Serious Trigger warning. Details of self harm, I will put a trigger warning right before it happens and when it ends. This is one of the time though that I know a trigger warning is needed. There are a few areas. Also mentions of suicide.

Gilbert and Alfred walked back into the living room area. "So, um, Lukas and Matthias aren't coming back for the rest of the night, because of... personal reasons." Alfred said. Gilbert laughed and muttered something along the lines of, "Oh yeah. Real personal." Which made Alfred hit him in the back of the head while also laughing.

Some of the younger nations were confused, while the ones with perverted minds just kinda died from laughing. Ludwig was yelling and trying to calm everyone down, but that was kinda failing. As the laughter died down, the room flashed, and a note appeared, along with some new people

We have figured out that more countries are in pain, so we decided to bring them along. They have been filled in on what's happening, and the entries that have already been read. Also, some sleeping arrangements have been changed

~The Ancients

Everyone looked over at the new countries, to see, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Kugelmugel, South Korea, Taiwan, and Vietnam. You could almost taste the sighs that came out of some of the nations at the sight of some of the people, thinking that they would be able to get away form them *cough cough China towards South Korea cough*.

"Well I suppose if the rooming arrangements have changed then we should go figure out just how much they have." Ludwig said, and everyone agreed. So here are the new rooming assignments:

England (Arthur) and France (Francis)

America (Alfred) and Japan (Kiku)

Russia (Ivan) and China (Yao)

Germany (Ludwig) and Italy (Feliciano)

Spain (Antonio) and Romano (Lovino)

Lithuania (Toris) and Poland (Feliks)

Denmark (Matthias) and Norway (Lukas)

Sweden (Berwald) and Finland (Tino)

Iceland (Emil) and Hong Kong (Leon)

Austria (Roderich) and Switzerland (Vash)

Prussia (Gilbert) and Canada (Matthew)

Hungary (Elizabeta) and Romania (Vladimir)

Greece (Heracles) and Turkey (Sadik)

Lichtenstein (Lilli) and Latvia (Raivis)

Ukraine (Katyusha) and Estonia (Eduard)

Seborga (Romeo) and Molossia (Anthony)

Seychelles (Véronique) and Belgium (Bella)

Vietnam (Lien) and Taiwan (Mei)

Monaco (Gianna) and Luxembourg (Louis)

Netherlands (Tim) and Belarus (Natalya)

Australia (Jett) and New Zealand (Toby)

Kugelmugel (Hugo) and South Korea (Young Soo) (I am not shipping these two, I just have no other people to ship them with, please comment your suggestions so they are not together.)

Sealand (Peter) and Wy (Wendy)

So a only one person had to switch rooms, poor Gianna, but she was completely fine with it. A few people, being Matthias and Lukas' neighbors, heard some, sounds, from their room. Toris and Feliks quickly left their room for the time being.

They decided that they should have dinner, as none of them really felt like starving, the weaklings. They decided that the three Italians should cook. Romeo and Lovino were initially surprised that they had been asked along with Feliciano, but quickly got over the shock and helped to make, can you guess, some pasta. Wow such a shocker, never saw that coming.

The three were working well together for a while, but eventually, it was bound to happen, the fighting started.

(I'm using translate, so if it's wrong, please correct me. Translations are in the A/N)

"Guarda idiota che stai versando la salsa ovunque." Lovino said, fairly harshly, to Romeo.

"Fratello, sta facendo del suo meglio, non urlare contro di lui. Romeo Penso che tu stia andando alla grande." Feliciano said, trying to keep the atmosphere happy.

"Che ne dici di starne fuori bastardo. Comunque devi smettere di cercare di essere così dannatamente spaventoso, sappiamo entrambi che il tuo nome era in quella lista sulla cosa del suicidio. Quindi ti sarei grato se chiudessi il cazzo." Lovino said, practically yelling at this point.

"Come il tuo a parlare. Almeno posso parlare con persone con cui ho una cotta, signor posso solo maledire il ragazzo che mi piace perché ho troppa paura che se avessi una conversazione normale gli avrei detto per caso che mi sono innamorato lui." Feliciano said, mathcing his brother's tone.

Pretty much all the nations could hear them at this point, but one angry Italian was bad, but two was worse. especially when one of the angry Italian was one of the nicest people that any of the countries knew.

"Che ne dici di calmarci tutti?" Romeo said, trying to keep the peace.

"STAI FUORI!" The two eldest Italians yelled, too far into the fight. Romeo did as advised.

"E se potessi tenere una conversazione con la Germania, e non posso fare una merda con la Spagna. Almeno non sono un fottuto tappeto perché la gente mi cammina così tanto addosso." Lovino said, slowly growing more and more red.

