– T A Y A H –

The portal dumped me unceremoniously onto a shore.

I coughed out a mouthful of sand and glared back at the bright light that vanished like a mirage.

"My thanks, Odin." I muttered, getting carefully to my feet. That was until I felt and heard the surge of power above me again and a male shout sounded before two buffoons landed heavily on top of me.

"–IN THE FLYING ASS!"

"Kaden?" I demanded in shock.

John swore colourfully on top of me before glancing below him. "Gods, Tayah if you wanted me that badly you need not–"

"I didn't do this you buffoon!" I shouted, pushing them off me and rolling back into the wet sand. I stared around us briefly and felt the heat of a southern continent.

"What in the whore is going on?" Kaden grunted, dusting sand off his leathers.

"Apparently a God has exiled me with my buffoons." I muttered.

They both looked at me quickly. Then their expressions broke into excited grins.

"You were kicked out of God's little immortal elite so soon?" John demanded, loving this far more than I could have begun to think–

"That's not quite–"

"This is why you shouldn't fraternise with the enemy, Tayah." Kaden told me sombrely. "Leave them in their beds and onto the next–"

"You haven't experienced any next woman!" John interrupted with a scoff.

I cracked a bright ball of flame into my fist before waving it at them. They flinched backwards in shock and confusion.

"I'm still immortal you heathens. I just... lost my stay on the immortal realm." I murmured, glancing down the beach. They seemed to consider this a moment before John shrugged and quickly got over the fact.

"As far as I'm concerned it's good news and we can get back to what we were before this madness."

Kaden nodded and slapped a hand against John's shoulder sending him into the sand. He sent a kick back and Kaden dismissed it with a large arm.

"What of the blonde?" John demanded, through a mouthful of sand.

I didn't answer him. A gaping hole was ripped out inside my chest and I knew it didn't take the men long to realise she would not be joining us. Kaden dipped his head and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I am sorry for the loss, little Ashrive." He offered in a low tone.

John too got to his feet and gave me a long look. He pulled his dark hair from his eyes and nodded.

"Apart from the death in her every stare... she made you happy and I am also sorry you lost it." He murmured near me.

I blew out a breath and pushed a hand through my hair, looking out to the sea before back to the long rocky shore. These thoughts weren't for now. They would be locked for a darker moment when I could steal myself away from them and unleash a lot more than sadness on the landscape around me. She would never not be a presence in my mind.

But knowing she was alive. It was not impossible–not like it was if she had died that night.

"If you women are done nursing me over your bosoms I'd like to find a shelter in this crap hole." I deadpanned, raised an arm around us.

Kaden snorted and joined my appraisal.

"This doesn't feel like Uccelon shores." John noted. "But I can swindle a man on any continent and that tree can scare them off."

Kaden gave a low laugh. "Let them try to fight the immortal."

I rolled my eyes and pushed him lightly before glancing at my hips. Two damandium blades and riding leathers. I looked over the men and saw that John was in fact in a light shirt and shoeless and Kaden wore nothing but wool trousers.

"What exactly were you two doing before Odin took you?" I demanded.

"Fighting"

"Gambling"

They answered at once. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Let me guess. You lost our coin and you beat a man to a pulp without time to collect." I summarised.

John sniffed and Kaden spat on the ground. "I lost my shoes too." John admitted.

Kaden giggled like a child and I glared them both down. "How do you gamble shoes?"

"I was confident–"

"You're both dead to me." I muttered, turning and walking down the beach.

They both caught up to me easily with insufferable laughs. John slung an arm over my shoulder as we walked. "That's a nice new garment you found." Kaden grunted, eying the rich red cloak over my shoulders. I ignored him and drew my hood over my eyes.

"Think of it this way, Tayah. A fresh start." He said grandiosely stretching an arm wide. "Just as it was before–you can take your mind off that immortal with an easy trip to a whore–"

I ducked under his arm and threw him to the ground with half a thought. Fire was already ripping into my hand and aimed at him while his eyes went wide. My entire cloak burned around me at the sudden change of energy in the air.

