Chapter 44

"I'd think you'd want to go defend your coven now that you know your father's not a complete asshole."

He nodded. "Had I a choice I would be in my own territory, watching over my own people, but forcing you to travel so great a distance in your condition would not be wise and I refuse to leave you here while my brother has set his eyes on you with ill intentions." Rien explained.

"Why not just give him the coven if he wants it? You said it yourself; you're not interested."

Rien shook his head. "Kandane would drive my home into the ground. It is true what father says: he is no leader."

I watched him for a while and in turn, he watched me. "So what happens now?"

"Now we wait for his attack. We are prepared, The wolves are now standing guard, the hunters have already readied their weapons, the blood-drinkers who accompanied me here are in position and as we speak, another wolf pack; friends of this camp's Alpha, enter these gates."

I shifted on the bed, trying to dislodge the discomfort I felt in my shoulder. "Shouldn't you be out there with them?"

"I will be." He said. "But for now I wish to sit in your presence."

I shivered when the sound of howls rent the air, so loud and so real that I felt the goosebumps rise on my skin. "What going on down there?"

Rien cocked his head to the side and smiled. "The Alpha is quite the orator. He has completed his speech and it has motivated his pack."

"Shouldn't you be doing the same with your own group of bloodsuckers?" I asked with a grin and he nodded.

"Perhaps."

I shook my head. "What do you think your chances are?"

"Why must we speak of war? Let us speak of other things."

I frowned. "Maybe because any minute now your crazy big brother might drop a bomb on us."

Rien seemed to consider this. "He will not use weapons. He has always preferred brute force over any manmade aids."

"Stop avoiding my question."

"Then stop asking it." He countered and this time when my frown deepened, he stood and came to sit beside me in bed, boots, fighting robes and all.

"That bad huh?"

"I have no way of knowing the outcome of the upcoming battle."

"No, but you must have some idea. You know your brother and you know the resources we have available to us, so let's just cut the bullshit...please."

For a long time he said nothing, then; "Kandane is cunning."

"So are you."

"Well then I suppose we shall have to wait and see who arises the victor."

I shifted slightly so I could watch his expression.

"You're usually more confident than this."

Once again he smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Many things have occurred lately which have made me rethink my future and my own mortality. You could say I am more careful now."

"Like what?"

"Such as watching you lay on your deathbed while I could do nothing but stand and watch." He said. "It has taken its toll."

"Your brother said you cried."

"I was grief-stricken" Was all he said and I didn't push it.

"I heard a lot you know." I told him. "There were times when the pain became bearable and I could hear your conversations; like the things you said to Malik...the things he said to you."

He took my hand in his and squeezed gently. "You need not trouble yourself with things that were said in your absence. You are now well and they do not matter."

"But they do...don't you get it?" I pulled away. "Nothing you've said in these since you took me from the army had as much effect on me as what I heard when I was asleep."

He frowned.

"I guess it's just that I've never heard you sound so passionate about anything before. It made me realize just how much you care."

"Is that all it took? Words spoken in the heat of a passionate quarrel? Had I known, you would have been in my arms since the day I plucked you from that battlefield." He teased, a small smile playing about his lips.

I shook my head, then leaned back against the bed head with a satisfied smile.

"Am I crazy to hope that this will actually work out the second time around?"

"Perhaps." He said and I nudged him "But I would not dwell on it too much."

I chuckled. "Is that really your way of convincing me that we're doing the right thing here?"

When he looked at me he was serious. "I cannot say what is in our future, perhaps this will in fact end in disaster." He explained. "But it will not be because I did not do everything in my power to sustain us. Each day I will strive to make you happy and each night I shall watch over you and keep you safe, because my love for you will not allow me to do otherwise."

I reached up with my good arm and ran a finger down the side of his face. His serious expression all but melted and he was left staring at me like a man who had just won a prize.

"Maybe we could start off this new chapter in our lives with a bang then." I grinned and he nodded slowly in contemplation.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I grinned up at him as I ran a finger along his arm. "Like I said...a bang."

As soon as the words left my mouth he frowned and his gentle eyes grew serious. "Do not be ridiculous Tony." He said pulling away and this time it was my turn to frown.

"How is that ridiculous? Since when do you turn down a chance to fuc—"

"You are unwell. Now is not the time."

I cursed "Don't start with this bullshit. I'm here, I'm ready and I'm perfectly capable of—"

"Perhaps when you are feeling well once more."

"I'm feeling fine." I told him, but this time he only smiled before reaching out to give my cheek a gentle pat.

"Another time." He said like I was some kind of misbehaving little kid and I slapped his hand away and pushed the covers off me in my attempt to get off the bed.

"Fine, you stay here and be a good little saint. Maybe I can go talk one of those wolf friends of yours into having a little fun." I told him "Something tells me they would be happy to oblige." I said, not meaning one word that came out of my mouth in my anger.

I'd always hated how he treated me like I was some pathetic, useless child. I felt his hand wrap around my arm just as my feet touched the ground; "You will do no such thing."

