SUMMARY: Yelena and you talk about your lives, what's been lost, and what's been regretted.

WARNINGS: cursing, mentions of violence.

DYNAMIC: established relationship.

~~~

You sat quietly on the end of Yelena's bed, leaned against the wooden wall as she continued to nurse her broken arm.

you pulled your knees to your chest and hid the lower half of your face, glaring at the opposite wall.

if Magath wasn't already dead, you'd have killed the bastard yourself.

You glance over at the blonde, who was staring down at her lap and clutching the thin blanket over her legs with her good hand.

She hadn't spoken a word since it happened, not that you blamed her. Zeke had essentially betrayed her, although you weren't sure if it was intentional or not, she had been held down and technically tortured, begging for her life, and now she was suffering from an infection because of said torture.

So, yeah, it's no wonder she's quiet.

You shifted your foot over ever so slightly and tapped it against her blanket covered calf, making her head tilt up ever so slightly to look over at you with exhausted, hooded eyes.

You scrunched your eyebrows in concern, asking her in a silent way if she was going to be alright.

She held your gaze for a few more moments before shaking her head, looking back down.

You went back to staring at the wall.

It was silent again.

But then she spoke.

"I'm sorry."

It was said quietly, so quietly that you were sure you wouldn't have heard it if it weren't for the fact that you were both alone in an empty room on a big boat.

You looked over at her again, giving her a confused look.

"What are you sorry for?"

Yelena gripped her blanket tight, her knuckles turning white.

"That I dragged you into all of this. If you hadn't met me, maybe your friends would still trust you, maybe they wouldn't hate you for wanting to be with Marleyan scum like me. Your people, Eldians, you're supposed to hate my kind, my ancestors treated yours like shit to put it lightly, so why don't you hold that against me? Why don't you hate me too?"

Her voice strained against itself on her last couple words, telling you she was willing herself not to choke up.

She breathed heavily through her nostrils, taking a money before talking again.

"I ruined your life. If you hadn't met me, if we hadn't gotten together, you'd still have people in your corner, willing to defend you, but now they all hate you and it's my fault."

She swallowed down a shuddered breath, keeping her head low, most likely so you wouldn't see her face.

"Maybe it'd be better if we hadn't known each other at all."

You stared at her.

"Do- do you regret being with me?" You asked, your voice surprisingly small.

Yelena gripped her blanket even harder if that were possible.

"No. No, I could never regret it, I could never regret you, but I regret the way things turned out. I love you so much, that so many times I've wanted to give up on this fucking plan and run away with you, where no one could bother us, it'd be just you, and me, and we wouldn't have to worry about the hatred, or all the bullshit betrayals, or the violence. But, I'm a fucking coward, and I didn't, and now we're probably sailing to our deaths, so I wanted you to know that I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry that your life has come to this, that you were forced to choose between your home and me. And to be honest, you shouldn't have chosen me. You deserve better than me."

You stared at the woman for a moment, before scooting yourself off the bed to stand beside it.

"Why would you think that my actions were your fault? I made my own choices, I'm the one the turned my back on everyone. I'm the one they all loathe. That's not your fault."

She looked up at you.

"But it is. If I had not acted on my feelings, if I had left you alone, you wouldn't be in this room in the first place, you'd hate me just like the rest of them, and maybe that's for the best. I'd rather you hate me, despite everything we've been through, than have you be alone."

"But I'm not."

She gave you a confused look.

"not what?"

You returned her confusion with a sad, mournful gaze.

"I'm not alone. Not with you. And yeah, that sounds corny as hell, but it's the truth. Sure, all my friends may hate me now, but they have every right to. I... betrayed them, but that was my choice. Not yours, you didn't force me. I made my own faults, and yeah, I'm starting to regret them now,  it it still happened. I can't change anything, I can't change the way they feel."

You sat back down on the bed, on the edge this time, then I curled Yelena's fingers from the blanket, then took her hand in your own.

"Even if we might be sailing to our death, I don't want our potential last moments together to be filled with regret, or sadness, or anything like that. I just want to be here, with you, and make you happy for however we have left to be together. That's all I care about, that's all I'll ever care about. And, if we do make it out of this alive, then you and I will immediately go somewhere where no one will k ow who we are, where no one will judge us for what we've done. I promise you that."

Yelena stared at you with watery eyes, and then she squeezed them shut and nodded.

"Okay. Okay, we can do that."

You rubbed your thumb over her knuckles, before lifting her hand and pressing a gentle kiss to her fingers.

~~~

You stood on the small balcony of your home, overlooking the bustling city below.

Yelena hadn't said what this place was called, but you didn't care. The city name didn't matter, as long as it was safe.

It had been three years since the Rumbling, and the world was still picking itself back up from the trauma and brutality of it all.

Of course, true to your word, you had found a place where you and Yelena wouldn't be recognized, and had slowly started to build a life for yourselves. The rest of the world didn't matter if it was just you two.

The door to the balcony opened and then shut, but you didn't have to look back to see who it was as a hand gently pressed against the small of your back and then a taller figure stood beside you.

You looked up at your now wife, who had changed a bit in the last three years. Her bowl cut was cut into something a bit more masculine, but still holding the androgynous edge that she liked to surround herself with. She also now had a few self done tattoos that traveled up her forearm.

You smiled up at her.

"Hi."

She looked down at you, raising a teasing brown, before smiling in return.

"Hi."

You both turned back to look at the scenery, but this time, you leaned into her side as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

It didn't matter what had led you both here, what mistakes and regrets were made along the way, you were just glad you got to share this with her.

Besides, as long as you both were there to support each other , neither of you could be cowards.

God damn, has it really been 8 months since I last updated??  Omfg I am so fucking sorry. Life had been... well, shit if I'm being honest. I turned 18 in January, so that's been an adjustment that I'm not taking too well, and I'm in the process of moving. Again. Fucking kill me.

Not only that, but I kind of fell out of my aot hyper fixation? So, I haven't really been all that motivated to write Yelena content, even though I have so many oneshot drafts that I have to work on. So that's been a notch as well.

But, all my drama aside, I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It also happens to be a future scene in my OC book -if I ever get around to continue writing it.

WORDS: 1,426