Hello, lovelies...

So a new teaser is out now!

If you haven't checked it yet. Go to my Youtube channel @Only_Rusert  or you can check out my Instagram profile with the same name.

https://youtu.be/SWVa3HAdhAc

Okay, enjoy now.....

***********************************************************************************************

MIRA'S POV:

Whatever I was afraid of all these months, being with him, has already begun to happen... This is why I never liked attaching myself to someone. It has always turned out wrong. Something out of my control. I have warned him, this could lead us to something dangerous. Either I or he will get caught up in a muddle that we can't come out of quick enough or it will ruin us. But he chose to stay. And see what happened!

The car ride was awkwardly silent. Tom tried to stay as much as he could be, in his professionalism. But I couldn't forget what happened. Nina was angry, and Mike and Alex had a fight, that brought out Valeria into the light. Nicarno and Kelly are just a few steps away from pulling me down from all the way I've made through these years.

I have thought to myself many times that we need to stop at some point in time. Despite our best efforts, we were both unable to stop it. We were too clouded by the mist of lust that took us over. Something so strong, that it might fail the magnetic pull. And just like that, I couldn't resist his sweet temptations.

I thought I could control it just as I did with others... But I couldn't. Unexpectedly, everything started happening outside of my control. And now, here I stand with the fears that could end the life, I've built so far.

What have I done?

It was not far from where I had a very good chance of being nominated for the new vice president. I mean it is a dream come true. If I win, I'd be the youngest president across the globe. It would be an achievement. All my hard work for all these years, trying to give a life to myself that I deserve was just standing outside the door. Everything was in the perfect place. Everything was under my control. Everything I had worked for was finally going to pay off. Until... Alex happened to me.

But right now, I can see it falling. The life I have dreamed so hard is crumbling under the pressure of the shadow of my past. Honestly, I am scared. Scared of the possible things that it could do to Alex and me if the news of our dating got out there. If Valeria gets out in public.

It was a part of me, that needs to stay in the dark shadows. Something only related to the thirst of my lust and temptations. That is a part I wanted to keep absolutely separated. While in the light of the sun, I was this control freak, workaholic monster counsellor of NYU, Valeria was the hunter of the night sky. She was the power. She was the control. She reminds me of what had happened to me in the past, and how can I only keep control in my hands with her help.

Maybe my morals are grey, maybe my soul is twisted and dark. But that is who I am now. I had to be. I can't forget my past. That made me who I am today. Strong, independent and in control.

But with him, in these months, I've tossed everything away. How can he put on such a stupid show? How can I forget to take control?

More than being worried about him right now, I am angry with him. It was his fault from the beginning. He keeps pushing me beyond my limits. I wanted to run. But it was him who always chase me to the very end.

Those ocean eyes.

"Now, let me taste that body of yours."

"Be a good girl doll."

"You never know what destiny keeps for us."

"It was nice to meet you again... Miss... Mira."

"I want you, Mira. please don't reject me."

"I want you, Mira. I want you as mine."

"I am marking you today, Mira, you are mine. All mine"

The roses, the jealousy, the comfort, the dates, the smile, his touch, his lips, and his voice began to ring all in my head like a broken radio.

"I love you."

"There is no pressure to reply to me soon. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."

In these months, I broke so many rules. Rules, that once used to be the control of my life. Now, we landed in a situation, consequences can break us to pieces.

These four and a half months have indeed been the best of my existence. We chose a game that showed us both excitement and fire, which kind of bonded us together in insanity. We didn't see anything in front of us, apart from each other. Truth to be told, I was genuinely happy. Happy after so long, that I thought this was real. Everything I knew before was only a dream.

That I can be happy too. And a part of me began to believe in the word 'love' too. We could barely take our hands off each other, And I don't think that it remained situated only in lust. There was so much more that I was trying to figure out, what to name. I was so consumed with the idea of being 'happy and in love' that I went on breaking all the other rules that existed.

But now. Standing here, I realized I have been dreaming away from reality. I did these things to run from reality. that took us both to the edge of the cliff. With one swift movement, we could lose it all.

Our career.

As soon as the car stopped, before his apartment, I stepped out of the car and rushed into his building, without any second thought... There was a mixture of anger and worries working inside of me. Even though my mind was messed up, I hoped that he is all right. I patiently waited as I rang the bell.

