Becker's POV...

Chase's doctor's appointment was an eye opener for me. Dr. Olson reminded me that Greya is essentially a single mom.  It's such a weird concept to me, knowing she's only eighteen and trying to finish high school. She shouldn't be raising a child. I worry about how much she deals with every day. Seeing it firsthand, I realize the stress she must be feeling and the reason she hasn't accepted any college offers yet. I wish there was more I could do for her, but my own life is an unbearable mess as it is.

I can't help staring out the window while Greya drives us to the grocery store and wondering why such an amazing person has been dealt such a shitty hand in life; why either of us deserve what we've been through.

"You're quiet," Greya shyly points out. I look over at her to see she's nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

"Just thinking," I smile at her.

"I know this morning was a lot to take in... it's a lot for me so if you're having second..." I place my hand on her thigh, stopping her from thinking the wrong thing.

"I'm not having second thoughts, Love. I was thinking about how much you've gone through and how strong you are." She gives me a half smile, unsure if she should believe me or not.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I'm in this, I'm here for you and Chase," I try and reassure her. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to take care of myself and Alec, let alone help her take care of a handicapped kid, but she doesn't need to hear that.

We pull into the grocery store parking lot and Chase surprisingly grabs my hand when we exit the car. Greya's face instantly lights up, appreciative of Chase's actions and my acceptance.

"I'm going to push the cart, just make sure I don't hit anyone," chase blurts out. I look to Greya for her approval, and she shrugs her shoulders, still smiling.

We race through the aisles, thankfully not injuring any innocent bystanders. I'm not sure how he does it, but Chase seems to know exactly where we are in each isle and throws random snack items into the cart. It's truly amazing how well this kid gets on with life without his parents around. I lost my mum and it felt like the end of the world for me; more like the end of my easy going and safe life. Thank God these two had their grandmother to give them love and keep them unharmed.

Chase is passed out cold in the back seat by the time we get back to their house, so I carry him up to his bed and then help Greya with the groceries.

"We have practice in a few hours, does Fynn come over to stay with Chase while you're gone?" I'm putting the cold stuff away in the fridge and wondering how she's going to juggle her schedule around.

"I told coach I wasn't making it today, but yeah, usually Fynn watches him for me. Maybe I should give up soccer...Its's not fair to Fynn or Chase." She's standing at the sink looking out the window when she says this.

"Don't give up something you're so good at! It makes you happy to play, you deserve that in your life. I'll help you, we can all help you Greya."

"I can't ask that of you!" She turns around and starts walking towards me and grabs the hem of my shirt. I hold my breath on instinct, my body tensing as a natural reflex. Her green eyes penetrating through me while she searches my face for any sign of acceptance. She's proving a point, that I'm not ready to take on more responsibility, and I hate myself even more because of it.

I haven't flinched away from her yet. My mind and my body is learning that Greya is my safe place. Her hands on me still a foreign concept though and I wish more than anything that I could be normal.

"Beck," she whispers, bringing my attention back to her hands that are now lifting my shirt. She's moving slowly, studying my reaction to her. So far I'm frozen like a statue, but it's better than vomiting, so I'll take it!

She lifts my shirt high enough so that the faded bruising along my rib cage is on full display. I watch and feel her soft finger tips brush my skin, outlining the bruising. Her hands are warm and move over me with a delicacy that causes my skin to erupt with goosebumps and my body to nervously quiver at the same time. I can't decipher if what I'm feeling is pleasure or pain. I know she's not trying to hurt me so this must be pleasure. Her hand then moves to my upper chest and her palm rests over my heart.

Her skin touching the skin over my heart. No doubt she can feel how erratic it's beating. She keeps her hand there while her encouraging eyes watch my worried ones.

"Breathe for me B, you're doing so good, stay with me."

Always! I'll always stay with you, I can't quite manage to say out loud. My body is confused, while my heart is all in this with her. I'm fighting back tears trying to figure out these new sensations I'm getting from her.

"I want to feel more of you Beck. I want to wrap my arms around you and hug you, do you know why?"

I just stare at her.

"Because I care about you, a lot. I want you to feel how much I care about you and I'll wait for as long as it takes for you to trust me and when I have my arms around you, I want it to feel good and safe. I can't ask for you to take care of Chase for me because I need you to take care of you so we can work on us," she points her finger at me then at herself.

Fuck! I'm crying like a baby now.

She's right. She has her bare hand on my bare chest and I'm trying not to completely fall apart on her. I'll help her with anything she needs, I want her to know that, but she also needs for me to give her things I'm not able to give her yet, like normal intimate contact.

"I'm trying, Greya. I'll never stop trying for you."

"I know you are. You've already come a long way, I'm so proud of you."

Fuck... more tears. I can't take it anymore, I need her.

"Please hug me, I need you to hug me," I plead with her.

She removes her hand from my chest and my shirt falls back down. I'm shaking and crying in front of her and I know she wants to hold me as much I want her to.

"Are you sure?" I nod my approval.

She steps nearer, closing the gap between us and wraps her arms securely around my shaking body, instantly soothing me. I burry my face into her neck and wrap my arms around her too.

My emotions are so overwhelming that I cry harder into her neck while she embraces me. "I'm so sorry Grey...I'm so sorry, I'll keep trying."

"Shh, you're ok, I've got you," she whispers while hugging me tighter. She makes me feel loved, at least I think this is what love should feel like and I don't want this feeling to ever go away.

"Please don't let go, and don't ever stop trying to hug me." I don't want her to give up on me. She's my safe haven.

"I'll never let you go. What ever you're ready for and what ever you need me to do, I've got you," she says.

I softly kiss her neck and then she pulls back slightly so we can look at each other. I'm a mess in her arms. I wipe my tear stained face in my shirt, embarrassed about not being able to keep it together in front of the one person I want to love me more than anything.

Her smile is so genuine and kind and I feel her palm cup my cheek in the tender way she always does. And I lean into her hand like I always do. God, I hope I can be strong enough for this girl.