"Hey Diary,

I am in a dilemma.

On one side, I do have estranged best friend, whom I had promised.

But on the other hand, it is me – myself.

I am stuck.

I want to LIVE my life, but at the same time, I have to know the reason – why she left her life?

And in between all this – that common PERSON – has unknowingly and unintentionally – involved himself – in this journey.

It's definitely gonna be an incomprehensible one – especially for ME.

Whatever happens at the end, at any cost – I have to be in this world and experience – this pure bliss of solitude.

Lastly, I want to tell that PERSON

as well as

I want that PERSON to tell me

– THE TRUTH and THE LOVE."

I closed my diary, kept it inside my secret bag, locked my wardrobe and unlocked the door of my room – as Shreya yelled – "Ayeshaaa...chal jaldi. Phir ready bhi hona hain yaar."

On 31st December, 8:00pm in the evening – when we all were getting ready for clubbing – Shreya informed me that – though unwillingly, but she has to go to one of her relatives to meet them – and she will directly reach the club at 9:30pm.

To add on to this, my phone rung, with the name Kabir on the screen.

The gist of the conversation was the fact that – IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE for Kabir to pick us up – from our flat – due to some emergency reason and he SPOKE THAT – he will directly meet us at the club.

Now, Shreya hugging me before closing the door – said sorry and asked me to reach the club at 9:00, to which I agreed.

After all, I have to understand my friend.

Now here I was, sitting on my bed, thinking of wearing something and how to reach the club – well in time.

The very first option was Uber/Ola which seemed to be the very last option as well.

Nevertheless – to take the advantage of the situation – I gave a small missed call to the MAN – Mr. Mantri – with whom – my friendship had grown with leaps and bounds.

I purposely declined the call in 2 rings, and started thinking about him and me – as 2 known-to-each-other persons, although it was never restricted to known-to-each-other limits.

I blushed at this thought –

**************************************************************************************

In the very first month, I got to know about ABHI as a person – his address, his car, his mom, his sister and his sincerity.

Later on, we went together for some outings and parties, with our office group.

Though, he was never a part of all of them, still whenever he joined – he was usually in a semi-hibernation zone –

· Dancing a little – he danced well though – not better than me – of course,

· Drinking – nearly 1% - that too cocktails,

· Movies – both of us are huge BOLLYWOOD fans and I love this fact,

· Chatting and conversation – Yes, from medium-to-high level,

· His attitude and way of working – LIT AF

· The way he cared and thought about every single person in the office – AMAZING

· The way – he does not reciprocate much – to the girls in the office – IT'S GOOD BECAUSE – (I am possessive baba)

· As far as his Ms. Thakur is concerned – he has a soft corner for me – I guess – but he never expresses or shows this.

· Lastly, as far as I am concerned – YES, HE HAS BECOME MY INFATUATION (but I do not fly like bees around him, to be frank – at some point of time, I try to express – and he adores this).

· IN PRESENT, WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS, THAT'S IT.

· The most important fact – in spite of all his habits and personality, I always have intuitions that he might have a dark past.

Also, I always wondered about him – that how can he be so stern/ethical specifically towards the females – on a very positive note.

NOW, on the other hand –

Just as – we have Ayesha for Abhimanyu –

Similarly – we have Kabir for Ayesha –

· I am 100% sure that Kabir is definitely going to propose me, because he has started liking me –

Right from getting the one-month workforce anniversary cake to picking and dropping us home ("us" includes me and Shreya, since both of us stay together).

· And, if truth be told, he definitely makes me feel special.

· Sometimes he might be too cheesy, at the same time – I know that he is trying to be cheesy, only to attract me.

· I and Abhimanyu, might be opposites in some or the other way –

On the contrary - I and Kabir are definitely similar in many of our hobbies and selections.

· At this point, I accept that I might be a little wrong and incorrect, because I feel that from my actions, Kabir is actually believing that I am reciprocating his feelings and have started liking him.

· And yes, I am confused between these two boys – taking into consideration – my wildest dream –

What if someday, Kabir proposes me and I am looking for Abhimanyu?

To add on to this, what if Abhimanyu does not reply but on his thought – I decline Kabir's proposal.

And lastly, I regret this decision.

My capricious confessions have no bounds.

*********************************************************************************

My timer rung - as I had just forgotten to remove the snacks from the oven – and reaching the oven – I could definitely see my high-tea cum evening snacks – burnt.

Frustrated, I went back to my room and clutching the phone in my hand – I could see the missed call of Mr. Mantri – 7 minutes ago.

I was so engrossed in his thoughts that I did not even answer his phone.

I called him back, leading to him picking up my phone – in one single second.

"Hello" in his ever manly voice.

"Hi Abhi" I greeted.

"Hey Ayesha, call kiya tha?" if it was Kabir on the phone, he would have asked 5 different questions – how am I, what am I doing, what plans for tonight etc etc.

On the other hand, this man, just jumps to the conclusion, decreasing my expectations.

"Hey Ayesha, tum ho phone pe?" he again inquired, since I was engrossed in my own thoughts, for a second.

"Pehle mujhe bata – ki tu mujhe – humesha TUM – TUM kehkar kyu bulata hain? Why not TU?" I probed.

"Ahhh...aise hi...TUM feels nice." His simple reply.

"Acha Ji...phir toh mujhe bhi ab – AAP se bulana padega – AAPKO" I stressed on the word AAP.