"If you finish that sentence, John. I will not hold back." I growled down at him. "If we are going to make this work. You do not. Speak of her. Ever." I finished slowly, glancing up at Kaden too.

He nodded his head quickly and raised his hands. They also quickly eyed the growing flames sat on my shoulders in disbelief. 

"Alright! Gods Tayah roast our dinner not my face–"

I tightened my fist and flung it at the rock face near us instead. It exploded and sent rocks tumbling down against the beach. Wordlessly I stomped off away from them and somewhere that I wouldn't start taking it all out on my closest buffoons.

Kaden muttered something about women that almost made me turn around. But they knew when not to push me even before I was immortal. I just had to hope I could handle the rage that felt like it would burn everything around me. The uncontrolled feeling that nothing made sense anymore and my reason for being here was far away–hurt and betrayed–maybe even feeling the same undiluted rage.

I had no choice. It wasn't fair. None of it was.

Leave her or kill her? What kind of god damn option was that?! Eternal misery or eternal endless misery... I kicked rock and cursed loudly. I glared down at it like it was Anselle's head.

I sent a stream of fire into it brightly. The sand blackened and the rock went bright red under the fire until it cracked loudly. I wished it was her head.

"Fuck." I muttered, taking off towards the tree line past the rocks.

"Tayah!" I heard Kaden call out behind. I sincerely needed all my patience.

"You forgot your–glowing shield!" John finished behind me.

I increased my pace to the trees. That damn shield was the reason I was even on the mortal realm in the first place. The god damn reason I took Kára's focus off Anselle in the first damn place. I snarled to myself as their voices grew more distant.

How could two beings be doomed just by proximity? If the fates wanted her life for my own why not pick her off at any opportunity? He can't hide her away on the immortal realm forever–not while she knew I was here... she'd never stop looking. Because I would rip apart every rock if it were reversed. She was just as stubborn as I was and half answers wouldn't satisfy me.

I dropped into the shadows of the palms and brush with aggression. I felt so. Angry. 

Like our love had been stolen in a single gods damned day. My hands burned brightly again and burned any leaf unfortunate enough to brush them.

Odin knew. Knew what we were to each other. Knew her past and my own and still let this happen. Kept us together only to split us apart in the most agonising way possible. It very almost made me see Anselle's point of view–if not for a split moment.

This god that controlled Valkyries with their immense power like pawns. Why could I not forge my own fate. I didn't care about the damn immortality if it wasn't spent with her.

I shouted suddenly into the canopy above and scared off several birds. My cloak was alight with flames and I dropped into crouch. I placed my hands on the leafy floor and let them burn. The green turned to black and ash in a blink and expanded around me for many feet. I stared at it. The way it died.

It was an agreeable image of what my heart held. No life. Just ruin. It took a few more slithers to raise my hands again and stop it all from dying around me. The plant life didn't deserve my wrath just as Kára didn't deserve to die that night. Why did the price have to be so damn steep?

I sighed and laid back in the blackened ash. It stained my hands and back but I didn't care.

I looked up at the palm leaves drifting in the breeze. A blue sky unaffected by my turmoil. Not the way it would be if Kára and her endless thunder was present. I couldn't even muster a smile. It felt false without her.

This immortality was a curse.

Endless amounts of time without her? I wouldn't be able to live through it. I was permanently altered. Perhaps I could seal the deal with the god and ask for my mortality again. At least I wouldn't have to watch John and Kaden die of age around me. But I didn't call on Odin. I couldn't. It was the ultimate betrayal to my Valkyrie. Giving myself back totally to the mortal realm only to die without her having a final word to me was the same as letting her die.

I slowly drew my arms up around me and let them draw down, moving the black ash around me.