"Then for once in your life, stop trying to protect me and give me what I want." I said, tugging at my trapped arm, but his eyes only narrowed.

"Take your proposal to anyone within these walls and I will break his neck myself." He said in all seriousness.

"Are you sure you've changed? Because all I see is that same violent, controlling bloodsucker you've always been."

For a while we only sat glaring at each other; his fingers biting into my arm and my mouth set in a hard line. Neither of us budged or said a word. It was a battle of wills, but the moment he looked away, I knew I had won.

"Why must we constantly quarrel?" he asked; his tone lowered in defeat.

"As long as you keep treating me like I can't make my own decisions, we'll never stop." I told him honestly and it was only then that he released me.

"Then go ahead and find a substitute." He gestured to the door and I deflated.

"You know that's not what I want." I said softly and he reached up and cupped my face.

"I know." He said as he leaned in and kissed me. It was a gentle touch of lips, but filled with sweetness and passion and I felt it with my entire body. When I pressed closer to him, needing the contact only his body could provide, he pulled away and left me wanting.

"When you are well." He repeated and I sighed, falling back onto the pillows with a frown, then a wince.

"Would you like a pain reliever?" he asked with a frown and I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I said, then; "What if this is our last night together? You could go out there and never come back."

"If I am to perish in battle then it will come to be, but it will not be because I did not fight with my last drop of strength and cunning to arise the victor." He said seriously, his sharp eyes blazing with passion.

"That still doesn't answer my question though, does it?" I said. "I lost you for five years, now that we have the chance to start over..." I trailed off.

"If I die, then it will be knowing that I have the love of someone like you and I will be grateful."

I shook my head. "If you die I'll be miserable. What if we just took off?" I asked. "You and me, right now. We could run where they couldn't find us and we'd be free to live the life we started so long ago."

He brushed at the lock of hair that had fallen over my forehead. "You are no coward Tony. Neither am I.

"If wanting us to live long enough to really be happy makes me a coward then I'll gladly take the title because I don't care Rien." I retorted.

He said nothing.

"Let's just go. It won't matter what running makes us. Let's just be happy." I said. "After all this time, we deserve that."

"I will not run." He said adamantly and I took his hand in mine.

"Rien." I said, but he refused to budge.

"RiRi." I tried again softly, and this time he looked at me. His eyes had gentled, but I could see that he'd already made his decision.

We wouldn't be running, but if he was going to fight, then so would I.

I reached up, latched on to his hair and pulled him down onto me, where I wrapped my arms around him nice and tight, all the while regretting all the time I'd already wasted since he'd come back for me.

I was a damn fool.

........................................................

~Years prior~

~Rien~

"What do you mean you killed your mother?" Tony asked, eyes wide with surprise. I looked away from him and out at the tops of the trees in the distance. In my arms, Tony was silent as he awaited my answer, but I could feel the anxiousness in his gaze as he watched me. For a moment I wondered if he would think ill of me once I had told him my tale and I reached up to run my fingers through his soft hair.

"I never professed to being a saint Tony."

He frowned up at me "But what do you mean killed? Like ripped her throat out killed? Or figuratively killed?"

I almost smiled. "Is there a way to kill in a figurative sense?" I asked him with ill-contained amusement and he shrugged in frustration.

"I don't know, I'm just trying to understand what you're saying."

I thought of how crazy it was that the birds had been chirping away only moments before, yet as soon as the sordid tale of my ultimate betrayal made its way into the conversation, they had all but quieted their squalling. The universe was against me; I thought up the words of a human I had once come upon in my travels decades ago. At the time I had thought he had a disease of the mind; uttering whatever senselessness that fell upon his tongue, but as I thought of my own circumstance I wondered if perhaps he had been just in his reasoning.

The universe was against me indeed if it had gone as far as to put a muzzle on nature just so that my misdeeds could be heard.

"I adored my mother." I told him and he nodded quickly; his wide, trusting eyes fixed upon my face. His expression told me I could do no wrong. "As did my brothers; Peitre, Jorlon and of course Marcan. We loved her, we worshipped her. She was our pillar; the paste that held us all together and kept us at our happiest. She would have liked you I think." I told him and he grinned.

"I think I would have too" he confessed and it was my turn to offer him a small smile.

"I did not realize the great impact she had on our lives until I knelt by her mangled corpse with her blood on my hands." I recounted. "It had not been until that moment that I was able to understand how true sorrow felt and how I was the soul who had brought it upon my brothers' lives."

"What happened?"

"My mother and father had been betrothed since birth." I explained to him "When I was a fledgling I thought theirs had been a ceremony of love, but once I grew into myself, I came to learn that there was no love lost between them. You see, my mother was happy to bear his children for she loved young ones and he was happy to father a line of heirs, but that was the extent of their union."

"Sounds kind of depressing." Tony commented and I nodded. 

