"I won't fly commercial. What happened to ours?"

"Australia, Ash." Henry said.

"So?"

"Last time you flew commercial, remember?"

Ash went to sit on Henry's arm rest. "I can't forget it, Hen. I almost died, remember?"

I smiled at the exaggeration and closed the laptop. It's just the three of us in the room. Most of the team already left for Corey's party. Only Seb was downstairs. He was equipping the new guys.

Henry was going over the plans for the upcoming travel. Ash, as usual, wanted to make last minute changes.

Henry looked at me for help."It wasn't that crowded. Was it?"

I too remembered that trip. "There was a family before him in the check-in line."

Ash nodded. "BIG ass family. Nine. And they took forever to board. I literally passed out. Didn't I?" He turned his wide eyes at me.

"I can't remember." I lied. He had whined for all of the ten minutes it took to board the plane.

"I do. Also they put Nick far away from me! And that woman wouldn't change his seat!!" Ash frowned, clearly reliving his fight with that air hostess.

"It was first class. How far could he have been?" Henry asked.

"He couldn't see me from his seat. That far!"

I laughed at that. "I was sitting right behind him."

Henry swatted at Ash. "Drama queen!"

"Whatever. Ready our jet."

Henry sighed. "You will be there for a month. We have to pay to keep it stored in some place safe. That's expensive. Instead we can rent a local jet for inland trips. Much cheaper."

"I don't care how much it costs. I won't set foot on those stupid planes with long queues and talk to stupid women with false smiles."

Henry crossed his arms. "Very well. Just so you know, whatever you'll earn there, you'll spend on that rent alone."

Ash sat up. "You're lying." He watched Henry closely as if he could tell if Henry was lying just by staring at him without blinking.

Henry was a pro. He cocked a brow.

That was enough to convince Ash. "Okay. Still, I-"

Henry stopped him."Listen. There are no queues for celebrities now. The flight you're taking has better seats than our jet. Nick will sit right next to you."

Ash scrunched his forehead and gave another owl look and asked. "Buffy?"

"I booked for them in economy." Henry replied.

Only three of them this time-Rob, Tolan and Seb. We would hire locals if needed.

"No, no. Buffy should be with us." Ash said.

"Why? First class isn't cheap." Henry looked at me again. He had checked with me before booking. I didn't see any issue with his plan. It wasn't like we would all stand on guard inside a flying plane.

"I don't care. I want Buffy's seat close to mine." Ash declared, surprising me.

From what I had observed, Ash and Rob had odd dynamics. They ignored each other and talked only when absolutely necessary. Sometimes Ash tried to pull Rob into conversations. Rob never encouraged them. And yet, it was Rob who got the go ahead from Ash for Corey's party. In fact Ash had become weirdly generous and gave everyone, including me, the whole evening off.

They both must get along well. If not Ash wouldn't demand this. He was too particular about who shared his space.

Henry smirked at Ash. "All right. All right. I'll see if tickets are still available."

"Why is your lip jumping like that?" Ash asked.

"There was a time when you didn't want to pay him tier one salary. Remember? Now you are willing to spend for his first class ticket!" Henry smirked again.

I had forgotten about that. It felt like a long time ago. That was the problem with lies, if we didn't keep track of them we would forget them all together.

Ash's face became blank. "Oh... what..." He paused and swung his head back and forth between us. "He is getting trained. He'll go to guard somebody else." He mumbled and bit on his right hand knuckles.

Henry's smirk widened into a full blown grin at Ash's worry. He pulled down Ash's arm to stop him biting his knuckles-another bad habit of Ash. "Yeah, you reminded me. Now he has more than enough experience. I will let them know right away."

Before Henry could unlock the phone it went flying across the room. Ash sat on his lap and framed his face with his hands. "Listen Hen. He can't. You hear me? Tell this client that he ran away."

Henry chuckled. "Why would I do that?"

Henry loved these games he played with Ash. He loved to prove that he knew Ash better than anyone. It was true, mostly.

"Because he works for me now." Ash said.

"No, he works for Nick. Are you okay with letting him go, Nick?" He asked me.

I played along. "If he wants."

Ash hugged Henry. "Why can't he stay?"

"He will get a better pay there."

"I'll pay." Ash replied without missing a beat.

They must really, really get along.

"Really? Why bother? I don't understand." Henry scratched his head.

Ash let out a growl and sagged on Henry's chest.

"I don't mind having him around." Ash confessed in a murmur.

Henry wanted more, he winked at me over Ash's head. "We have had him more than enough. It's totally-"

Ash sat up with a glare. "NO, HEN!!! I won't let him go. He stays. And that's it. GOT IT?"

