Chapter Six: Complications

            Although Delrand flitted over the buildings, I could sense an edge to his movements and even his thoughts seemed to have a sharpness to them. He landed on a building and flapped his wings a few times, followed by three squawks. The building he had perched himself on was clearly a house; it had two storeys and few windows. The thatched roof, however, seemed to bring the wooden beamed walls together and make it look rather homely. From where I remained outside, I could not tell if it was still inhabited; that was until someone opened the door. It was clearly not because I was there and staring at their home but to throw away some unused food into the villages pig pen.

            Turning my attention back to Delrand, I spoke to him in our secret way. Is he family to you?

            I do not know but it is possible that he might be a younger brother. Or perhaps even a cousin, I did not know much of my family before I left and even less when I did. I never returned here once Merlin took me in. I suppose it is highly possible that my parents had another child after I ran away since I was their only son.

            I glanced around a few times, privately keeping an eye on the potential future brother-in-law I might one day have. Do you think he knows? About you, I mean.

            He dove back down to my shoulder. I doubt my parents would expose the truth about such a troublesome offspring. So no, I do not think he would know though perhaps that I ran away but not why. And I do not plan on asking him or revealing myself to him.

            ‘And why not?’ I asked out loud turning to face him. Before Delrand could answer, I noticed a few people staring at me. With a cough, I urged Rose on just as Lancelot and the others rode into the village’s centre.

            That is not important right now, he said just as I joined my brothers-in-arms. As usual I let Bors and Gawain explain why we were there and who the other people were; the only extra bit for me to add was that I would not make anyone leave their home and the people from the village invaded by Saxons were going to stay here (if they wanted). I was just explaining the food and supplies issue when I was interrupted.

            ‘And why should we help you?’ To my surprise it was the same young man who had come out of Delrand’s old house. ‘Every trouble we have had in the past we had to sort out ourselves. None of it ever seemed to pass to the king’s ears or yours as a matter of fact.’

            What he said did not go well with Bors at all. ‘As a matter of fact, we would have helped or sent help if we had heard of any trouble.’

            ‘Bors, stop,’ I ordered. He had hopped down off his saddle before he spoke. ‘I do apologise but we cannot help the outreaches so easily.’

            ‘You say that but you’re all safe up in that castle of yours.’ The man began to step over to me; to which a few things happened. Bors unsheathed his sword, Gawain took out one of his daggers, Tristan nocked an arrow to his bow and it was a massive overreaction. Unfortunately, before I could stop him too, Delrand hovered in front of the man’s face and flapped his wings. The man hit him out of the way towards the ground where Delrand changed to the wolf I had long ago seen him as. None of this was helping one bit. ‘Uh, men,’ I huffed to myself. ‘Alright, enough!’ I shouted, unseating myself at the same time.

            I’m not hurt, Delrand said when I gave him a worried glance. He swished his tail around to one side and then sat calmly on his haunches.

            Turning back to the irate man and now the whole village, I spoke again and although I was rather angry, I kept my voice steady and did not raise it. ‘I am not just asking for your help just to save myself and my own interest,’ I began. ‘Rather I ask you to help yourselves. The Saxons will not stay in Camelot and be happy there. As some of these fleeing people will tell you, we came across a band of them already sacking a town. Saxons never just conquer. They pillage and burn what they can and sometimes they will kill and not just the men who try to attack them.’

            ‘Is that a threat?!’

            ‘No!’ I quickly readjusted my voice. ‘It is the truth. And we are most certainly not Saxons.’ The more I looked at him, the more and more I saw Delrand in him; there was no way that they were not related. He is definitely your brother, at the most.

            I highly doubt it.

            There is only one way to find out, I hinted.

            You wouldn’t? There was even a real growl to go with that.

            Of course I wouldn’t. I would never do anything to hurt him or that he should be involved in without him knowing, not after all this time. Come on, I need something to eat. I was really rather hungry and I felt like sinking my teeth deep into a chunk of meat and non-stale bread.

            ‘Better?’ Delrand asked, sitting next to me after watching me bite off the last of a juicy portion of pork. He had decided it did not matter whether he was in his human form since he knew I would stop anyone who tried to hurt him or keep him away from where he grew up. I had no influence on his new frame of mind though I must have among some of the reasons why he no longer prowled on the ground or perched on my shoulder.

            ‘Mmm, much. Still, I think you should talk to him,’ I said continuing a small conversation we had a few minutes previously.

            He reached over with his hand and wiped off some juice that had settled on my chin. ‘I told you, I would rather not have to deal with family outbursts right now. I have you to think about.’

            ‘And how many times must I remind you that I can look out for myself? I do not always need you to watch my back.’ After I had walked off with Delrand from the main encompass of the village, the young man who had questioned me had seemingly disappeared; whether he had gone back inside or ran off was something to be figured out later.

