Tagg invented a helium suit,

Equipped with a safety parachute.

He wanted to leave on a holiday,

So he filled it up and floated away.

He rose above rooftops,

Drifted over city shops.

From way above, he saw farmers' crops.

He nearly bumped the mountain tops.

Until, at last, he rose so high,

There was nothing around but clear, blue sky.

Out of nowhere, a bird zoomed by

And struck him right beneath the thigh.

The suit was torn by the bird's sharp beak.

The helium suit had sprung a leak.

He began to fall at break-neck speed.

The parachute was his only hope, indeed.

He pulled the ripcord, but nothing happened.

He would soon meet the ground, quite flattened.

Just in time, he remembered his invention—

A super-padded butt extension.

He got in position and embraced for impact.

He bounced off the ground and stayed intact.

Now if you ask Tagg, he'll say he's found

Holidays are best spent on the ground.