"Oh Wow! That's nice" he chuckled, as I could hear him laughing.

"Haha...very funny...don't raise your expectations Mr. Mantri" I confidently spoke and continued,

"There's still a long way to go for this." He stopped laughing after hearing this.

"Look who's talking about EXPECTATIONS." He teased me, but I turned a bit serious.

"Matlab...?" I catechized.

"Acha chod kuch nahi...pehle yeh bata tumne phone kyu kiya tha?" he tried to change the topic.

"We will definitely talk about this topic later." I was definitely stern this time, paying attention to his words.

"Actually, right now, is it possible for you to pick me up for the club?" I wished.

"Ahh...yeah sure. Where's Kabir by the way?" he again asked something, which irritated me, a little.

"I don't know – aur tu mujhe yeh sab kyu puch raha hain?" an irritated noise.

"Arre...

I am sorry if you felt bad.

Actually Kabir told me- that he was going to pick you guys – isliye I asked." He responded.

"He has some emergency – so he is directly coming to the club" I spoke.

"Ohkay! I will be there by 8:45pm, chalega?" – Abhimanyu.

"Thank you so much and see you. Bye" I declined the call.

For the first time, I was annoyed with his talks and especially his thoughts about me. I had this in my mind – that today I will clear these things up, so I got ready, well in time.

At 8:46pm, I received his call saying that he is waiting downstairs. I walked down – to find him – standing outside the car – in his all-black elegant dress – without any jacket this time.

To be frank, I actually thought of greeting him with a hug, but was not sure – so I kept it to a normal handshake.

We shook hands as he appraised – you are looking beautiful in this red dress.

"Seriously...?" I teased.

"Haan Thakur Ji!" he replied.

"Where is Shreya?" he asked.

"Hmm...tujhe nahi pata" I purposely spoke this, mocking him.

"Nahi pata...isliye toh puch raha hoon" he spoke.

"She will come directly to the party – abhi usko koi relatives ke yahan - jaana tha" I explained.

We drove as he informed me that we might require a total of 30 to 40 minutes to reach the club, due to traffic and the New Year's night at Mumbai.

After 3 minutes of Bollywood songs on his phone – connected to the car via Bluetooth – he suddenly asked –

"Ahh...Ayesha..."

I looked at him.

"Are you hungry?" with a cute smile on his face.

"Because mujhe bohat bhook lagi hain and dinner ko waise bhi bohat late hoga – at the club and restaurant." He continued.

"Haan yaar bhook toh mujhe bhi lagi hain!" with a small grin.

"Aur sach bolu toh – aaj maine apna sandwich – oven mein jala diya!" I laughed at myself.

"Oho...agar sandwich oven mein tha – toh tumhara DHYAN kahan tha?" he focused on the word – dhyan.

"Dhyan toh kisi aur insaan pe tha – joh phone pe annoy kar raha tha mujhe" I grinned.

"Oh acha...phir toh sorry bolne ke liye – ek treat deni padegi aapko!" this was authentic.

"If you want to give, your wish–

I caaaaaaan adjust with a treat" he laughed, as I spoke.

He stopped the car – in front of a crowded McD and asked me my choice – since it was rush inside – so he allowed me to wait in the car itself.

But I did not feel this right – so I myself got down – and we both entered the shop together.

It was indeed full as there was a big queue inside and the valet orders were closed for tonight.

We ordered 2 different burgers and one peri-peri – and later decided to have it in the car itself.

In 15 minutes, when the clock struck 9:05pm, we were in the car – both hungry – munching our burgers.

"Abhi...sun na...I have a question" I gave a stern look – in the bright colored light of his car.

"Haan bolo..." he looked at me.

"Dekh, I will be frank and straight-forward!" I glared at him as he turned towards me.

"I have some questions which I want to ask you – and it is not compulsory for you - to give me the answers – but I just expect one thing from you." he had the same expression on his face, and taking some fries in his hand – he nodded.

"I don't want you to get annoyed or something...." I was about to say something, before which – he himself spoke –

"I promise Ayesha, I will not get annoyed."

That was too funny yet I controlled my laughter.

"Toh main puchu...Mr. Mantri?"

"Go for it!" he simply answered.

"But before you continue, I want to ask you one question?" Abhi suddenly solicited.

"Dekh...I might be frank or straight-forward..." he repeated my exact words," But as a concerned friend of you and Kabira – I simply want to ask you a question –"

This time it was me who nodded, because I had no other option.

"Do you like Kabir Chuadhary?" I did not have an answer to this question, to add on to this – I did not want Kabir to know anything about this, and suddenly he spoke something magical –

"Ayesha...I promise – I will not tell anything about this to Kabira – but it's just that he is my best friend, so I want to know this." He read my heart.

"Abhi...thank you very much for this!"

"And coming to your question –

I DON'T KNOW Abhi I DON'T KNOW

Sach bolu toh – I am actually confused." I spoke this – to my utter disappointment.

Before he continued, I changed the topic, because I did not want myself to get sabotaged, in such a situation –

"Abhi...before you continue – I do have a question for you and I want you to answer this first."

He had started the car by that time, since we were getting late and with the first sound of the key-less engine, he looked at me, asking me to continue, with the question.

I started," Abhi...I just wanted to ask ki..."

TO BE CONTINUED.