1. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase are not allowed on the same capture the flag team

2. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase are not allowed on separate capture the flag teams

3. Go to sleep before 1 am

4. FUCK YOU SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

5. PERCY NO

6. Weapons are called weapons for a reason

7. The next time the Stolls are arrested, they will not be bailed out

8. No throwing empty coke bottles at gods (yes this is directed at Percy)

9. No throwing bricks at Jason Grace

10. Singing Amazing Grace around either Grace is a stupid idea, and should not be acted on

11. AMAAAAZING GRAAAAACE

12. Leo, I'm going to fucking kill you

13. Putting Mrs O'Leary in the pound IS NOT FUNNY

14. IF YOU HURT MRS O'LEARY

15. Thank you, Percy.

16. Percy Jacksons plans are not to be trusted. Trust Annabeth

17. If Annabeth jumps off a bridge, you should too

18. If Leo Valdez has not left bunker 9 in at least a day, please tell Calypso and flood it

19. Do not flood bunker 9 if you do not wish to die a horrible death

20. Do not sit on the roof of your cabin and curse out the gods *cough cough everybody*

21. You cannot declare a quest to find Apollo's golden Cows

22. Quests must be issued by prophecy, from now on

23. Do not barge into Rachels cave and tell her to give her a prophecy for your quest

24. No more petitions

25. No sneaking onto quests *cough, cough, Percy*

26. Saying doing chores is against your religion is not a valid argument

27. Going to Olympus to punch the gods in the face is not a valid reason to go on a quest

28. Saying the titans are attacking, when they are not, is not allowed

29. Stop stealing the minotaur horn, duck taping it onto your head, and screaming that you are a unicorn

30. Telling Percy that Mrs O'Leary was put in the pound is not funny

31. Calling Maimer, Lamer, is perfectly fine and should be encouraged

32. TRY IT, YA PUNKS

33. Do not climb the climbing wall specifically to see if the lava can kill you

34. Staring at couples while they do coupley things is not allowed

35. Saying that Achillies is a good role model, just because he was gay, is not advised

36. Don't pull an Orpheus

37. Be more like Odysseus

38. None of the Ancient Heroes are good role models, and should not be treated as such

39. Do not antagonize Nico Di Angelo to get him to reopen a hole in the ground

40. You cannot hide anywhere to see our favourite ship become cannon

41. Singing the 'Lalala' from Hadestown over and over will result in stable duty

42. Singing the 'Lalala' from Hadestown will not make random flowers grow

43. Unless you are a child of Demeter and have made them grow as you sing it

44. You cannot make a cult dedicated to the cast of Hadestown's voice

45. Creating a demigod version of the musical Six is not a good idea at three am, do it in the afternoon

46. For the love of the gods no boogie boarding

47. Trying to beat Percy Jackson in water-related sports is stupid, and ill-advised

48. Percy Jackson is not allowed to participate in any water-related sports that may happen

49. Rapping Guns and Ships at three am is bound to get you killed

50. Do not interrupt Annabeth Chase when she is reading

51. Do not interrupt Annabeth Chase when she is thinking

52. Do not interrupt Annabeth Chase when she is doing literally anything

53. Screaming 'SPIDER' around the children of Athena is not okay

54. Annabeth Chase is smarter than you. Accept it. It's not going to change

55. Mentioning the Hoover Dam around Percy, Thalia, or Grover will leave you confused

56. Do not comment on anything to do with Annabeth Chase. Do not. Just do not.

57. If you insult Annabeth Chase she will not care but Percy Jackson will be killing you

58. Nothing good happens after two am. When it's after two am, don't go on a quest. Go the fuck to sleep.

59. Sleep is for the weak

60. Don't listen to the Stolls

61. Singing burn when your s/o cheats on you is fine, but the Aphrodite cabin will be checking in on you

62. Do not mention the movie adaptation of Cats to Dionysus, Apollo, or their children

63. Stop using your powers on mortals

64. Stop trying to convince Drew and Piper to charm speak the cars salesman into giving you a free Bugatti

65. If you cheat on your s/o the Aphrodite cabin and multiple other cabins will be stabbing you. Good luck.

66. If your class goes on a field trip to the Empire State Building, I recommend making and excuse as to why you cannot go

67. Trying to win in a drinking contest against the children of Dionysus is very stupid

68. Do not drink you are underage

69. DRINK WHENEVER THE HELL YOU WANT

70. Do not bet your mortal friend that there is a 600th floor of the Empire State building just to annoy the receptionist