Henry pinched Ash's nose. "Yes, my boy. I got that he is your buddy-buddy now."

Ash still looked angry. "Promise me."

Henry ruffled his hair. "Promise. Anything else you need, my prince?"

Ash nuzzled his neck, all the anger gone in a second. "Yes, you. I want you to come with us. To Australia."

Henry let out a breath. "We already discussed that. I can't."

"You're going to miss so much fun. So much." Ash whispered in his ear.

Henry pushed his head away, "that tickles. Maybe for the next tour. Anyways, shall I book one more ticket?"

"For whom?"

"Your girl."

Ash didn't reply right away.

He licked his lips.

He might not know how to tell when we lied. But from the long experience we knew. That was a sign for an upcoming lie.

"I'm not getting a good enough girl."

Henry shared a look with me. He never lied to us. Why now?

"What is your good enough? I can help." Henry asked, taking his tablet. He must have decided to see where this was going.

Ash wiped his mouth and licked again.

Hmm.

"She should be shorter than me."

"Okay." Henry typed something with a serious face. I wanted to laugh.

"Rich."

"Why?" I asked. That wasn't something I expected from him. He cared about money. But not to that level.

"I don't like to buy things for her. She should buy her own fucking hand bag."

I shouldn't have asked.

Henry shook his head. "That's part of being a boyfriend Ash. It's not about money. It's about giving gifts, spending time with her."

"No. Just no."

"Fine. Next?"

"She shouldn't sing." Ash had warmed up to the topic. He wasn't nervous anymore.

"Really?"

"Yes, Hen. No singing, not a peep."

"Did something happen?" I asked, curious.

Ash nodded, closing his ears with his hands. "Ellie... never again."

I laughed. "Don't waste your time Henry, he isn't looking for a girlfriend."

"Hey, I am. Wanna bet?" Ash perked up.

"I'll take your bet. What are the terms?" Henry asked.

"Hundred dollars. I'll find a girl I like and stay with her for at least six months."

"Six months!!" Henry's eyes became huge. Six months was too high of a goal for Ash. He would get bored. Three months would be a miracle.

"Yes."

Henry perked up. "Up the bet. Thousand dollars."

"Done."

Henry winked. "Easy gas money."

I chuckled, if I was a betting man, I would bet too. Easy money.

"No, Hen. You'll see. You're gonna pay me that thousand and I'm gonna donate it to that old gay men club on your name."

Henry grinned. "I have so much faith in you Ash."

"Do you sing Nick?" Ash asked.

Henry laughed. "You can't break up with him, Ash. No one will take up his duties."

Ash rolled his eyes.

Henry put down his tablet. "But seriously, what's going on with my boy?" He placed his hand on Ash's shoulder and gave a squeeze.

Ash didn't look confused. He didn't deflect the question. He knew we didn't buy his lie. He just sighed. A long, tired sigh. It's a rare look on him.

"There is this person." He said in a small voice and looked at us for a reaction.

I nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Is it the same person?" Henry asked.

Ash nodded.

"Who is this same person?" I asked, confused.

"Ash was trying to get a hug. Didn't he talk to you about it?" Henry turned towards me surprised.

I shook my head. "No."

Ash glared. "I did." He shifted back to Henry, "I got the hug, Hen. I didn't even have to ask."

"Then why are you worried?"

"This person is different. This person... Umm... let's call this person F. Yes. F." Ash smiled to himself.

I already liked this F. If she could make Ash this nervous, she must be something special.

"What's wrong with F?" Hen asked.

"Nothing. Just different. I want to impress so badly. And the thing is, it is really difficult to impress. F doesn't think much of me, in fact hates me. Still, F is all soft and considerate and shit when I need them the most." Ash sighed.

Finally, he had found someone who wasn't head over heels for him from the first meeting. Good.

I mentally went through the NDA forms that had been signed last week. It gave me a pause. There was no name that started with a F. Actually in the last two days there were no forms. That happened only when he was sick. He wasn't sick. That meant this was serious.

I always had a worry that he would end up with Gino. They were bad for each other. Doing reckless things without a thought. If left unsupervised they both would end up in a ditch in fifteen minutes flat.

I hoped F was better. But she should give him a good chase before accepting him. He had to understand that there were people who valued character more than fame.

"I can't stop thinking about F. Like, for the past twenty four hours, it's like, my mind is like, in rewind... it's torture..." He put his head on his hands, slumping on his elbows.

Henry glanced at me but made no move to disturb Ash.

