"This magic towel can wipe away anything—

One simple swipe and all will be envying

Its power to make any mess disappear.

You'll have the cleanest house in the whole hemisphere!"

That's what they told me when they sold me this cloth.

They said I could use it to wipe anything off.

I spilled juice on my table, and when I wiped it away,

The whole table vanished, but I guess that's okay,

Because there's no table to clean anymore—

I guess it's just one less daily chore.

I used it to dry off my dog, all wet,

Now he's bald with only pink skin left to pet.

I hung the towel on the fence post to dry,

Just as my friend's little brother ran by.

He wrapped it around him and rolled on the ground,

And to this day, he's never been found.

Mom used it to clean my sister's chin—

Sadly, she'll never smile again.

A smudge on your cheek—I know just what to do.

Here, let me wipe that away for you!