71. Always tie your shoes

72. And lock your doors

73. And eat

74. And drink water

75. Self Care is important

76. Thanks to Nico and Will, two people of the same gender are no longer allowed in a cabin alone

77. Do not challenge the Annabeth Chase to design a building

78. Do not climb a tree for the sole purpose of jumping down to scare other campers

79. You can leave your s/o for five minutes they will not die *cough cough Will and Nico*

80. Throwing a couple into a lake is no longer an okay thing to do

81. Percy and Annabeth's cat, Pickles, is blind, and therefore should not be put on the roof of any cabins

82. Pickles is a perfectly acceptable name for a cat and if you deny it you will be getting stabbed by Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase

83. Saying you were teaching Pickles to fly is not funny

84. Pickles is the only goddess you should worship

85. Pickles is not a goddess

86. Please do not raise the dead for the sole purpose of getting a bag of Cheetos

87. Changing the inscription on the Poseidon statue to "Broseidon, the god of the Brochean" is not allowed

88. Putting red solo cups on the trident of said statue, and a backwards ballcap on the head is not allowed

90. Changing the inscription on the Zeus statue to "Jerkface, the god of all jerks" is not allowed

91. Spray painting "Home of Katniss Everdeen and Clint Barton" On the Apollo cabin is not allowed

92. Camp Half-Blood is not a good place to hide bodies

93. They're found hella quickly

94. Hella isn't a word

95. Wanna go?

96. Do not for the love of the gods play Scrabble against the children of Athena

97. Do not for the love of the gods play Scrabble against Percy Jackson

98. He likes to make up words, you see

99. Scrabble is officially banned from Camp Half-Blood

100. As is Monopoly, Twister, and Clue

101. Do not let Leo and Percy get into a water vs fire duel

102. Do not antagonize Jason Grace to the point where he starts a hurricane

103. This isn't New Jersey, where everything was legal in 1804

104. Including murdering Alexander Hamilton

105. Fuck Aaron Burr

106. NO

107. Cursing is no longer allowed at Camp Half-Blood

108. Fuck all these rules

109. Fuck you

110. FUCK

111. Singing any songs from a musical at three AM is very annoying and might get you murdered

112. Everything gets you murdered here

113. Including breathing

114. Scaring new campers by saying "Everything gets you murdered here, including breathing" is not funny

115. New Petition: Hestia should be the Queen of the Gods

116. Petitions still aren't allowed

117. You have enough signatures calm down

118. Do not dare the new campers to antagonize Percy or Annabeth

119. Get to your activities on time, especially if you happen to be the teacher

120. Fighting monsters is not an acceptable reason to miss school according to the school board, get more creative with your lies

121. Saying that you did not blow up the school, and blaming it on John, who doesn't even exist, is not a good lie

122. Percy Jackson is not allowed within fifteen feet of a bow, for the safety of everyone at camp

123. Yes we know he shot that one dude in all his three hearts, that was one time and it never happened again

124. Calling Percy Jackson the Supreme Lord of the bathroom is perfectly acceptable and is encouraged is not okay

125. Saying you are invincible unless you have the curse of Achilles, is not advised

126. None of the characters from Monty Python and the Holy Grail are good role models

127. Tarot cards are not good prediction tools, go to Rachel for that

128. She uses special Tarot cards that are actually accurate

129. Rachel Dare does not own Tarot cards, and you should not ask her about it

130. Do not let a spider into the Athena cabin at three am you will be dying a horrible death

131. Yelling "THE FLOOR IS LAVA" at the top of your lungs will not get a reaction from any campers

132. Do not react when any of the stolls yell "THE FLOOR IS LAVA" at the top of their lungs

133. Yelling "THE FLOOR IS LAVA" at the top of your lungs is not allowed

134. Yelling "THE FLOOR IS SPIDERS" at the top of your lungs is not allowed or even funny

135. Yelling "THE FLOOR IS ____" at the top of your lungs is not allowed

136. If you are not dying, do not yell

137. FUCK THAT

138. NO

139. Being Homophobic, Transphobic, Abelist, Racist, Sexist etc. = stable duty for the rest of your short life

140. Being arachnophobic is okay though

141. FUCK SPIDERS

142. VIVA LA REVOLUTION

143. Pluto is a planet

144. No its not

145. VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

146. Crying over Kaz Brekker is fine

147. As is crying when he and Inej hold hands

148. Six of Crows is to be worshipped every Friday at 7:00 pm

149. KAZ BREKKER IS NOT A ROLE MODEL, GODS DAMMIT

150. Why would you even think he's a good role model

151. Throwing a book at anyone who does not ship your ship is perfectly acceptable and encouraged is not the correct response murder is far more effective

