Who drew a mustachio

On this pistachio?

Who slipped shoes

Onto these cashews?

Who sketched hands

On the pecans?

Who pulled jeans

Onto the cocoa beans?

Who gave a degree of academia

To the noble macadamia?

Who stuck horns

On the acorns?

Who drew a nose on the hazelnut,

And made it sniff with its nasal shut?

Who made the hickory nut

Do a victory strut?

Who turned the pili nuts

Into downright silly nuts?

Who placed the pine nut

Inside of a vine hut?

Who gave a wallet

To the walnut?

And, oh—who dared,

To draw a butt on this coconut?