God, please make him okay.

As soon as he opened the door, revealing his face, I throw myself at him. I hugged him with all my might. I was happy to find him okay. Though he did have some bruises and all. But he was still standing in front of me, in one piece.

Maybe I have hoped to see him in broken legs or arms, by the idea of how they have depicted the fight. But I was happy not to find him like that. But then the next minute, I forced myself to pull off and asked with a deadpan, "I demand an explanation right now."

His eyes were confused, tired, scared and maybe a little happy to see me too.

But what was he thinking? How can be he so reckless?

"Wha- What are you doing here?" he managed to ask as I dragged him to his living room, and he followed me quietly. I don't want other people to hear us. Although the floor belongs to him, still.

"What am I supposed to do when I find out that you violated a vital part of our contract?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, knitting his eyebrows.

"Do not act like you're innocent here. I know what happened at school today. How reckless could you be? You took the name of Valeria out there knowing that, this could turn everything upside down for me? And why the hell did it happen in the first place?" My voice showed the rage, I was holding onto.

"Oh, you mean why all of a sudden you decided to talk to my friends over the phone yesterday out of your jealousy and why their suspicion turned into the belief that I had a girlfriend in the first place?" he retorted.

"Oh," I sighed in frustration not believing he is blaming me for all this. "Now you mean to say this is all my fault?" I snarled. My rage took off the roof, leaving behind only the ashes. "It was you who started the play with Bellamy at first. You kept provoking me again and again. And now you are saying it is my fault?" My voice dropped dry humour for him.

"No..." He whispered looking down. His voice holds guilt and regret. "It was all my fault that I fought for you with my friends." He dropped the same dry humour. "Because for me," he looked up at me, and once again our eyes met, but there was no spark as before. Only hurt can be seen in both of our eyes. "you, mattered more than anyone else... it was all my fault." At this moment, his voice softens and my heart almost skips a beat.

But nothing could match my fury right now.

"According to what I heard, it sounded like you were too close to Bellamy in the first place, so that is why all of this happened... Don't tell me that I didn't warn you that she liked you. You are the one who ignored me."

"How can you put her in between all this?" he retorted with a frown. How can he take his side, right now, when he knows she is the cause of all this?

"How can I not? You kept provoking me with her name. You knew I never liked that girl for some reason, but you chose to ignore my words and look, right now, everything is happening all because of her!" I yelled. "My..." A low regretful whisper left my mouth, "dreams, future, career, reputation is at stake. If Nicarno would find out that Valeria is none other than me, he would not take a second thought before pulling me out there, accusing I violated the rules, by making myself involved with a student. And... whatever I have worked on so far, will end... right here." My voice almost broke not believing my words.

"You know what? This is a fault, you and me." A warm liquid started rolling down my cheeks, and the salty taste of it, made me realize that I was crying. It hurts me to say that all to him, but I can't ignore that this is all right. Possibly. Had he not entered my life, nothing like this would have happened. "We are not supposed to happen in the first place. You are my student, and I..." M voice almost gave up. "I was attracted to forbidden fruit. And that you keep playing with me and Bellamy."

Silence filled the room as he stared at me blankly. He couldn't believe I would say that.

But it was true. He started it all. From the very beginning, he provoked me to come to him, using her. And in between, when he gets to know that she like him, he never said anything to her to stop. Instead, maybe he led her, just like me. After all, all guys are liars. And that caused all of this mess in the first place. Maybe I did a mistake again, trusting someone, despite knowing that in the end, he'd break that. They always do.

Slowly he looked at me with disgust and anger.

His ocean-blue eyes showed the silent storm in them. The eyes that once showed love and affection are now filled with anger and disgust. The one, that made me warm once, now made me feel the chills of the ice. His messy hair, bruised eyes, and cracked lips indicate that every part of him is broken right now.

"You don't mean that." His voice slowly trailed, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I do. Every word. I made a big mistake trusting you. I knew a day would come like this, breaking everything, but I never listened to my inner voice. None of this should have happened in the first place. 'We' shouldn't have happened. Maybe that would have been better than this mess you have created. You pushed me off the cliff, you pushed me off my limits and now look, everything is fucking getting out of my control." I yelled taking out all my frustration and anger.