152. Burning the Miss Peregrines Movie is perfectly fine

153. As is calling them hot garbage

154. Strip poker is not allowed

155. Strip Happy Days game is not allowed

156. Poker is not allowed

157. Gambling is not allowed

158. If you do not want to do your chores, dragging your s/o and taking a cab to Atlantic city will not get you out of it

159. Screaming "I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY" without a deep voice sounds weird, and you need to stop

160. Kidnapping, or at least planning to kidnap, Lin Manuel-Miranda is what we like to call ILLEGAL

161. LAWS SUCK, FUCK LAWS

162. NO

163. Please don't try to sing Hades' parts in Hadestown is not a good idea it will damage your voice and creep our everyone around you

164. Stan Patrick Page

165. And Reeve Carney

166. And Eva Noblezada

167. And Amber Gray

168. And- Well I think you get the point

169. Always brush your teeth

170. Making people sing "Why We Build the Wall" is weird

171. You cannot trick people into going to Hadestown it does not work like that

172. Persephone is a good role model

173. Musicals are songs not a way to live

174. Being seventeen isn't as cool as it sounds in musicals

175. Especially when you turn 17 in hell

176. Thank you, Annabeth

177. Yes we know you don't like the theatre kids, they don't like the theatre kids either

178. Tik Tokers who misuse Musical Theatre songs should be burnt at the stake

179. WHY DID YOU CROSS IT OUT, THEY SHOULD

180. TikTokers who misuse Musical Theatre songs will be having their accounts deleted

181. Doing a TikTok cult is okay as long as it doesn't cause any deaths

182. Renegading a fellow camper to death is acceptable as long as you have a valid reason

183. Playing volleyball badly is not a valid reason to renegade a fellow camper to death

184. Stealing your Cheeto is not a valid reason to renegade a camper to death

185. Renegading a camper to death is no longer allowed

186. Memes are glorious, but you cannot use needing to scroll through some as a valid reason to not do your chores

187. Candy Store is not to be sung in front of children

188. Dead Girl Walking is not to be sung in front of children

189. Heathers the musical is not to be sung in front of children

190. Building a time machine, because you want to rescue the six wives of Henry the Eighth, is weird, and while well-intentioned, not allowed.

191. Police boxes aren't a thing anymore, stop trying to find the TARDIS

192. Phone boxes do not work anymore, get the fuck out of it

193. Misusing All You Wanna Do is wrong on so many levels

194. YEAH

195. We are a gang

196. You cannot leave gangs

197. Welcome

198. Camp Half-Blood is no longer allowed to be referred to as a gang to new campers

199. But Camp Jupiter is

200. Camp Half-Blood is no longer allowed to be referred to as a gang

201. Camp Jupiter is not to be called a gang to new campers and in general

202. If you find Thalia and Reyna making out, walk away and do not run around screaming "THE SHIP IS CANNON, THE SHIP IS CANNON" no matter how much you want to

203. Trying to feed Pickles, pickles is unhealthy and technically cannibalism

204. "FUCK THE PATRIARCHY" is a perfectly acceptable war cry

205. As is "FUCK THE POLICE"

206. Murdering all men is not a good way to end the patriarchy

207. Burning down everything is

208. Burning down all police stations is only okay depending on the circumstances

209. Running around camp screaming "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" at the top of your lungs is not allowed

210. All of these rules don't matter as rules are made to be broken

211. RULES ARE NOT MADE TO BE BROKEN THAT'S NOT HOW RULES WORK

212. Many things are made to be broken

213. Oh really, give me an example

214. Glow sticks

215. Piñatas

216. Karate boards

217. Pasta when you have a small pot

218. My mind

219. CHRIS NO

220. Rules

221. Do your homework

222. Don't do drugs kids

223. And stay in school

224. If you need any help or advice, my hearth is always open

225. FUCK YEAH, STAN HESTIA

226. No cursing Percy

227. Yes ma'am

228. Some weirdo says something or does something to you? Get to camp and tell Chiron or someone you trust, they'll help you

229. Always tell someone when someones did or said something that made you uncomfortable

230. Sexual harassment or anything of the sort will not be tolerated in any way

231. And will lead to death

232. NO

233. If you do not respect people's pronouns you will be terminated

234. All sexualities and gender identities are valid, and if you say otherwise you will be terminated

235. Sexualizing lesbians and wlw is not acceptable in any way and will lead to termination

236. Screaming "VIVA LA REVOLUTION" and running around with a weapon is not acceptable

237. Screaming "FUCK THE RULES" and running around with a weapon is not acceptable

238. Screaming anything and running around with a weapon is not acceptable

239. Licking Nico di Angelo and saying "I tasted the rainbow" is a hilarious idea not acceptable and a little gross

240. Seeing a heterosexual couple and commenting "ew straight people" is really just stating facts is not acceptable and a little rude

