Hey guys!

 It's sophayy

 Yeah I have no idea what I wrote so go ahead and read!

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"Frunkoodle shit!" I screamed. 

I fell on the ground. 

Classy Willow. Real classy. 

The classes are weird. Everyone’s learning all this shit I already know, because I god diddly done it already!

Peasants. BOW DOWN TO YOUR QUEEN. 

Oh my god. The word ‘this’ is ‘shit’ backwards which is like shit. WHAT IS THIS!? 

McGonagall still hates me aha. She ain't a llorse. I bet she hates French fries too. 

Lemon. 

Anywho…Lupin was all like "Wow, how did you know that I'm a you-know-what?"

And I was like "A what? LUPIN YOU HAVE NO PENIS?!" Because I’m trying to avoid confrontation.

Then he was like "How'd ya know I'm a werewolf?"

I was like "I watch you sleep."

And he was like “The fuck, man?”

Then I skipped off to go eat. 

FOOD WOO. 

After lunch my leg was really sore - probably from falling out of the bunk-bed in my tent - so I went to the hospital wing. 

MADAM POMFREY IS SO YOUNG WOW. 

Anyway, so it turns out my leg was broken. 

I'm observant. 

She put me in a bed next to this other dude that had a Slytherin tie. 

Ew Slytherin Ew. 

I’m so house-racist.

"Hi!" I yelled at him. Like a Willow. 

"Hi" he said quietly. 

He was sitting in the bed with an arm that looked oddly like jelly.

Oh no – don’t tell me Lockhart was a student at this point in time!

I took a different tact.

“I’m Willow.” I smiled at him. He looked kind of familiar, but in an unfamiliar way…wait fuck that doesn’t make sense.

"I know who you are. You’re Dumbledore’s niece." He said, turning his dark eyes to meet mine. “So why’d you come to Hogwarts?”

“What?”

“Why are you here and why are you emotionally unstable?” He squinted his eyes at me and I forced an uncomfortable laugh.

“You don’t, ah, beat around the bush, do ya?”

“No.”

“Let’s play twenty questions.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s like, I ask a question, you ask a question…Kapish?”

“Kapish.”

“Alright – I’ll go first, what’s your name?”

“Severus Snape.”

I fell off the bed. 

“Snape?” I yelped.

SNape?

SNApe?

SNAPe?

SNAPE?

Oh my god. He looks so sad, so vulnerable. 

Those eyes… they're the same expression I had when I first came to Hogwarts and met Shemione. 

Shemione. 

God I miss her. I miss her so much. 

Why am I even here? I wanna go back. 

“I wanna go back.”I whispered.

Then something weird happened. 

I fell into a trance and dreamt of everyone I love. 

Hermione, Harry, Lupin, Ron, George, Fred, Ginny, everyone. 

They were all calling me, telling me to come back. 

I wish I could. 

“Go back where?” Snape’s voice pulled me out of my stupor.

I looked up at him and wiped the tears off of my face.

EMOTIONS CAN YOU FUCKING NOT please. 

“Go back where?” Snape repeated, his eyes not moving from my face.

“Home.” I mumbled.

“Is that how vague you’re going to be about everything? If so I don’t want to play twenty questions anymore.”

“I want to go back to my friends and family where I was happy. I want to not be here.” I stared at him. “Why are you in hospital?”

“Because I have no bones in my arm.”

“Why don’t you have bones?”

“It’s not your question.”

“Sorry.” I rolled my eyes.

“Why are you here, if you don’t want to be?”

“Dumbledore thought it best if I came to Hogwarts.”

“Why?”

“It’s my question – Why do you have no bones in your arm?”

“You know the Mauraders.” Snape said. “It’s their fault.”

“How so?”

“It’s my question.”

“For fucks sake.” I rolled my eyes.

“Why did Dumbledore bring you here?”

“Because he thought it best.”

“Don’t do that, Willow. Answer the question.”

Man, Snape was really quite direct. Weird.

“Okay. My last school, my friends and family were inside the school hall, and there was an explosion and lots of people died and they’re gone now. And I’m fucked up. And Dumbledore is now my caregiver and brought me here.” I started crying again, despite lying through my teeth. They weren’t ‘fake’ tears, per say, they were just a slightly-different-situation brand of tears.

“Why wasn’t it in the daily forecast?”

“What’s the Daily forecast?” I asked, completely bemused.

“Like the most popular newspaper.” Snape said, eyeing me carefully.

“Oh.” I said quietly. The old version of the Daily Prophet.

“Doesn’t Dumbledore have a brother, though?”

“Aberforth? Yes, he is my father,” I said, realizing that I was actually fucking myself over beyond repair. Why didn’t I keep the druggie cover story? Fuck. That would have made life much easier. “He’s not a very kind father…Dumbledore assumed the role.”

“Really? Aberforth has always seemed lovely in the Hog’s Head.” Snape said, raising his brows at me.

“He’s kinder to strangers than he is to kin.” I nodded. “So answer my question.” I changed the topic. “What did the Marauder’s do to your arm?”

“They cursed the bones out of it. Now I have to regrow them.”

“Oh, that fucking sucks.” I said, “Why did they do that?”

“They’re bullies – all of them. Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew – they’re all fucking horrible.”

“Sev, maybe if you were –“

“What?” he snapped. “I should change to stop them bullying me?”

“If you weren’t so invested in the dark arts –“

“Don’t assume to think you know me,” He snarled. “I know you hang out with them. I know they’re your friends. I know –“

“Don’t assume to think you know me.” I said staring at him. “I can’t afford to have friends. Friends die.”

Fred, Ruby, Lupin, Tonks, Luna –

“I’m sorry.” Snape said, shaking his head at me.

“I don’t know you –not now.” I said, “But I know that if you continue to meddle with the Dark Arts, Lily P –Evans –“ I corrected myself hastily. “Will die.”

“What?” he said, alarm shining across his face.

“I know you love her, Sev. I know you called her a mudblood, and I know she won’t talk to you. But if you listen to the Dark Arts, no matter what you do, you’ll get her killed.” Yes. Willow. Divulge more of the future to this fucked up kid. I’m sure he’ll handle it.

“How do you know?”

“Fine.” I said, “Go ahead, join Lord Voldemort. Kill some bitches! But when she dies, mate, it’s on you.”

He stared at me.

“You’re not from this time, are you?”

“I am from a different place.” I said, thinking of some far-off distant planet. “I’m from Antarctica.” I’m a fucking twat. “Culture shock.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“You’ll grow up to be a bad person. I’m trying to help.”

“I like you, Willow.”

“I like you too, Severus. You’re cool, like a cat.”

Like Soxy. 

OHMYGOD SOXY MY BABY. 

I MISS SOXY. 

So ya, all in all, Snapey and I are friends now and stuff. 

I hope he doesn't curse me into oblivion. 

Oblivion. 

What a weird word.