A/N

Sup bros.

AlexTheLlama here. I like swearing, so be prepared for the most motherfucking aesome shit you've ever read.

Except for... Basically, most stuff.

****

"Okay, so here's the plan," I whispered to the other Willow. Or maybe I'm the other Willow?

OH MY GOD! TOO MANY WILLOWS! UGH, MINDFUCK!

"Willow?"

"Yeah?" I asked, glancing at Willow.

"What's the plan?" She demanded in a whisper, as Sirius and James walked past us.

"Oh, uh... I forgot." Other Willow face- palmed, and I took a bite from the bread.

Munch munch.

I like breakfast.

"I'd call you a Willow, but that would be an insult for the Willows."

"Wait. THERE ARE MORE WILLOWS?!" I asked, horrified.

I mean, three is too much, and I'm not even sure if we are three.

Okay, the one that sent me here, the one here, and me-

Oh, and the one that sent the Willow that sent me here.

Crap.

Way too much.

Or maybe we are all one, and we are too stupid to realize it.

Or maybe I'm a poo head for thinking that.

The food suddenly disappeared and I moaned in internal pain, "Noooo!"

"Willow-"

I then started crying because of how much food is yummy, and how much I love food, and how much I miss Mrs. Weasley's food, and how much I miss Mrs. Weasley and Fred, and Charlie, and Bill, and Ginny, and Mr. Weasley, and even Fleur and and Percy and I also really miss Shemione and Harry and Lupin and George.

Oh, how I fucking miss George.

I miss his ear, and I miss his hands, and I miss his laugh, and I miss his hair and eyes and I just hate Hogwarts now.

If we’re already crying about shit, then I miss Tonks too. And I miss Sirius.

Not the douche-y Sirius from this time, Harry's godfather.

And I miss grumpy Moody.

And Professor MG that likes me.

And why am I crying so much?

I even miss that fucking troll from our first year, even though it smelled like shit.

No.

Actually, like a troll.

I dunno.

I just miss home.

Whoops.

I had a mental break down.

It seems to be happening a lot these days…

Remember when I took happy pills in my fourth year?

WELL, THEY ARE BACK!

But no diary this time.

Or Draco to annoy.

OH MY GOD I EVEN MISS MY SKANK OF A NOT- BROTHER.

I really should find a friend...

Or maybe I should annoy Wormtail.

Sounds like a plan to me!

"Spy mode; activated." I snuck around Hogwarts, somehow got lost and ended up near the Whomping Willow.

"Hello Willow," I told the tree.

"Hello child." I screamed, thinking the tree answered. "Would you like going into me?"

"That's what she said!" I started laughing hysterically.

"What? Who?"

"Siriusly, who is talking?" I asked.

"The Whomping Willow."

It took me like, five minutes, to process the information, and when I finally did, Snape and Lily were walking past me, hand in hand.

I let out a scream (because TALKING TREES!) and ran to the Hospital Wing.

Happy pills are bad for ma brain.

***

Two days later, I was still in a lockdown at the Hospital Wing, with weird meds that made me all crazy, and Lucy was yelling in my head, because, apparently, there was a fire in my head.

And I think I saw Hermione.

But maybe I'm just crazy.

Probably the latter.

I Wonder where other Willow is.

----

A/N(A)

THIS CHAPTER MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! IKR!

Well. Um. It was nice. Willow+Alex=Dafuq.

I didn't swear that much :c

AlexTheLlama- out :D