Come on down to the superhero superstore!

Purchase superpowers you've never had before!

Travel in style with teleportation!

Grow new limbs with regeneration!

Bullet-proof, fireproof—buy one, get one free!

Each power comes with our money-back guarantee!

X-ray vision to improve your sight!

Leap over buildings with the power of flight!

You'll never be late with super-speed.

You'll never be duped when you can mind-read.

Upgrade your body with steel for bones,

Skin-like armor, tough as stones.

Try it out free—give it a feel.

It won't take super-smarts to know it's a deal!

Pick up our Mystery Box of Ability—

Inside awaits a power you cannot see!

Invisibility? Invincibility? Invulnerability?

Which one will it be?

Or grab the Super Box—it has all three!

Make them obey with mind control.

Freeze time by altering temporal flow.

Shoot things right from your hands—

Electricity, webs, or rubber bands.

Our Superhero Subscription has a low monthly fee—

Sign up today to get the first month free!

Every month you'll receive a new superpower—

Each one is sure to make enemies cower.

Wield energy shields!

Generate force fields!

Purchase super-smelling,

We'll throw in future-telling.

The first fifty customers receive a free prize:

The power to shoot lasers right from your eyes.

So come on down without delay.

Become a superhero today!