"For fuck's sake stop controlling things. This is how life moves on." He retorted. "Since day one, I was the one, who has been trying to break the ice in your heart, trying to give you the warmth and comfort you seek for, and that is because I fucking love you so much." He yelled back. His shoulder moved up and down due to the heavy breathing.

"I don't want you to fucking love me!" It makes me weak. "It makes me suffocated. It made me off the grid. I am losing control over everything!"

His nostrils flare. "Then let it go, Mira. This is what a normal life is. Let go of that fucking control and try to see what the world has to offer."

"I can't..." I screamed telling him how much pain it was giving me. "I can't..." My voice came out a little softer this time. Bile rises to my throat and it was hard to say any word. "This... is what I am. This is what I was. And this is what I will be. I can't fucking give up on the control of everything just for some stupid reckless affair." I cried.

And now I have said something I shouldn't have. I stopped when I see the storm in his eyes slowly disappear and leaving behind only disgust for me, which started to fill with hurt. He was hurt. I hurt him. But I guess that is the right thing to do. Maybe.

"So, all we were doing this time was some stupid reckless affair for you?" he asked in a deep voice. So deep that it made me shiver down my spine. The voice which once hold the affirmation now is filled with hurt and anger.

My lips quivered in shame, that I hurt the person who values me the most to me. But I couldn't ignore it anymore. It was true, 'he' shouldn't have happened at all. Despite knowing he is a kid, who made me recklessly fall for him, which can cause this stupid situation, I should have controlled it better.

It was my fault.

Maybe this is for the better. No matter how much it hurt me, I should end this right here. I know I am going to get in trouble, but I don't want him to compromise his career. No matter how hurt I am, I still do care for him.

He walked towards me and held me in by my shoulder, so tightly that it might leave some bruises later. Tears started falling from my eyes like a tap. His face was just a few inches away from mine. Right now, I was feeling the heat inside of him through his breath falling on my skin. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. So, I keep my eyes looking down. Closing my eyes, I allowed my agony to flow away in the form of tears.

In a calm voice, he asked, "tell me, Mira, am I just a reckless affair to you all these months? Haven't I won over any part of your heart yet?"

There was a sense of calm before the tsunami. I know he had anger issues. I saw him that day when he tried to kill Arthur that night at the club when he tried to molest me. That was the first time, I have seen these storms and rages in his eyes. And after so many days, I am seeing it again. And unfortunately, this time, they are for me.

"Answer me!" he yelled, and I flinched at his sudden action. "Answer me, am I just a toy after all these months we spent together? Did they really mean nothing to you?"

I bit my tongue to hold off my tears. I gulp down the dry bile in my throat when finally, I decided to meet his eyes. And to my shock, when I saw him, he was crying. He was crying for me. My heart ached to see his vulnerable state, but I couldn't help him.

I knew I was somewhere lying, but maybe this is for the best.

"We should've never happened in the first place."

"Tell me you never felt the way I felt for you Mira," he asked once again but this time his voice broke at the end. He was trying hard to hold on but failed terribly. "Tell me that you did not feel what I felt during our time together. Tell me!" he yelled again, but end up breaking down in tears.

I hate to see him like this. But this is for the best. My inner self keeps on telling me.

"No, I haven't" I finally answered. Though it was a lie that's what came out of my mouth at that point in time. But that is for the best. For both of us.

His hands left my skin and I immediately felt a pain in my chest that I had never experienced before.

"I see." He sadly chuckled. "So, all along this time, I was just a sex toy for you? All you were these days was a slut?" He threw the nearest fruit basket, spilling them all over the floor. His anger was out of control, and he now looked like a crazy person who was hurt to the point that he could kill anyone right now.

I should've run that time. But, something so strange about him keeps telling me that he won't hurt me. Not physically. He began to throw a few things after that causing a few plates to break and scatter all over the floor.

And then I realize that for the very first time, he had used a name for me, that I didn't like out of his mouth. I've been called filthy names before. Some of them are used to make me feel disgusted, and some of them are used later to make me remind of the control and strength that I have right now.

But this was something else. It hurt more than I've ever thought. I looked at him disgustingly. I hate him right now. He was referring to me by the same name that the rest of the world labelled me.