            ‘How long will this subject remain unfinished?’

            ‘For as long as you keep denying that I am right on this.’ I leant over, kissed him on the cheek and pushed myself up off the ground. Although my body could easily sustain the amount of horseback travel I had endured over the many days, my mind felt heavy. It did not help that I said almost the same or very similar words every time we came to some sort of settlement. The small fighting we had done with the band of Saxons had not been enough to reframe my thoughts nor had it refreshed my true purpose for this mission. The toll of leading untrained soldiers across open countryside was beginning to become a burden. I needed an escape of some sorts and I knew exactly where to find it. ‘Delrand?’

            He had remained on the ground and was just stretching a leg when I called. ‘Yes?’ he said with a soft, gentle tone.

            ‘Would you disappear with me for a little while?’

            As though he had been waiting a long time for me to ask him that, he popped up onto his feet in a second. ‘Where to?’

            ‘The stones,’ I told him. ‘I just need to get away from all of this for a bit.’ As I spoke, I waved my right hand in the direction of the village and camping marchers. ‘Being around it all makes me think of very little else.’

            Taking my hand, he persuaded my body all too easily to step towards him. ‘I know exactly how you feel.’ And the next second found us stood a few yards away from the easternmost stone of Stonehenge. It was strange to see it again and it looked even more beautiful with the setting sun dipping towards the hilltop on the opposite side of the stones. I had not changed since I was last here, which seemed such a long time ago. Although we knew we were not the only sorcerer’s to use this place, we had expected to be alone. That was until his not so familiar voice made me jump and blast a chunk of stone from where he had briefly sat. ‘Lucifer!’ I shouted, storming inside the stones’ perimeter after him.

            ‘I thought you had seen me,’ he said with a rough chuckle.

            ‘Hardly. What do you want?’ Although Delrand might trust him, I did not. He gave off a sort of dark aura yet I suppose I prejudged him more than all the others I had met here on my first visit.

            By now, Delrand had wandered through Merlin’s magical barrier just as Lucifer answered me. ‘Just to see you. We heard what happened at Camlan.’ That name still uncurled like a snake inside my head and I felt my blood bubble inside me. ‘How did you get away?’ It was more of a curious way that he had asked that question.

            Sitting down on a fallen stone block, I crossed one leg over the other. ‘That is rather difficult to explain. Why does it matter to you?’

            Lucifer’s smile melted from his face leaving a blank expression in its wake. ‘Er, Lucifer had a slightly bad experience with Mordred. That was very long ago however but it is the reason why he is hardly ever in this country anymore,’ Delrand explained to me briefly.

            ‘My story can wait for another day, Delrand. For now, we still have to get rid of that rat and this Saxon army he has somehow managed to get over here.’

            I spared myself a short laugh. ‘Too bad none of us thought to keep an eye out on the sea. Still, it is not too late.’

            Lucifer folded his arms and furrowed his eyebrows. ‘You seem rather cheerful about all this. It is not good at all.’

            ‘You would not understand. I have my reasons for how I feel about a lot of things and they are very tiring, so please, leave me alone.’ I was very sure that he would not have left at my own words and I had to assume that Delrand must have, privately, said something to him as he slunk into the dying light of the day beyond the circle before disappearing.

            ‘He was only trying to help,’ Delrand told me.

            ‘That maybe but I do not want to deal with anyone else at the moment. I have spent far too many days or weeks with the same people and I was scared of losing my mind.’

            ‘I am very sure that would never happen. You are far too strong for that.’

            My shoulders dropped heavily as I sighed. ‘Still, I feel very misty headed lately.’

            ‘You are not bored of me though, I see.’

            Not understanding him, I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him. ‘How do you mean?’

            With a soft smile, he shook his head to which I put aside what he had said. A sudden but mild breeze picked up and blew through the stones. Lifting my chin up, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my thoughts as the wind blew my hair across my face and around my shoulders. ‘Uhhh,’ I sighed, dropping my shoulders heavily and leaning back a little. ‘Life was simpler a few years ago.’

            Delrand did not say anything. As I opened my eyes, I saw him stood in the centre of the circle, his hands limply by his sides and his eyes fixed on watching the sun set. A few seconds later, the lower edge of the sun began to descend below the horizon. I remained sat on the fallen stone until the sun had completely disappeared and left behind a beautiful pink sky. Its remaining light highlighted the underside of the clouds. By then I had stood up and had made my way over to lean against one of the western facing stones. Stepping over, Delrand leant against the stone to my left, both of us filling in the gap between the adjacent stones. ‘It was simpler for everyone a few years ago.’ Then he turned to me with a very solemn yet serious expression etched onto his face. ‘And it will be again. It may never be the same but it will be far less complicated than it is now.’

            As I stared longer into his eyes, there was the unmistakeable sign that he was seeing something inside his mind that I could not. ‘What is it?’ I asked softly.

