Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Shack,
Not a Grunkle was stirring, not even a hack.

   The stockings were hung by the register with care,
In hopes that some cash soon would be there.

   The children were sleeping, all snug in the attic,
With visions of sugar pups and dolphins erratic.

   Wax Larry King's in the vents, just a small head,
Waddles was sleeping, at the edge of her bed.

   When out of the basement, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

   Away to the kitchen, I flew like a flash,
Was in such a hurry, I knocked over the trash.

   Something outside was soon overheard,
I peeked out the door and saw just a bird.

   I turned left and right to see what was near,
When a cough from below came to my ear.

    Was a miniature man, all dressed in blue,
With hair that looked held together by glue.

   He came with a warning, a message so bold,
The shack would be his, it had been foretold.

   Gathering forces with purpose, all through the while,
The child was showing a sinister smile.

   Through the dark forest, shadows started to creep,
It was time for their vengeance, when all others sleep.

   Out first was the gnomes who moved like a flock,
Jeff, Steve, Jason, Carson, and Shmebulock.

   In with a flash was a man of strange attire,
Blendin, his name, his shoulder on fire.

   A puddle of wax began to take shape,
Morphed into a figure so full of hate.

   The army was small, but seemed quite able,
What could be done to protect Dipper and Mabel?

   In a moment of silence,  they all stared me down,
I knew it was then,  they thought I a clown.

   In my green cotton shirt and brown leather hat,
Armed with a shovel, I gave it a pat.

   I swung at the gnomes, who attacked all as one,
The little blue man laughed, having his fun.

   The strange man charged, with a ruler in hand,
Suddenly, he vanished, I did not understand.

   Vastly outnumbered, I needed a plan,
I tried to think quickly, as best someone can.

   Dodging wax bullets, I was hit from behind,
Was the crazy space man, who slipped out of mind.

   Being surrounded, I thought I was screwed,
Knowing it's over, all I said was, "Dude."

   The child approached, sneering with glee,
"Now the shack belongs to lil' ol' me!"

   I stared in his face, his souless blue eyes,
Before it was over, I stared at the skies.

   I awoke in my bed, it was all but a dream
Must have been all that candy I ate last Summerween.

   I checked on the kids, still asleep in their bed,
A sigh of relief escaped from my head.

   I whispered to them, overwhelmed with delight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!