No one would why Valeria was formed in the first place. But looking at him, made me realized that maybe he is the one, who doesn't see me like those filthy women, but he actually sees my inner self. He made me feel beautiful, a woman, and many more, but today he stripped me down of all my pride.

This is why I hate men. In the end, they were all the same. They will take you, claim you, show you all the affection and then will call you a slut once all of these are over. That is what happens to me right now.

"Did you just call me a slut?" My voice whispered with pain.

He looked at me blankly realizing his fault. I've never imagined myself in this broken state before. Or maybe I did and chose to ignore it. But in the end, it comes back, to where it was.

"Mira. I--- Don't..." He tried apologizing... but it was too late.

"Don't..." I stepped back a few steps away from him. "Don't touch me, right now." I gulped the pain.

His frustrated face looked at me with desperate apologies, but I was in no position to offer any. I stood there looking at him pathetically. He pushed his hair back in frustration and anger. That was the only thing he could do now.

The air was heated inside. Whatever we say right now will only make things worse. So, I need to leave. From there, I turned on my heels and walked towards the door without wasting any seconds more. But before I could make it out from there, his hands gripped my wrist.

"Let me go," I said firmly.

"No... Mira just listen to me... Please"

"Maybe we should just rethink everything. Maybe I was right, we should've never happened in the first place. You don't deserve to be with a slut like me." I tried to stop the tears, but just like everything else, they aren't in my control. "Let go of me, Alex. I need to take care of what you caused."

I could hear his little sighs but I decided not to look back. Maybe I should never have. After that one night, I should have stopped. Only then could I have controlled all of this. But it was too late now. There was nothing I could do to turn it back.

As much as I tried not to cry over him, I couldn't stop myself from tearing up.

Tom rides through traffic towards my apartment as I remain inside, recalling everything that has happened so far. How destiny brought him to me, how I got lost in his eyes. How one night made everything different, and how I risked everything for one person. I let him in despite knowing that I was breaking all my own rules.

And it was too late now to take him out.

I do not know what exactly happened today, but from what I got to understand, Mike was suspicious that he was dating someone older than him. And in the fight, he must have taken my name. But, how did he suspect us in the first place? If he suspects this, I can expect to be pointed at, revealing my other identity. Though I know that not many people were aware of Valeria, many people do. She was once the name and desire of many men. But every time, she played with tier heart instead.

That's how she regains her control. In her dark twisted way.

That is how, also she gets famous, for bidding. That happened when the rich society men got played and decided, to get bidding on who could be caught her and bring her to them, so that they could take their revenge.

That is why I have ended her completely. That was the early part of my life when I moved to NY. Valeria would make an entrance, make men fall on their knees, make them worship her and then leave. A dark part of me, use to get satisfaction from their breaking heart and disappointment.

But then, I decided to keep low and focus on my work. Only Nina knows about this.

And now, once again, when Valeria's name was out, it makes me scared of unknown things that could happen to me. I would lose everything if the news of him and I got out, and that too if it gets out that I was the famous Valeria. Nicarno would win easily and Kelly would be amused by the pathetic me. I would lose the faith and trust that Andrew has for me too.

I cannot let all this happen. I was too scared. Tears didn't stop all the way through my journey to my house. I cannot call it home anymore because I was missing a piece again. Him. I broke into tears knowing the same thing had happened to me once again. Someone I trusted broke me all over again.

All of this little happiness seems to have faded away from my life once again. Now I realize I shouldn't have been tempted by him. I shouldn't have let him in and I shouldn't have let any of this happen. This was all my fault.

I sat in the nearest chair thinking about what would happen if I was at fault. What could I possibly do to make out of all this?

All I could do now is to run. Like I have been all my life. Like I did 4 years ago when I decided on my destination from India to New York. Run to start all over again. But the thing that I wasn't sure of was running would help me out this time. Alex was probably more than what I thought him to be in my life. And I can't give up Andrew's trust like this. Maybe, I should look into other options.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Mira has to choose. Alex has always loved Mira more than she could ever imagine. And despite the fact, that she knows what are her feelings for him, she chooses to ignore them. Now all they have to do is wait.

Also, I would like to give you a small piece of advice: never say anything when you are angry. The words you chose are not what you meant. It is all part of the aggression.