241. The actors of the Percy Jackson movies did nothing wrong, they were just doing their job. If you want to attack anyone, attack the screenwriters they committed the real crimes

242. The same goes for the Miss Peregrine's movies

243. That was sarcasm stop attacking screenwriters

244. NO FUCK YOU

245. The point of Six the musical is female empowerment, an all male cast is a stupid fucking idea shut up

246. (Unless their in drag, then go ahead)

247. Burning a laptop because it used Comic Sans as a font is not acceptable

248. BUT COMIC SANS IS THE DEVIL FONT

249. AND YOU'RE THE DEVIL CHILD

250. NO STOP

251. Comic Sans is not an acceptable font to be used at Camp-Half Blood

252. THANK YOU

253. Grammar is important, give it some effort please

254. NO YOUR WRONG

255. **you're

256. FUCK YOU ANNABETH

257. Telling a camper 'go kill yourself' or anything even remotely related to suicide and/or self-harm is harmfull and not acceptable in any way

258. Making fun of mental illness or using them as an insult or saying you have them when you don't is harmful and not acceptable in any way prepare for death

259. There will be no being a heterosexual

260. Uhhhhhh

261. Hey I don't make the rules

262. ...

263. Hey did you know I'm gay

264. No shIT SHERLOCK

265. Stop wearing sweatshirts when it's over 85 degrees out

266. For the love of the gods respect people's privacy and if you don't that's not only rude but you will be executed punished

267. The Camp Directors have feelings and do not appreciate your pranks

268. Stop playing Riptide for thE LOVE OF THE GODS

269. THANK YOU PERCY

270. If Annabeth tells you no go to Percy that's probably because the thing you want to do is stupid

271. Saying you were possessed by Gaea/Kronos/Anyone else who hates demigods is not a valid excuse for any of the above

272. Or below

273. Singing the song 'Camp Half-Blood' too new campers is not allowed

274. Stop traumatising new campers

275. If you run into someone with a boomerang for a weapon say that your a Greek demigod and then get the heck outta dodge

276. They'll understand

277. The Kane's are not to be invited to every capture the flag game by Percy and Annabeth

278. Nico Di Angelo is the devil's child

279. Spamming the Camp Half-Blood group chat with photos of Pickles in places she should not be in is not allowed

280. Please stop growing weed

281. yeAH KATIE AND TRAVIS

282. Friendly reminder that Chiron follows you on Instagram and is in the gc

283. Percy Jackson is banned from bringing his skateboard to Camp after the incident

284. Quoting Vines 24/7 is annoying please stop, I haven't slept in a week

285. I was weak-

286. NO

287. Changing traffic signs all over Long Island to say "Do not enter; second Titan war ongoing" will make you the sole proprietor of the reveal of the gods and you will be held accountable for that

288. RIP them

289. Nico no

290. WHY DO WE HAVE ALMOST THREE HUNDRED RULES

291. WTF IS WRONG WITH US

292. we're children of the gods

293. Really? I never noticed

294. The rule book is not a place to have conversations

295. Awww cmon

296. Sending chain texts to the gc will result in a ban from yours truly, Annabeth Chase

297. Please remember to take your pills, they're for your own good

298. If you are feeling sick please come to the infirmary as soon as possible

299. Children of the Big Three are no longer allowed to say they are fine unless told so by an actual doctor/Apollo child

300. If Apollo ever shows up at camp block out his haikus. Spare yourself

301. The wine of the gods is not for mortals

302. Ahhh it's Mr D

303. Back to your activities, Perry Johanson

304. When in doubt, go to Percy or Annabeth

305. And if you do go to Percy go immediately to Annabeth because Percy is wrong

306. If the Pegasi are restless, injured, or you need someone to cover riding lessons, go to Percy immediately

307. Service dogs are to be treated with the utmost respect

308. If a service dogs vest is on, they are working. If it's off feel free to play around and let it

309. WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY CHEETOS

310. Percy, that isn't a rule and watch your language

311. Sorry sorry

312. WHOM THE FUCK STOLE MY CHEETOS

313. OR

314. ¿Quién robó mis cheetos?

315. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

316. You??? Speak??? Spanish???

317. Nope

318. ???

319. No, Mrs O'Leary cannot be your service dog

----

:)

This is my greatest writing achievement. Ever. I wrote this with a few friends so I hope you enjoyed what came from our minds. I feel like crap rn so it was nice to get this published.

God Wattpad and Fanfiction hate me, neither one allows strikethrough. Go check out this story on my Ao3 profile under the same name. I promise its worth it, you really get the whole effect and humour.