"It would seem that way to human beings such as yourself, but in our coven that is the norm. Many mates do not know the love we share." I told him and his face grew red.

"As the years progressed, my father trained us to be warriors, while our mother showered all her love upon us. She would tell us stories of her youth, dance with us under the stars, shield us from our father's wrath and comfort us when we were unhappy. She loved us, but as time passed and unknown to us, she met another; a noble lord from a coven not far from my own. They grew close and she fell in love."

"Then what?" Tony questioned; his eagerness as clear as the day.

"Then my father learned of the news. He had his sources and from them, he came to know her comings and goings. He did not love her himself, but he could not stand the thought of another caring for her and he was filled with rage."

"What did he do?"

"He ranted and he raved and he grew irritable." I told him and Tony frowned.

"So he killed her." He surmised.

"No. You see, as much as my mother doted on and sheltered us, there was one child she had borne who had never cared for her. He found that he could not love her as we did. Instead he loved our father. He shared our father's beliefs and he looked up to him as only a young fledgling could look up to his hero."

"You mean her first child? The one you told me about. What's his name again?"

"Kandane." I nodded. "Yes. He would have done anything for our father and like my father, he believed our mother was weak and he despised her for it." I told him. "When he too learned of her indiscretions he grew angered, and fueled by our father's rage, he lost control."

"What do you mean he lost control?"

I tore my gaze from his and looked again across the tops of the trees. They were lush and green; ready to bear fruit.

"He tricked her." I told my love. "One late night he lured her away, deep into the trees surrounding our coven with tales of a new beginning. He told her he wished for them to come to know each other as mother and son, and being the woman she was, she craved it. She would never turn down the opportunity to make amends with her child and so she went with him."

"I think I have an idea where this is going."

I nodded, though my mind was far away. "When I came upon them, it was to witness a heated argument. I stood, I watched and I listened and even as I watched my brother attack her, I did nothing." I said. "I knew she would not fight back, for he was her child and she would never hurt her children and still I did nothing. I think I feared the repercussions of interrupting their quarrel. After all, I looked up to my brother and I did not wish him to hate me."

"That's understandable." Tony sought to comfort me and I pulled him closer; wrapping my arms more securely around his small frame.

"At the time I had not expected him to truly hurt her, so when he ripped her very head from her body, I was horrified. I ran to her fallen carcass and I can remember how her blood has soaked my hands and my robes. That was how my brothers found me that night. Kandane of course had fled the scene, but I remember feeling numb and heartbroken as my brothers accused me of something I could not even conceive at the time."

"So you didn't kill her. It was your asshole of a brother, so why are you beating yourself up over it.?" Tony questioned in obvious confusion.

"Very soon the entire coven believed that it was I who had slaughtered her. Father thanked me for it. He called my alleged actions the ultimate act of loyalty. He praised me for murdering a woman I adored and Kandane despised me for receiving father's attention. "

"That still doesn't answer my question though Rien."

"Don't you see Tony?" I asked "What I did...standing there like a coward while my own mother was cut down like an animal made me no less guilty than he. I may well be called a murderer, for my actions make me nothing less. My inaction made me her killer; as much as Kandane's actions did and I have accepted that."

"But...But your brothers think you actually did it, don't you want to let them know the truth?"

"What I say to them will make no difference. I am guilty, whether I delivered that fatal blow or not."

He shook his head vehemently. "You're not the one to blame RiRi. You're innocent, you're good and your brothers sh—"

"I was a coward then." I interrupted him. "But no more...and never again."

................................................

~Present~

~Tony~

The moment Rien stiffened and jerked upright and out of my arms, I knew something was wrong. I watched him as he cocked his head to the side; his attention no longer in the room and a moment later the bedroom door burst open and Kaio bolted in with Malik not far behind.

"My Lord!" he called; his face a mirror of clear distress and I knew without asking what it meant.

Rien was out of bed in an instant and sitting up, I watched as he crossed the room, parted the curtain ever so lightly so he could look out into the yard, before he let it fall again and turned to look at me with regret-filled eyes.

"It's time isn't it?" I asked, knowing the answer even as I did, but it was his nod that sent the anxiousness roiling through my body.

I flinched when I heard a chorus of howls rent the air and felt an almost overpowering need to cover my ears to block out the sounds, because these howls were nothing like they had been earlier. These howls were vicious and bloodthirsty.

Rien crossed the room and took hold of my face just as I made to get out of bed and when he kissed me, I felt all the love and desperation on his lips, before he pulled away just as quickly.

He turned to Kaio before I could get a word in and I watched their silent exchange breathlessly.

"Rien." I called out and he glanced my way again.

"The war has begun my love." He said. "S'agapo." And without another word he crossed the room and was out the door.

When I hopped from the bed, intent to go after him, Kaio stepped into my path and from the determined glint in his eyes I knew one thing; I wouldn't be leaving this room.

                                                                AUTHOR'S NOTES

THANKS FOR READING!

ENJOY.

-DoUbLe.A

-unedited.