Then there was the one thing I hadn't considered. The one way she had contacted me when I was oceans away on a ship. My dreams. The one place unrestricted to a Valkyrie–apart from now I was one. My shoulders fell. Was it still possible? A Valkyrie entering a Valkyrie's dreams?

I would find out at some point. When my mind calmed enough for sleep... but I couldn't imagine facing her. Even if it were possible.

"Hi Kára, sorry I got you killed, brought you back and then vanished from you forever!" I told the trees above me. A bird squarked in response and I frowned.

"It wasn't my fault! I couldn't see you die!" I growled at the bird.

It flew off into the trees and I slapped a hand against my face.

"As much as you wish it. The bird doesn't understand." A series of voices spoke suddenly.

I flew up to my feet and whirled on the tall cloak of smoke and darkness. I swallowed and shook the ash from my clothing. I probably looked like I cleaned chimneys for coin.

The god was silent.

I had nothing to say back. The silence was so deafening but I wouldn't be the one to fill it. Not this time.

"She is safely in Valhalla." The voices suddenly spoke.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I held and nodded.

"I know you hold anger for me, Tayah Ashrive. It is warranted."

I continued to stare at the shadows before shrugging non committed. All the anger seemed to drain away into a place that held no emotion at all now.

"You saved her life." I said barely a whisper. "What else can I ask for."

"She doesn't agree with that."

"You told her?" I demanded, staring down the darkness like I was the taller one.

"I would not lie." They answered plainly. "She is already plotting her next moves to destroy Anselle and Revna."

"Is that a surprise?" I scoffed, kicking a plume of ash into the air.

"Her rage is even more endless than yours. Her task will not take long. But her revenge is more eager because she believes it will result in getting back to you. I will not allow it." The god said plainly.

I chuckled, surprising myself. Odin watched silently.

"Good luck telling her that."

"Indeed. Her knowing that your partnership results in her death does not concern her in the slightest. But it should. As you know, Tayah she is one of the few original Valkyries left."

"So?" I demanded, like an angry child.

"Her work. Her power. Has held balance in the realm of mortals for longer than you could know. Mortals would have long ago destroyed themselves without her–as they will in future without her to stop it."

"And of course you cannot let that balance fall." I muttered, dropping my head to the forest floor and wishing it would consume me.

"I was never going to let her die." The god spoke clearly making me raise my eyes. "I kept you together as long as possible but I knew the time would come. As it always does."

For some reason this made me angrier than anything else he could have possibly said.

"So you take away her freedom to choose?" I demanded. "Just because of her power? Has it not occurred to you that she would trade it in a second!" I shouted, feeling the fire in me grow again.

But the god was unbothered, almost expectant. I cursed and turned away. Its endless calm and timeless bullshit was going to send me further into a cloud red.

"Tayah."

I kept my back to the god and tried to measure my breathing.

"I know what she feels. But are you prepared to let the mortal realm burn just to have her for yourself? For whatever limited time remains?"

Yes.

"You know I wouldn't do that." I whispered. I thought of John and Kaden's faces. Then of the many more innocent lives we'd touched.

"I do." The god said in many voices. "Which is why the cards have fallen as they have. I hope you see that one day." He finished quietly.

"What if she wasn't immortal?" I asked quietly.

"What are you truly asking." The god spoke clearly behind me.

I turned around slowly. "I'm asking... what if we were both mortal? Let things take their natural course. Whatever doom comes our way would be of our own making."

"Then Valhalla would lose four immortals and the realm would suffer for centuries." He answered as if discussing the colour of grass.

"But we would be happy." I whispered, dropping my eyes.

Odin was silent. The blackest smoke of the cloak stood with nothing to indicate he even considered my words. My selfish and damning words. I thought the silence would cut me in half. I thought he may even take my immortality there and then for my audacity. I sighed and closed my eyes ready to accept that it was not how things would work.

But when I was finally ready to answer for everything. The shadows were gone. 

Leaving me alone in the trees, surrounded by ash.