Kaleb entered the graveyard passing the big tree walking a few more extended meters, before glancing at his father's resting place. Kneeling down and picking up the leaves. Fixing the flowers and wiping off the dust and residue from the stone.

"Hi Daddy." He whispered. In his mind, he could picture his father. Sitting next to him and smiling. And that's what it felt like. That's what he wanted it to be. "It was Dad's birthday a while back so I didn't get to come visit like I do every 1st Friday of the month." The wind in the cemetery was his only response. But he knew his Dad was listening. Sitting Indian style in front of him with his eyes blue and clear. That maroon beanie on his head with his fringe peaking out. Because when Dad came home, he would grow out his Hair because Harry would always knot his fingers in it.

Kaleb placed a single rose on the ledge of the rock. It was warmer now than before. When he and Harry came back in December it was like ice. Ice. The first Christmas without his Dad flashed through his mind. As did the last Christmas with his Dad. He sniffled.

"You've been gone for 5 years now Daddy." Kaleb pulled his legs to his chest. He knew he was gonna cry. He always did. "And I can't... I can't help but think about that I may forget about you." A tear burned down the young teens cheek. "And... Dad always told me about how I'm a spitting image of you." Kaleb's chin wobbled and he pressed his forehead to his knees giving up on his speech. He couldn't do it. Not now at least.

It was March 8th. And 5 years ago today he was told about the death of Louis. His Dad. His hero. The man who taught him everything he ever knew about football and told him even if he hated the game, he was still proud he attempted to try. And at his first game, Dad and Daddy sat in the stands. And Daddy was in his uniform. And it was the first time he had come back in 6 months. And He was 7 years old and so Happy because Daddy picked him up and spun him around and Coach Mike cried and Dad cried too. Daddy cried and Kissed Kaleb and took him out to ice cream.

That was 7 years ago. Half of his life.

Kaleb started to think. About everything. And he decided to remind his Father. Because If he didn't talk to Louis, he was afraid he'd forget him. And he couldn't. He just couldn't. He was his Daddy.

Kaleb closed his eyes and started to daydream.

He thought about when He was five. At five years old Daddy was home fore Christmas. It was the Christmas Louis woke him up early and carried him downstairs. And his hair was really short because he just came home 5 days ago. So Kaleb and his Daddy made breakfast. Eggs on Toast with Tea. But Kaleb wasn't aloud to have Tea, because it mad him to jumpy in the mornings. So they had orange juice and eggs on toast. And Harry was still asleep when they brought it up stairs. And Harry didn't have any clothes on underneath the blankets and his hair looked messy. Not bed head, but messy head. And Harry and Daddy exchange Merry Christmas' and kisses that made Kaleb stick his tongue out. And Daddy laughed and fed Kaleb pieces of Toast until Harry told them they could go downstairs and open presents. Then After Kaleb opened all his presents, Louis pulled out a shiny new train. That Day, Kaleb was so Happy. Daddy was Happy. Harry was Happy too.

Kaleb remembered that day. Bright and clear. Daddy had recorded the event on the camera and Harry would always watch it and Laugh. Kaleb missed his parent's laughs.

Then there was Dad's birthday. But Daddy was overseas again. So Daddy called Dad and Kaleb on Skype and Dad was in the middle of reading Kaleb a bed time story. And Louis smiled at The screen and waved but Dad cried because this time he hadn't seen Daddy in 7 months. And he hadn't talked to him in 3 weeks because there was bomb attacks going on and nothing could be triggered. And Kaleb was in his race car pajamas. And he kissed the camera goodnight and Daddy did too. And Kaleb went to sleep with Harry that night because his dad was lonely in his bed.

Kaleb sighed rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I start high school soon. And I guess you could say I'm nervous. I heard dad say he wished you would come." Kaleb was silent and sniffling every now and then. "I feel like your gonna show up in your uniform like you always do and surprise me but..." Kaleb picked at the grass, clearing his throat. "I guess you can't now even if you wanted to huh?" He smiled. He let his body relax and let his knees go down to his sides. "For God sakes Daddy why'd you have to go to war!" He shouted suddenly breaking off into tears.

Kaleb rarely got angry. But he did at first. When they were laying him to rest the day Louis finally met the dirt in the ground and the fellow troops stood by him. And they handed Kaleb his father's things. He was hit with a wave of anger. And when he and Harry got in the car, Harry pulled him into the back seat and rocked him slowly. Kissing his forehead and telling him everything would be okay. But it wouldn't be. He felt so lost that day. And Harry did too. They spent nearly the next 2 weeks in silence. And Kaleb nor Harry questioned if one of them came into their own room just to lay down and cuddle sometimes. Or to come in sobbing and to be held. Often times, Kaleb was one who cried and needed to be held. But sleeping was all Harry. He couldn't help but wander into Kaleb's room and slide underneath the covers. Pressing kisses to his sons head and wrapping his arms around him. And Kaleb knew why. He couldn't stand to be in that bed alone. Because now it was forever empty. Louis would never step foot in that house again.

He would never laugh again.

He would never speak or sing again.

He would never hold or kiss Kaleb and Harry again.

He would never be Louis or Daddy in the living breathing form.

He was dead. Dead and gone. And it wasn't fair. No not at all.

Kaleb Sat for another solid 10 minutes before dusting off his bottom, getting up and closing his eyes. Mentally giving his Daddy a hug goodbye for now he returned home.

As Kaleb entered the house, he saw his Dad alone on the sofa. Cocooned in a blanket. He hadn't shaved, eaten, or moved all day. And he only sent a slight gaze upon Kaleb as he entered the house. But Kaleb knew this by now. Harry's behavior was expected  to be like this. And Kaleb had to be the one to break him down.

Kaleb strolled over to his Dad, toeing off his shoes and sitting on the arm of the couch. He only stayed there for a minute before he lied down on his Dad. Feeling the exhale of Harry's lungs as he did so. And his father wrapped his arms as well as the blanket around the 14 year old boy. A sigh leaving the man's lips. 

"Dad? Do you wanna sleep in my room tonight?" Kaleb knew that was always a soft spot. He braced himself for Harry's reaction, but it was silence in the living room. "Dad?" Nothing. "Dad please." He whispered. And that's when the waterworks started. The two sat up and Harry was a mess of tears. Kaleb hated nothing more than to see his dad cry, but it was the only way he could knock him out of the muted state. "It's okay." Kaleb whispered. So Harry sobbed and sobbed into his son's shirt for the first time in a while. Usually it had been vice versa. Harry had held in his silence for his son for too long. And now, he could finally get it out.

After a few solid minutes, Harry pulled away from his 14 year old son's shoulder and rubbed his eyes. 

"He wouldn't want you to cry you know." Kaleb stated cuddling into his dad. "You need to come with me again." Harry squeezed his son tightly. "It'll get you closure." Harry glanced down at the blue eyes he loved so dear. 

"You wouldn't understand Kaleb. You're still to young." He murmured. Kaleb's brows creased.

"But that's the thing, I'm not." Harry sighed, sniffling slightly. 

"Kaleb please... I'll go when I'm ready I just can't go now okay? Let's just go to bed." Kaleb agreed not wanting to distress his father anymore, and the two carried their heavy bodies upstairs into Kaleb's room. And Kaleb was silent as his dad laid mute beside him. Although cradling him and pressing subtle kisses to his head until the man eventually drifted off to sleep. Kaleb laid awake most of that night. Trying not to cry as he watched his dad dream the nightmare of the passing all over again. For Kaleb knew if he went to sleep, he'd dream of it too.