"Almeno sono stato innamorato." Feliciano said, he was also getting pretty red.

"La persona che amavi scopare è morta, e anche se è quel bastardo di patate, non si ricorda nemmeno che ti piaccia. Quindi superalo." Romano yelled, realizing his mistake a second too late. Feliciano stood there stunned that his brother would bring up the one subject that he so carefully avoided. Memories of that blond boy started flooding Feliciano's memories, much like the tears now flooding his eyes. Lovino took a step toward his brother, Feliciano took a step back. The tears were free falling now.

Feliciano took a shuddering best and did what he seemed to be the best at. He ran.

"Hai fatto un casino." Romeo said as he watched with sad eyes as his brother ran from the room.

"Niente merda." Lovino deadpanned at the youngest Italian. Romeo left the room, supposedly to try to cheer up Felicaino, but Lovino didn't care. He had just fucked up big time. He didn't realize, but as the argument got more and more heated, Romeo had finished the pasta. He walked out to tell everyone that the food was done, then walked back to his and Antonio's room.

Trigger warning starts here

Once he closed the door and locked it, his knees gave out under him, and he started sobbing. He got himself together slightly, and stood up, he made his way to the bathroom and got a razor. He carefully dragged it along his wrists. He knew he shouldn't have done it, Antonio had caught him cutting once before, and made him promise that if he ever felt like he needed to do that again, that he should go and talk to him.

That's what he should have been doing, but instead he was in a bathroom, doing what he promised to not do. So much for promises, he thought as he remembered what he had promised to his grandfather, just as Lovino learned that he was disappearing. He had promised that he would never hurt his little brother. His grandfather was probably watching him right now, but he couldn't find himself able to care. All he cared about was the razor he was dragging down his skin.

It started getting harder to hold the razor, but he kept going, unable to stop himself. He kept dragging the razor along his wrist until the door burst open.

Trigger warning over

-_-_-

Antonio stayed behind as everyone else went to go get food. He wasn't sure why, but he did. After a minute of just sitting there, he decided he would go get food. As he got up, there was a flash of light, and a note appeared.

Antonio,

Get to your room quickly. Go before Lovino hurts himself more.

~Ancient Rome

He didn't even finish the note completely before he was sprinting through the hallways. He got to his room and heard the sobs before he even opened the door. He tried the handle but it was very, very, locked. He started to panic before he sprinted back to Francis, and took two bobby pins, not saying a word. He ran back to the door and picked the lock. He listened to where the sobs were coming from. The bathroom. He almost broke the door off its hinges he used so much force to open it.

Another trigger warning

On the ground he saw a shaky Lovino, a razor blade in hand. He immediately got down on the ground a took the razor from Lovino's hands. He started to look for a first aid kit, but realized that there was already too much blood. So he took his shirt off and ripped it up into long stripes so form bandages. He carefully wrapped the new cuts on the Italians wrists.

Trigger warning over

Once he was done he looked up to see Lovino looking anywhere but at him. He pulled the angry man into a hug, and Lovino broke down completely. He was wailing at this point. Antonio just held him tight.

"Lo siento mucho. Por favor no me odies." Lovino said. The fact that he was saying it in Spanish only broke Antonio's heart more, as the Italian only ever spoke in Spanish when he was very upset.

"Lovi, ¿cómo podría odiarte? Está bien, lo prometo. No tiene nada de qué preocuparse, porque estoy aquí y no voy a ninguna parte." Antonio said, trying to calm Lovino down. He hated to admit it, but just hearing Antonio's voice was working.

"¿Por qué no me odias? Todos los demás lo hacen." Lovino said quietly, his cries down to sniffles now. Antonio picked him up, carried him to the bed, and set him down gently.

"Nadie te odia, Lovi." Antonio said, getting in the bed with Lovino.

"Feliciano definitivamente lo hace ahora. ¿Por qué soy tan mal hermano? ¿Por qué no puedo cumplir una promesa? ¿Es algo que hice??" Lovino said, his sniffling almost dying down.

Antonio sighed and asked what happened. Lovino paused before telling him, he told the story in a mix between Spanish, English, and Italian. He was occasionally asked to repeat when his sniffles got in the way. By the end he was almost asleep.

"Grazie per non avermi lasciato. Ti amo" Lovino said in his sleepy voice, Antonio was slightly shocked, though he knew the grumpy Italian most definitely didn't mean to say it, he had. Antonio just wished he actually meant it.

"De nada. Yo también te quiero." Antonio said. He kissed his forehead and drifted off to sleep.

