My eyes were heavy from the lack of sleep from the night before. As I slowly made my way down the what seemed to be endless white hallway I approached the ICU. There they were holding two patients of mine that I have been seeing on and off the past couple months. Both the same problem and both only a week apart from their first admission to the hospital.

I walked into the ICU and could see to my left was the nurses station. Lined with desks and any supplies they may need caring for all the children in this wing of the hospital. To my right was rooms 635 to 655. Most of these rooms were taken up by children that needed our help, but only two of them were in my care today. I made my way closer to their rooms. Nancy Drake, a 12 year old African American girl that was just admitted yesterday evening for the same problems as usual. Chest pains, shortness in breath, occasional fainting, and dizziness. She was diagnosed with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. Which can affect anyone at any age, and for this sad girl... Meant heart failure.

Nancy was in room 637. Right next door Alec Beckins, an 11 year old white boy who was diagnosed with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy only a week after Nancy. Both children I have been seeing ever sense they were babies. Whenever they were sick they both came to me. Now for some reason both their fates have made their way to my life. And I have to choose between them. Normally the first in line to get their heart transplanted would get the heart. But these two cases are irregular. Both children's conditions are growing worse by the hour and they have been moved to the top of the waiting list. They both need a heart badly, and just this morning a heart from a young man that passed had put himself in the arms of the hospital. Any organs that could save a life would be used if needed.

We have one heart and two children, both only have days left until they pass. And I must make the choice on who gets the heart. Now the first patient I talk to is going to be the one that I saw first. That would be Nancy Drake. As I step in front of the door to her room. I take in a deep breath, and walk in.

-6 Months earlier-

I walked into the colorful room with a smile on my face. "Good morning Nancy!" I said, "What could I help you all with today?" Nancy's father gave me a quick grin and held his daughter close. She looked at me and gave me a quick smile before burying her head in her fathers chest.

"Doc I don't know. Nancy has been seeming off lately. She getting tired easier and is complaining about chest pains and dizziness. I'm not sure what is wrong with her." Mr. Drake said. "No worries Mr. Drake I've been seeing Nancy ever sense she was a little fella!" I said cheerfully. "I'm sure it is just her growing. She is getting close to becoming a teenager and that hanged the body a lot. But I'll give her a check up and we will take a couple scans to make sure everything is alright."

After talking with Mr. Drake he seemed reassured that Nancy was fine. She was a strong little girl and I knew there couldn't be anything serious behind this. She couldn't be going through anything like Tyler is going through.

We had brought Nancy to the x-Ray room for some tests. To make sure her lungs, heart, stomach, and rib cage seemed normal. I was conducting the test myself so I brought her in the room. "Ok Nancy I'm gonna need you to wear this!" I handed her a gray vest that is needed for patients to wear during x-rays. "Why do I need to wear this?" Nancy asked. "Well kiddo the material of the vest protects the rest of your body and let's us see exactly what we have to." I said strapping her in.

I walked behind the protection glass and started the test. Just then my phone began to ring. The light up screen on my phone read "Alice" I quickly turned my phone to silent and continued with the tests. If whatever she was calling me about was about Tyler than I don't want to hear about it. I've been through too much already. "Ok Nancy I need you to take in a big breath!" I said as the machine took pictures of her heart. Once the images were done I had Nancy and her father wait outside. I looked over the images and noticed something strange about the pictures of the heart. The tissue around her heart was abnormally large.

-6 months later-

Mr. Drake slammed his fists on the table in front of him. "What in gods name are you saying someone else may get the heart? This is my little girl we are talking about!" He screamed at me. I could only stand there in exams toon and notice that Nancy was looking away from us to a wall, silently sobbing at the thought that someone might be chosen over her. I didn't even tell them that I had to choose. All that I told them was that someone else needed the heart just as bad as her. And that the hospital was deciding what to do. They just guess really well apparently.

"Mr. Drake please I'm trying everything I Ca-" he cut me off. "No dammit! I won't just sit here in a small room everyday watching my only daughter die! After her mother passed away 2 years ago everything began to fall apart. And I'll be dammed if I let her memory die with her daughter. "I understand sir. I'm trying everyth-"He cut me off again. "No! Every sense your wife left you you have been a mess! Going back and forth between patients and never making the right call! Be a man and make the choice to save the life of a young girl!"

