Chapter Three: Watching and Waiting

            Hours soon became days and days rolled into weeks. It soon became clear that everyone was getting a bit annoyed with each other; especially Bors and Gawain, they weren’t as used to being in close quarters with their friends for so long. Although we could not do much indoors, we still had the horses that belonged to Justin, Oscar and Harrod and Volareus remained around as well. As they would some days go on patrols, they did so whilst they were here; it kept them out of each other’s way for a few hours. It also gave Delrand some breathing space too even if it wasn’t clear to everyone, I could tell. That was not the only thing to change; Justin and Isilda returned though maybe not in the best of moods. They returned on a quiet day.

            ‘Isilda!’ I was glad to see her again and embraced her like a sister when I had run up to her.

            ‘Hello.’ We separated just as Justin walked past. ‘I am sorry about your father and friends,’ she whispered delicately as we watched her brother disappear inside.

            ‘And I am sorry for yours.’ We went inside ourselves and headed to the kitchen. I assumed Justin would either be resting or talking to Delrand somewhere else in the house. ‘Oh, erm before they all come back,’ I began. ‘My friends are not exactly very subtle, if you get my meaning.’

            She giggled as she set her bag onto the table. ‘I understand. Do not worry. I can take care of myself.’ Isilda had changed a lot since I last met her.

            ‘I will try to keep them out of your way if that might help.’ We both giggled some more and she handed me a glass of wine.

            ‘What is so amusing?’ It was Lancelot and I was more than happy to see him. He looked very strange in the more normal civilian clothes Delrand and I had fished out for him.

            ‘Nothing to do with you. Where have you been?’

            Isilda busied herself with her bag. ‘You know where I went. This place has very little adventure in it. It is very boring.’

            ‘Ah, I see. Lancelot, there is nothing boring about any one place. You just have to look a little harder than in the towns and villages we’ve been to.’

            Lancelot was not the only one who refused to learn even the smallest bit about my sorcery. ‘If you say so.’

            The clatter of Tristan, Bors and Gawain making their way back sounded through the hallway to the kitchen. Isilda listened along with myself and Lancelot. Tristan came through without the other two and got himself some water. It was only then that he noticed Isilda; she looked at him too and the air suddenly grew heavy and awkward. Lancelot nudged my elbow and left to head up to his room.

            ‘Tristan, this is Isilda. She is Justin’s sister. Isilda, this is my cousin Tristan.’ Tristan politely bowed his head whilst Isilda glanced at me with a smile. ‘I had thought you would be out all day riding around somewhere.’

            Tristan stopped looking at Isilda long enough to come up with a response. ‘There is only so far we can go before we get hungry.’

            ‘You should have taken something with you. Delrand wanted to talk to me so I had best go. I will see you later.’ And I left, knowing my slight untruth would not be picked up on.

            Later that day, I sat with Delrand on his bed in the dark. It wasn’t dark for long as I showed him how I made the glowing spheres when I was Mordred’s prisoner. He was very fascinated by it as he had never had the need to make the orbs before. After watching me, he managed to produce one as well. His was blue although I assumed he had chosen that colour on purpose or, like mine, that was just the natural colour it was always going to be. In any case, I did not think too much on it and ceased my magic. I had not been sleeping well but I thought, the earlier I tried to sleep, the more I would get in the long run. It had been a cold day so the night was rather chilly; I curled up under the sheets.

            Delrand still moved his orb around the room seeming like a child with a new toy. ‘It seems I have nothing more to teach you.’

            ‘There are still things you can teach me,’ I mumbled as I made myself comfortable. ‘It is simply the case of there being very little of them.’

            ‘Hmm, well recently it seems I have learnt more from you than I thought I could.’ He shuffled down next to me and pulled me close as his light evaporated. Under my hands I could feel he had no shirt on which made me blush in the darkness. ‘Or it is just things I never thought I was capable of,’ he chuckled and kissed my forehead.

            ‘Sometimes experimenting is a part of what I can do. If I manage something easily then it should be just as easy for you.’

            ‘Then it seems the tables have turned. Haha, hmm. Well, goodnight.’ He was in a strange mood yet a good one all the same.

            I did try to sleep but my nightmares came back and I soon woke up in a chill. ‘Get out of there,’ I said to my head. I did not want the images to appear every night. Crossing my legs, I picked my pillow up and held it tight to my chest. Delrand was still asleep, lying on his back without a worry line on his face. I left him to sleep, took my cloak and headed downstairs. Despite the darkness in our room, it was the thin curtain that blocked out the moonlight. I took a small walk under the half-moon sky. Knowing I would not be able to sleep with the images in my head, I had to somehow come to terms with them; now seemed a good enough time to do that. I stood on the nearest hilltop and watched the stars; I ran through all the terrible things that had happened, one by one.

