If there were an amusement park just for adults,

The spinning and scary rides would have no wait.

Most rides would barely accelerate—

They'd let you relax and concentrate.

The park wouldn't even stay open late,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

The roller coasters wouldn't have a line.

But there'd be a long wait to sit and recline.

Everyone would be gone before nine,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

Nobody would watch the parade.

There'd be no fun arcade,

Or rides to make you afraid—

Just ones that peacefully sway,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

The ride that you'd wait for all day,

Would be sitting quietly in the shade,

Sipping a cold lemonade,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

They wouldn't sell tasty treats—

No cotton candy, no churros, no sweets—

They'd only sell salad topped with beets,

Ifthere were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

There would be places to stand and chat

About boring things like this and that,

And how they set their thermostat,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

No rides would make them feel stressed.

The most popular ones would let them rest.

The soft bench in the shade would be their best,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

If there were an amusement park just for adults,

At the entrance they'd give you a map

Showing all the best places to nap

And you could schedule a time on an app,

If there were an amusement park for adults.

Thankfully, there are no amusement parks just for adults.

They're for kids who help us stay young.

They're for kids who remind us how to have fun.

Hopefully, the day will never come

When there are amusement parks just for adults.