"U- um Aaron? I need to talk to you." Aph said in a serious, yet scared tone of voice. I was playing a video game on the computer not really paying attention to her.
"what is it babe..?"
"Aaron... I'm not as happy as I was-.."
"Umm hold that thought.. I'm going to use the bathroom quick" I pause the game and stand up, kiss her forehead, and go upstairs to the bathroom.
"Ok I guess one morning you'll find me wit blood surrounding me then.."
Flashback end-
Oh my gosh... she tried to tell me a couple weeks ago and I completely made her feel like she couldn't talk to me. I am the worst fiancé in the world.
"Aph... I am so sorry I didn't pay attention to you a couple weeks ago... I love you so much" I am such a bad fiancé. I love her so much.
Two hours later and in Aphs pov-
I wake up to someone's arms around me and I'm on someone's chest. It is definitely Aaron by the way he's holding me. How do I tell him how I feel about myself. I know he loves me and cares about me but I just dont love myself. I don't know how to discribe it actually. At this point tears run down my face and I just snuggle into Aaron more, hoping that he doesn't wake up. But then a deep Morning voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"Aph.." Aaron says while stroking my cheek.
"Yeah Aaron...?" I look up at him.
"Aph... I am so sorry for not paying attention to you when you first tried to tell me.. I feel like I ruined your confidence to come talk to me and I didn't mean to. I am so sorry." He sounds so sad and sincere about this. At this point I wrap my arms around his waist.
"Aaron... I don't blame you. At that moment I knew you were busy with your hour of you time and I was just being a bother to you... I know you don't mind if I bother you if it's important.. but-" I get cut off with him kissing me and I kiss back immediately.
"Aph.. I understand.. you were scared that I would brush it off and that I wouldn't help you through this. I felt the same way during my year without you. I felt like since you knew that I wasn't the Aaron you knew that you wouldn't help me through accepting who I was myself. But then you were understanding and we got through it. We are strong Aph. We can do this ok. I know you can overcome this." Aaron then softly kisses my forehead. "I love you Aph."