"Enough!" I yelled back to him. As soon as my voice was raised his eyes went from anger to pity. He knew what he said was wrong and he instantly regretted it. "Look Michael I'm sorry I-" This time I cut him off. "The other person that needs the heart is an 11 year old boy that happens to be right next door. He was diagnosed a week after Nancy and he is just as scared as she is. So please sir just because I have had trouble on my life the past year doesn't mean I am doing everything I can for these kids!" I turned to the door and walked out.

I glanced back in to see Mr. Drake comforting Nancy. Seeing them together like that made me think of the last time I was with Tyler. How he was in a bed just like that looking up at me waiting for the pain to stop. I turned towards Alec's room, and walked in.

-6 months earlier-

"Alice everything that has happened sense has been completely unfair to me! You are constantly out late drinking and I don't even know we're you are half the time! When I come home I expect you to be passed out on the couch or out god knows where!" I yelled into my phone. Just a week earlier she called me from the police station down the street from the hospital. She was taken in for another DUI. And things have started to get out of hand. As she yelled back at me through the phone everyone in the lounge began to clear out. Letting me have my own time to talk to my wife I could speak freely with nobody in here with me. But they all left a moment too soon cause mid sentence I hung up the phone.

I turned towards the mirror over the sink next to me and whipped my eyes and splashed water on my face. The past week has been getting so much worse from Nancy's condition to so many other children coming in sick, I'm exhausted. I dried off my face and turned to the exit to get to my next patient. An 11 year old boy named Alec that came in to the ER today for complaining about being dizzy at school and fainting on his way to one of his classes.

I grabbed my clip board that had all his information on it. I looked it over and saw that he did have some heart problems in the past but never anything that was too intense to deal with. I had been seeing Alex ever sense he was born so I know this kid. He's pretty tough but we always need to look into things to just make sure.

I made my way to his room and opened the door with a smile on my face. The best one I could make at least. "Hello Beckins family!" I said in a funny voice as I walked in. Both Alec's mother and father were great people. Alec had an amazing sense of humor growing up so anything that I threw at him put a big smile on his face. He busted out laughing. "Ok ok now Alec settle down." His father said chuckling. "So it seems to me that Alec has been having problems at school when it comes to getting dizzy and maybe fainting?" I asked jokingly. "Are you sure you haven't been fainting from any pretty girls you have been seeing?" I asked. Alec started to blush and a look of being surprised shot onto his face. "What! Ew! No! Girls are gross!" He said, sticking his tongue out. "Excuse me young man?" His mother said giving him a sarcastic tone. We all laughed as I settled in with the things we needed to get done.

"Alright guys with all jokes aside Alec has had some heart problems in the past. So we wanted to get some tests on him to make sure everything is up to speed. In a couple years he will become a teenager and it is possible these are just hormones. Premature puberty is a thing you know." I said. "Alright Doctor you gotta do what you gotta do." Said Mrs. Beckins. "Don't worry everyone as soon as I get the tests in I will be sure to come to you with what we find. A nurse will be in shortly to take blood and check his blood pressure!" As I walked out Alec seemed to freak out at the thought of needles. It was funny to see and started to put me in a good mood to see that kid again. But my happiness was short lived, as usual.

A nurse I had just started to become quite fond of accidentally bummed into me as I entered the lab to check up on Alec's blood work as soon as it came in. She was a kind young woman that always did what she was told. She would become an excellent Doctor if she put her mind to it. But then she reminded me. "Whoops sorry about that Doctor!" Said said. "No problem have a nice day!" I said back, but before I could turn away she stopped be as I entered the lab. "Doctor I-I'm sorry for your loss." She said as the door shut in front of her. My eyes started to feel glossy as my vision started to blur slightly with tears forming in my eyes. As soon as Alec's tests were in I looked them over to get my mind off of everything going on in my personal life. Then it hit me. This couldn't be happening again. Not in such a short time. Alec's labs showed extremely high blood pressure, and irregular blood flow coming from the heart.