            His body twitched when he realised I could tell. His shoulders shifted forward slightly and his eyes flashed green for a split second. ‘Nothing for you to worry about.’ It was just as he held out his hand for me to take that I noticed his mind was indeed closed to me and not just whatever he had been seeing.

            Nevertheless, I took his hand in mine and stepped into his side. Everything was out of place for us all and until it was finally sorted we had to respect each other’s decisions (even if they excluded the other for a brief period). It was peaceful here tonight. The silence around us was only disturbed by a few birds flying to their nests for the night. I would have easily slept here if I had not been standing though I did close my eyes whilst laying my head on Delrand’s shoulder.

            His lips soon pressed against my forehead. ‘Hmm, we should head back,’ he whispered into my ear.

            My body automatically pushed into his more. ‘I would rather stay here for the night.’

            Taking my hand in his and pulling it up to my chest, he straightened up against the stone. ‘As would I. Our friends will wonder where we have got to. This is not a good time to be disappearing off on your own without them knowing.’

            ‘Our friends?’ I asked rather curiously looking into his eyes.

            He gave me a wry smile before pulling my away from the stones and into the open meadow it was situated in.

            We had been gone long enough in my opinion. As soon as we appeared outside the camp and I glanced over the mass of people settled down for the night, my demeanour changed dramatically.

            Delrand propped my chin up slightly. ‘It will all be over soon,’ he said, trying to reassure me.

            We made our way around the outskirts of the camp and were just about to head inside our tent when Gawain called over. It was clear to me that he and the others had been looking for me (although I know they would not admit it). ‘Elara!’

            ‘What?’ I asked sharply.

            ‘We were wondering if we should really be camping every night? Surely it is a waste of time to be doing so.’

            Delrand slipped inside the tent behind me. ‘These are not trained soldiers, Gawain. They cannot march over tough terrain for days and nights on end like you or I. Besides, it gives any others in the towns to make their minds up. Especially those who are not sure what they should do.’

            ‘But...’

            I raised my hand and he stopped. ‘Good night, Gawain.’ And I stepped through the tent’s opening, tying them together inside by the tassels.

*****

            It was that very night, as Delrand slept beside me, that I looked back over the past weeks and months and realised I had changed. It was hard to explain, even within my own mind, but, nonetheless, I had indeed become a different person. I still saw my knights as my friends but within the time that had passed since Camlan, I had given them more orders than at any time before. Although I somewhat felt ashamed of it, I brought back my oldest memories of how my father was. He was as close friends with the knights as I had been yet he knew that he could not be so familiar with as I had always been. Maybe, I thought, that I should slowly change my relationship with my closest friends and become the leader that I had seen in my father. I would have to carefully resolve my issues and eventually change the way I act and behave. For the time being however, I had to focus on the problem at hand; and what a problem I had to resolve.

            It had been so long since Camlan that I no longer measured my time by weeks but rather by day at a time. I had my suspicions that my friends had also lost track of how long we had been on the road. Training of the common people continued and it was so successful (as far as it could be in such open countryside) that Lancelot and Gawain approached me with an odd idea.

            ‘Some of them have become rather good at killing that we should introduce some ranks among the men,’ Gawain finished. He had been reporting on how well the physical combat training had been developing.

            Lancelot did not appear in any way baffled by this idea, which told me they had indeed discussed this before coming to me. ‘That is a very odd proposal. Have you also thought on how you would distribute these ranks?’ Our conversation continued on the matter further until we came to the conclusion that they, along with Bors and Tristan, should gather the better of our recruits and bring them to me to swear them to a public army (of a complicated sort) and then organise what their individual roles should be. Gawain seemed pleased with himself (it being his idea) and rode off to find his fellow brothers. Lancelot remained in front of me and I tilted my head in confusion and intrigue.

            ‘You seem troubled,’ he bluntly said.

            Indeed I was but I had not expected him to notice it. We had not spoken much with this continuing journey. ‘Yes. I am worried,’ I said, giving him just a short of an answer to his comment.

            He gestured for us to resume riding alongside the column of people. ‘Tell me, what is troubling you?’

            It had been even longer since I had confided in him. We discussed many things; not least of all about how I often envisioned our efforts being met by defeat. Although they were often, they were brief in the measure of time. It was during that long conversation that Lancelot also confided in me that he too had worried on the same issues. He suggested that it be futile to think too deeply into any of our worries and focus on them when they unveil themselves. I could easily admire his wisdom in such a subject as war and battle since he had indeed taken part within regional battles to resolve disputes between neighbouring lords (most of which were about land rather than power). After our conversation had grown quiet, he ceased his horse from walking to wait for Gawain, Bors and Tristan to catch up; meanwhile I rode on ahead and, partially, away from the mass of people I had gathered to one cause.

*****