This was new. Ash wasn't someone who went after girls. He hooked up only if they were interested. Not once had he talked about anyone with such desperation.

In an unspoken agreement Henry and I waited for him to continue.

He did after a few seconds.

"Like... I'm thinking about everything we had done together... and it aches... because I wish to do more..." His hands came down but his eyes were still closed. He slouched back onto Henry. "A lot more... and... F still doesn't like me... and what we have right now is good... It is fragile and beautiful... But... I mean... it doesn't matter... Does it, Hen?"

Ash opened his eyes and watched Henry expectantly.

I suppressed a grin. I thought I would have to wait forever to witness this. Ash was tripping over his own thoughts to talk about someone.

Ash is in love. For the first fucking time.

This is GOLD.

Henry must have come to the same conclusion. He grinned big and patted Ash on his cheek, "it will get better. I promise."

I chuckled. "Book the ticket Henry, we need the additional room for whoever this F is."

Henry's face glowed in happiness. "Of course."

Ash groaned. "You have nothing else to say? No advice? I am dying..."

Seb knocked on the door.

I got up and retrieved Henry's phone and gave him. "Let's go."

Ash groaned some more.

Time for Corey's party. Ash hadn't made any remark about me going to Corey's party. I had asked him multiple times. Now it made me suspicious. What if he had planned something? What if he got into trouble without me to stop? What if he went somewhere with this mysterious F?

I would call the studio every five minutes, just to make sure. Also, Rob would go there as planned earlier. He wasn't ready to take the whole evening off.

"Is Henry coming with us?" Seb asked.

"No. Eli wants to meet the baby. She can't come today. You guys carry on. I will have to visit them some other time." Henry said and tried to get up.

Ash wrapped Henry in a hug and whispered in his ear.

Henry laughed and pushed him away.

It made me smile. I could watch them all day long.

"You too need to leave now." I reminded Ash. He had a new song recording. It would undoubtedly go forever.

We all filed out of the room. Henry left first.

I bundled Ash in the car and briefed the new guys again.

"That's enough Nick. Go have fun." Ash rolled up the window, blocking me.

I straightened up and he waved at me grinning as the car started moving.

I watched the car until it became dust.

Fun. I couldn't imagine any fun.

More than three hours. But I had so many pending personal work to do. I could do a lot in three hours. If I had known that I was getting a few free hours beforehand, I would have scheduled my physical review, instead of wasting time at some birthday party. A baby's party at that.

That thought made me feel guilty. My attendance was planned as a surprise to Corey. Rob and Tolan had begged me to make this happen. They wanted to have a bash.

With me.

Rob had teased when I told no.

"What's it Boss? Can't you be away from Ash for two measly hours?"

Tolan had joined him.

"Don't tell me. Are you gonna miss him?"

I had to agree just to prove them wrong.

But I could leave early and squeeze in that review.

"Take the Civic. You will have to get your ride back with somebody else." I informed Seb as we walked to the garage.

Seb made a choked noise. "Boss, you can't leave before the party is done. You shall be the last guest that leaves."

His tone came out harsh and final. But that's just how Seb always talked. He was a military school drop out. He told me once that he didn't regret his choices. A guy who worked as a bodyguard saying that messed my mind for a few days. If he could figure out his life this young, in my books he had done himself a great service. Unlike me.

"Says who?"

"All of us. That's the deal."

I raised my eyebrows. "I made no deal."

"Rob was correct. He knew!" Seb shook his head in disappointment.

I got curious. "What did he say?"

"You forgot to have fun. He told me that you would try to find excuses to get away and do some shit like tax work or dry cleaning or haircut."

I chuckled, a haircut was indeed in my to-do list. "You see, I need to go to the hospital."

Seb stopped walking and stared at me with shock. "What happened?"

His genuine concern touched me. My boys were absolute gems.

"I got my annual physical test results. Doc wanted me to come in, to discuss."

"Oh, is everything okay?"

I shrugged. "I would know if I went." Something wasn't okay. I could already tell.

He scratched his chin. "Okay. Check if the doctor is available now. We will go there and then to the party."

"We will be late."

Seb simply smiled.

I narrowed my eyes. "Is it even a birthday party?"

He put up his hands. "It is. It is. It doesn't start for another forty minutes though. Rob made sure we have buffer time."

I gave a surprised scoff. I must have taught Rob too well.

"All right." I gave in.

****

"I know I shouldn't ask. But..." Seb trailed off looking back at the road.

"Nothing too bad. Don't worry."

He had waited in the car when I went in for my review. It took close to twenty minutes. Now we were back on the road on our way to Corey's house.