            ‘Couldn’t sleep?’

            I wiped my eyes. ‘Lancelot, what are you doing out here?’

            Walking up the grassy bank, he came over and looked around to see what I might be looking at. ‘I couldn’t sleep. It’s too open here for me.’

            ‘Too open?’

            ‘Hmm, I’m used to high walls. You seem different out here,’ he said observably.

            I wrapped my cloak around me just as a breeze started up. ‘I like it out here. You know I never liked to be cooped up all the time. Besides, here I can be who I want and do nearly anything I like. Hmm, I miss him, Lancelot.’

            ‘So do we all but you are in charge now.’

            ‘But I’m not ready for this and I am already making mistakes.’

            ‘Arthur knew you were ready and it was only Delrand’s magic that brought you here.’ That was true. ‘All you need is a plan. And you will make mistakes at first but that is what having your friends around you is about.’ He smiled at me and took my hand though it wasn’t like the way he used to hold it. ‘It has only been a couple of weeks. No one can judge you yet as you have not had the chance.’

            ‘But that’s the thing. I should not have let this happen. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I’m not...’

            ‘Don’t even think that. You are Arthur’s heir and no one can take that from you. Even your father made mistakes when he was a young king. Now, do you need help with a plan?’ His smile changed to a smirk.

            With a single breath, my mood changed. ‘If I did not know you any better, I would say you already had one.’ He did not tell me it. The breeze grew stronger and in such open spaces, things grew colder a lot faster. We turned around and headed back inside. It was just as quiet inside as when I was stood on the hill; everyone was asleep and I crept along as silently as I could. Lancelot, on the other hand, walked around just as he would anywhere not caring if he woke anyone up. He went upstairs without saying good night and I soon followed once I heard his door close. Delrand did not remain asleep for very long once I had stepped into our room; I had formed another glowing sphere but it was dim enough that I knew it was not the cause of his waking.

            ‘What is it?’ he asked immediately, assuming something was wrong.

            With a subtle smile, I took off my cloak and outer garments and slipped in beside him. ‘I got woken up.’ His eyes filled with instant worry as his arms shot around me. ‘I am fine, though we need to leave when the time is right.’

            ‘And when is that?’ he asked.

            I shuffled down so I could sleep comfortably. ‘I am sure we will know when the time comes.’

            ‘Hmm.’ Neither he nor I said anything more, though I did not feel tired, some part of me must have been as I was soon enveloped in a deep sleep.

*****

Delrand’s PoV

            Many more days passed without any hint of movement from Elara’s company. There was no doubt that they indeed wanted to get back to doing what they had been born to do yet they had to wait on Elara’s decisions. They would talk together as a whole group and other times Elara would only talk to Lancelot and Tristan, both together and separately. The other two disappeared more and more often, possibly not liking the cooped up conditions I was slightly more used to. I found myself keeping to myself a lot more as well though most of the time unintentionally so. However, when I disappeared, it was mainly to somewhere open yet familiar where I could think out loud if I wanted to.

            I hated feeling the deep knowledge of having to be on the run and stay in hiding until the time was right. Whatever Elara said to me had a different meaning to her than it did to me. It was beyond me to try and think as she could though I did listen if she wanted to tell me something. The days were rather bleak and the overall mood of my visitors was foreboding and dismal. I was currently sat on one of the stones to Stonehenge, absentmindedly picking at the longer blades of grass as they swished in the wind. I kept coming to the conclusion that there was more I could do than I actually was and maybe I should do that yet run the risk of causing more problems and making things worse.

            ‘Hmph,’ I huffed and decided to go for a stroll down the hill. I did not get far when I was met by a squawking crow sat on a birch branch.

            ‘You should not spend so much time on your own,’ Justin said once he had transformed to his human self.

            ‘It does not matter where I am, so being either here or home makes little difference,’ I told him.

            ‘I am sure that is not true.’

            Giving him a short glance, I pulled my cloak around my body as the wind picked up. ‘There is nothing I can say or do to make anything change. This bad weather isn’t helping either.’

            He gave a chuckle. ‘Now you just sound like Merlin.’

            ‘Hmm, well he won’t help with this one.’

            ‘Have you asked him?’

            ‘You know I don’t need to ask to know. There is not much that will get him to interfere. This is Elara’s battle, not Arthur’s.’

            Justin frowned over what I had just said. ‘And what has that got to do with anything?’

            Nearly everyone who had anything to do with Arthur or Merlin knew the shared past between them and what went on; though no one knew the full story completely yet enough to understand. ‘Elara is not his responsibility.’

            ‘And she isn’t yours either. We both know that she can take care of herself but that doesn’t mean you should stop being by her side.’

            ‘I just don’t want to be in her way.’