-6 months later-

Alec only sat silently in his bed from the knees I had just told him. And his parents cuddled up together tightly holding back the tears. "Is there anything we can do to help his chances of getting the heart?" Mrs. Beckins asked quickly. "I'm afraid it's in the hands of the hospital. I can do the best I can but I can't promise anything." I said to them. "Dear god why... Why my boy?" Mr. Beckins said sobbing into his hands. Alec turned towards us and smiled. "Guys it's ok, I'm right here." He said smiling.

The way Alec was handling everything gave me hope. He is such a smart and bright child, nothing can bring him down. Though, I didn't have the heart to tell him I was the one choosing who got the heart. Ironic, isn't it?

"I will have more information on who the heart goes to tomorrow." I said. "Doctor isn't there anything we can do to calm ourselves down? This is an 11 year old boy for crying out loud he has a life to live!" Mr. Beckins yelled. The sudden outburst almost made me snap just like with Mr. Drake. "Sir the other person that needs a heart as much as Alec is a 13 year old girl that lives with her single father that are hardly getting by. Please sir. I know it's hard but everyone in this situation deserves to live." Saying that shut him down completely and made Alec look slightly uncomfortable.

"Alec?" I asked. He turned toward me with a broken smile. "You'll be ok." I said as he returned my words with a full grin. Then, I exited the room.

It was 9 o'clock and was time for me to head home. I had to make this choose as soon as possible for the greater good or both kids would end up dying. On the ride home I began to think of everything that had happened in the past 6 months. How so many people have been hurt and not everyone had a second chance to live their life to the fullest. And because of that families fell apart, like mine.

As I opened my apartment door I dropped everything in my arms and sat down on the couch and let out a long sign. I looked at the coffee table in front of me and stared at the unsigned divorce papers that have been picking up dust the past couple of days.

After what happened to Tyler everything in my life began to fall apart. My wife became a wreck and our marriage fell apart. And close patients of mine got fatal illnesses and it seemed like everything was out of my control. I got up and headed into the bathroom to take a long bath. I thought about who was going to get the heart, and why either of them deserved to get it over the other. But there were no reasons to choose over the other. And this wasn't a decision that could be handled with the flip on a coin. This was a life of a person that has hardly lives the life they have been given to begin with. Both of them deserved to live. They just need a second chance. And they both can't have that.

After I got out of the bath I looked at myself in the mirror as I turned on the blow dryer. The loud noise seemed to mask the world around me for a while until my hair was dry and my scalp began to feel like it was getting burnt. Then I snapped back into reality and was faced with the choice in front of me. A second chance is all they need. That is what made me think of Tyler again. A boy that was diagnosed with severe depression that had no way to express himself and get out of his own head. And in the end he took his own life for it. And only 7 months ago the world had lost a bright 15 year old boy. And I lost a son.

I thought about the last time I ever talked to him. How he said in the bed of the hospital that he regrets doing it and wishes he could take it back. Cause the pain was too intense. He just needed a second chance to live, but he didn't get it that night. Cause only 5 hours after being admitted to the same hospital as I work he died on the operating table. And on that day a large part of me died with him. And everything around me began to fall apart. All these two kids needed was a second chance. And somehow I needed to give it to them. I felt so exhausted and so tired from everything in my life. I wanted to do the right thing for once. Instead of shutting my ex wife out I wanted to save a life. Instead of thinking about myself I wanted to save a life. And instead of putting a fake smile on my face I wanted to put a real one on a dying child.

That is when I knew what I was going to do. I wasn't going to choose between the two children. They both were going to live. I turned the blow drier on to full blast and got into the bath tub. I set the drier next to the tub and grabbed my phone from my pants next to me and called 911. Almost immediately an operator answered. "Hello 911 what is your emergency?" Then I replied. "Hello, my name is Doctor Jonathan Blake and I am a head doctor at Burningham  Memorial children's hospital. I have two patients that desperately need heart transplants but only one heart is available. I want you to use the heart available on Nancy Drake... And mine on Alec Beckins." I said. The operator started to panic not knowing what I was about to do. But I knew that these calls were recorded. So I said my address and for the first time in a long time I smiled knowing I was giving life to another person. It may have not been in the right way. But it was the only way to cope with my everyday life and save both of them. Then, before everything went silent. I knocked the hair drier into the tub.