He scratched the steering wheel. "Now, I'm more worried."

I chuckled. "He just gave a bunch of printed papers with stuff to follow in diet and shit. I am forty. It's kind of a standard procedure now."

I wasn't going to discuss my health with my team. That's too personal for me. I had no one to discuss 'too personal' things.

Seb hummed and left it at that. We had a forty five minutes drive in front of us. I relaxed on my seat. I usually didn't get to simply sit in a car without Ash on my side. And when Ash was on my side I wouldn't get to relax. This was a novelty. I decided to enjoy it.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift off wherever they wished.

Predictably they landed on Ash. To be precise, F.

I wanted to know her. Who the heck was she? I must have seen her somewhere. There was no way in hell Ash met her without my knowledge. How had I missed him fumbling in front of her? There must have been some fumbling. If he wasn't able to talk about her without getting anxious then definitely he would be even more of a mess in front of her.

I smiled. Poor Ash... First love was always hard. And for Ash it would be the hardest. Because to him, everything had to be extreme. He wouldn't dip his toe. He would jump in head first. He would learn eventually. Soon things would settle down. He would win her over. I had no doubt. There were people who didn't like him. But there was not a single person in this world who could say no to his love.

The girl is lucky. Fuck. Very lucky. She wouldn't know what she's getting. He would shower her with a million kisses from sun up to sun down. Hug her for the stupidest of the reasons. Rub his cheek on hers for no reason. Cuddle at every chance he got.

Basically he would do everything he did with me and some more. A lot more actually. It wouldn't be just kisses on her cheek or neck. It would involve his tongue. It would end with rocking sex. Would it change his idea of sex? Would he finally realize that sex was more with a special someone? Would he finally stop sleeping around?

Will he forget me?

Suddenly a pang of sorrow settled in my stomach.

It was stupid. Of course he would. Not forget all together. But I'd slowly fade in the background.

It was unreasonable to get jealous. But the growing feeling was jealousy. I had to share Ash. Not with someone like Henry or Gino. A girl, who had already swept him off his feet without even trying.

She would get passionate kisses like I could only imagine. I would never get them. I could only-

I jerked on my seat, sitting up right.

"Boss?"

"I fell asleep." I lied.

Seb laughed. "We are almost there. Sorry."

I clutched my temples.

Why would I want passionate kisses from him?

Fuck.

Where the heck was my logical, functioning brain? Why was I thinking like a teenager? Comparing myself with a girl that I had not yet met?

For all I knew Ash had just a crush. And it didn't matter if it was love.

There were other things to worry about.

I had to worry about her character, what if she was a snitch? If she was an honest girl, I had to make sure that she would care for him. I had no right to worry about fucking kisses. My god, I had lost my mind.

The car shuddered to a halt.

"Welcome to the party, Boss." Seb grinned.

I needed this distraction.

****

It was not a distraction, it was a bucket of ice cold water on my head.

I couldn't unwind and relax. I had plastered a smile and had gone through the motions that were expected of me. I had struggled to keep myself from looking at my watch.

Ava. The baby.

She was the loveliest little thing and laughed for no reason. Tolan had put her in my arms without a warning. She just giggled, staring at my face and clutching my chin. That was the last straw.

I had to leave. Once the cake was cut and slices were served, I took my leave giving some excuse.

Now that I was driving back, all alone in my comfortable car, I could breathe easy.

Rob hadn't been there to stop me from escaping. He had been the first to leave. But not before I was introduced to his girl.

Martha.

The way her hands rested on his back after every sentence had made me want to smash something.

Another lucky girl.

Every one of my team had a plus one. I was the only fucking guy who was single. Also, I was the oldest.

I should be the one celebrating my kid's birthday.

Where did it all go wrong? What the fuck was I doing all these years?

I punched the steering wheel until my palm throbbed.

My breathing was hard.

I could feel the pressure building in my head.

Being mad at myself was not going to solve anything. I steered to the side and stopped on the shoulder. I shouldn't drive with this ever raising anger. I had to get myself under control first.

I switched on the radio and closed my eyes.

It was that instrumental jazz station. It was soothing.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I was single for the longest time. I had been to parties before. I never got this angry.

Piles. Fucking piles.

I shouldn't have gone to the doctor. That's the problem. Now I was scared and lonely. I just want to lean on someone and let it all go.

My phone flared up on the dash.

Unknown number.

"Hello, Nick?"

The voice sounded familiar.

I cleared my throat and spoke up. "Yes. Who is this?"

"Kester. Henry is hospitalized. I've sent you the address."

Fuck.

***