            ‘I can understand and I guess this has been hard on you too. Just as long as she knows you aren’t ignoring her.’ As a close friend, I knew he meant well even though what he said might have hurt a little bit.

*****

Elara’s PoV

            It had been a long time since I just sat with Delrand, or so it seemed to have been a long time. I am not entirely sure how long we had been here now since escaping Camelot and the ironic part for me was that we now had to, somehow, fight our way back in. None of that mattered right now; all we spoke about was stuff in the past and nothing of the future. It was peaceful for once, compared to the recent past everything was so calming and we shared a few more tricks between ourselves. It had also occurred to me that most of the time I spent awake was at night time; if I was awake in the day, I would ride around into the wilderness to escape any confrontations with my friends. Delrand was still as fascinated by the light spheres I could make and though he tried his hardest, his still did not seem to match mine in brilliance.

            ‘Ah well,’ he said after a few more attempts. ‘I prefer to watch you make them.’

            Pretending it was a request, I formed another up in midair and made it rotate around us a couple of times. ‘But it is just a trifle thing to do.’

            ‘How do you mean?’

            I smiled pertly as I looked down at my lap (we were sat on the grass near to the house). ‘I mean compared to what else I can do.’

            ‘Hey, we weren’t going to mention any of that here,’ he reminded me, softly turning my head to face him. ‘At least you know now. Entirely, I mean.’

            ‘It still scares me.’

            ‘You get used to it, I promise,’ he swore, putting his left hand over his heart. With a shared smile, I leant over and kissed his lips before leaning into his side with a short sigh. ‘Though I still feel your pain, it is only in the smallest amounts.’ That was when he turned our conversation to the present predicaments we were facing. ‘I have no idea what you must be going through.’

            I chuckled once and allowed myself a hidden smile. ‘And yet you are not as good at hiding your own as you might think.’

            ‘What do you mean?’ he asked, pulling away as though I was about to shout.

            ‘You have been ignoring me lately and I know it is not all because you want to give me some space. And I will not believe it is because you just need to think.’ I knew most of it was him just trying to let me run through my own grief in my own time and though I really hated to be alone, I could still tell he had his own grief to deal with.

            ‘My loss is nothing compared to yours. There is no way I can compare it and I will not try.’

            It had been long enough since my father was taken from me that I was well aware of how lucky I was to what could have happened. ‘We both have family left and both close too. And still, we could have lost a lot more than what we have.’ What I said must have hurt him; he furrowed his eyebrows before walking away from me. Not only did I feel utterly guilty, I did not know how much I should go after him, if at all. I decided to wait for a moment. ‘I’m sorry. I should not have said that,’ I apologised, hoping he would stop.

            ‘It’s just that I have lost brothers too. I don’t understand how you seem to find it so much easier than me.’

            ‘Just because I hardly cry now does not mean I find it any easier. I have just learnt to accept it more. Soon I hope I am strong enough again that we can make a move.’

            For some reason, that seemed to help for the time being as he seemed to like hearing me saying that. Maybe it was because he hated to think I was getting used to this seclusion and it might start to change me. I smiled back just as softly and warmly to him then took his hand and played my fingers between his. ‘I have a funny feeling that you might have a plan.’

            I grinned rather childishly; I did indeed have the pieces of a plan forming in my head having spoken to Lancelot earlier that day. It was not much to go but then again I did not always need to make any sort of plans in the past. Patrols and such I had usually left in the capable hands of my trusted knights and most of the problems to my father to sort. I was very much out of my comfort zones with all this organising and everything mixed up in my head made me so tired that I could barely wake up any time before midday. I did not enjoy being this way either and it was as though my head just blew out for hours. ‘I will show you. Come.’ And I half-dragged him back to the house.

*****

            Perhaps we should not have waited for so long yet it could also be a good thing to my enemies if we remained hidden for long enough. I tightened the buckles on Rose’s saddle and bridle; it is not so hard for me anymore to will something from one place to another. Rose twitched as my fingers brushed over her neck as though she knew just by touch that there was something big about to happen. I tried with difficulty to quieten my mind but I eventually felt the help I was receiving in the distance of my thoughts. I led Rose around to the front of the house where the others waited. Bors and Gawain were already saddled; neither of them smiled though held their heads low on their shoulders. Lancelot stood with his horse’s reins in his hands; he was very still and stared at me with a solemn gaze. Tristan also stood next to his steed and rubbed its snout and neck.

            ‘I will not make you come with me,’ I said to them all. ‘You know this.’

            They each nodded in turn before Tristan spoke for them all. ‘And you know that we cannot let you go on your own.’

            I allowed myself a small smile. ‘Yes, but I am not alone.’

            ‘Not now, if that is what you mean.’