-_-_-

Feliciano ran out of the room crying. His brother had just brought up the one thing he tried to never remember. The fact that the only person he ever truly loved had died. He wanted to go into his room and just sob. Sob because of all the times he wanted to not be dumb, because of all the times he wanted to break down crying but he couldn't. Sob because the one person who he never thought would hurt him that much, just had.

Trigger warning

He ran into his and Ludwig's room, not bothering to lock the door. He walked straight to the bathroom. He got out a razor and started cutting. He wasn't steady at the start, but he just got more and more shaky until he couldn't hold the razor anymore. He sat there in his blood, right before he passed out his thoughts were of a blond man reaching out towards him.

Trigger warning over

-_-_-

Ludwig was just sitting in the living room, he could still hear the Italians fighting, but it was quieter. It went quit all of a sudden, but he found he had too much of a head ache to really care. Though he was wondering what could have riled Feliciano up so bad that he started a screaming match with his brother.

He was about to go get some food when a flash appeared and a note dropped down. It was simple and blunt. And very alarming.

Ludwig,

Feliciano. Your room. Go now.

~Ancient Rome

It was times like that when he thanked himself for running so many laps during training, as he now could easily sprint at a speed he didn't even know he could reach. He slammed open the door and saw Feliciano on the ground, covered in blood, and about to pass out, so he reached out to pick him up.

...to be continued.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading the ninth chapter of A World of Secrets. This one was very angsty, I know. I wanna give a shout out to MagicNature321 for saying things about an addiction to America angst, I know its not America, but its angst. And I just wanna say that, holy shit does angst get me writing. The story part alone was 1914 words without the trigger warnings. Also, how the hell is this book almost at 500 reads, like WHAT? I mean thank you guys for all the support. Also I wanna say to all my Catholics out there, Happy Lent, I meant to say it Thursday but I completely forgot.

Translations:

Italian

Guarda idiota che stai versando la salsa ovunque

Look idiot that you're pouring sauce everywhere

Fratello, sta facendo del suo meglio, non urlare contro di lui. Romeo Penso che tu stia andando alla grande

Brother, he is trying his best, don't yell at him. Romeo I think you're doing great

Che ne dici di starne fuori bastardo. Comunque devi smettere di cercare di essere così dannatamente spaventoso, sappiamo entrambi che il tuo nome era in quella lista sulla cosa del suicidio. Quindi ti sarei grato se chiudessi il cazzo.

How about you stay out of it bastard. Anyway you need to stop trying to be so damn cheary, we both know your name was on that list about the suicide thing. So I'd appreciate it if you'd shut the fuck up

Come il tuo a parlare. Almeno posso parlare con persone con cui ho una cotta, signor posso solo maledire il ragazzo che mi piace perché ho troppa paura che se avessi una conversazione normale gli avrei detto per caso che mi sono innamorato lui

Like your one to talk. At least I can talk to people I have a crush on, Mr. I can only cuss out the guy I like because I'm too afraid that if I hold a normal conversation I'd accidentally tell him that I'm in love with him.

Che ne dici di calmarci tutti?

How about we all just calm down?

STAI FUORI!

STAY OUT OF IT!

E se potessi tenere una conversazione con la Germania, e non posso fare una merda con la Spagna. Almeno non sono un fottuto tappeto perché la gente mi cammina così tanto addosso.

So what if you can hold a conversation with Germany, and I can't do that worth shit with Spain. At least I'm not a fucking carpet because people walk all over me so much.

Almeno sono stato innamorato.

At least I've been in love.

La persona che amavi scopare è morta, e anche se è quel bastardo di patate, non si ricorda nemmeno che ti piaccia. Quindi superalo.

The person you loved fucking died, and even if he is that potato bastard, he doesn't even remember you like that. So get over it.

Hai fatto un casino.

You fucked up

Niente merda.

No shit

Spanish

Lo siento mucho. Por favor no me odies.

I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me.

¿Cómo podría odiarte? Está bien, lo prometo. No tiene nada de qué preocuparse, porque estoy aquí y no voy a ninguna parte.

How could I hate you? It's ok, I promise. You have nothing to worry about, because I am right here, and I'm not going anywhere.

¿Por qué no me odias? Todos los demás lo hacen.

Why wouldn't you hate me. Everyone else does.

Nadie te odia, Lovi.

No one hates you, Lovi

Feliciano definitivamente lo hace ahora. ¿Por qué soy tan mal hermano? ¿Por qué no puedo cumplir una promesa? ¿Es algo que hice?

Feliciano definitely does now. Why am I such a bad brother? Why can't I keep a promise? Is it something I did?

Italian

Grazie per non avermi lasciato. Ti amo.

Thank you for not leaving me. I love you.