Friday, August 10th.
It was the start of 10th grade. I took a deep breath.

'Fuck'

My mom dropped me off at the bus stops. We'd just gotten regional bussing this year, and lucky me, I had Jess on my bus. I didn't have Michael or Anthony, though...

I sighed. Why did I always have to fall for guys who I didn't want to fall for. At least I was over him now. We talked a bit in a group chat because we weren't trusted one on one, and we'd decided that the best thing to do was to stop it all. Not friends, not enemies. We didn't talk to each other unless indirectly or in a group chat. It was better that way.

I ran a hand through my messy hair. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to face school again this year. I'd have to go forever without seeing Anthony. He's in 11th grade, so we share no classes, and now we don't even share a carpool.

I put in my earbuds as I got onto the bus, playing a mix of Panic! At The Disco and the My Hero Academia soundtrack. I tried to calm down. I had a shitty teacher first period, and I didn't know about 2nd, 5th, or 7th, but I just hoped and prayed today would be a good day.

Please let it be a good day.

That's when the thoughts came swarming back to my head, seeming almost deafening. I hated it. I hated myself. It wasn't a matter of others not wanting me here. It wasn't a matter of others hating me.

Heck, I couldn't give less of a shit about what everyone else wanted from me.

I only cared about my friends. And I was fine with that.

Jess got on at the next stop, making me smile. Finally, someone to talk with to help me stop these thoughts.

"Hey what's with that thing you texted me last night?" Jess asked when she got on.

"What thing?" I asked, having little to no memory of the previous night due to being so sleep deprived.

"You know, you said you liked Anthony and you have a bit of a crush on Mi--"

"Shut the fuck up! No I didn't!" I quickly opened my phone, checking my texts. Sure enough, there it was in writing. I saw another message too. To Anthony. Fuck.

I'd told him I liked him, then I'd blocked his caller ID. I sighed. I guess I'll just hope I don't see him in the halls.

The day went moderately okay, though. My first period teacher sent me to the office for dress code, which I ended up not violating. In second period my teacher seemed really chill and nice, and in third and fourth I had two theatre classes back-to-back, so there was no possible way for that to be bad.

During lunch, I texted Jess, 'hey where are you.'

'Lunch line. Where you wanna go? The old portable?'

'Nah. That teacher moved into the building. Wanna go to her classroom?'

'Sure'

And that's how the ritual started. Michael, Jess, and I all made our way to the teacher's new classroom, and we hung out there the whole lunch period.

Needless to say, it was a good day, (besides the shitty language arts teacher) and no matter how upset I was over Anthony...

I was okay now.