            We each mounted onto our horses and trotted across towards the hills and beyond to the nearest towns. Since I had always assumed the house sat in the middle of open land, I had never asked how close Delrand and his friends were to any sort of settlement; that being so, I was rather surprised with how little time had passed before we came across a town. I stopped and looked down at the ground to my right. I was not sure what to do next. I had to be brave and also wise as far as whatever knowledge I had would let me.

            ‘Is Delrand not joining us?’ Lancelot asked.

            I turned to him. ‘In a way, yes, but from a distance.’

            ‘And what does that mean?’

            ‘It should not matter. All that you need to know is that he is about somewhere.’

            ‘Shouldn’t we get going then?’ Bors asked, already making his way towards the town.

            Both Lancelot and I looked at him in subtle shock. ‘So impatient, Bors.’ He did not answer but continued on at a hastened trot. With a short chuckle, I soon followed as Gawain joined him in front. Unfortunately, Bors had a rather unusual way of getting attention; he stormed right into the middle of the town shouting for all to hear. It would have been impressive if he had not done it in such a way that the townsfolk were ready to run and hide. I allowed him a few minutes of wheeling his horse in circles before interrupting his introduction of us. ‘That is enough, Bors. We have not come here to frighten them.’ I knew the people would not know who I was or, at least, it might take them awhile. Although I was not sure where this town was exactly, I did not care since we would be visiting as many as we can.

            ‘Who are you to come here and order us around?’ questioned one tall yet stocky man.

            I did not have time to answer before Gawain spoke out for me. Although what he said made me smile and fill with pride, I could not recall what he said; just as he began to speak to the town, the crowing of a raven sounded in my ears. It was perched on the thatched roof of a small house. I knew all too well from the glint in its eyes who it really was. There was a sudden surge of awe and silence about me as the words Gawain had said were allowed to seep into the minds of the people. ‘Hmm, yes. Thank you, Gawain.’ I dismounted, much to the stubbornness of my friends, and stepped into the open square. ‘As word might have already spread, we have been invaded. By Saxons.’ I began to walk in a wide circle. ‘They have taken Camelot and my home. And if we do not do something soon, they will soon take the rest of our lands.’

            What are you doing? Delrand said to me and his confusion ran through his words.

            You will see. ‘I am not here to force anyone against their will. Yet, as you can see, my men are few in number.’ I was not sure but I thought I heard Bors chuckling behind me. ‘If we fight together we will be stronger. Our enemies expect your allegiance to sway towards them so easily.’

            ‘And should we trust you to be who you say you are? Who your men say you are?’ Once again looking at the man, I noticed he carried a pitchfork.

            ‘Only knights such as these four men would risk their own lives to save that of someone like me. Even though I did not wish it, I have lost two of my brothers-in-arms in one battle and my own father; they will follow me to whatever end befalls them.’

            ‘How can we be sure of that?’ Although the words he said included the rest of the town, I knew that all he wanted was to settle his own uncertainties.

            I glanced up and stared into his eyes. ‘Then try to kill me.’ His eyes narrowed as though I were trying to trick him. ‘Come, I will not stop you.’ I turned to face him and held my hands away from the hilt of my sword. The man did eventually step forward but not with any sense of purpose. The raven crowed twice and rather loudly. Before the metal tips of the pitchfork could touch my skin, it was forced aside by the flash of a sword. ‘No, Lancelot. Let him go.’ He had grabbed the frightened man by the scruff of the neck. ‘Forgive him, he does not always know how far to go.’ Lancelot quickly released the man, sheathed his sword and stepped to one side.

            I understand but why are you acting so foolishly?

            This is not foolishness, Delrand. I have to prove myself somehow and to prove who I am. There are many tests for someone like me and a lot of them I will come across on this journey. Just as long as I have my friends with me.

            There was a rustle as he landed on my right shoulder and played with my hair in his beak. Am I not more than a friend?

            ‘Of course you are,’ I said out loud to him, forgetting where I was. With a pert cough, I turned back to my people. ‘You may join me as you wish. No one will force you to do what you do not want.’ I went to walk away; we would be camping just outside of the town.

            ‘Is that all, Highness?’ Bors asked and just as loudly as before.

            ‘Yes, Bors. Come, we must let them decide for themselves.’ Of course, in my mind, I would not like for any woman to join us on our journey to battle yet if there were any that insisted they come along then I would not insult their own judgements. We moved out and I was soon laid out on the green grass of a field.

            ‘What is your plan now?’ Tristan asked.

            ‘We shall give them a day. As we will with each place we visit. A man cannot decide if he should abandon his family and home so easily.’

            ‘But for the sake of their homeland?’

            I did not answer him. Even I was not sure what such a burden this would be to any common folk. ‘Let’s just wait and see.’