Sword-swallowing Stan was looking much thinner,

So I invited him over for a hearty dinner.

He arrived with a raging appetite,

And what he ate gave me quite a fright.

I served some bread and butter to start.

What happened next nearly stopped my heart.

He opened his mouth as if to yawn,

Then swallowed my knives—all of them gone!

His next course certainly gave me the shivers,

When down his throat slid my scissors.

I offered him turkey—he politely refused,

Stepping outside, looking somewhat amused.

He returned moments later, and I felt floored—

In his hands, a gleaming Samurai sword!

He buttered it up and opened wide,

Then slid the whole darn thing inside.

I felt hopeful when he asked for some soup,

But he dumped in razors, eating one with each scoop.

For dessert, he devoured a wood-splitting axe,

Then chased it down with a box of thumbtacks.

Sword-swallowing Stan is a nice enough guy,

But next time I'm inviting you over for pie.